*Yes, no, you can’t, but you can if you know why – 15th November 2019

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12 Questions

Who do you spend your time with?
Is this in my control?
What does your ideal day look like?
To be or to do?
If I am not for me, who is? If I am only for me, who am I?
What am I missing by choosing to worry or be afraid?
Am I doing my job?
What is the most important thing?
Who is this for?
Does this actually matter?
Will this be alive time or dead time?
Is this who I want to be?

21st Aug 2021 – As yet, still unanswered, although probably considered and written about since. I’ll get back to this.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to meet George and Bee yesterday even though I will meet them again tonight. They are interesting and offer stimulating conversation. I can smile a lot around them.

We got that attitude! – 14th November 2019

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Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful today for meeting all the kids at the school gate this morning. The happy ones, the tired ones, the shy ones. They all make me smile. I was grateful for the opportunity to talk with Said this morning too as we haven’t had a chance to talk much yet. I was also happy and grateful to stand in front of the school assembly and make the kids laugh and have fun. I was happy and grateful to see a small smile on Puifai’s face when I helped her with some difficult work. It’s very gratifying to see the kids thinking hard and then suddenly getting it!

We got that attitude! – 13th November 2019

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This week I still have some remnants of uncertainty. I’m going to be very busy with things at home as well as at school and it won’t leave as much free time as previously. I’ll have to plan carefully as I still haven’t managed to schedule in time for meditation and exercise. I’m pretty exhausted when I get home from school already. I just feel like chilling in my room or watching TV shows. I know I have to try and push past that. I can do it, right?

Whatever you do willingly, you enjoy. Whatever you do unwillingly, you suffer.

Sadhguru

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful today to the student in P5/3 who told me after a lesson that I am the best teacher in the world! It made me so happy though I’m not sure why she thought that. The class did go much better than the previous two though and I’m just glad that there was some appreciation. There will be some kids who think the exact opposite I’m certain!

We got that attitude! – 12th November 2019

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Slept deeply last night – for some reason the stress of standing up for myself on a small issue has made me very tired.

Yesterday was also a little frustrating as my students seem to have mostly forgotten what they did last week. Not all of them but enough to show that this will be a struggle. I do remember having a similar feeling in CRPAO soon after I started. I guess I need to adjust my expectations – teach to the top/middle – keep them interested.

I woke up tired but feel reasonably confident this morning. I only have two lessons today so can spend a lot of time preparing more lessons.

Gratitude Journal

I was so happy and grateful to watch the sunrise this morning. It came up over the mountain behind the temple spire and it was amazing. Every day the sun comes up. Long before I was here and long after I’m gone.

We got that attitude! – 11th November 2019

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The end of the week felt good. But this morning I felt a little anxious as I push back against having to work next weekend. I worked so hard at CRPAO that I don’t want to fall back into that trap.

In this past month, I have learned that I can be more confident with my skills at teaching. I can feel that I make a good impression on the students and that in general, they are happy to follow what I ask of them.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the many beautiful birds that come to visit our garden. I wasn’t sure there would be any as it seemed there were none when the building was going on. Now there are lots of trees and bushes there are many that come to visit. Even despite our cats, who don’t seem to be smart enough to catch them. Some of the birds are not so spectacular but they are mostly all new to me, being different to those in Australia and the UK.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #11 – 9th November 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from The Misunderstood, Angelic Upstarts, Passage, Surveillance, 13th Floor Elevators, Lozenge, Vaz, Hard-Ons, The Damned, Queen, Captain Beefheart, Melt Banana, Crass, Hitler SS, Meat Puppets, I Am Above and on the Left, Thee Headcoats, Party Diktator, Supertramp.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be living in this part of the world. There are many times in a week when I marvel at the views of the rice fields and the mountains. Their depth changes depending on the weather conditions and time of day. There are good and bad points about every place to live but I certainly feel grateful for my time living here.

We got that attitude! – 7th November 2019

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Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Kru Noon for helping me with things in this first week here. I was also happy and grateful to Boyan for checking that I was prepared for assembly this morning. That was appreciated.

24th March 2021 – Boyan also worked at my previous school. He’s Dutch, into Muay Thai, often racist, misogynist and homophobic and the only thing he ever talked about was himself. He was a complete caricature and that was the only way I could like him – if I could view him as not being real.

We got that attitude! – 6th November 2019

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Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to hear positive feedback from the Thai teachers about my teaching. It gives me some pride and confidence that what I’m doing is ok. I am also so happy and grateful that, so far, there is actually less work to do. Putting the lessons together is pretty straightforward so I have spare time to consider doing a little extra for the kids.

24th Mar 2021 – This school was happy to work with textbooks which made putting lessons together pretty straightforward, though for some reason they still required new lesson plans year after year – surely one of the most ridiculous ideas amongst the many deficiencies found in the government education system here. Anyway, life was a little easier for a little while