Tag: TLJ

Thank you – 11th January 1999

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

Thank you so much for talking to me yesterday – I was feeling pretty weird after talking to you in the morning (cos you were in such a foul mood!) and I did feel alone again. I really really love talking to you babe – I don’t want to lose that (you know I don’t want to lose you at all). Anyway – I look forward to talking to you again – as always, as ever.
Your friend

Glad to see you again – 9th January 1999

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

Hey, well it sure was good to see you again you know. I missed you so much and was frustrating me, you being at home…..blah blah. Anyway, I apologise for keeping you late last night. It wasn’t my wish for you to stay so late but you did come round kinda late too and we had a lot to talk about. I’m still uncertain about what is happening with us but I am happy that you still want to be my best friend and that we can have fun and maybe fool around too – like kids or something. I really don’t wanna scare you or frighten you so I’ll back off a bit in that respect OK. If I know that you want to be with me that’s enough you know – that’s what I meant by wanting to know what you want. Well, I’ll speak to you soon I hope

I just wanted to share – 7th January 1999

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

Well, this is pretty hard to write – it’s hard to think about us while I’m at work because it gets me sad and I don’t want to be sad. I just wanted to share my time with someone who dug me like you dug me. To be able to laugh and be happy with you, have fun with you. I guess it’s not fun for you anymore. It really upset me when you said last year was the worst year of your life. I hope this year is better for you. The way things have gone upsets me greatly – I believed in us – I trusted you…..
I’ll talk to you soon – I can’t really write anymore now.

20th Oct 2024 – Whilst TLJ was away in Taiwan for a few weeks I guessed she was reassessing our relationship and at this time had told me that she didn’t want it to continue.

Honey Pie – 4th January 1999

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

Wonder how you’re feeling now. Nearly home. You’re probably over Queensland somewhere. Asleep. I’m pretty happy today. I feel a bit fitter. I’ve been working out a little, just doing sit-ups and push-ups and walking a lot. Gonna go and put a deposit on a bike at lunchtime too – put it on layby. Can’t wait to look into your eyes again and see the reflections of happiness that you have had over the last few weeks.

*Commitment – no! – 3rd January 1999

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

Babe – was good to talk to you a bit more on the weekend. Makes me feel good. I hope your throat gets better and that you got to sleep some on the plane. Bet it was emotional saying goodbye to your new friends. Anyway, in my last email, I talked about commitment but that’s not really what I meant. I think what I would like from you is to know that this is what you WANT. I don’t know – it’s all confusing to me now. I need to see you and talk to you I suppose. You make me shake……..

*Long walk – 1st January 1999

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

I went for a walk yesterday after work – down in the National Park – you remember where we went past Whale Rock – well I jogged to about as far as we went – ‘member we went up to that lookout – and then kept going and going until there’s a cycle track that goes up to the end of Vimiera Road – I cut off the track there and went into the bush following some animal tracks and back up from the creek – I ended up at the back of some houses and had to fight pretty hard through some thick bush for a while – woulda looked pretty crazy – I got cut up on the arm a bit too – and I’m dead knackered after that too – at least it was a little easier to get to sleep last night – but still damned hot and sticky.

I’m still thinking of you a lot and that keeps me awake too. I wonder what will happen to us when you return and I go through all the bad things that could happen – by bad I mean like we split up or something – I don’t know why I have these doubts. I wonder if you would prefer to be without me – if life would be easier for you that way. I don’t know how I would go if we split – it would be very sad for me. I know I would want to be friends with you but know that would be hard initially too. Anyway, you see, why am I thinking these things….why am I in doubt? I think because I need to hear some reassurance from you – it’s been hard to not be able to talk to you every day like we normally do.

Christmas has been a non-event for me too. I was looking forward to having some time to myself while you were away but now I know that I need people to keep me occupied (that sounds pretty bad put like that!) to divert my attention from my introverted self. I used to be very extroverted you know – what happened? I don’t know. It’s weird. where did all this self-doubt come from?

Babe, this has just been another get it off my chest session – trying to figure things out. Still haven’t got anywhere! Anyway, I hope that when you are reading this that you are close enough to me to come and give me a supportive hug and kiss and say something like “I understand’ – even if you don’t!!
Have you seen Jackie Chan yet?

*Moonlight Cinema – 31st December 1998

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

Babe
Can you take me to the Moonlight Cinema one day please please pretty please! Are you on a plane now or what I wonder? It must be fairly exciting to be in HK for NYE. I bet it’s completely fuckin mad! Don’t get lost in the crush and crowds will ya! Wish I could be there with you. I bet you’ve become great friends with a few people on this trip? Can’t wait to hear all about it.