Barry – 30th July 1983


You look cool with a beard of bumfluff
Cos it looks cool to have that stuff
Barry the maniac, daredevil cool
Barry ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fool!

25th Apr 2023 – Barry was in our class, which one I can’t remember though and his name wasn’t Barry. I’m not sure how he earned that nickname. I remember Barry was sometimes a word used in a derogatory way too (‘you Barry!’) and I’m also not sure where that came from either. Google doesn’t seem to know either. Look at all the things we don’t know.


Round, shapely, curved or flat
Big, small, nippley, ones that sag

25th Apr 2023 – As a hetero male teenager female breasts were a mystical thing for a while. I don’t really remember thinking about them too much though but others certainly did. Jim was dating Bernice who was the most well-endowed of our friends. She was a nice, funny girl but I didn’t like the way others were obsessed about her boobs as if that was her sole asset.
I was already well developed with my contrariness and being one of the lads was something I was slowly coming to loathe (unless it suited me, of course!). I remember Brian Chapman bragging about having seen Alison Pratt’s chest and that she had no boobs but huge nipples.
I was envious of the boys’ stories but never felt comfortable talking about girls in this way. I was obviously thinking about boobs though!
I had already decided that if I had a girlfriend I wouldn’t have sex with her for at least three months to see if she really liked me.
So my preference became for a small chest, always rooting for the underdog. This led to a memorable exchange with TLJ in late 2001 after I finally revealed to her about an infidelity and her response was ‘Did she have a smaller chest than me?’
Amy too was a small-breasted angel that matched her small body. However, she wasn’t happy with her chest and got herself an upgrade about a year or two into our relationship. Whatever makes her happy. Her doctor (are they doctors?) did a good job and she didn’t end up with obviously fake orbs. As she has gotten older and her petite frame started to mature into an auntie’s body they are a better match now. She still gets stares though. The downside of this operation though was painful nipples when touched, which is a shame.
It seems I have a lot to consider on this subject and here is a final thought. I hate the word ‘tits’. It’s just way too sharp and spiky for something that is soft and cuddly. Totally heterological. (Yes, I had to look that up!)

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