When did the heart harden? Turned to stone, dark and rough Too tough to beg pardon Too much no longer enough
The buzzing bees have built Wide walls to the castle No more red wine spilt The parts no longer a parcel
And so the keep is locked The key swallowed by a raven Flown far from the flocked To maintain the inner haven
Today I’m feeling:
Ok but not wow. Thinking that my drop in mood yesterday may be because of my reducing my sertraline. It was definitely the feeling I used to have when I couldn’t shake off minor slights.
I slept before 9pm last night and slept well but still not quite up to snuff yet. Let’s see how coffee does for me.
In classes and whilst occupied, I was feeling ok. Now that it is time to slow down, I can feel myself fading fast already.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
My grade 12 student, Men, who gave me information about doing translation for mobile games, which I passed on to Baipad.
The best thing about today was:
The fact that it takes me ages to walk around school these days, as everywhere I go, students stop me to talk to me. Finally, I feel accepted when I’m at school.
Why wasn’t it like this forty-five years ago? I obviously know the answer to this but, well, here we are.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
There were a few disruptions around the building that I was teaching in this afternoon and I had to quickly find a free classroom to move to for my final class. It was a close thing to keep the momentum going for them to study, because if it took too long, we all would’ve been frustrated and just given up for the afternoon!
As it was, we found one, though the projector didn’t work, so I made it a pretty simple and easy grammar lesson and we still managed to get out early.
Manow took this picture because I was replicating a picture that Fahmai painted of me.
Tired but ok. It was a struggle to get up but not too bad once done.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
Plenty of parking spaces at the airport this evening. I even managed to park next to the other car here tonight for the family.
The best thing about today was:
In my second class I played along with my naughty students instead of getting upset with them. We were just doing quizzes, so it was quite fun. I wasn’t in the mood for serious work either.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After a fun first class, I was sitting in the cafe and saw a message from Amy saying that she tried calling two times but the phone hung up on her. I never heard anything so I called her back and she seemed annoyed and distracted with her parents buzzing around in the background.
She asked me questions and then didn’t listen to my answers and so she asked them again.
Anyway, I will meet them at the airport in the early evening.
Then I got messages from Nut asking about Namsai’s phone, which I had taken from her in class and she swore badly at me. Nut’s messages were rude and direct (though I can forgive her, as it may just be her poor English).
These two things together, along with a sudden feeling of exhaustion, put me in a bad mood, though. I’m trying to think myself out of it now.
I got out of it by the time of my second class but when I got home, the tiredness overwhelmed me a little more and then problems with playing guitar made me grumpy again.
Now I just want to sleep and then hope to wake up tomorrow in a better state of mind.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I messaged Baipad last night about painting rocks and giving them away and this morning we looked around for some and she took three with her. A little later, she sent me photos of her painted rocks and who she gave them to.
I took this picture of my naughty students lazily doing my quizzes because I was going to use it to threaten them that I would show their homeroom teacher. BB, Namfon, Tulip and Baibua behind the chair. Khawhom jumped out of the way when she saw what I was doing. Ironically, they all blame me for being in trouble because their SchoolBright scores are so low but they have no answer when I ask them why I’m always reducing their scores! They do crack me up most of the time, though.
Good once I got moving and going. Exercise and hangs were a bit more difficult today as my arms are tired from doing this more often but hopefully it will settle down to strengthening everything.
With a long day ahead, I’m still feeling positive and on top of things but definitely looking forward to resting up at the weekend.
Health:
Physical: 8 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Ploughing through the day and continuing when I got home. Using energy is giving me motivation to draw on my reserves.
The best thing about today was:
A student that I hadn’t met before said, ‘Hi, Teacher Shaun’. I asked her who she was and we talked a little and she said ‘I like Teacher Shaun.’
I asked her why, and she said ‘I’m ใจดี๊’, meaning kind-hearted. As I’d never talked with her before, I assumed that she had heard this from other students.
Either way, it made me feel good.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my short break between classes today, I was hoping to enjoy some peace in the cafe but there was some meeting going on and I was relegated to an uncomfortable low table but I got on with a few things anyway. It was a bit rushed but it was good not to drop the energy levels and flake through the afternoon.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Amy is in a feisty, drunken mood and being a bit loud and dramatic. I’m doing my best to entertain her but the day is catching up with me and I just want to read and relax until I fall asleep.
Our cats were extremely scared and bothered by the fireworks for Loy Kratong last night. Amy let them both into the bedroom, which I knew was a bad idea but didn’t want to say anything.
Cap settled by my head, but Tigger was hiding under the lounge, and I got back to reading. After a while, I saw movement to my right, and Tigger had come out onto Amy’s bed. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sitting but pissing. I quickly got him off and pulled up the doona but it had also gone through to the sheet too.
I got them off the bed and into the washing machine and Amy complained that I wasn’t watching them whilst she got stuff prepared to sleep in the other room.
Art took this picture because the sunlight through the cafe window was giving a beautiful soft morning glow to Piti and me.
What version of me did I show you? Was the impression left in your mind The enigmatic or the sad and sulky? Which one would you prefer to find?
I was hiding, desperately Trying to be anything but myself To slip through a crack in the world Leaving an image of someone else
I cross each bridge as I burn it Wait impatiently for the credits to roll Each day takes a small part of me Once put together defines the whole
Inspired by a few paraphrased quotes within.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good after a slightly better sleep last night and waking up with a start to my alarm. Some tough exercise, as eating ice cream for the last three days has increased my weight more than I would like.
It’s weird Wednesday with just one 50-minute class today at 12.40, so lots of sitting around, thinking, reading and writing.
(Later) I let my class catch up with the work that I had asked them to do and started checking those who had finished. In a flash, it was over and done with an exclamation of ‘shit’ when I was told it was time to finish!
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
The old uncle at the 20 baht shop who let me change over the light bulbs for a different colour and to pay the difference.
He was a bit slow working out the difference to pay, but I let him do it with a calculator and a phone, hoping that he might make a mistake in my favour!
The best thing about today was:
Finishing off the little project of writing 52 mini poems – an idea that I started a couple of months ago.
Though some of them are just little throwaway ideas and ruminations, there are a few that I rate quite highly.
Something I learned today?
It was Mimi’s 16th birthday today. I found out when I entered class and saw a mangled half-eaten cake on the desk! She’s from my new grade 10 class and I haven’t really got to know these new students yet but she seems to be a happy and friendly kid and the work she did today was good.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I dropped by to see Baipad as she was throwing up yesterday and didn’t come to school. She wasn’t there today either but I felt certain that she was feeling better and just being lazy.
I got her to agree to come to school tomorrow and also continued to try to encourage her to do something nice for the boy that she likes.
I took this picture because it’s a tough life for this fat little cafe cat.
The swagger of the fisherman He’s dreaming big, nets full of fish An ocean filled with his thoughts Trawling towards his deepest wish
Eyes to the astronauts overhead What are they thinking as they fly? Break the big things down to the small Everyone, everywhere, just getting by
Inspired by a David Elikwu newsletter
Today I’m feeling:
Great. This is the first morning in a long, long time that I woke up without any aches! I have a little ache now after exercise but I am still quite amazed at feeling this good this morning.
(Later) The good feeling in my body persisted during the day, which made me pretty happy and motivated.
Health:
Physical: 8! Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Lucky bringing back snacks from his trip to Japan during the holiday and sharing them with all the teachers. Which reminds me, they’re still in my bag waiting to be eaten.
The best thing about today was:
The general, lazy feeling around school for most students who are not participating in the sports events. It’s relaxing but a little too relaxed. I can’t get my students into the flow of the semester and to knuckle down.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I still don’t have a new schedule yet, so I’m still down for 7 hours today, though thankfully, our classes are reduced to 50 minutes for the rest of this month, making things a bit easier. It’s always a little jarring transitioning in and out of this change and today I struggled a bit, either with getting things done in time, or erring the other way and not doing enough in the time. Luckily, it’s easy enough to jump onto some quiz sites and do a quick quiz, though.
Anyway, this afternoon I was due for the final three hours to be in building 8 but when I got there, the room was padlocked and only two students had arrived. I got a message saying that the other students were in a meeting for sports day but no indication of how long that would last. A few more students rolled up while I was contemplating whether to find another classroom or not. Of course, the students begged me for free time and eventually I agreed but on the condition that I would set them work to complete before our next class.
I went back to the teachers’ room and figured out a couple of tasks for them to do and in the process ended up making a whole bunch of other lessons that can be done at any time.
I also cancelled the last one-hour class of the day with my grade 12 English students. I know that they will be happy enough with that and doubted that they would attend anyway.
Something I learned today?
Potatoes have more chromosomes than humans — 48 compared to our 46.
I took these pictures of Program hard at work in my class today. I sent them to Kru Karn, his homeroom teacher, and we both laughed later when we remembered how we were saying that he is a little better behaved this semester.
A little better after coffee but this morning I didn’t want to get up and covered my head with a pillow to block the light and noise from Cap scratching at the door to be fed. I was slow to get up and felt like a zombie trudging around the house.
My eyes still ache and there is a weird feeling at the bottom of my throat. Whenever I tilt my head back, I’m automatically forced to cough. I want to feel normal again!
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
A little five-minute ride around the back of our house on the way back from coffee this morning.
Even though I know the roads well enough, they always look different each time I go there. Stuff grows so quickly and at the same time can be removed quickly too.
The best thing about today was:
A documentary about Rhodesia/Zimbabwe gave me some more information about the history there, after reading about it in the Decline and Fall of the British Empire.
The traveller who made the documentary also followed on into South Africa and it was interesting to note that it seemed to be safer in Zimbabwe, which I was a little surprised by.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I slept for three hours after lunch today. This was better than yesterday at least, when I slept for two hours before lunch.
Something I learned today?
Ipswich have their first point of the season after a one-all draw against Fulham yesterday.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
As I was riding around this morning, Amy called me to pick up some tomatoes. I was nowhere near the market by that time but I went back and spent ten baht!
I took this screenshot from a video sent to me on Friday morning, from three students who were off doing something and couldn’t come to class. All they said in the video was ‘We love you, teacher Shaun!’ Aww. This is Toey and Air.
*Sometimes I feel like I’m living with a stranger I’m talking to myself The branches hang down to the stream A tilt to somewhere else That I don’t know
Words are gathered and turned to stone Scratch and blow to see old bones I don’t know why
We keep it tethered, our world unfeathered We’re out of step, so don’t forget To keep your ear to the ground
Returning home to meet the stranger She’s talking to herself From scratch, she bakes such lovely cakes But words are somewhere else That I don’t know
We tilt until the room is feathered Or blow until the stone is gathered I don’t know why
I can see her avalanches turn into sharpened branches To break her bones, so don’t forget To keep your head to the ground
*Lifted from Three’s Swann Street as are the rhymes and rhythms. Submitted to No Theme Thursday (the two pictures) and The Sunday Whirl Wordle #669. This poem partially reflects on the time with my second wife, Kyoko and how, eventually, our cultural backgrounds couldn’t be overcome.
Today I’m feeling:
Not quite right. Slept early again and woke up a little later, skipping exercise.
I want to go to the hospital to get checked out and contemplating whether to do it this afternoon or in the morning.
Health:
Physical: 5 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to leave at lunchtime and come home for a nap and a restful evening.
I decided that I would go to the hospital tomorrow and take a day off but then Amy said I should use the health insurance coverage that I get through work, which means going to the hospital in the city. Then Jet messaged me for help with her accent for her play.
So I guess I’ll clock in in the morning and then see what they say at the hospital and decide then whether to go to school. I’d like to help Jet and I only have an afternoon class, so I could do it if I don’t feel too bad.
The best thing about today was:
Getting to my first class and finding that only half would be there as the others had to attend a meeting. It made for a much more intimate class with only twelve students and was very enjoyable.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
That half my class was missing today made me wonder how to proceed but I figured the best way was to teach the same lesson to the other half next week and let today’s students have free time, which they weren’t going to complain about.
As I was walking to my second class Iphone told me that their morning meeting was about events next week and that the school was closed! Huh!? Another student, Jee, confirmed it too.
When Kru Tang went by my class a little later, I asked her and she said that she had only just heard about it from another student as well!
I’m used to this by now. Anyway, Monday to Thursday, we are supposed to be teaching online but we all know that that isn’t going to happen!
Softly on the summer breeze, the satin dress Illuminates the room as she steps into the Light, gathered at her chest, the guests Knew not to question the apparent apparition Eyes greyed blue and deep, she will Never be yours to keep, but still…..
Broken by all the glamour and gold Left alone, to suffer the weight of eyes Under the hammer, bought and sold to Everyone, where each time she slowly dies
OK, though I fleetingly contemplated sleeping some more just because I was enjoying it so much but I was able to force myself up and exercise and feel pretty good for that.
My dreams were based on running around with my grade 8s after our class yesterday. The dreams were as enjoyable as the class.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Different teachers helping me to find rooms to teach in, as both my normal rooms were taken over today by students preparing plays to perform next week. Typically, I only found out by accident, by translating some Thai messages between teachers and realising that it affected me too.
It was all easily sorted and worked out in my favour in the end, too.
The best thing about today was:
Ending up teaching my afternoon class of grade 8s in what is called the Slope Room. It is basically a small theatre/lecture room and as the floor slopes….that’s how it got its name.
There was already another class of students in there but they were just taking advantage of the air conditioning and weren’t studying. It’s a big room, so I said that they could stay if they sat at the back quietly and as they were all glued to their phones anyway, it wasn’t a problem.
I gave my students a randomised online quiz based on the six previous reading texts I’d given them, which they should all have had written in their books, catching out those who didn’t bother writing or had left their books at home. I also told them that they had to keep retaking the quiz until they got 80% correct answers, and as the questions were randomised, it wasn’t so easy for them to just remember correct answers the next time they played.
Slowly, most of the more diligent students managed to complete the task, whilst others called me over to help them, and together we used their books and I led them through finding the answers in the text.
This was the best part of the exercise as the students slowly realised how they can help themselves in the future. I think that they also enjoyed being in a different environment from the usual stuffy classroom.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As described above, having to change classrooms at short notice, which could have been frustrating, turned out well enough and even pleasurable with the powerful aircon in the Slope Room.
Something I learned today?
A couple of days ago, Momo told me about a new online tool her class is using called EDSY, and today I tried to use it, but couldn’t find a way to create an account. Momo pointed me to the website, which in turn directed me to a LINE account, where I eventually found out that it is being used as a trial project between the school and EDSY.
Amazing that I find out these things from students and not from our school!
Also, Takky came over this evening and said that his department had been approached for an English camp by someone at the school. They were offering to pay just 6000 baht for two days, teaching 150 kids! I chuckled when he told me.
I took these pictures with Nudee’s phone as she had left it on the table when she went outside the room. I didn’t realise that it was hers and when she came back in, she didn’t look amused and left again. Some others pulled me over and said ‘Period. Period. Nudee’s got her period’, implying that she’s in a bad mood. But at the end of the class, she was laughing and happily sent me the pictures when I asked her. In the pictures are Techit, Auto and Aunwar.
Pretty good after sleeping well. A little bit of exercise again, where my body felt good immediately afterwards, though it was also telling me that it would be great to go back to sleep again. That will have to wait, though.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Karn encouraging her grade 8 students to commit to the assignment that I set and do so in their free time.
Most of them complied, and it was actually a fun, though slightly chaotic, afternoon.
The best thing about today was:
Starting some little Instagram videos of a little stupid idea I had. I got three done at random times today and have sent them to Jet to see if she can fancy them up a little before posting them online.
Also, the grade 8 classes that I talk about elsewhere here were fun too.
Something I learned today?
Two of my grade 8 students came to me during my afternoon class, claiming that they couldn’t do my assignment, of a three-minute conversation with another (unfamiliar) student, because they were introverted and too shy. Both their English is reasonable too.
I encouraged them to just try and do it and that afterwards, they would feel much better. Sure enough, they seemed quite pleased with themselves when they had finished.
There were others too, putting up some opposition to this task and I explained to everyone that now is a time to put their learning to use, instead of just filling in gap-fill forms or doing grammar quizzes.
It’s making me rethink what I want to do with these classes next. I learned a lot from it.
I took this picture from a video that I was trying to do with this student, Best. I don’t teach her, but she must know me through her friends, as she always wants to talk with me when she sees me. Today though, she couldn’t stop laughing when trying to make the video.
Not so bad. Amy woke up before my alarm and started looking at her phone and the dull light movements were enough to wake me too. I covered my head with another pillow but soon enough, my alarm went off.
I managed to motivate myself to do a little exercise, which got my blood moving, which was good.
Both my classes were fairly entertaining and fun, though the rowdy grade 8s were certainly noisy today, but as I gave them the speaking task they’ve been practising again, I wasn’t so bothered.
After class, I ended up stuck in the canteen talking with many, many students. I was kind of waiting for Jet to appear, as we had discussed her editing some Instagram videos for me and she said she would be around there at lunch time.
Eventually, I left though, back for another coffee and some reading and writing catch-up before heading home.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
A quick power nap from 4 til 5 that, if I hadn’t woken me from, I probably could’ve slept through until morning. I’m also grateful for Amy’s home cooking, which I haven’t had since Friday, as we’ve either been out or I’ve just made myself sandwiches instead.
The best thing about today was:
Hanging with the students at lunch time was a lot of fun, as I walked around and found new groups to chat with.
I went over to sit with Momo, Baifern, Pan and Namsai, and Momo always gets nervous in these situations because I’ve known her for a long time already. She told me that Pan really wanted to talk with me but that her English wasn’t good enough.
So I went and sat next to Pan and got her talking as much as she could. I told her that the only way to improve is to practice and to talk to me whenever she wants. I think she was happy that I was prepared to make the effort and I was happy that she tried her best too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’d been given a room to teach in for my grade 10s but found that it was being used today so we had to resort back to the library again, which wasn’t too bad in the end.
Something I learned today?
Momo and her friends told me about a new app that they are using to study English called Edsy. I’ll check it out.
Momo took this picture of me and Pan at lunchtime. All the younger tomboys love Pan.
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