Not In The Mood For It – 16th August 2021

I woke up well but things took a turn
The fruit was off and the toast did burn
Driving in the rain was such a chore
The podcaster talking was such a bore
The thought of coffee didn’t improve
This bad mood I was needing to soothe
The big truck guy wouldn’t let me through
Things were getting worse – it’s true
Today’s headaches won’t let me be
But at least the dog was happy to see me
…..
So, coffee consumed, helped a bit
Things weren’t so bad I had to admit
Just plough on through, get on with it
Even if everything returns to shit

Do you know you’re not dead? – 31st December 2019

Amy was in a bad mood yesterday due to PMT. She confided with me today that she is feeling lonely due to her old friends here in Chiang Rai not quite having the same mindset as her so finds them quite difficult to talk to and to understand. Whilst I am fine here in relative isolation, she is finding it quite difficult. She has to rely on me to go and do things together and sometimes I resent not having enough time to myself as I am working all the time.

We both understand each other’s situation well enough but it is also something that Amy needs to address for herself.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the year that I have had. I have grown and adapted to adversity. Hopefully, I can understand my reactions to adversity in the future and deal with it in a less emotional manner.

Rearrange events again – 16th May 1994

A fine interruption in my writing last night, that’s why the above seems a tad unfinished. It’s been a wonderful weekend. At last, I’ve been able to relax a bit and on sunny Sunday (yesterday) rode down to the beach and round Poole and watched videos and messed about and did this and that. My beautiful Broni flakes near midnight but I wouldn’t come to bed – eager to sort out more poems for the next issue of the booklet and this morning my sweet was in such a beautiful foul mood it made us both laugh and I carried on laughing at work till, bloody hell, things start piling up for me too and I’m saying, ‘Ah fuck it, what do I care?’ (in my head at least). And here I am now writing this.

Poems on this day – 22nd September 1988

I Hate The Kids

I hate the kids, they don’t rule
Fuckin’ kids should be kept at school
Make it my decision when they should leave
Make the kids have to believe
That the world is wrong and I am right
That you have to put up a fight
And when you’re doing something for yourself
Make sure it’s helping someone else

Let Me Down

Don’t you ever let me down
I’m sure I would fall apart
Don’t ever leave me now
Because you would break my heart

Wrong

You know those days
Everything seems to go wrong
The world turns upside down
And you don’t seem to belong
TODAY – FEELS LIKE THAT