How long have you been watching, knowing all the truths? Allowing the story to unfold before deciding on intervention Blacking out the sunlight so we make no foolish moves The most pleasant form of submission, freedom from intention
A curious utopia makes idle minds become soon busy Unable to trust what we cannot see and comprehend The possibilities sent our philosophies all a-dizzy Is the peace you guarantee the action of a friend?
As omnipotent overlords what purpose is your desire? To defuse our will for independence over the ages Or quiet the individual need to reach on ever higher While our intellectual enlightenment engages
Once your face revealed, the body will weep or faint Soon accepting the devil may be in the detail The pursuit of pleasure left little time for complaint And a peaceful coexistence came to prevail
The Guardian Angels and correct use of force Countered suffering, mandated and employed That gave some meaning the plebs could endorse To avert their eyes from the beckoning void
Mellow and relaxed. After Amy left this morning and I got back from Utopia, I lazily read books and comics and watched some videos. I found an appropriate dose of a gummy to get me into things without taking me down the paranoia highway.
Around 3 pm, I hopped into bed and read more comics before a pleasant nap, which I got from at around 5 pm.
I forced myself out into my room, where I searched and researched Savage Dragon and Usagi Yojimbo comics before crashing around with the guitar, which sounded good today, though perhaps it was just from the CBD in the gummy.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s friends who are taking care of each other at Wan’s place near Chiang Khong.
The best thing about today was:
Reading a few issues of the current Love and Rockets series again. Such a rich and wonderful read and told with great skill.
I love that I’ve been able to watch the characters develop over all these years. It’s so well written that sometimes little is said but the reader fills in the gaps to move the story along.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The worst thing about the gummy experience is that time just disappears. I want to read more, listen to more music, write etc but somehow it’s time to go to bed already.
Something I learned today?
Art at Utopia is renting the shop next door to him to do more roasting. He’s doing well with his brand.
Amy sent me this picture while I was at Utopia. She had a big two-litre bottle of red wine ready to go to Wan’s birthday party this evening. She was just about to leave when….
People will demand freedom of speech as compensation For the freedom of their thought that remains in suspension
Disparity between desire for outward expression And the actual practice of inner contemplation
A little poem based on the Soren Kierkegaard quote “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”
Today I’m feeling:
Good again, even waking before my 7.30 alarm despite going to sleep well past midnight.
As I have to take Amy to the airport this afternoon, I know that I won’t succumb to an afternoon nap, which is good.
Amy goes to Pusan with her mum, dad, auntie and friend and she has already been frustrated with organising this trip, which she initially just intended to be her and her mum. I asked her yesterday if she was excited but she is mentally preparing for more frustration!
It did trigger me to investigate the possibility of going to Nanning for a few days in April, so I asked Ellen for some ideas on what to do there. I figure that it might be a way of easing Amy into the idea of travelling more in China.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
For our washing machine and the sunshine today, meaning that tonight I sleep in fresh, clean sheets again. I’ve been waiting for this for a few weeks already!
The best thing about today was:
Getting some more guitar playing in again and slowly making improvements. I go through cycles and at the moment I’m playing more guitar than I am reading, possibly helped by the fact that I’m constantly going to my room to kick off downloads of comics I’m interested in – so I guess there’s still a connection.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I very gently sent a message to Nancy at TLC asking why David and I are still getting all the junior high school classes again this semester. I know the answer but I’m suggesting to her that perhaps it is not quite fairly distributed among the three available teachers.
She replied that she will talk with Kru Tang about it. That made me chuckle a bit, as it seems Kru Tang is unaware of the reason it is not fairly distributed.
I’m stirring things a little bit and would like things to be more fair and it would also make the school happier that they don’t have to cater to one particular teacher’s selfish requirements.
I wonder what will happen next…
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I pointed out a huge cockroach to Safe while I was sitting reading in Utopia. Luckily, no one else was around at the time and the roach gave Safe a good chase and I think even got away, back outside via the door.
Good once I got moving and going. Exercise and hangs were a bit more difficult today as my arms are tired from doing this more often but hopefully it will settle down to strengthening everything.
With a long day ahead, I’m still feeling positive and on top of things but definitely looking forward to resting up at the weekend.
Health:
Physical: 8 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Ploughing through the day and continuing when I got home. Using energy is giving me motivation to draw on my reserves.
The best thing about today was:
A student that I hadn’t met before said, ‘Hi, Teacher Shaun’. I asked her who she was and we talked a little and she said ‘I like Teacher Shaun.’
I asked her why, and she said ‘I’m ใจดี๊’, meaning kind-hearted. As I’d never talked with her before, I assumed that she had heard this from other students.
Either way, it made me feel good.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my short break between classes today, I was hoping to enjoy some peace in the cafe but there was some meeting going on and I was relegated to an uncomfortable low table but I got on with a few things anyway. It was a bit rushed but it was good not to drop the energy levels and flake through the afternoon.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Amy is in a feisty, drunken mood and being a bit loud and dramatic. I’m doing my best to entertain her but the day is catching up with me and I just want to read and relax until I fall asleep.
Our cats were extremely scared and bothered by the fireworks for Loy Kratong last night. Amy let them both into the bedroom, which I knew was a bad idea but didn’t want to say anything.
Cap settled by my head, but Tigger was hiding under the lounge, and I got back to reading. After a while, I saw movement to my right, and Tigger had come out onto Amy’s bed. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sitting but pissing. I quickly got him off and pulled up the doona but it had also gone through to the sheet too.
I got them off the bed and into the washing machine and Amy complained that I wasn’t watching them whilst she got stuff prepared to sleep in the other room.
Art took this picture because the sunlight through the cafe window was giving a beautiful soft morning glow to Piti and me.
A smart-mouthed bad crazy-drunk Forgotten night of manic adventure Black-eyed slurred self-pity Another slug of ‘no surrender’
The door opened by the bottle Ushers safety within its cage Discard the day of tired dreams Darkness enlightens the stage
The truest friend ever found Til the comfort became a curse A body weighted in dilemma On a mission to submerse
Down, down under the table Joined by the rats and the finks Afraid of love, the amber’s pull Further into the ether sinks
Another sniff to calm the edges Eyes hidden from the light Til Jesus was doing cartwheels Across the lawn one night…
Submitted to AllPoetry.com competition of Walter Mosley’s Easy Rawlins quotes. Quote as prompt (and paraphrased):“Jesus was doing cartwheels across the lawn in the porch light.”
Today I’m feeling:
Well motivated and fairly refreshed despite waking often after the aircon went off during the night. Somehow, being cold as night helps me sleep, and I wonder if there is such a thing as male menopause.
Health:
Physical: 8 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The ENT lady who quickly sent me on my way with a little more medicine and told me I only needed to come back if my choked-up vocal cords came back again.
I’m not sure if the medicine helped or if it was the combination of vitamin C and not drinking icy cold water, or a combination of everything. Either way, if my symptoms continue to improve, I’ll stop taking the medicine at some point.
The best thing about today was:
Managing to do a lot of catching up and getting into the flow of writing after a quick visit to the hospital, where I was quickly seen and on my way again. I felt anxious to get some things cleared up and just got busy with it.
From my morning class to afternoon class, I felt like I was always on the go and continued when I got home, out into my room to sort more comic files, play guitar and listen to music.
It’s only now at 8 pm that I’m starting to feel the effects and will soon head to bed, though hopefully once there will be able to get some comic reading in before succumbing to sleep.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Halfway through my first lesson, the projector stopped working, so I quickly sent the work that I wanted written into our chat group and spent the next ten minutes or so calmly trying to find a solution.
I messed around with the VGA and HDMI cables and got it working again without too much interruption to the flow of the lesson.
At some points in my past, I would’ve let things like this fluster me, but I’m fairly adaptable these days to figuring out other ways to get around a problem.
Something I learned today?
The light bulbs that I bought at the 20 baht shop yesterday are the wrong colour (not warm white) and I’ll have to swap them back over soon. I was trying to save money and bought the cheapest ones there.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I dropped Amy’s cookies off at Utopia when I went to pick up my coffee before school. Sadly, Art wouldn’t fall for my request to give the money to me to pass on to Amy.
Someone took this picture at Utopia last week. I should get paid for all the ‘modelling’ work that I do here!
Good, waking up before my alarm again though I’m in a happy enough frame of mind.
I hope to get into my room and play more guitar again today. I feel like watching less videos now, which, in my mind, is a positive thing.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
All the folks who have been leaving comments on some of my poetry. I still have to catch up on lots of reading and make some comments myself, as I know how inspiring they can make people feel.
The best thing about today was:
I fleshed out some more poems and ideas whilst drinking coffee and after getting back home, read through the Cliff Notes for Childhood’s End and discovered a cool website for generating ideas for poems and also a lot of word games to inspire.
In the afternoon, I enjoyed banging away on the guitar again, with about 30 minutes on Yousician and another 30 minutes playing along to familiar songs.
As I was in my room I also added some older blog entries, listened to music and did a little bit more writing.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I went up to the hospital today to get some more medicine from the psych but I also remembered that Amy had mentioned today was a holiday and so I wasn’t sure if anyone would be working and sure enough when I got there only the ER was still open.
Never mind. I can go back again tomorrow morning and make an appointment for another day this week when he’s there.
Something I learned today?
The first person in history whose name we know is “Kushim,” an accountant from Mesopotamia who lived around 3200 B.C.
I took this picture because the guard at Utopia was at his usual position this morning, hoping for escape.
Well slept and despite turning on my alarm I got up before it would’ve gone off anyway!
Today is the first day of my holiday proper. I say that as I still feel as if I’m on holiday most of the time anyway, even when I’m working. However, today I meet Porpieng, Momo and Baitong for lunch at Central, go for a psych appointment on Monday and back to the ENT on Tuesday. Too busy for my liking!
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Baitong buying me Dairy Queen ice cream today after we finished our pizza.
The best thing about today was:
Meeting the kids (the smart ones) for pizza again and watching them change and grow every six months (though I see Momo more often at school).
As Popo and Baitong have had experience at my school and now a new school I asked them which they thought was best and the both said the new school was better for their education even though it was more stressful in some ways.
I think they can realise the benefits of not having access to their phones during the day allowing them to focus more on their classes.
Baitong still cracks me up. She’s smart and has a quick wit and loves to make fun of everything.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The baby cow is on our garden again. Amy thought it best to close the gate to keep him here as if he’s left outside he could walk off anywhere.
His mum is calling him from the other side of the fence but he doesn’t seem to care as he munches on our grass.
Mum is tied down but the baby, whilst having a rope that can be tied up is left to roam. I think the cow man can guess where to look if he can’t find the baby. He’s used to it by now.
Something I learned today?
Baitong told me that she can’t ride a bike or drive a car but that she can drive a tractor!
She said her mum is a housewife and she didn’t quite know what her dad does but that he works hard. I asked if she would prefer to be like her mum or dad when she finishes school and university and she said ‘like her dad’.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I bought Momo, Baitong and Porpieng lunch today and as Baitong shares my birthday I bought her the materials to do the painting of our cats that she promised me last time we met.
I messaged Anchan and she told me that she still has a fever (39.2).
Momo messaged me in the evening saying that some of her class were wondering about the grades I gave them. Most of her class did well enough but their question of understanding my criteria is a fair point.
Basically I want them talking and communicating more in class. I asked her to pass the message on and that her classmates should contact me directly to show me their initiative. Let’s see!
I took this picture because who is the real boss here?
Sore. My hip is a little bit more recovered, but I zonked out last night on an extra Tramadol, which saw me move very little and now I have a sore neck too.
The recent pain and annoyance of it has put me in a low mood and I have no motivation for anything much today.
Today I’m grateful for:
Not having anything in particular to get done today. I’m not in the mood for anything.
It wasn’t only late this afternoon that I remembered that I hadn’t taken any meds today, which may account for my low mood a little too.
The best thing about today was:
The workers have finally laid the concrete for the road and should all be good by tomorrow. Then we can see what needs to be done to join our road up with it.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was pretty frustrated this morning after realising that the gardeners hadn’t bothered with one small part of the garden. She kept complaining to me but there’s nothing that I can do to help.
Something I learned today?
Thaksin has been given a royal pardon and will do something connected with the government again.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I barely did anything either way! I did turn off the TV when we were eating, though, so that Amy and I could talk a little.
Another Utopia shot of me, this time reading Rip It Up and Start Again.
Your opinion of me, it could hurt You can only teach if I wish to learn Keep kicking it along in the dirt Your opinion of me is not my concern
To take offence is to give offence An ever-decreasing circle of pain I’ll not give you satisfaction at my expense Or even bother to explain
First attempt at an 8-line poem about what offends me. Nothing offends me, not personally.
Today I’m feeling:
Lazy. I didn’t intend to. Though I didn’t have any other intention either.
My energy has returned but motivation has gone missing. Part of this is due to knowing that I will have lots of spare time this coming week.
Today I’m grateful for:
The freedom to be lazy today.
The best thing about today was:
Clearing a bunch of videos out of my ‘watch later’ queue.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Everything was in my control, I just made the laziest choices!
Something I learned today?
I finished watching the Idles documentary and enjoyed it a lot. I like their music but usually only in small doses. I can appreciate their appeal as genuine human beings and that makes me like them more.
I took this picture because I wanted to send it to Noey. I told her that Utopia is boys only now (now that there are no female staff). Save also said that she had told him that she wanted to stay in the USA, so I messaged her to find herself a boyfriend while she’s there.
Pretty good, more than most of my recent Saturday mornings.
Today I’m grateful for:
Cap scratching at the door after he heard my alarm. I was going to get more sleep, but I got up for him and decided to exercise. I want to try to get out of my five-day routine and into a seven-day routine instead.
The best thing about today was:
Finding our little birdies had hatched. At first, when I went out to look in the nest, it looked like the eggs had been broken and the liquid inside had spilled out.
I told Amy to come and look with a sad face and shaking my head, but when she came, suddenly these two little beaks appeared, open to the sky though they were still too young to make any noise.
I had noticed earlier in the day that both the mum and dad had been around at the nest, so it seemed that they had just been born, maybe even just within the hour.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy’s parent’s gutter specialists came today and said they can fix our gutter easily, quickly and for the same price as the last builder that fucked it up.
They said that it was obvious that the guy didn’t know what he was doing so Amy and I both felt vindicated on the shit that we’ve been giving him online. Amy also noticed that he’d removed many of his old posts and thought perhaps we weren’t the only people that he had ripped off.
Either way, we hope to have proper gutters back on Wednesday.
Something I learned today?
Art at Utopia video called with Noey, who is in the USA, whilst I was drinking my coffee this morning. She is on some kind of working holiday during her semester break.
She said that she is eating pizza every day and misses rice! The only coffee she has now is black drip coffee and at the place she works, some kind of amusement park, a cup is $4.22 and hardly anyone buys it!
It’s a good experience for her and she looks like she is enjoying herself. It is also a reminder for me that most of the USA is ok, normal and people are generally getting on with their lives.
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