Round Holes – 30th November 2024

November 30, 2024April 21, 2026 ~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

Often bewildered
A cultural disconnect
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong anywhere
A choice I made long ago

Another planet
Aliens walk among us
A sideways side-eye
Weird welcomes may be hiding
Daggers and fists held in check

Heads down and bum up
The square pegs will never fit
Scared of the unknown
A slow assimilation
Under cover of the night

Who am I to say?
I’m not one but the other
Out in the wide-open
Searching for a hole to hide
Keep quiet, wait for my moment

It’s us versus them
Until accommodated
Compelled to fit in
Or stay along the margins
Til my tribe reveals itself

Often bewildered
Aliens walk among us
Scared of the unknown
Searching for a hole to hide
Til my tribe reveals itself

A garland tanka shared with the Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Otherness

Today I’m feeling:

Mellow and relaxed. After Amy left this morning and I got back from Utopia, I lazily read books and comics and watched some videos. I found an appropriate dose of a gummy to get me into things without taking me down the paranoia highway.

Around 3 pm, I hopped into bed and read more comics before a pleasant nap, which I got from at around 5 pm.

I forced myself out into my room, where I searched and researched Savage Dragon and Usagi Yojimbo comics before crashing around with the guitar, which sounded good today, though perhaps it was just from the CBD in the gummy.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s friends who are taking care of each other at Wan’s place near Chiang Khong.

The best thing about today was:

Reading a few issues of the current Love and Rockets series again. Such a rich and wonderful read and told with great skill.

I love that I’ve been able to watch the characters develop over all these years. It’s so well written that sometimes little is said but the reader fills in the gaps to move the story along.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The worst thing about the gummy experience is that time just disappears. I want to read more, listen to more music, write etc but somehow it’s time to go to bed already.

Something I learned today?

Art at Utopia is renting the shop next door to him to do more roasting. He’s doing well with his brand.

Amy sent me this picture while I was at Utopia. She had a big two-litre bottle of red wine ready to go to Wan’s birthday party this evening. She was just about to leave when….

Red Wine – 4th October 2023

October 4, 2023January 5, 2024 ~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Though I am
I used to be
Never felt strange
But do agree

a simple man
a different me
accepting change
that I must be

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but happy and positive. I got another couple of lessons completed this morning and happy with how they turned out. I’d hoped to get to Daytripper to do more but after a quick shop, I got home all sweaty and jumped into the shower and didn’t feel like putting clothes on to venture outside again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lack of traffic in the morning meant I didn’t need to rush too much to clock in at school.

The best thing about today was:

See the attached picture.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I gave in to nap time though I think it was only for about forty minutes. I listened to the Jazzcore podcast so it was a pretty wild aural assault into my dreams. I woke up drooling.

Something I learned today?

Funfai messaged me to say she saw me at school this morning and when I asked her why she was there she said she was playing tennis again. She said she will go again on Friday so I will pack some clothes and perhaps have a chance to have a hit with her too.

What are my top priorities for the day?

Now I’m at the end of the day but I know the main priority was having organised to meet my old students and treat them to lunch. As they were also Bruno’s old students I thought it would be a nice surprise for all of them to catch up. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be difficult for the kids and if they would flake out but they made it and also in good time.

Quote: Humility cannot exist without love, and love cannot exist without humility – Saint Theresa of Avila

I always subscribed to the notion that you must love yourself before you can let be anyone else (though it took me about 40 years to actually put it into practice). Once you’ve understood how to love yourself you learn to put others first and you no longer need to seek their approval or play any kind of game with them. You can be humble before them.