A Few Syllables – 27th May 2024

All it takes is a word
A few syllables could start it all
Pick a pill to swallow
Which side of the fence to fall?

All of the grasses green
Yet muddied by the other
Pick a path to follow
Cling tight to your brother

All it takes is a word
A few syllables to end everything
They all rang so hollow
With the violence they bring

All it takes is a word
A few syllables to make peace
To calm the stormy weather
And hostilities to cease


Today I’m feeling:

A little slow still.  I felt really tired when I went to bed but then found that I couldn’t get to sleep and then when I woke up it felt like it must still be the middle of the night but it was already getting light.

I had a very dry mouth and was finding it difficult to breathe. I skipped exercise hoping to get an extra few minutes of sleep but I just ended up tossing and turning.

I was thinking about school and how Amy said that it was unfair that I was given extra hours to teach while Princess George could just walk away from classes that he doesn’t want to teach.

I was also thinking that maybe I’m investing too much time in my students and need to balance things better.  It does bring me great pleasure though and I felt happy to walk around this morning with many students, old and new, wanting to fist-bump and chat.

Today I’m grateful for:

That my first time with another new class of grade 12 students was pretty easy despite a poor standard of English for many students.

They were all excited when I asked them for ideas of something for me to teach them in English and chose things like ghosts, psychology, Naruto and NASA.  It got me up and running with many ideas which I can reuse again later for other classes.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching.  It was enjoyable and I feel like I’m pretty well on top of things though I know that I have a lot of planning ahead still.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was still wound up by the builder who responded to a Facebook post that Amy made questioning his lack of professionalism.  This was the only way that she has managed to get a response from him and he was trying to transfer his anger back to Amy.

He was somewhat successful with that but her mum and I calmed her down a little and we talked more about it when I got home so that we are both on the same page with the details.

I’m not sure if we will get any refund and I’m not banking on it but we’ll give it a try and see if he has any remorse for running away from his responsibility.

Something I learned today?

Something odd when talking with a grade 12 student called S*. She told me that her stepfather is from the Netherlands and he always speaks English with her and that is one reason that her English is reasonable and that she speaks straightforwardly and directly, which often upsets her Thai classmates.

But the odd thing was that she mentioned that her stepdad sometimes showers with her and dries her off.  I wasn’t sure if I misheard what she said and she was so blasé about it that perhaps she did think it’s normal and there’s nothing untoward about it.

It was definitely weird to hear that for me though.  I will try and get clarification from her some time though.

Oh, and Southampton beat Leeds to get promoted to the Premier League which is a little treat I enjoyed.  I’m happy for my old friends in Southampton and because Leeds are the team that my old grumpy workmate Robert supported.

I took this picture because my old students are always happy to see me.  I hope I can see some of them again in high school. Me, Tonaor, Namthip, Dena, Nicha, Mei, August, Namkhing and Fah.

Straying – 24th May 2024

Pic: Jon Tyson

Cat wild
On the wall
One eye open
Preying
An ear to the wind
Poised and small
A sniff to the spraying

Fight or flight?
Movement slight
Straying
Back arched tall
Hissing
Saying

Get out of town
Or chased on down
Rolled up into a ball
No longer playing

Picture prompt for WDYS # 239


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good considering that I was dead to the world until my alarm went off this morning.  Managed some exercise and a 5-minute (what could possibly be described as a) meditation.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding that Sydney Swans played yesterday against the Bulldogs and so I watched the Mini Match and happy to report that we pulled through for another win.  The Swans are currently well clear at the top but there’s still a ways to go.

I’m still annoyed that I can’t watch the full matches, especially this year, as we’re doing so well!

The best thing about today was:

In my final class of the day with my grade 8s I have what you might call another ‘rogue’ student.  She, Sugus, is a friend of Aida’s and has been coming to my class occasionally since last year but now she seems to come all the time.

She’s a quiet kid and doesn’t cause any problems for me but I told her that if she wants to stay then she has to do some work, to which she agreed.

Today’s class is an easy reading class and I asked Sugus to come and read for me and she did very well, better than some of my actual students!

So I talked with her some more about why she doesn’t go to her own class and if the teacher isn’t concerned about her.  She couldn’t quite describe why she doesn’t go except that she feels bad when she does.

I’m a bit suspicious that something untoward might have happened but I didn’t push it.

Anyway, I told her that she was welcome to stay in my class and she thanked me and said that my class is fun for her.  I was quite pleased about that.

It’s weird really.  There’s no pressure on her to perform and there’s no pressure on me to teach her.  With us both relaxed about it I think she will learn a lot!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

For my second class today, with the Hospitality grade 11s I suddenly found 12 extra students!  Without telling me, and without anyone telling them why they have put two different programs together so I’m now teaching students in the Japanese program too.  So much for my plans for this semester!  I guess I’ll jag everything in somehow.

Something I learned today?

Chatting with David he told me that George complained to Nancy that he doesn’t want to teach the new Integrated Program to the grade 10s and so, magically, he no longer is.  Now he only teaches grade 11 and 12.  What a princess!  

Last year he refused to teach grade 9 and now refuses grade 10.  Maybe time is running out for him.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

This evening I’m still helping my grade 11 students with their presentation homework and replying to their messages.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

As I think about it, much of the day was challenging (as described above) but somehow I seemed to take it in my stride.

Tonaor took this picture because as she likes to do sometimes when she sees me she says ‘selfie!’ and so I hand her my phone.

The Spectators – 23rd May 2024

The claws are out
Sharp and set to cut
Barbs fly, spat out
Promises remain nothing but

The worst of two worlds
Another political blunder
Spar at the Colosseum
A spectacle of wonder

Only one winner
All else is lost
The cogs keep on turning
For an endless cost

Submitted to Monday Poetry Prompt


Today I’m feeling:

Dog tired last night and still struggled to get to sleep but once I did I was gone! 

I woke up before my alarm but couldn’t get up when the alarm went off and reset to give an extra 20 minutes of dozing.

Not feeling too bad with my first coffee but have two busy days ahead.

Today I’m grateful for:

The pharmacist being available at Big C when I got there today.  Last week when I tried they told me that there would be no one there until 5pm.

The best thing about today was:

Bumping into my old grade 9 student Sheena as I was about to leave school.  I asked if she was happy now that I was no longer teaching her class and she said that everyone was complaining that they were missing me.

That was nice to hear and for sure, I connected with all those students really well but they drove me crazy at the time.  I hope that I have some good influence over them.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Some of the classrooms that I’m teaching in test my patience with various bits and pieces of equipment missing but I just have to take it easy and not get ruffled by it.  Everything can be overcome.

Something I learned today?

I watched an interesting interview with LA-based Chinese comedian Jiaoying Summers and it was great to see a strong woman taking control of her life and destiny against a lot of odds.

What part of my daily routine do I look forward to the most?

Most workdays I look forward to exercising in the morning. 

With my drive to try and write a poem or day (or more), I also look forward to spending time reading, thinking and writing. 

At the end of the day, I kinda look forward to writing this journal but some days are a struggle. With enough time I can usually answer all the questions but often I’m out of energy and need to go to bed.

I took this picture because I was kinda shocked to see a full moon tonight. I’ve been used to seeing the moon regularly when I go to close our gate and usually have some idea what stage it is at.

Down And Dirty – 16th May 2024

Romans once bathed here
Wiping blood from their beat brows
Spa after sparring
Solsbury Hill looks
Down River Avon Valley
Somerset steam rose
Conscious hearts beating
We ran through these stone warrens
Love in ancient times
Praying at the monastery
A different sacking was done

My first attempt at a Choka, inspired by The Skeptic’s Kaddish and submitted to dVerse’s Quadrille #201: Poems of Place

Fatman report

Today I’m feeling:

Good though a little nervous in the stomach. I think I have my head around how I’m going to do things in my classes. 

I can feel less enthusiasm in the air with everyone this morning as the reality of classes starts to hit.

I have a three-flight climb to my first class too and it was already an English summer 27 degrees at 7 am this morning.

One of the boy students was already smelling off by 9am!  And later in the day I saw David in his class of new grade 7s and the whole room stank of rank teenage sweat, like a changing room after five hours of football.

Today I’m grateful for:

Sometimes speaking up and sometimes keeping quiet.  I told the school that I didn’t want to teach the new Integrated Program until it was settled in and that I also didn’t want to teach the grade 9s this year and so it came to be.

So when I got new classes scattered around the school and more hours than the other teachers, I didn’t say anything and just accepted it.

My first class today was in a new (to me) building and on arrival I discovered that the internet cable and wifi don’t work which is a bit of a problem for the method that I teach, everything being stored on Google Drive.

I sent a message to Kru Mai that this was going to be a problem for the five classes I have in the building and he quickly scouted out other classrooms that I could use back in our usual building and voila – four out of five of the classes solved!

When I told Kru David about this he mentioned that sometimes it’s good to speak up and ask for some things and not just expect it.  He also mentioned that George was not happy that he has to teach the Integrated Program now.  He’s had it good for a long time but as soon as something is not to his taste he’s getting antsy.

The best thing about today was:

After my first two classes I managed to get back to House for a coffee refill and sat down to do some writing.

I noticed a pretty young lady studiously working on her iPad in the corner in amongst a lot of people coming and going – probably the busiest I’ve ever seen the cafe.  Some days I might be the only customer all the time I’m in there!

Later the lady got up and as she came to the counter, caught my eye and I thought I recognised her so gave a little smile and then when she smiled back I realised that it was Pear, who used to work there.  She has changed her style a lot but I could easily recognise her smile.

She was studying hard to pass a university entrance exam as she has taken a five-year gap year!  I could sense that she wanted to talk and indeed, she sat down and said that when it comes to English she could read and write easily but doesn’t have much opportunity for speaking.

Actually her listening and understanding is good too and when speaking she can find the words in her head most of the time but it is interrupting her flow.  I could feel that she is driving herself to improve so I stopped what I was doing and we chatted until it was time for me to go.

Something I learned today?

I learned bits and pieces about my new class of 41 grade 12 students.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

After I finished my classes I sent Pear a piece of text to practice reading for me so I could help her more with her speaking.  She replied quickly and I sent a couple more and I will help her when I have free time.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Motivating tired sweaty students at the end of the day was a challenge and I have three days where classes end at 4.30 pm but it’s looking more likely that I will have to end them all at 4 pm most of the time, which is fine by me!

When was the last time I felt misunderstood?

I can clearly remember thinking that I was being misunderstood by Amy about something that we were quarrelling about but I seem to put quarrels out of my mind (whilst subconsciously learning the lesson of the argument!) so that now I’ve forgotten what it was even about!

The Dragon Inside – 2nd May 2024

All your voices will spin their songs
Fighting the dragon inside
For money or for happiness
What do you need to survive?

Fighting the dragon inside
Does the universe respect your vision?
For the art or for the love
You must make your decision

Does the universe respect your vision?
Not until you can define
For truth or for understanding
Or spinning wheels and wasting time

Not until you can define
All your voices will spin their songs
Can you do all this tomorrow?
Have you put it where it belongs?

Inspired by this post at Universe Of Thinking


Today I’m feeling:

Tired after all the running around yesterday. Woke up to mountain-less white skies as the smoke descends.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s student turning up for her online class today at 1 pm forcing me out into my room where I played guitar for the first time this week.  It’s been so hot that I just haven’t bothered going out there even though the air con cools things down fairly quickly.

I caught up on a few other things while I was out there too, so it’s been a reasonably productive day.

The best thing about today was:

Writing an excellent poem for the first contest that I ever chose to enter on the AllPoetry site only to find that in between the time that I started writing and finishing half an hour later, the contest had closed!  I laughed at my bad luck but smiled at the quality of my work.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

(See above)

Something I learned today?

An undercover reporter has an alleged CIA agent admitting that they withheld information from President Trump that China shared all its data about the Covid outbreak in Wuhan.  So whilst Trump was busy blaming China for withholding that info it was, in fact, his own government.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I do this every day at Utopia or House, and sometimes at other cafes and restaurants, but I always take back my finished cups to the counter to save the staff a few seconds having to clean up after me.

Who do I want to spend more time with this month?

This one is easy. 

My students! I miss them a lot, their energy, excitement, drama, learning gives me inspiration.

I took this picture because these two little flowers had suddenly appeared on our cactus. They had closed up again by evening time.

Splinters – 17th April 2024

With the few words I write
There’s just a chance you might
Catch a splinter of me
To guess my personality

But to draw conclusions
From these brief allusions
Would only go to show
How little we both know

Yet every little simple rhyme
Pieced together over time
Forms a picture in your mind
Tell me what it is you find


Today I’m feeling:

Average.  Not good or bad, a little tired but not unenthusiastic.  A little bored and out of sync.  Missing routine and unable to manufacture my own.

(I got lazy for the rest of the day, savouring reading, eating and watching TV)

Today I’m grateful for:

(The idea that the cream puff guy usually sells at the market, which inspired me to get out of the house in search of him. He wasn’t there but I was still glad to get out.)

The best thing about today was:

(Being lazy and not caring!)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

(See above)

Something I learned today?

(At the time, the English thought that though Australians were strong they were not brave and cut out to be soldier material, during the fighting in Gallipoli during the First World War.  I found this odd as Australians still celebrate the bravery of the soldiers there. History can be shaped in any way necessary.)

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

(Continuing support for Anchan and Baipad, though I’m starting to feel a little helpless. They both must feel terrible.)

When do I feel most connected to others?

I feel weirdly connected with everyone that I know as if I saw them again after many years then nothing would have changed.  This might be a problem as obviously everything has changed in that time.

It’s one of the reasons that I don’t contact people often (I’m quite happy by myself) though I do recognise that others won’t feel the same way.

I’m most connected with my students these days, again understanding that they are not connected with me in the same way. Talking and playing with students is when I feel most connected.

Scientists Baffled – 11th April 2024

A girl with x-ray vision
A complex cityscape sketcher
A guy who doesn’t feel the cold
A contortionist rubber-boy stretcher

Everything can be explained
But that will never get clicks
Scientists baffled is the headline
From the bag of dirty media tricks

Inspired by yet another justified Brian Dunning rant at Skeptoid
17th May 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – Headline


Today I’m feeling:

A bit agitated, deflated and flat today.  Also, despite a drop in temperature (though not very significant) my body feels hotter than usual.

I got an hour or so of planning done this morning and perhaps having to do all this preparation is playing on my mind a little too.

I should also mention that last week I started taking a couple of multivitamins, a couple of resveratol and a couple of creatine supplements.

I am still cynical about their effectiveness in general but consider that I may be lacking certain things in my diet as I have been eating less for the last year or two.

So I’m not sure if it is because of the supplements or because it’s holiday time but I do feel like I have more energy and also feel less sleepy and tired.  I guess I’ll find out more about their effectiveness when I get back into the swing of school again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The odd job man, recommended by Amy’s friend Hangie, who was as good as his word and came on time, replaced our roof tile (though not sure how securely!) and propped up our fence (which is definitely a temporary thing) at the corner of the garden.  He only wanted 100 baht too.  We gave him 200.

The best thing about today was:

Nothing in particular.  My mood and energy picked up a little by the evening but not to the point of any real inspiration.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My mood was weird and unexplainable today.  It wasn’t anything out of control just a general lack.  Handled by soldiering on through the day.

Something I learned today?

My old student Kamboom will be in M4 (grade 10) next year (already!).  She got top grades last year – she’s a good student, for sure.  She wants to learn Japanese now.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

A lot of nice chats with a few of my grade 7 students just to check in to see how they are doing.

Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

Besides our love for each other, which goes beyond our minor niggles with having lived together for 15 years or more, the first thing to mention is the love we have for our cats.

As we commemorate little Kim’s passing one year ago this week, we stress and worry about old man Cappuccino.

All our cats have gone through phases of being healthy and happy with periods of sick and sorry.  Tigger seems to be in his healthy phase at the moment and has no complications from having HIV.  We know when he doesn’t feel well because he usually never refuses food, fat furry fuck that he is!

For some reason, he has started talking more and become more affectionate recently.  Maybe he knows that something is up with Cap and is trying to tell us?

Another thing that we have in common is our understanding of fidelity.

We both know that if we stray then that is the end of ‘us’.  That suits us both.

I personally don’t believe in fidelity for everyone, or perhaps even at all.  It doesn’t seem quite natural.  It is a construct of our society. But it is something that I believe in doing for myself because I grew up in this society.

The third thing that we have in common is our way of thinking.  I guess this follows on from the more specific issue of fidelity.

In our relationship, we are completely understanding of each other’s interests and passions and happily let each other indulge in them alone.  Where many couples insist on being together all the time, we have never subscribed to putting each other through the tortures of enduring things like my music or her love of dancing to English 90s pop!

Since I’ve stopped drinking so much this has made it a little difficult for us to go together for a night out though I do submit from time to time.

I took this picture because I’m hoping that some of these mangoes get to their full potential this year.  The whole tree is sprouting like never before. But a couple already got blown off by the storms over the last couple of nights.

Life Interrupted – 3rd April 2024

Let me interrupt your party
Lately, you’ve not felt so well
A niggle, an ache, a groan
A faint, a fall, a dizzy spell

Within your home I duplicate
It’s my standard procedure
Silently waiting ’til I’m ready
And enforce a shutdown seizure

I’ve come to stake a claim
For which you have no answer
I think you know my name
…

Submitted to FOWC with Fandango — Interrupt and NaPoMo.


Today I’m feeling:

Like time is running away too fast.  I should not waste what I have been given.  But is any of it worthwhile?  Well, it has to be.  I convince myself.

Today I’m grateful for:

The man at the bottle shop who put the tray of soda water onto the back seat of the truck for me.

The best thing about today was:

Taking Baipad and her neighbour Butter (another one, a boy this time, though quite effeminate) up to the University to teach them to ride a motorbike.  

Baipad struggled but Butter picked it up quickly.  It was only after talking with them both a little more I discovered that Butter had learned how to ride a pushbike but Baipad never did.  Butter still has a bike so I told Baipad to practice on that as soon as possible.  Better she falls off that than a motorbike.  

After a few more goes Baipad improved every time but she needs to practice more to get her balance worked out.

Something I learned today?

The current Zionist-enforced famine in Gaza is the highest number of people ever recorded as facing catastrophic hunger.  Worse than Darfur, Somalia and Yemen.  

Israel teaching the world how to genocide.  The irony?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I fixed the hose with the new connector that Amy picked up.  Works perfectly again.

Teaching riding a motorbike to a couple of 15-year-olds.

What’s one thing I can simplify?

I have simplified a lot over the last few years.  As my main focus now is teaching I think that I could simplify my classes for my students, though more importantly for myself.  

Sometimes I overestimate the ability of my students and with the usual disparity of skill levels in a single classroom it is a delicate balance to try and keep everyone happy.

I took this picture because one day these kids will look back and remember when they didn’t know how to ride a bike.

No Hope – 31st March 2024

A lottery ticket’s luck
To a loser’s life will suck
Muddling on through the muck
Hope is a waste of energy

Waiting for a winning hand
To cross the line in the sand
If it doesn’t go as planned…..
Hope is just poor expectation

These tragedies will never fail
To inspire us to rail
Against them, tooth and nail
Hope is a waste of time

Don’t just hope for the best
Without committing to the test
There is never a second’s rest
For the heroes and their inspiration

Submitted to Ovi Challenge – Hope


Today I’m feeling:

Much improved.  Almost normal even!  Is it a psychological trait of mine?  A mental quirk?  Does my brain make me feel ill when there are things that I’m supposed to do that I really can’t be fucked to do? 

And now, Sunday – usually the day before going back to work (which I love when there are students at school and detest when there aren’t and we are there just because we are supposed to be) but tomorrow is the first day of the holiday.  Has circumstance suddenly tricked me into feeling well?

It’s also weird to be annoyed at having five weeks holiday this year, a week more than last year, and this is because it is the worst time of year here for air pollution and five weeks in October would be so much more preferable.  But like I say it’s weird to be bothered about having extra holiday time!

Today I’m grateful for:

Uncle Nit next door who is helping us sort out some extra work that we need to connect up our drainage to the new drains being added under the widened road.  

Uncle also told us that he’s never seen anything come out of our drain so I’m not exactly sure where our wastewater even goes.

The best thing about today was:

Getting this message from one of my grade 10 students Miwkey:

I am impressed and enjoy learning in the teacher’s lesson. Since I studied with foreign teachers, I have never met a teacher like you. I’ve only encountered foreign teachers who use their emotions towards their students while not paying attention to the lessons they teach in the classroom.

I kind of understand what she means – I think there are many teachers who don’t and sometimes can’t actually assist with explaining some things and just tell the students that they are stupid and should figure it out for themselves. Sigh.

I do also ask them to figure things out for themselves but I’m going to guide them with effective methods that they can remember and reuse.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst at Utopia Amy called me to pick up some veggies at the market. When I got back she saw them and exclaimed ‘Noooo, not that one! Go back now!’

Luckily I was in a good mood and quickly went back and got the correct ones.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

More encouragement for students via LINE.

What word or phrase sums up this month?

Tired would pretty much be it. Is it that I’m tired after this busy school year? Because I invest so much of myself into it emotionally? It’s not really been that busy since Christmas.

Perhaps it’s a combination of that and missing the kids, the heat and air pollution and not really having any plans to go anywhere. 

But I did feel better today at least.

Amy took this picture because she wanted to show off her tamarind eggs. Unfortunately, she got a crazy teacher in the shot too!

Where’s Your Courage? – 28th March 2024

“The little things are the big things.”

Courage demands bravery in this very moment
Of heroic action.

And so happiness is possible,
Living an ordinary life
In an extraordinary way

Text is borrowed and arranged from this post at The Stoa Letter and the form (Cherita) is inspired by this post at the Skeptic’s Kaddish and the title is from the Minutemen.


Today I’m feeling:

Super tired again.  Yesterday I managed to resist an afternoon nap and I got to sleep OK, until Cap kept crying to go in and out of the bedroom and then to be fed.  Happy to know that he has his appetite but I just want to sleep more!

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy and her family deciding to go for a fish lunch out in the rice fields.  It was good to do something different though it was funny that they decided on the restaurant that Bruno and I went and tried as we were riding by a year or two ago.

Also to Kru Karn who offered me her shelf space in the teacher’s room to keep my things.  I’ll do that for now but may move it to somewhere more suitable later.

The best thing about today was:

Reading more about the British Empire in Africa.  It was interesting to read that there were people who abhorred the colonial treatment of other human beings at the time.  Interesting in that nothing much has changed, sadly.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t been able to do any more lesson planning as I haven’t been able to get more information from Kru Mai about my classes yet.  It’s a little frustrating as it is what we are supposed to be doing this week and now it means I will have to do more in the actual holiday time.

When I went to school just before lunch I found lots of people cleaning out the office space for Kru Puu who will stay in there in future.  Unfortunately, this means moving my stuff out from there and also not being able to use it for one-to-one speaking exercises anymore.  A lot of student’s work that I was keeping to look at later was also missing, presumably thrown out. Oh well. Nothing stays the same.

Something I learned today?

I just got sent a video by Noey. It was of me riding the wrong way at the traffic lights (to save time) as I was out getting a tub of ice cream at the 7-11.  She must have been on her bike at the traffic lights going in the other direction.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged a few more students today and had little conversations of encouragement with them.

I took this picture because this was the view from our restaurant table at lunch time.