Tag: school

Coy Maids Yield – 23rd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

A peach, not yet ripe, hangs tempting
Soft fur on skin clear and pale
Untouched by the hands of fate
A heart grows older, lamenting
This light will never be the same
When summer arrives, the crow is late
And so shall end this game

The gravity tugs at all the fruits
Suspended like puppets, dancing on the wind
The ripened fall among the flowers
As the strings begin to yield and bend
Gently whispered words that sour
As hungry wolves gather sniffing
In search of fresh fruits to devour

No new ideas found under Newton’s tree
What is gone will bloom again
Forbidden fruits in gardens green
Cherries picked, hummingbird and bee
Seeds spread to await cold rain
The coy maids’ pollen floating free

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that we found a little scratch on Cap’s belly last night so that we could treat it before it might get infected. It was because I love to pet our cats that I usually find scratches and cuts that need attention.

All good things must come to an end? Whilst I’m happily working away, thinking up more and better ways to encourage my students to learn, I got told that the school has received complaints about me from parents. It’s not clear to me exactly what these complaints are yet but giving students assignments to work on when they are not in class (ie online teaching times) was mentioned.

As I think about it I wonder if these complaints are actually not so much about me but about the students, their children. Some are so far behind that they would struggle in even primary classes.

Tomorrow I will talk to Champ and Kru Nu and I will think of questions that I want to ask them. In particular, now, my two questions are what are the specific complaints and what do you want me to do? When I was talking with Champ, I just got the vague response of ‘make the complaints go away.’

I know that George will be shaking his head if he knows about this. He always keeps everything smooth and makes everything as easy as possible for his students. They can cruise through his class. I see the Thai teachers doing this too.

Ah – I’ve written this all here before. I want to push the students, make them curious and interested to learn. Each class has such good students mixed with others who have very poor skills. I prefer to teach to the middle-top rather than be bored with teaching such simple stuff.

But maybe I should change my thinking, have the simple life, make it easy and care less about the outcome for the students. It feels like such a cop out to me. Should I even be a teacher? I’m anxious and confused now. I want to defend myself but I should just try and keep my mouth shut. In the meeting tomorrow I should take notes and just work to what they tell me.

Gah! Even as I’m writing that my head is going ‘but…but…but.’ Do I care too much? I love all these kids, even the poor students. Even the ones who don’t like me.

Along with all this we’ve been trying to sort out Amy’s name change for her Aussie passport and that can of worms continued to grow but now we’ve sorted it out and will have to deal with all the Thai paperwork when she’s back from Australia again. That was stressful and it’s still stressful knowing that we will have to revisit it again in the future.

In another 11 years (or is it 15?) I will be able to get my superannuation from Australia. Where do I want to be? Where will we want to be? Should we sell up and go back now? Could I survive in Australia again? Could I do it without working? Where is the easy life I was searching for?

Haha. I make myself laugh. I’m always telling myself that it is better to suffer in life. To know that you are alive. Life is pain. And that’s ok with me.

The Week That Was – 25th February 1979

The Hum Of Life Has Gone – 19th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Those were the days of objects that sing
Now all our machines ever do is ping
I don’t want to say that it’s wrong
But I’d like to hear a different song

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that most students didn’t come to school yesterday – I ended up drinking coffee and getting a massage.

My neck and back were sore yesterday evening after my massage yet somehow I was invigorated and stayed up reading pretty late.

Today has turned out a little busier with more students around but all at a nice, manageable size. I’m thinking about changing 2/11’s work as they all seem a little confused about even simple things. At the opposite end, 2/9 are doing super well.

I watched a short video about sexual assault in Thai schools and I want to show it to 2/9 and have some discussion around it. I talked with the class leaders to make sure that they tell me if they think there may be any problem for any students to watch this. I mean, who knows if anyone is going through those things now? They seemed to think that it would be ok. So now I’m looking forward to putting together some questions and scenarios for them to discuss.

It’s interesting and frustrating, the different levels I am teaching these kids at. I think they are all great though – even the lazy and disinterested.

Beyond The Blind Spot – 12th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Seeing things as they are
Dreaming them as they could be
A dark forest, a wide sky
A landscape full of human history

A spirited manifestation
Flashes of insight, literary
The lyrical moment happens
There born, the epiphany

Inspired and mangled from Black Paper: Writing in a Dark Time by Teju Cole
30th Oct 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – epiphany

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch our jacarandas grow a few feet higher and the trunks a little thicker, every year.

Friday again already. It’s been great to be able to sit at House and keep up with lots of reading and writing. Next week I won’t have so much free time like this but have the pleasure of being face-to-face with students. I’m happy with all the scenarios at this stage. I’m enjoying everything. Is life too easy?

As with a couple of years ago, I’m kinda excited for Amy to go away for a while, leaving me to fend for myself and indulge in all my endeavours. I do know, though, that I will also get lonely and I will miss her a lot. Especially her cooking.

It looks as if Jess and Mei will be coming to Thailand soon too. It will be great to see them again and I know Amy will have a great time with them here.

The Week That Was – 18th February 1979

Condemned – 5th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 15 Comments

Condemned to a life of luxury
Paranoia digs away respect
Seen through anger-coloured glasses
Your reality empowers neglect

Trapped in a downward spiral
Your happiness evaporating
Chased away all the pleasures
Now anxiously awaiting

30th Jan 2026 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #212 – luxury

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the coffee beans that came from all over the world to make my stronger coffee at 22 Grams yesterday. A really fruity flavour. I’m also happy and grateful to Bruno for paying for it this time.

A busy day running around, organising, getting everything prepared for my students to work by themselves next week so that they don’t need to attend class. I hope that enough students are self-motivated. It’s the first week so I guess I should give them a break but breaks are all they ever really get. I’d rather push them!

It’s great having students at school again. I love it when ones I don’t know try to talk with me or we can play around a little.

Lots of Covid cases around where we live at the moment. I don’t know what the future idea is. It seems inevitable that we will have to catch it one day. How do we manage that?

For instance, there have already been cases reported at school but there’s no protocol in place. Do we close the school? Close those classes with known contact? How many people have it undetected without symptoms? Have I had it already?

Of course, everyone is tired of the situation. Should we just get back to business as usual and accept the consequences?

Naked Cowboys – 4th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Two naked cowboys dangling their dicks
Deadset on destruction with their bag of tricks
The smartest of the bunch wandering the hills
Who can piss the highest, counting their kills

Sing it to the mountains
Sing it in the squares
The naked cowboy fucked it all
And pretends he really cares

Inspired by the picture and the American Military-Industrial Complex.
Shared to Word of the Day Challenge – naked

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that yesterday I was able to spend time preparing work in the cafe and get out of school for the afternoon.

A very nice day again. There was a big storm in the morning as I drove to work and traffic was bad around school and as usual, the car park and entrance was flooding, so everyone was stepping carefully.

I clocked in and dropped my things and ‘dashed’ down to House for a couple of coffees. Stuck in traffic, I calmed myself, knowing that I could spend this extra time listening to podcasts. I still had half an hour before class was due to start and the baristas were late to arrive but I was still calm and it gave me extra time to pet Tokyo anyway.

I made it back to school with enough time to spare to collect a speaker I needed for a listening exercise for my first class and got there to happy children, in both my class, and the one next door, where many of the kids know me from teaching them in primary.

Classes all morning were successful and my experiment with 2/9 seems to be OK so far, delegating a little of the responsibilities to group leaders. As they have chosen subjects and given me texts/websites to work with, I now am under pressure to put together lessons and classes in time for them. But I can feel, as I read through, that I have ideas about what they can do and what kind of work I can create for them.

Scoffed some lunch and went off to pick up Bruno. Took him to 22 Grams as he hadn’t been there before and we sat and chatted together as well as with Donut. I savoured my coffees and my time this afternoon and, after dropping Bruno home, had an hour to kill back at school in the teacher’s room, so read a few things and ended up working on 2/9 lessons.

I’ve really enjoyed the day and feel powered by the energy of my students and friends and that can override any negative thoughts I still might have in my head. I can acknowledge them and let them float away. I’m excited enough about all the things I still want to do for myself.

Read A Book – 2nd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Gonna be a good day, gonna read a book
Even the adults are smiling everywhere I look
The sun may not be shining but our hearts are bright
It’s gonna be a good day, gonna let in the light

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see my students back at school again today. They were happy to see each other but not so happy to study again.

Busy and mostly successful day at school. No time to read or write, really, and one hurried coffee in the morning. I felt good and happy, though.

But now I’m tired and feeling it a little. We haven’t been given any schedule for tomorrow yet, so I can only hope that it’s not as filled as today. Either way, I will cope and enjoy my day.

The Week That Was – 28th January 1979

Mr Ghost – 15th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Waking up, never sure I am me
Wondering today just who I will be
Sometimes you do not want to be controlled
You make me do all the things that I’m told

You whisper those dark secrets in my ear
Directing me through prejudice and fear
I try to blank you out, please go away!
I try to yank you out, but you will stay

Like a dog barking at the thinnest air
I’m talking to someone who isn’t there
A living being conjured in my brain
An agent I must practice to restrain

You’re taking over, no longer to wait
I cannot hold it so I accept my fate

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this time at school without having to teach. It’s very relaxing and really helps me wind down.

It’s a dull, dark day today – feels like England. My eyes feel heavy and whilst not being at all unhappy, some of the joy seems to have been sucked out of everything I’ve done. Though I did just have a good chat with Dylan, which sees me writing this now, after 4pm, when I could be heading home.

Not much of any import occurred today. I did a lot of reading and avoided people, mostly. As I said to Dylan, the avoidance is not out of discomfort or anything about other people but when you are around people here at school, you tend to get roped into doing things.

Perhaps worse than that is being told you have something to do and getting tensed up about it and then changing minds have you not doing it in the end. An anxiety for nothing. Of course, it would be better to learn to deal with it without having anxiety but this avoidance works well too. Where I can quietly read and write as I please.

A Visit from an Immigration Officer – 25th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Tensions rose as the visitor appeared
The worst could happen as I had feared
Anxious times as decisions neared
Until finally the air had been cleared

The happy officer seemed satisfied
That on the forms I hadn’t lied
All true, the information supplied
Hopefully, my visa won’t be denied

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the nice immigration officer that came to visit this morning. I remember him from last time. I think he knows my case is just routine and is very kind and understanding. He was only here for ten minutes.

Yesterday was my semi-regular write-off day. The low cycle of my possible bipolarity. I woke up in the night and couldn’t get back to sleep.. Not filled with any particularly anxious thoughts but just general brain wheels spinning.

When my alarm went off, I couldn’t get up and decided to stay home – sending a message to Champ and the students that I wouldn’t have a class but would set them work to do. This was semi-successful. 2/9 did well but 1/6 not so. An indication of maturity perhaps. It’s been a lesson for all of us.

And as I was dozing through most of yesterday, a call came at about 6 pm that the immigration officer would come at 10 am this morning, therefore meaning that I wouldn’t be able to come to school today until after they had been. Unfortunate timing but all good (so long as I still get paid).

So this morning he came and all was well – the same officer as last time – a soft friendly guy who seemed content just to be doing his job and being on his way. So, almost there with this new visa application, I felt some relief and scoffed some linguine, picked up a coffee and came to school.

The visa process is an annual ritual nightmare and it was getting me down. I’m starting to contemplate being in Australia again and considering what the future might hold. Yesterday I felt so uninspired and like giving up everything, but today I feel like I’m not done yet.

“I try to relax….but then again…..oh no!”

School Of Life – 4th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Even as a teacher, I am still a student of life
My own students teach me many things
Don’t take any learning for granted
Enjoy the satisfaction new knowledge brings

7th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 38

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the money I receive for my work. It helps us enjoy nice things when we would like.

Just looking back to this time last year I can see how happy I was with teaching at this school. Of course, it’s nothing to do with the school but to do with the students. They make it all worthwhile.

I saw that I was grateful to George for helping me get this job and it is only since then that I am aware of the differences between us. I rarely see him at school at the moment and haven’t talked to him for weeks, beyond hello and goodbye. I’m thinking I should at least make an effort to thank him again. It will be awkward but doable. It would make me feel good and perhaps do the same for him (not actually sure about that).

I had a really great experience with 2/9 this morning – the same kids I mentioned this time last year. We have been studying the story of the Eagle and the chickens, about the eagle who grows up with chickens and never gets to really achieve his potential, content just to be a chicken.

Many of the students answered the question about the moral of the story being that it is best to accept things and fit in. This took me a little by surprise and I had to explain about the different cultural thoughts around these things. As a teacher, I am still a student. I love that.

I would like to be able to explain to them more clearly about what I feel is the meaning of this story and encourage them to break free and fly higher. Awesome.