Showed my buds, I’m one of them When they watched me stick it in I bring freedom with a gun And I’m responsible for no one
We three, prod and poking Watching the sunset paradise Sipping dry martinis of tears Laughing at a 12-year-old’s fears
We three, the seventy per cent Paid us for our duty A dividing line, a locked gate Allows us to rob and rape
Watch again as I stick it in We’re bonding over this flesh This little girl, powerless in pain Coerced to let the gang remain
After reading about the 1995 gang rape of a 12-year-old girl by three US soldiers in Okinawa.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good again, though my body is aching from all the work I’ve been putting it through.
I tried to sleep longer but my brain was already awake, so I got up and set Amy’s sheets to wash while I came out for coffee.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The sweet Chinese milk drink that was at the Mala hotpot shop where we had lunch today. It’s delicious, but sadly, it must be full of sugar. It’s one of the best solutions for a chilli-burnt palate.
The best thing about today was:
Nothing in particular stands out today – it’s been a great day all round with me doing all the usual things I like as well as a bit of running around with Amy, who kindly paid for our spicy lunch and a strawberry and cream croissant for dessert.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In a turn of events, a couple of my students are hassling me to check their homework! It’s usually me hassling them to submit it!
Something I learned today?
I’ve been practising one song in particular in Yousician for perhaps a year already and it has been a slog. I made a bit of progress about 8 weeks ago and it is only now that I can feel a little more progress again.
I learned lots of semi-forgettable information today but this achievement stood out a little for me whilst I was playing guitar. I was quite pleased with myself.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Some of my grade 9 students have interviews today for their programs next year, so I sent them some good luck messages.
Amy took this picture because Tigger was enjoying some daytime grass rolling before the stress of the nighttime festivities this weekend.Fatman report
Great with an underlying tiredness that isn’t really bothering me.
I got up and got going, enjoyed a couple of simple classes where I had time to interact a bit more with some of the poorer students.
Got home by 2 pm and straight into my room sorting more comic files and a bash around on guitar. With practising a little bit more this week, I can feel some improvement. The only downside is that with the dead hangs that I’ve been doing, my fingers aren’t quite moving so freely. Hopefully they will as they get used to be used.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Mai helping me by switching one of my Friday classes to Wednesday so that I have more to do on Wednesday and fewer hours to teach on Friday.
The best thing about today was:
No one thing in particular. It was a good day all round. I have a suspicion that I will be very tired and catching up on rest on Saturday, though.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing stands out here today. Everything went well enough.
Something I learned today?
In my classes, I notice subtle changes in relationships and today I talked with Wipping in the morning, who is fed up with some of the nonsense that goes on with her friend group. She separated herself a little to concentrate on studying, and I talked with her a little about how she is probably a bit more mature than her friends, but that they will catch up one day and she should hang in there.
Later, Miyor arrived with a different friend group than usual and she told me later that she and Khaofang had a falling out over nothing much. Those two are always clashing over something, though and I wonder if things will be back to normal again next week.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I messaged Kru Jern about our student Nomsen, as she always complains about a headache and wanting to sleep. She also has lots of sores on her arms and she says it is because she is itchy.
I asked Kru Jern to check in with her because whatever issues Nomsen is having, it is affecting her ability to concentrate in class. She’s a good kid and I like her and want to give her all the opportunities that I can whilst she is my student.
I took this picture because when I got home, Tigger was here chattering away. I’m not sure what he was talking about. There was nothing obvious outside the window.
A little bit of everything. I could not force myself up with my alarm this morning. I felt a dark ache around my nose, like having a cold but with no other symptoms. Maybe it’s just a covid hangover. I’m still coughing up mucus from my chest but it’s not clearing at all.
I slept for an extra 30 minutes before getting up and slowly started to wind up for the day. And once I was going, I was fine.
My first two classes with grade 11s were both easy and enjoyable. A quick dash out for another coffee and back for cat-herding my grade 8s, who still managed to make me laugh.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Yoghurt being in stock at Makro and when I arrived there, I was directed to a parking space that was undercover from the rain. Perfect.
The best thing about today was:
…there’s not one thing that stands out in particular. My time at school was very enjoyable all around.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy told me that it had been raining at home all day and it came to school in the afternoon with torrential downpours.
When I got home, Amy wanted to go down to the bridge at the end of our Soi where she could see people gathering. It was already flooding on the other side of the bridge and runoff water spilt into the rice field. If the rice field fills, then our houses are next.
It’s stopped raining here but still falling up in the mountains and all that water will be heading down here at some point.
Amy is panicking a little as she sees pictures and stories online of animals and pets being drowned in floods in various parts of the country. I’m not too worried just yet.
Something I learned today?
As Nomsen was lying on the floor to do her work, she accidentally showed off a tattoo across her chest. I asked her about it, and she said that she has six tattoos already! She’s only 13 years old.
She’s not the best student, but she doesn’t seem to be a stereotypically ‘bad’ girl either.
I told her that in Western countries, you must be 18 to get a tattoo (not that that stops everyone, of course).
Review your acts, Good and bad.
At the halfway point of the year, and halfway point of the three years of junior high for my grade 8s, I’m starting to see who will soon give up and not be able to go further.
Somehow, these kids are the most fun to interact with and I will still try to keep pushing them, even just to try and fail but never give up.
I took this picture because it is unusual for Tigger to lie down here and he quickly made himself comfortable.
Tired and sleepy. I must’ve been woken by the gardeners this morning, though I didn’t even realise until I heard shouts of ‘nong Am’ and ‘loong’ outside whilst I was taking a shower. Coffee got me going a bit and I managed to avoid watching TV until lunchtime.
Around that time, though, Baipad messaged saying that her cat had turned up after 4 days and didn’t look good and asked if I would take her to the vet. I had to choose whether to help her or not, knowing that I would have to pay, as her mum refuses to take their pets to the vet (I’m assuming it’s a financial decision on her part). And I’m really short of money right now too.
I cracked when she wrote that ‘otherwise I’ll just have to let her go’. Her cat, Snow, was unable to move and felt very cold. She really looked like she might go at any minute. Baipad was predictably in tears. Anyway, the kids got in the car and we drove down to the vet near the hospital.
They said that she had feline distemper and only a 10% chance. We talked about options, and they said they wanted to put her on saline and give her some medicine and to stay there for a few hours. I agreed and told Baipad that they could figure out what to do after that. I dropped them home after paying a 500 baht deposit and told her to call me to take them back later.
Around 4pm, she messaged me again and said that her mum would go pick up the cat and a little later said that she was home again and was improving with a 50-60% chance of making it.
I was happy to hear that but also found out that her mum had to pay another 800 baht. I told Baipad that she should start thinking of things that she can do to pay her mum back.
Today I’m grateful for:
The vet nearby being open today. As it is a special holiday this weekend, I wasn’t sure that it would be.
The best thing about today was:
I played guitar for a couple of hours and got in touch with Max and Dave about them possibly sending over some tenzenmen stock for distro over there. Hopefully, that will help get some stuff out of my room.
We also had a long, big rain which flooded our lawn for the first time this year.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Due to my lack of money I’m not able to pay the gardener and had to ask Amy to transfer me the money to do it. I’ll have to pay her back next month.
Something I learned today?
I learned about the colonial city of Aden in Yemen and a little about the retreat of the British Empire from there. I’d not heard of it before but searching online it looks like a very interesting place.
I took this picture because Tigger was very much enjoying rolling in his cardboard tray whilst the rain poured outside.
Lazy to get up but I’m enjoying the ache in my body from exercise. I’m already reminiscing about the lost time of this holiday despite actually being more productive than last year. I’ve got into the groove of taking it easy and am now feeling anxious about getting busy again in the next couple of weeks. Though I know well that I can deal with it easily enough.
Today I’m grateful for:
A brief small storm at around 7pm that whilst not hanging around for long meant a drop in temperature that even allowed us to turn the aircon off for a while!
The best thing about today was:
Tigger coming for cuddles about 7 or 8 times. He’s getting more affectionate with his age.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I didn’t get a chance to read more of my book today as I ended up busy with other things. I did get some comic reading in and a chapter from another book that I delve into every now and then.
Something I learned today?
A US senator was complaining that a bag of steel brackets needed for weaponry was costing 90,000 dollars. A Chinese seller responded offering to sell the same thing for 8 dollars! And the reality is that US Defence spending from Chinese sources has quadrupled over the last few years. So the US military is becoming dependent on parts for war with China that are….made in China!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Anchan a little more money so that she can get back to Chiang Rai as she is stuck in a village outside Chiang Mai at the moment.
I helped Amy moving around some furniture on the terrace as she wanted to change it up. It looks good and change is good.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Despite the last two days of not enjoying playing guitar I picked it up again for about 20 minutes and was a little happier with my ability.
What are my thoughts on growing older?
In the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed the wisdom that age has brought me but recently, with the feeling of time disappearing too quickly, I’m pining for the days of boredom I used to endure as a teenager.
Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing? I know it’s just the way of looking at it. Perhaps I am bored now but don’t really know it?
It can’t be helped to wonder about being able to live your life over again but now I have to take a positive attitude with me with what remains.
I took this picture yesterday and along with other garden pictures sent them to Sharon and Rob.
It’s still early but I think I feel a little more motivated than yesterday. I’m lesson planning already and that’s going well, so it’s a good start.
I think I need to be busy, doing stuff, to keep myself occupied. If I get lazy and don’t move my brain and body I start to atrophy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The poetry folks who post prompts and ideas that inspire me to write. I don’t know how many other people might think that I write quite well but I write for myself and when I look back at things that I’ve written I often feel proud and impressed.
I started a free poetry course at one site and struggled with the first assignment which was to write about yourself. It should be easy, most of my poetry is about myself but when asked specifically to do it, where do you start?
Oddly enough, I ended up writing a poem today that was written for four different prompts but ended up being about myself almost directly and I will use it as a part of what I submit.
The best thing about today was:
Getting enough lesson plans done to feel comfortable that I know what I’m doing. I can see the way forward to having enough done for the semester and working out what is needed for the rest of the year too.
Let’s hope that the students reach my expectations of what I have planned for them; otherwise I will have to do some quick revisions.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve been happy to get a lot done today but have also felt a little annoyed at times, though not acted on, just in my head, by little things. It was when I was watching TV, though, that I really noticed bad tinnitus in my left ear and it’s still bothering me now.
I’m not sure exactly what has brought this on. I did play guitar for about 20 minutes but it wasn’t at a volume as excessive as I sometimes play. Usually, the ear ringing comes and goes but it seems to be hanging around today.
Something I learned today?
Utopia will only open in the morning this weekend as they will all go and celebrate Songkran in the city in the afternoons.
A couple of days ago, I learned that Nick at Daytripper will leave for Australia, where he’s hoping to work as a barista in Sydney. With him going, Art decided to close the shop completely as he is too busy to keep it going.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As I mentioned above I did get internally annoyed many times today. However, biting my teeth through all that I did everything that Amy asked of me, particularly when she ran in from the garden with her skin boiling up in an allergic reaction to something. I got her ice, rubbed on lotions and creams, and did this and that.
She’s disappointed that she is allergic to something (probably the hairy worms), as when the temperature is good, she enjoys pottering about out there.
I took this picture because Fat Tig was taking a break, as was I.
A bit agitated, deflated and flat today. Also, despite a drop in temperature (though not very significant) my body feels hotter than usual.
I got an hour or so of planning done this morning and perhaps having to do all this preparation is playing on my mind a little too.
I should also mention that last week I started taking a couple of multivitamins, a couple of resveratol and a couple of creatine supplements.
I am still cynical about their effectiveness in general but consider that I may be lacking certain things in my diet as I have been eating less for the last year or two.
So I’m not sure if it is because of the supplements or because it’s holiday time but I do feel like I have more energy and also feel less sleepy and tired. I guess I’ll find out more about their effectiveness when I get back into the swing of school again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The odd job man, recommended by Amy’s friend Hangie, who was as good as his word and came on time, replaced our roof tile (though not sure how securely!) and propped up our fence (which is definitely a temporary thing) at the corner of the garden. He only wanted 100 baht too. We gave him 200.
The best thing about today was:
Nothing in particular. My mood and energy picked up a little by the evening but not to the point of any real inspiration.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My mood was weird and unexplainable today. It wasn’t anything out of control just a general lack. Handled by soldiering on through the day.
Something I learned today?
My old student Kamboom will be in M4 (grade 10) next year (already!). She got top grades last year – she’s a good student, for sure. She wants to learn Japanese now.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
A lot of nice chats with a few of my grade 7 students just to check in to see how they are doing.
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Besides our love for each other, which goes beyond our minor niggles with having lived together for 15 years or more, the first thing to mention is the love we have for our cats.
As we commemorate little Kim’s passing one year ago this week, we stress and worry about old man Cappuccino.
All our cats have gone through phases of being healthy and happy with periods of sick and sorry. Tigger seems to be in his healthy phase at the moment and has no complications from having HIV. We know when he doesn’t feel well because he usually never refuses food, fat furry fuck that he is!
For some reason, he has started talking more and become more affectionate recently. Maybe he knows that something is up with Cap and is trying to tell us?
Another thing that we have in common is our understanding of fidelity.
We both know that if we stray then that is the end of ‘us’. That suits us both.
I personally don’t believe in fidelity for everyone, or perhaps even at all. It doesn’t seem quite natural. It is a construct of our society. But it is something that I believe in doing for myself because I grew up in this society.
The third thing that we have in common is our way of thinking. I guess this follows on from the more specific issue of fidelity.
In our relationship, we are completely understanding of each other’s interests and passions and happily let each other indulge in them alone. Where many couples insist on being together all the time, we have never subscribed to putting each other through the tortures of enduring things like my music or her love of dancing to English 90s pop!
Since I’ve stopped drinking so much this has made it a little difficult for us to go together for a night out though I do submit from time to time.
I took this picture because I’m hoping that some of these mangoes get to their full potential this year. The whole tree is sprouting like never before. But a couple already got blown off by the storms over the last couple of nights.
Pretty flat and tired. Less dizzy than yesterday and my brain seems to be functioning reasonably well but I’m lacking energy and motivation.
Today I’m grateful for:
Two awesome coffees this morning where Nick was manning Utopia in Art and Noey’s absence.
The best thing about today was:
Watching the Swans beat Collingwood at the MCG (played on Friday) cheered me up, followed by watching the highlights of Ipswich beating Sheffield Wednesday 6-0.
As I was watching the AFL and thinking about how long I have followed certain sports teams and seeing how young they are, I was reminded of the time when I was the same age as the players and thinking I could’ve done that and that is 35 years ago now. Players have come and gone but the team maintains. How long will sports last into the future?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m not feeling particularly hungry today so I only ate some snacks but did finish off the chocolate almonds.
Something I learned today?
In the UK, the Tories have let slip their true intentions for Gaza: they want Israel’s genocide to continue for as long as possible and they are worried about peace because the genocide is hurting Labour in the polls.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I did so little today and of no real consequence but I did accidentally trap Tigger’s tail in the door and he was understandably upset. I hope he’s ok. I saw him outside later but wasn’t able to check.
Pretty positive though my shoulder is giving me some gip. Something isn’t right in there and I can’t stretch or roll it out. I’ve done very little arm exercising for the last couple of months and may just try and push through the pain to get back to it.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy and everything she does to make our house a home. I don’t want to take her for granted.
The best thing about today was:
My grade 10s not turning up for class allowing me time to organise another classes’ worksheets, staple them together and gift them back to the students. I felt good doing that, even if they just throw their work away. At least I made the effort to present their work back to them at the end of the semester.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I lost my cool with Amy when she got overexuberant whilst drunk. She was in a good mood and playful but I was tired and eating and when I didn’t know what she was doing as she tried to put her fingers in my mouth I pushed her arm away. Unfortunately that then set her off and blew up into a fight. Now we are both in a bad mood.
I will try to make her feel better but also just feel like going to bed and sleeping already. I don’t have much patience for drunken antics these days, I’m old and tired when it comes to that. It doesn’t fill me with excitement anymore.
Something I learned today?
2024 marks a special year for cicadas in the USA. It is the first time since 1803 that two specific broods of cicadas (one that emerges every 13 years, and one that emerges every 17) should be emerging together. This co-emergence won’t happen again for another 221 years.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My vile deed was pushing Amy’s arm away and initiating a tiff. I should have been (even) more patient or be more assertive in a different manner.
I bought some cream chup-a-chups to give to my grade 9 students for their graduation ceremony tomorrow.
I took this picture because I got home to melting cats (again!)
I’m running at the edge of their world Pushed away and pulled back again I don’t want to fall off the fence And find myself having to explain
They’re criticising something they can’t understand Never taking the time to lend a listening ear On the fence, there’s air to breathe Down below so clouded with fear
I’m living on the edge of their town Itching to break free of the shackles My feet only touch the ground to run The touch paper lighted crackles
And I won’t be shot down I won’t be pulled apart There’s no compromise At the edge of my heart
Inspired by the Stiff Little Fingers song ‘At The Edge’ from which each line of the chorus was taken as the first line of each stanza
And I’m running at the edge of their world They’re criticising something they just can’t understand Living on the edge of their town And I won’t be shot down
Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and happy. The early birds crawing woke me up before my alarm, along with waking Tigger who then starting crawing too. I slept pretty well otherwise and got back into exercise on this chilly morning. The evening temperatures are perfect but by early morning it’s still cold and then during the day we’re hitting 35 degrees or so.
Today I’m grateful for:
There being yet another event this morning and being able to accommodate the kids wishes to go to it instead of studying. To achieve that I set them a minor task of taking a photo at the event and describing it to me. After sticking around for a few minutes I was able to duck out for coffee and keep up with the classes work as the submitted it to me online.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling good with the poems I was inspired to write today and clearing out some of the growing number of email prompts that I’ve been receiving. I’ve gotten right into this little circle of writers and whilst I don’t enjoy much of what I read I can appreciate the time and effort that they are putting into it and occasionally something does grab my attention that hits the mark.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The morning event rolled over into the afternoon and so for the second week running my grade 10s were busy and only a few were in the classroom when I got there. Well, that’s fine. I’m not sure if I will get to teach them again this semester. So with even more free time I took the opportunity to wander around the school and talk and play with whoever I found (which was almost everyone!)
Something I learned today?
The last letter added to the English alphabet was ‘J’. Before that, the letter ‘i’ was used for both the ‘i’ and ‘j’ sounds.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I left school at around 3pm and went to Big C and whilst there I suddenly heard ‘Teacher!’ It was Baibua and Khawhom. They looked a little sheepish but also laughing at seeing me shopping. I asked them what they were doing and they indicated that they were going to the movies. But wait a minute! Why aren’t they at school? They said there was nothing to do. Well, that is true. I know and they know it.
With my grade 10 class not showing up I went to help Kru Ren again and offered my help to the different groups of students. I was a little disappointed with Baipad because it turned out that she hadn’t done any work for class for the whole semester. Jan and Apple had done some but not finished it. I asked them why they weren’t doing it now and they just offered up excuses. Sigh. I told Baipad that I can help her catch up this evening if she wants me to but haven’t heard anything from her yet.
David hasn’t been at school for the last three days so I sent him a message asking if he was ok.
What tasks do I often avoid?
I don’t think there’s any task that I avoid completely but I have a different threshold of tolerance to certain things to Amy so in that sense I avoid mopping the floors or cleaning the toilets but if she wasn’t here I would do those things but only when I found it necessary.
Asking Amy what tasks I often avoid might provide a clearer answer.
I took this picture because I wanted to show my students an example of what they were required to do for class (take a picture connected with the event and write a sentence about it). I was happy that almost all of them completed this simple task. I thought this student picture was quite nice and as I took the picture the student who made it was there and his friends were all in awe!
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