Tag: Anchan

Broken Rules – 7th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

You were so quiet, it was obvious
How could you think I was oblivious?
I’ll tell you now that I was serious
But you went and broke the rules

Whether them or me, was it just a fling?
Did either of us even mean anything?
Who next for the words you sweetly sing
And the hearts held in your cup?

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge – oblivious, FOWC – fling and NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good even though I slept badly due to aching shoulders. I should probably get them checked out as it’s been painful for about six months already.

I got up early so that I could watch the Swans game this morning.

I need to book flights to Bangkok to meet up with Arwith in early May, order a filter for our air purifier and will take Baipad and Butter to practice riding the motorbike again.

In amongst all that I’ll do all the things I usually do too; reading, writing, thinking and planning.

Today I’m grateful for:

My alarm getting me up and into action this morning.  I could easily have slept another three hours but glad that I gave myself that extra time to do things.

The best thing about today was:

It’s been a pretty good day all round.  It was 41 degrees and the house was like an oven so I spent most of my time in aircon.  

I didn’t read or play guitar today but did clear up a backlog of emails.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I got back from coffee I prepared everything to watch the AFL but it wasn’t working, which was unusual.  I saw one error about location so I downloaded a free VPN and tried some different locations.  None of those worked either but they also didn’t have the option to set the server to Australia.

I checked if the Highlights and Mini Matches still worked and they were fine.  But even last week’s full match replays were no longer available.

I searched online to see if there might be some information about this and ended up posting on Reddit.  Whilst waiting for any response I found another VPN that had an Australian server and finally, I was able to watch the game (which was an unconvincing win).

It looks like someone else had the same problem too so I guess I need to figure out a VPN to watch full games in future. The one I used, TunnelBear, has a 2G data limit and I’m not sure if that is daily, weekly or monthly.  I really don’t want to have to pay for a VPN just to watch one match a week.

Something I learned today?

Butter’s mum came and introduced herself to me and when we got back from riding I also met his dad and sister, Cookie!  Great names!

Cookie will start grade 7 at my school next month though I won’t be teaching her.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

More encouragement for Butter and Baipad with motorbike riding.

Butter has pretty much got it already and Baipad improved a little more today too.  I think that gave her a mini confidence boost.

I can see from her actions that whatever bullying she suffered when she was younger has really knocked her self-confidence.  She is still vulnerable to other people who could easily bully and manipulate her.

I also sent another 100 baht to Anchan.

When was the last time I tried something new? 

Although I can’t pinpoint it I believe that I try something new every day. The journey through our minutes is diverted off course consistently. Even the Trumans Show fell apart eventually and Groundhog Day was never actually the same.

But something deliberately new? So something interesting? Not just a new restaurant, a new book, a new poem, a new song to listen to?

How about a new country, a new house, a new job, a new hobby?

Read anything here, there is nothing new and something new on every page.

Write about a time when you laughed uncontrollably.

Back in 1989 (I think) I was thrilled to be outside of England for the first time in my life and playing shows with my friends in Belgium and Holland. I soon bonded with our Dutch host Mark and we would drink, get high and laugh a lot much like any other early twenty-year-olds would.

At this one of our shows, which was an amazingly fun night where Mike, from the New York band Shaved Pigs (who had hung on a bit longer after their tour had finished the week previous) joined us on saxophone for our epic jam tune, there was a radio interview at the end of the evening.

Thoroughly happy and drunk, Mark, who was the interviewer, asked me to recite a couple of poems that I had written that he had seen before.

I think I read The Day The Apples Turned To Poison but hassled for more I was requested to read She Lost Her Virginity To A Worm. The anticipation in the room for this short poem was too much and I couldn’t even get to the end of it as Mark and I were in fits of giggles.

A fascinating radio listen? I doubt very much!

I took this picture because His Majesty was looking regal, watching over the dining room this morning. I’m so glad that he is feeling better this week.

The Muddy River – 6th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t wait until it’s too late to realise
A life isn’t lived if it’s lived in fear
Even though we fall we still hope to rise
We sure could use a drink down here

The further we go the further back we get*
The possibilities only ever feel near
Along the way exclaiming ‘Are we there yet?’
We sure could use a drink down here

Wherever this winding river will lead
Its waters are more muddy than clear
It pays to suffer, it pays to bleed
And we sure could use a drink down here

Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – thirsty and NaPoMo
*Appropriated from Mudhoney

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy and happy.  Woke up at 10 am and have not been motivated to do much of anything really.

I came across this quote yesterday that I quite liked:

“Delusions believed by billions are still delusions and the truth of one humanity embraced by even one human is still the truth.”

Abhijit Naskar

Today I’m grateful for:

Finally receiving my classes list for next semester.  I have a wider range of classes so will have to do more preparation and will start getting into that on Monday.

The best thing about today was:

Eating a bowl of LungChom ice cream.  It’s been a year that I’ve been denying myself because it is so nice and I was getting too fat from it, so I’ll enjoy it again now and try to resist falling into any further addiction.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Talking with Anchan breaks my heart.  She doesn’t know anything about what happened with her mum in court and is sad, lonely and frustrated in Chiang Mai.  I discovered that her mum is in a Myanmar prison which is just a nightmare.

I suggested many things to try and take her mind off her situation but she is in a pretty negative state of mind.  She did cry that she should be enjoying her teenage life and not having to deal with all this.

I saw that her and Fah were friendly at the end of last semester so I contacted Fah and asked her to chat with Anchan, just to be a friend.  I hope some contact will keep her a little grounded.

Something I learned today?

Bonism – the doctrine that the world is good, although not the best of all possible worlds

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I moved around some plants for Amy and fixed up the vine plant so that it should grow over the empty roof space and hopefully give some natural shade at least.

Mee took this picture sometime last year. I’m pleased that she is feeling better than last year.

The Baton – 4th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

You got all of me
The good and the bad
And for all to see
The happy and sad

Take up this race
Carry the baton on
Please take my place
I love you, son

Submitted to WDYS and NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. The air is pretty putrid again today. You can taste it, not just smell it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The delivery people who still manage to get our parcels to us from all around the world, despite all the disruptions in our soi from the new road being built.  4 parcels were delivered while we were out.

The best thing about today was:

The air was slightly clearer the higher up the mountains we got but then once up there it was impossible to see any view.

Most of the restaurants and resorts were closed but we found one and enjoyed Akha food and coffee before hitting Charin Pie and LungChom for desserts.

We should get home around 5 pm and hoping the electricity is back on.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In our soi, they are moving the electricity poles today so they cut off the electricity all along. And today it’s forty degrees! No choice but to go out somewhere so we took a lazy drive up to Doi Chang.

Something I learned today?

Anchan messaged me again. She is staying in Chiang Mai by herself as her extended family is working in BKK.

Her mum, who is in jail, will go to court tomorrow and may end up in prison. She sent Anchan some money to take care of herself and some bills but her uncle, whose house she stays in in Chiang Rai, demanded it all off her.

She’s only 14 and has to deal with all this. She is keen to work to support herself and is highly motivated but I’m also worried about her being vulnerable and could easily be taken advantage of.

She’s smart but the offer of good money for selling her body could sway her and I don’t want that to happen.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan 200 baht to keep her going. 

She didn’t want me to send her money and I can’t afford it much either but there is little else I can do. Even emotional support can’t buy her some vegetables.

I messaged some other of my vulnerable kids today to try and keep some dialogues open.

I took this picture because these red buds stood out at this little water feature as we entered Suan Charin Pie this afternoon.

All The Arms We Need – 27th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

The truth took the wind from me
I’m still not ready to stand
This isn’t the way it was meant to be
It’s not quite how I planned

I cannot face this world today
Please comfort me, I am in need
Give me the power to walk away
To heal me as I bleed

Together in the world we’ve built
And the challenges we are thrown
After all the tears we’ve spilled
We will never walk alone

A second submission to WDYS (picture above) and inspired by events from last night

Today I’m feeling:

Super tired due to waking up a couple of times during the night as Amy was checking on Cap who was very restless and crying often.  

It’s still difficult to see if there is anything specifically wrong but Amy will take him back to the vet to double-check this morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding Amy starting to watch the Netflix version of the Three Body Problem, so I said Hey, let’s watch it together.

I will try to put out of my mind how good the books were and try to judge this on its own merits.

The best thing about today was:

Cap seeming to improve a little after stopping one of the medicines the vet had given him a couple of days ago.  He’s still not eating or drinking much but he seems to be getting better rest and looks to be in less discomfort.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I rolled with the things that were working against me and sure enough, by sitting still and doing nothing, the world revolved full circle and back into my favour.

Something I learned today?

I met Kru Ren this morning and discovered that he has been tasked with creating the full curriculum for the integrated English classes next year.  He’s flummoxed!  He knows what a stupidly huge task he has been given and I commiserated with him because it’s pretty crazy to be given just a few weeks (that should be a holiday) to prepare.

It seems that he is also tasked to teach it and he has made the same complaint as myself – we don’t have the knowledge level to teach the sciences and other subjects.

Even things that we do have knowledge of would take much preparation to teach at the grade 7 level.

When I was doing the same in primary it would often take me six hours prep to teach a two hour class!

Good luck Kru Ren!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I talked with Kru Lucky about information on scholarships and exchange programs to pass on to Anchan, which I duly did.

To be honest, I’m not very optimistic that she can achieve a full scholarship and I hope that she doesn’t get disheartened.

She did seem to have a couple of backup plans though so it seems she has already thought about this.  

She’s a good kid and deserves better than what her situation is offering her.

I took this picture because as I was waiting for Amy this little chap flew up for a quick inspection and I just managed to get my phone out in time for this shot before darting off to his nest.

Our Part – 26th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

When judgement comes, what may you say
In your defence?
For every tiny part you play
Comes at some expense
With violence spent, you walked away
All of it forgotten
Whilst those you hurt were forced to stay
Sour and turning rotten

When judgement comes, it will be
Seen from your heart
For better or worse, you set me free
You played your part
A part in miniature, a part of me
Reborn stronger
My part in this is plain to see
And I will stay longer

Inspired by the poem Until Then (’till the last petal falls) by Michelle Ayon Navajas and comments there.
Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge Miniature

Today I’m feeling:

Uncertain.  I just looked in the mirror and felt old and worthless.  Perhaps it’s because I’m not around the energy of the kids at the moment.

Last night Amy also cried that Thailand isn’t her place anymore and that she feels more at home in Australia.  There’s a lot behind that but there is also a factor that I haven’t written about here because it’s a sensitive topic and the situation is ongoing.  Needless to say, I understand her feeling, whilst not sharing it.

She also asked me if I would ever go back to England to live and I said no, which made me consider her position.

I seem to have really found myself here and just have no real idea what I would do with myself back in Australia.

Anyway, this is not a new feeling or thought and is not able to be actioned upon just yet due to having our cats and our home here, which we would need to sell.  Sometime in the future though, it looks a given that we will be back in Australia.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student, Nong Aoi, who called me this evening as she was happily cooking and eating with her boyfriend and friends.  Despite giving me big headaches last year enough to make me worry that she was going off the rails, she has calmed down a little now and is quite sweet and affectionate.  I think it’s nice that my students feel comfortable enough to call me.  I’m doubtful that they call other any other teachers.

Yesterday I also messaged a little with Nong Nam, who was Aoi’s accomplice in giving me grief last year.  She has also matured a little more now and said that she really appreciates that I contact her every six months or so to check in on her.  Sometimes it’s the small actions that make all the difference.

The best thing about today was:

Quietly reading 2000AD and Judge Dread Megazine stories after getting home mid-afternoon.  It was excellent and I was savouring the time spent.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a glimpse of my new classes from Kru Mai today and whilst he has taken heed of my reluctance to be involved with the Integrated classes for next semester he has spread me out into other high school classes which means figuring out new lessons to teach.

I would also not teach any grade 7 classes, for which I already have a hundred lessons accumulated over the last three years.  Oh well, new challenges lay ahead.

Cappuccino is still not looking too good at the moment and doesn’t seem to be able to settle himself into a comfortable position, like there’s something not right in his hips or belly.  Poking around doesn’t seem to cause him any discomfort but something is obviously not right.

Amy and I are both wary as it was at this time last year that Kim got sick and went to the vet a couple of times until that fateful day she didn’t come back alive.

Something I learned today?

In medieval Europe, mercury was used in medicine and manufacturing. Hatters were specifically exposed to mercuric nitrate, a form of inorganic mercury.

By 1837, “mad as a hatter” was a common saying.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent messages out to a few more students today to check in on how they are doing.  I discovered that Anchan is having a tough time of things these days.

She has been living with her uncle as the rest of her family have been put in prison for an illegal online gambling website!  She says her uncle is never around so she has to take care of the house and as she is not getting any money from her mum now she has to help her grandmum with selling things and gets barely enough to buy herself food.

And all that is taking away from her school work where, amazingly, she is still motivated to push herself and enrolling herself in extracurricular activities.  She’s only 14 years old.

She asked for some help with information about exchange programs to Australia and I talked a little with Kru Champ about that as it is something he is working on in the future.

It’s frustrating to see smart, motivated kids trapped in situations like this.  I hope she doesn’t give up and lose herself as so many teenagers can do.

I took this picture because Cap is not quite feeling well at the moment, unfortunately. 

Roll Another Number – 27th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everyone is so cynical
Opinionated, clinical
Fallen from the pinnacle
And waiting to expire

We’re all gonna die, what’s the point?
Who cares who the kings may anoint?
Sing a song, smoke another joint
Around the old campfire

Written for Ovi’s Challenge – Negativity. Titled borrowed from Nuisance.

Today I’m feeling:

Better but still tired out.  I took it easy with my first class but I was still exhausted by the end of it.  No exercise this morning either so that is now five days without.  I will try to do it tomorrow.  I usually feel better in the evenings than in the mornings though.  Let’s see.

Today I’m grateful for:

My former self of last week for planning ahead and quickly making up some cards for a quick vocabulary game with my grade 10s.  I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to incorporate it in the class but I figured out a way to make it fun and engaging for everyone.

The best thing about today was:

Gradually getting my mojo back during the day and being able to not push myself or the students too much to stress ourselves out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

With half of my grade 7 classes missing this week I’ve had to adapt myself to just playing Kahoots about the topic that we were on and making it as fun as possible whilst not putting any pressure on about punctuality and paying complete attention.

Something I learned today?

I forced myself to listen through a podcast of a couple of North American China Hawks discussing what the best way forward was for the USA to deal with China.

It reminded me that at the highest levels of Western governments, people cling to their ideology without growth or learning.  Some of the commentary had me contemplating just skipping it but I wanted to hear more opposition to the things I believe and to try to understand where some people are coming from.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Anchan skipped my class today to prepare for a national (I think) competition for a speech in Thai.  She sent me a message to say why she wasn’t there and I wished her the best.

She also reminded me it was her birthday today and so I bought some sweet snacks for her and her friends.  They were so cheap that there were so many of them that when I got back to school and my next class, Nemo said that it was her birthday too and so I gave her one pack.

I later tracked Anchan down in another building and gave her the rest of the snacks.  She laughed because there were so many but appreciated them too.  Whilst I was there, many students wished her a happy birthday and I was surprised by all the people who knew her.

I can understand her popularity though.  She is a smart kid who, in my own class, I have seen make friends with almost everyone, investing time in them (and calling out ones that treat others badly).  I warned her once last year not to get dragged into the bad crowd and whether she heeded that or not, she worked out what was best and was still able to maintain friendships with them.  I could sense what she was capable of and she has even surprised me with her skills.  Except English!

I also offered to teach Baipad, along with Apple and Jan, during the holidays if they wished.  I know that this will be a struggle to get them to commit to but also maybe get them to see that this is free education that they are being offered.  It would also give me something else to do apart from playing XBOX for four weeks straight!

Who would I like to reconnect with? 

In some ways, I’d like to reconnect with my school friends just to get memories and stories from them from when we were at school.  It’s kind of interesting to discover what ever happened to everyone but at the same time, I don’t care that much either.  That seems weird to write down but I’ve lived almost forty years without knowing what happened to everyone it just doesn’t seem that relevant.

I always want to connect with people in the DIY punk scene in South East Asia though and would love to find another kindred spirit in the same way that Kimi was.  Parthiban in Singapore is the nearest I have but we’ve only been able to hang out one time previously.

I should also reconnect with folks in Australia, which I do do from time to time but I’m thinking I should chat with Swerve again as we spent a lot of time working on things in the late 00’s and had a lot of fun.  There are also plenty of bands that I’ve worked with that I don’t have much contact with these days too.  I should get back to that.

I took this picture at 7.14 am just as I was about to leave this morning. I was surprised to see clouds on the horizon and I shot this at the very first peak of the sun rising above them.

Walking In Darkness – 26th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Without the light, it’s easy to submit
Wild and brave men no longer thrive
Those empty spaces are full of it
Desperate hands grasping to survive

These men bleed, kept in silence
There’s no longer a world to save
Tired of all the endless violence
In darkness rot the men so brave

Inspired by this post at John Coyote’s blog
17th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – darkness

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more awake this morning after struggling to get up.  I really wanted to sleep more.  I noticed that my stomach has lost a little more excess flab so I’m happy about that.  Keep going.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the dental clinic who happily changed my dental appointment from next week to mid-February because, and I told her this, I don’t have any money to pay until I paid again.  We both talked in a mixture of English and Thai and could understand each other clearly and I wai’d her my thanks as I left.

The best thing about today was:

…well, it seems strange to call this the best thing but it is certainly something that stands out. 

For my last grade 7 class of the day, I asked the kids to log in to the Quiz on their phones.  Aomsin, who was sitting right in front of me in the front row, said she couldn’t because she had no battery.  I explained to her in English that I told the class many times that for my class they must always have enough battery and good internet access. 

Aomsin’s English is not that good yet though and whilst she could tell that I was being serious she clearly did not understand the details.  This was Friday afternoon, the last hours of the day and I was feeling laid back and playful.  The other kids could sense that.  I told her that I take away 5 points in the system if they are not prepared. I was smiling and had no intention to do that but wanted her to know that she should always be prepared.

Anyway, I translated into Thai for her so she could understand and she nodded and looked down at her phone.  Gunn, sitting next to her, looked at me, looked at her and then looked at me again.  Aomsin then started talking in Thai, sounding like complaining-explaining and looked back up to me, with a slightly pleading face and then I saw a tear fall down each of her cheeks. 

I couldn’t believe it.  I wiped away each tear and said ‘Hey, come on, it’s not that serious.’ Again, she didn’t quite get it.  I comforted her and told her in Thai that I was only playing with her. 

Gunn cracked up laughing at her but I wanted her to feel better.  Then she started really balling her eyes out but also laughing at the same time.  Laughing and crying at herself and her friends.  It was like she really wanted to feel an emotion deeply but also realised how absurd it was.  She was smiling and laughing but couldn’t stop herself from crying. 

Other kids started paying attention and couldn’t understand why everyone looked happy and smiling but Aomsin was crying.  Gunn quickly offered a solution with his charger (why didn’t she just ask him to borrow it in the first place!) and even that couldn’t settle her down.  Gunn talked some more to her and I went and attended a couple of other students before coming back after a few minutes. 

She had settled herself by this time but when I asked her to do the quiz she said she couldn’t yet.  I got down on my knees and wai’d her my apologies many times over and both she and Gunn cracked up laughing again.

I guess it’s a good lesson for me that not everyone gets the vibe or feeling of the class and whilst I can be quite strict about what I want I’m not so often angry about anything. I can sense Aomsin is sensitive, not just in my class but in general and I should be aware of that and make sure that she understands when something is playful or serious.  I could be wrong but I don’t think she was really upset with what happened and maybe there were other things going on for her and she was having a bad day and this just tipped her over the edge.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After picking up my coffee and making sure to be back in school for first class I was wondering why the building was so quiet.  No kids!  What’s going on? You can read more below.  How did I handle it?  By taking the free time opportunity to write here.

Something I learned today?

This morning my first class was delayed as there was something going on.  As I was in the classroom ready to teach I decided to go and find out what it was all about.  It was about the upcoming election for a student to the school board. 

I walked around and ended up talking with Jet and asked her who she would vote for and why.  I then asked if she would want to run for election when she was in grade 11 and she said ‘Why would I want to do that!?’ 

Ok, I said, who do you think in your class would be suitable and she thought Anchan.  She said Anchan is a little older than the rest of the class and can control them quite well.  I wasn’t too surprised at this as I could see last year that she had some leadership qualities if she chose to go in that direction.  It was interesting to hear this from another student though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a positive message based on what Jet had said above, to show my support and pride in her.  I told her to keep going. (Just as I told myself this morning – keep going!)

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 6. Keep a Journal. No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

Journaling has only become a habit since moving to Thailand and somewhat inspired by starting 1994ever to document my year in 1994.  Because I have ended up with fewer external things to do I have had more time to develop this habit and it doesn’t feel like a chore like when I was a teenager trying to keep up a diary.  As the idea states you become a better thinker and that is what I want to be.  Yesterday’s idea was about strengthening the body through exercise, today is about strengthening the brain through journaling.

I took this picture because we had to cut our three big trees down as the roots would fuck up the buildings. It looks so strange and we’re a little sad because they were big healthy trees that gave a lot of shade.

Run For Your Life – 21st May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Every second that passes is paid for with your life
Even the smallest moments await your attention
You’re not getting back the time you waste each day
Are you living for the photo or living with intention?

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more awake and inspired. Amy’s parents were here when I got back from coffee and I could feel the influence of them just being here had on me. It’s a good stress to have to interact with people otherwise I would keep losing that capability. I have to force myself out and confront my considered deficiencies. I am totally happy by myself but also mustn’t completely cut myself off from the world. This is one thing that makes the stress of being around Amy and her giving me tasks, as I mentioned yesterday, appreciate her even if they are things is rather do in my own time. I understand myself and I think Amy understands me too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The apps I mentioned yesterday, reminding me to practice more Thai. I’ve set myself a target to learn the months and hopefully impress Amy ( I know it won’t but it’s something to aim for anyway). The Duo Cards app is pretty good for this task.

The best thing about today was:

Watching the Swans game on the big tv whilst ironing. It looked like we were going to lose against North Melbourne who are one of the worst teams in the competition. It was only an interchange infringement in the last 30 seconds that helped us win by getting a free kick and kicking a goal. A win’s a win but that was a shit showing. Admittedly we are without about six of our top players due to injury. We won’t be playing finals this year.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was due to have the back door fixed this morning after coming back from coffee but then Amy sent a message saying her dad was coming back to do it properly this time. I told her there was no need as I could do it but she insisted which frustrated me a little. I want to feel a little bit useful at least! Eventually, I resigned myself to letting it go and he did come and do a good job which also reminded me of myself as I considered why he didn’t do it properly in the first place and save himself time. But that is something I have done many times and have mostly learned to not make this mistake, depending on the task. As with everything any criticism projected outward should be considered through an inward filter first. We are very capable of highlighting the faults of others before highlighting our own.

Something I learned today?

I’ve been binge-watching the Bad Friends podcast and today I dug a little into Bobby Lee’s break-up with his long-time girlfriend. It is both fascinating gossip and celebrity promotion. They are all narcissistic to some degree (we all are really) and what I found interesting is how people comment on the videos as if they know exactly what is happening in these people’s lives. I sympathise with Bobby Lee somewhat as I think we share some personality traits.
Thinking about that more I guess we sympathise with the similar traits we see in others and maybe I excuse or ignore those that we don’t like.

What am I thankful for today?

I’m thankful that Amy’s dad came back to fix the door and her mum did some morning watering. I’m thankful to Noey for doing her best at making me coffee and saying she would buy some milk to practice more, adding ‘just for you’ which made me feel good whether it’s true or not. I’m actually wondering if she might be a good choice for a cat sitter for us. I’ll find out more.

Anchan took this picture on Friday because she was taking a video in the auditorium where all the English Program students were gathered. I asked her if she had a picture of me and Ren together and she sent me the video that I took this capture from. He’s a character for sure and I want to find out more about him.

Once Around The Sun – 20th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It would’ve been your birthday
You would’ve got my call
Wishing you more happiness
No matter how small
I guess it still is your birthday
You’re just not here to see
I miss you more each year
And one day it will be me

Mum would’ve been 88 years old today.

Today I’m feeling:

Similar to yesterday, though a little tired due to not sleeping until about 2am but still trying to wake up early. I’m trying to get up at 8 am but didn’t make it until 9 this morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Surprise messages from my students Nam and Anchan, Anchan asking me for advice on love.  Unsure if I’m the best to be asking for advice I think I said it well.

She asked:”Do you think age affects love? For example, there is a kid in middle school. And the person he talks to or likes is in college. Do you think it’s possible?”

I took her meaning to be that it is her in middle school (she is 13) and is interested in someone older (maybe 18 or 19).

“Yes, I think age affects love.

As we get older and have more experiences we get a better understanding of it’s meaning. But only if we learn from our mistakes and don’t keep repeating them.

We learn what deep unconditional love means. We also learn the difference between love and sex.

At your age, you are curious about both, love and sex. I advise you to be cautious. Learn about the person you are interested in before committing your heart or your body to someone.

You are smart and more mature than others of your age. This makes you attractive to older boys. But without experience, it may also be easy for them to manipulate you into doing something you may regret. So, take it slow. You have lots of time, more than you realise.”

The best thing about today was:

A storm! Finally! After almost hitting 40 degrees again, the afternoon skies darkened though it still seemed likely this would be another apparition. Then came the wind and eventually peals of thunder rolled over the mountains bringing precious rain.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The storm picked up and the tall cactus fell over in its pot. The wind was now going sideways and the roof over the entertainment area rattled its objection until finally part of it ripped free clapping against itself as loud as the thunder. I ran to it and tried to hold it down when the wind switched around and blew it flat again but my weak fingers were no match for the power of the storm. As I was grabbing at it my fingers slammed against the metal frame and cold water poured down my arms in the channel my grip was making in the roof. After a couple of minutes of the roof ripping out of my hands, I found a breeze block and pushed it on the frame and part of the roof that was still secure. How was I going to get it on the roof to hold it down though? There was a tiny gap about my finger’s width, if I pulled the roof down again and then I could inch the block over slowly. This took a couple of attempts and it finally seemed to be working. The wind was also dissipating and I caught my breath investigating further damage. The papaya tree was uprooted again, this time in a different direction than last year’s uprooting. The garage gutter reminded me of its dodgy joins leaking over everything in the shed but that was not so unexpected. As the rain trailed off the thunder continued rattling the windows of the house and I came indoors shivering wet, pants completely soaked, covered in leaves and bleeding at the wrist. I did, however, feel invigorated, much like the visit to the waterfall. I took a shower and threw my wet clothes in the washing machine.

Something I learned today?

The proposed 300 baht arrival tax in Thailand has been delayed because wants the money but has been trying to get the airlines to do the work. Rightly, they said it was impossible. Next, the idea was for the hotels to do it. Rightly, they told them to shove it!

What is something I am grateful to have learned recently?

I have been reminded of the tragic lesson of death. I don’t feel grateful for its tap on the shoulder right now but perhaps I will in the future.


I took this picture because P’ti was looking all relaxed and handsome here, as ever, by the door at Utopia. He is fascinated with what is through the window. At what is only briefly accessible. P’ti is about the same age as Kim Chi and we once brought Kim here on the way to the vet where they met each other for a moment. I hope P’ti lives a long life and brings more happiness to the world he inhabits.

I Don’t Know – 28th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We’re making black and white from grey
With all the conflicting information on show
Picking a side of the fence to stay
But the smart thing is to say ‘I don’t know’

22nd Mar 2024 – Submitted to RDP – Liminal

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and tired

Today I’m grateful for:

My new yoga mat which I finally unpacked and used this morning. I only did a quick workout as I woke up with a start with my first alarm and snoozed a bit after that. I’ll not be able to keep the mat out as our cats will eventually pee and puke on it which is what happened with the last two.

The best thing about today was:

A bowl of LungChom coconut ice cream with fresh strawberries, yoghurt and chocolate muesli. Damn, I’m going to have to make sure I workout a lot these days.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I couldn’t stop myself from an afternoon nap even though as I was nodding off whilst reading and telling myself ‘getting up to exercise will stop you from falling asleep’! I’d planned to get the bike cleaned and serviced and go to Daytripper and ended up not even leaving home again!

Something I learned today?

In Denmark women are (or were in the early 2000s) encouraged back into the workforce after their children reached 18 months, sending their kids to care centres. The carers and parents all rationalised this as positive despite all scientific evidence suggesting the outcome is negative for the babies.

What were the highlights of this past month?

This month has been pretty quiet in general. It’s just been work and home. Nothing stands out but as I’ve said before I’m happy with that. No highs mean no lows. And in general, I’m riding above the median and savouring my life.

Anchan took this picture as part of a TikTok video because that’s what kids do. So, being the annoying teacher I am, I photo-bombed her, making fun of her and to her credit, she was completely unfazed and finished her mime song and uploaded it. Maybe I’ll be famous!