Nudge – 30th October 2024

Unexpected blossoms
– Sudden purple on blue skies

A gentle reminder
– Life blooms best unscripted, unplanned

Shared with Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt #387 – Unexpected (15 words)
10th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – unexpected


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though a tiny bit more tired than yesterday. I picked up another kicker coffee at Utopia this morning and it has me wound up well.

No classes this morning, so a lot of catching up with students’ videos that they sent to me on Monday. Finally cleared all 100 or so of them!

I did a little bit of reading and writing but not as much as I would like. Things will settle down again soon, though.

Amy messaged me that the fields are being burned already and she is understandably annoyed about it. What can we do, though?

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Baipad bought me a cuddly toy for my birthday, which was very nice of her, as I know that she doesn’t really have any money.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my new class of grade 10s. I know quite a few of them already and I did my best to try and remember some of the others, which was a tough ask in a room full of 47 students.

They all seemed happy and attentive and enjoyed the class, which wasn’t much more than a grammar quiz on tenses.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad messaged me in the afternoon with the news that her little cat had died due to the car hitting her yesterday. I had kinda assumed that that would be the outcome, as she was tiny.

I saw Baipad a bit later and I think that perhaps she had assumed the same outcome too. She may have been sad but had accepted the situation.

Unfortunately, her mum doesn’t really care about any pets and she can’t really afford to have them either.

I feel a little frustrated for this likeable kid that may just end up facing the same struggles with life as her mum. For whatever reason, her mum isn’t able to encourage her growth and development into a strong, independent adult.

I will do what I can, when I can but I feel it may not be enough.

Something I learned today?

With the new class of grade 10s, I asked them who else teaches them and they told me that George teaches them for eight hours a week. I asked them how it was and what they learned, but they looked a little reluctant to say anything, just saying that he talks with them.

While it felt like they didn’t seem happy with his class, I also wondered how they would answer the same question if asked about my class.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I gave some Oasis posters to Art at Utopia this morning, as he is a big fan.

I took this picture because it’s blooming time again.

Castle Contrarian – 29th October 2024

Run away from the zeitgeist
I don’t know what’s going on
And again once it’s caught up
It’s a lifetime on the run

Hiding under self-made shelter
Cocooned in homegrown truth
It’s no conspiracy theory
Or trappings of religious youth

Bored by irrelevant gossip
A talk show in every pub
The drawbridge to my castle
Bars entry into my club

Still sympathetic to the circles
Of a society I’m sat outside
Deliberately contrarian
But sharing my space to hide

Full of personal contradictions
To care and not to care
I don’t know what I’m doing here
Or what you’re doing there

I’m happy inside my castle, in my head, in my home. I welcome others in, especially in sympathy/empathy, but there will always be a time when I will usher them back out in order to be alone again.


Today I’m feeling:

Great so far. It was good to be back amongst the kids again this morning and especially charged up on a quick takeaway coffee from Utopia.

I talked with Kru Mai about fixing up my schedule and I should at least get my Monday and Friday down to six hours of work.

I met with my grade 12s after their three months of internship and assigned them a task to make a video detailing their experiences while I go to see a new ENT specialist at the hospital.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The new ENT specialist I saw today who spoke very good English.

She suggested some different medicine, more for allergies. Probably due to the fact that the problem has been ongoing for about three months now.

The best thing about today was:

A long break between classes, which allowed me to do a bit of catching up with all the work that was submitted to me yesterday.

I still only got about halfway through, though and will have a bit more by tomorrow, as my first class this morning was disrupted as I had to go to the hospital.

I caught up a bit on a backlog of emails, too and hope to have everything back on track by next week. Need to get back into the swing of things with working things out with my new schedule for this semester (when that gets finalised too!)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad just messaged me this evening that her little kitten got hit by a car and a Uni student took her to a vet somewhere.

She’s worried and upset, obviously, but I tried to advise gently that whatever happens next is going to happen, whether we are worried or not.

Her house is right next to the highway and their shop door is often left open during the day. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens a lot.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I gave Mei the earrings I bought in Chiang Mai for her birthday. I can’t be sure if she liked them or not, but she appreciated them anyway.

I tried to help Anchan with some more information about the studio at school but I think she figured out a solution for what she needed anyway.

I took this picture because Nicha and Earn were busy making TikTok videos instead of studying.

Uncle Slaughter – 15th October 2024

Roll up, roll up, it’s the next celebrity President
In our broken project, our failed experiment
Cutting off our faces to spite our noses
Now, we no longer smell of roses

Dear Uncle Slaughter is playing American Roulette
Seeing how much blood from oil he can get
Those colour revolutions are all black and white
And they’re coming home, ready to fight

Without the destroyer, there are no destroyed
Our freedom and democracy never employed
Long decades of lies, living The Big Instead
Until every last inch has been bled

Roll up, roll up, let every lawyer in
If it’s all a game someone has to win
Roll up, roll up, it’s your time to choose
Between the little and nothing you’ve let to lose


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good despite going to bed last night with a sore throat. Thankfully, it seems to be gone today.

I ran around to go to the hospital in the morning and then back at 1pm for the actual appointment, and everything went smoothly and I was feeling good. I decided that I feel good enough to try to cut down on the sertraline and even wonder if I can get off it completely.

I dropped in on Baipad as she was complaining about having to go to her grandparents’ village again, which she hates doing. I told her that she needs to start planning things for herself in the holidays but that will need her to figure out a lot of things first and I think it’s a responsibility that she isn’t comfortable with yet.

When I got home, I started reading and then felt sleepy and my eyes were hurting. I’m pretty sure my eyes are hurting because of my glasses and going to start trying to save money for myself to buy a new pair sometime.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The gardeners, finally cutting up the tree that they killed a couple of years ago and fell down about four or five months back.

The best thing about today was:

Reading some more David Foster Wallace in the waiting rooms at both hospitals today. Also, not watching any video or TV so far (7 pm). I think I can easily cut that right down and enjoy reading much more, or getting more regular guitar practice in.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After getting sleepy in the afternoon, I napped for an hour and a half and felt pretty dismal on waking up again. I tried to motivate myself with a cold shower, which helped for a while, but my eyes started aching again as I drove to the city for my ENT appointment (which ended up being more of the same – medicine, at least for now).

Here’s an example of…. what is it?

At the second hospital visit, there is a place to check in and get your queue number. The place for my appointment, though, is another building, perhaps less than 30 seconds’ walk away. Instead of walking though, there is a golf cart that drops patients off at the building.

As I was late today, I asked if it was ok to walk over but was told ‘please wait a moment’ and sat back down. A moment later and there’s a tap on my shoulder, it’s the driver. I head towards the buggy where there is one other woman already sitting.

We head off and notice that we’re not going straight to the building but into the car park area and we are dropping off the woman at her car. In a straight line, it was less than ten metres from where she was originally waiting!

As the car park is all one way, it means that we have to go all the way around again to get to my building, where I could have been much sooner if I’d walked!

Something I learned today?

Israel has killed a classroom full of children every day for a year. 😢

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I asked Baipad if she still wanted to talk with a psychiatrist but she says she feels better mentally recently. She did say that she would still like to get her general health checked, though.

Perfecting The Eight – 6th October 2024

Here’s the one perfecting the eight-liner
Though some things must be said in twelve
Only enjoying writing the rhymer
And philosophy is the place to delve

Sometimes perfection is found in four
The idea sublimely surmised
Yet feeling obliged to write some more
Until the eight lines are realised


Submitted as a task for AllPoetry’s ‘An Expression of Yourself’ course.

Don’t be Ordinary

This assignment is going to take you beyond your reaches. I want something that you can’t even fathom writing. Go beyond what you think is normal.

Write to be remembered. Don’t write like anyone else… Don’t blend in! It’s okay to be original and shocking. To stir the pot and to poke the balloon and deflate it. Shake things up. Make a name for yourself.

Write a poem that you would want to define your ability. A poem that is read and the person is like… that is “your name here”.

Don’t write a poem where it could be stirred into water and blended in with everyone else.

This was an interesting task. I can look at a couple of other poets who follow their own rules and can be identified by their poetry.

As I’ve been writing for 40 years or so I don’t feel that I have a particularly identifiable style, though now I’m thinking more about it.

I do have a preference of style for my own writing though so I submit the following for now.

I could break my preference (and do sometimes force myself with different forms) but not sure that I could ever reach writing something that I can’t myself fathom…..


Today I’m feeling:

A little sleep-in this morning was good, setting me up for the day.

After a simple yet delicious lunch, I dropped Amy off at the airport as she goes off to Bangkok for a couple of days to meet Fern and Pim.

I decided to take Baipad to practice driving a car, rather than a motorbike, as it’s too hot in the afternoon and she called Fahmai to come too.

We drove around near her house and then up at the Uni and they both did well for never having done it before.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding old reviews of 2000AD issues that I’m reading now, which help me to understand some of the weirder stories. Excellent!

The best thing about today was:

Teaching the kids a little driving, because I could see the confidence in them both growing as they were learning.

Something I learned today?

The CIA posted on Twitter and Facebook, asking for Chinese citizens to become their spies. This was met with a lot of laughter on Chinese social media platforms.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I messaged Baipad to ask how she felt after she did so well with driving and she replied, ‘I feel proud, I think.’ It’s a good start.

Baipad’s cat, Inky. He’s a very chatty cat when he’s awake.

String Along – 5th October 2024

Bow the theory
Draw the threads
Sub concatenation
Monochord spreads
Ribbon weaver
Filament ropes
A ripping yarn
DNA microscopes

– A Cross-wired rhyme

Close the curtain
Tie the laces
A carabiner
Belt and braces
Trussed and twined
Strewn and hung
A dangled cord
Highly strung

Shared with dVerse Quadrille 209 – string


Today I’m feeling:

Good again, though I still have a sticky throat. I’m back at the ENT at Sriburin hospital. Let’s see what they say this time.

No big plans for today. Hope to read, write, play guitar and listen to music when I get home again.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Everyone at the hospital again. A quite quick turnaround with the result of getting some different medicines.

They shoved the camera in my mouth again and things looked better than last time. Though, because it doesn’t feel any better, it means the sticky phlegm is below the voice box and isn’t visible now.

The best thing about today was:

Not worrying about too much of anything. Although I got out of the hospital by 11 and picked up Amy from her eyelash shop, we then had to go to a couple of banks to transfer a wad of cash and they were both very busy.

Then, stopping off for some food for lunch, it ended up being 2 pm by the time we got back, so I didn’t get much reading in or go out to my room to play guitar.

But that’s ok. I’m feel fine with it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When we woke up this morning, Amy came back from the kitchen and said that the baby cow had been stuck in the garden all night last night!

I went and said hello. He’s not afraid of me now and I walked him to near the gate where he stopped to pee. When I opened the gate, Tangmo ran in and was bemused to see the cow there and started barking and running around. I told him to calm down and he started marking territory. He’s so jealous of anyone and anything being around us! The cow chased him a bit and I went back inside for a shower.

I didn’t want to lead the cow out because I couldn’t see his mum nearby and didn’t want him to go wandering off. At least he’s safe in our garden.

When I came out again, the cowman came by and called the baby over and Tangmo went off, too, maybe to make sure that he left.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video about a video game that made me laugh a lot. It is called Squirrel With a Gun and it looked hilarious.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got Noey to talk with Amy this morning about opportunities for her to go to Australia next year.

I offered to take Baipad to practice riding the motorbike some more too. She’s not thrilled because she is lazy and still lacks confidence. I will try to keep pushing her through her defences.

I took this picture because he’s a cutie!

Here You Go Again – 23rd July 2024

So many tombstones for the hydra-headed
The many heads must be better than one
The hallucinations are so deeply embedded
This anarchy and madness has just begun

A choice of two to become King Wizard
Let’s fantasise that all men are born equal
A legacy of dunces believes that a lizard
Was born to be the hero of this sequel

Submitted to RDP Friday – fantasise, Reena’s Xploration Challenge #339 – hydra-headed, Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – madness, Sammi Scribbles Weekend Writing Prompt #373 – anarchy, FOWC with Fandango – tombstone, Word of the Day Challenge – wizard, RDP Sunday – hallucination and inspired by the nonsense of US politics.


Today I’m feeling:

Lazy and tired. I set my alarm for 7 am though woke up before that but slept another hour after turning the alarm off.

As I was brushing my teeth, I wondered why I had stayed up past midnight reading last night. My eyes are aching and having trouble focusing.

I have to get myself going and hopefully these two coffees will do the trick.

Today I’m grateful for:

Struggling through today (see below) and forcing myself out on my bike, to ride all the back roads to Makro to get the last two tubs of yoghurt.  Sold out in two days!  Why don’t they order more?

The best thing about today was:

Getting little bits of everything done.  It doesn’t feel like a productive day, not that they all have to be, but there’s nothing that stands out either.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

By the time of visiting the hospital and seeing the doctor (after an hour of waiting) I was starting to feel a little down.  With the long wait it meant missing my afternoon class too.

I messaged Kru Tang to see if she could fix how to put leave into the system.  She couldn’t help fix it but also said that I should assign work to the students to do in the class time.  I argued that if I have to take leave then I’m not going to assign work that I have to follow up on.  I might as well be there.

I told her I would ask the class to use the opportunity to catch up on other class work and she seemed ok with that.  But still it added to me feeling a bit grumpy and down.

Thankfully, the trip on the motorbike had a positive effect on my mood.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

After getting back from Makro at around 6pm I went over to Baipad’s, taking a syringe and a food stick, to see if she could feed Snow with it.  When I got there, though, Baipad looked totally dejected and became teary.

I asked to see Snow and we went upstairs to where she was.  She looked back to the state that she was in on Sunday, unfortunately and I didn’t see much hope.  Baipad was sobbing by this time.

I hate seeing cats suffer, any animals.  I squeezed a little water into her mouth and rubbed her throat.  She gave a little squeak of recognition but soon dropped her head back down.  I told Baipad to give her a little water every hour or so and give her love and strokes.

Then I came home and fed our two precious boys.

Around 8pm Baipad messaged me that Snow had passed.

I took this picture because this little fella decided to join me on my ride back from Utopia this morning. It has a clear shell that looks like plastic. I’ve never seen anything like it before.

Butterflies – 22nd July 2024

Was it a fantasy? A fair fumble in the past
– Mystical ticks as the clock rewinds
That magical ache in the chest again, at last
– A blood-pumping petition reminds

Gave up reality for frolics in the dark
– Gardenias by day, jasmine by night
Naked in starlight, reignited the spark
– Gladdens the mind from a dark requite

Submitted to No Theme Thursday – the picture above, Moonwashed Musings – mystical and Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – magic
10th Oct 2024 – Shared with What’s Going On – magical


Today I’m feeling:

A little bit weary before coffee but fairly upbeat after.  Will try to get out to my room before watching any TV today, make sure I do things that are pleasurable, though take some effort, rather than just sitting watching the box all day.  Whilst content may be interesting, too much at one time gets boring.

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff at the hospital who gave me advice on when to come back to get my medicine.

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar again for a couple of hours was fun and though my skill seems to have plateaued, I’m starting to understand it a little more deeply.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I went up to the hospital, though only after talking with Hayden about health, which reminded me to see if the psych was there.  Actually, I knew that he was only usually there on Monday mornings, so I wanted to find out if he would be there next Monday, but as today and next Monday are holidays, the department he is in is not open.  It was a vague hope that they would be.

However, a nice member of staff, with reasonable English, told me that he would be there from 1pm tomorrow, so I figured I’d take tomorrow morning off and wait at home until then and go to my afternoon class at 2.30.  I don’t want to have to go back and forth twice tomorrow as I’m short of cash and will need to refill the tank at some stage.

Something I learned today?

Biden steps down as the 2024 US presidential candidate, and civil war there feels like more and more of a possibility.

On a similar note: Jellyfish are not fish; they have no brain, heart, or bones.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I followed up with Baipad about her cat and also with Freya about herself.

I took this picture because finally, our ground is waterlogged again.

Each Dawn – 21st July 2024

I commiserate the death of me
Of everything I used to be
Soon, a forgotten memory
– Considered on occasion

The me that was, been and gone
Wisdom found me with its song
I sought new homes where I belong
– I wish I’d gotten here sooner

So it is with passing friends
In happiness that one pretends
Marching towards our personal ends
– Flowers wilt without water

Reading my own obituary
Wisdom provided sanctuary
This time too, temporary
– Each morning, new life forming

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 57 – Wisdom and What’s Going On – Elegy
23rd Oct 2024 – Shared with Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – pretend


Today I’m feeling:

Tired and sleepy. I must’ve been woken by the gardeners this morning, though I didn’t even realise until I heard shouts of ‘nong Am’ and ‘loong’ outside whilst I was taking a shower. Coffee got me going a bit and I managed to avoid watching TV until lunchtime.

Around that time, though, Baipad messaged saying that her cat had turned up after 4 days and didn’t look good and asked if I would take her to the vet. I had to choose whether to help her or not, knowing that I would have to pay, as her mum refuses to take their pets to the vet (I’m assuming it’s a financial decision on her part).  And I’m really short of money right now too. 

I cracked when she wrote that ‘otherwise I’ll just have to let her go’.  Her cat, Snow, was unable to move and felt very cold. She really looked like she might go at any minute. Baipad was predictably in tears. Anyway, the kids got in the car and we drove down to the vet near the hospital.

They said that she had feline distemper and only a 10% chance. We talked about options, and they said they wanted to put her on saline and give her some medicine and to stay there for a few hours. I agreed and told Baipad that they could figure out what to do after that. I dropped them home after paying a 500 baht deposit and told her to call me to take them back later.

Around 4pm, she messaged me again and said that her mum would go pick up the cat and a little later said that she was home again and was improving with a 50-60% chance of making it.

I was happy to hear that but also found out that her mum had to pay another 800 baht. I told Baipad that she should start thinking of things that she can do to pay her mum back.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vet nearby being open today. As it is a special holiday this weekend, I wasn’t sure that it would be.

The best thing about today was:

I played guitar for a couple of hours and got in touch with Max and Dave about them possibly sending over some tenzenmen stock for distro over there. Hopefully, that will help get some stuff out of my room.

We also had a long, big rain which flooded our lawn for the first time this year. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Due to my lack of money I’m not able to pay the gardener and had to ask Amy to transfer me the money to do it. I’ll have to pay her back next month.

Something I learned today?

I learned about the colonial city of Aden in Yemen and a little about the retreat of the British Empire from there. I’d not heard of it before but searching online it looks like a very interesting place.

I took this picture because Tigger was very much enjoying rolling in his cardboard tray whilst the rain poured outside.

No Sense – 18th July 2024

Each word written down
– On this paper, correlates
A sense of meaning

Each breath without sound
– A soft paper push-around
Sensed in silent thought

Each heartbeat profound
– Brittle paper tissue ripped
No sense of nonsense

Submitted to Monday Poetry Prompt at Living Poetry
24th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – meaning


Posted elsewhere as a response to the prompt:

Do you have any writing rituals?

I have fallen into a habit of writing at a cafe near my school. It’s fairly quiet and with a bit of reading of other people’s writing, I am usually inspired to write a poem or two myself.

The downside to this is that I have found it more difficult to write at other times and so when it is the weekend or school holidays I have to force myself more to find the time and place to write.

I have a blog policy to only have one post a day and have been adding a poem a day for the last three years or so. Up until about six months ago, I was always a week behind with posts but since using many different prompt blogs I’ve managed to get a couple of months ahead, so posts will still keep coming even after I’m gone!

As a writer, I find it important to read as much as possible. Books-wise I pick ones that I am interested in but blog and poetry-wise I’m still refining what interests me, sometimes slogging through poems and prose that doesn’t engage me at all. That is still a lesson for myself though, helping me to define more what it is that I want to say.


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good after a slow start. I wasn’t sure which way things were going to go as I could easily have slept until 10 am given the chance.

However, I was up at 6 am and did a little testing workout and now all Amy’s cookies are gone, I’m slowly losing some weight again!

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Mai organising another two hours for me to teach on Monday morning after having that time freed up with the grade 12 HAP students off for three months training.

Initially, when I approached him about it he said that I could have free time and he was a little surprised when I told him that I didn’t want free time but wanted to teach.

The best thing about today was:

Writing and posting a decent poem that got some nice feedback. I’m starting to feel reasonably competent with my writing and getting feedback certainly helps with that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m still being lazy when I get home from school and just sit watching TV.  I want to push myself more but also understand my body may not be so willing these days.

Something I learned today?

I was reminded that today is my old primary student PunPun’s birthday. I haven’t seen her for four years now and I asked her if she kept in touch with her old classmates and I was surprised to hear that she didn’t contact them at all!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Baipad messaged me talking about flying foxes so I regaled her with information about them in the Royal Botanical Gardens in Sydney. 

She also talked about making art from animal bones and it reminded me of The Black House and I offered to take her and her friends there if they wished.

I took these pictures to send to Jan and told her that we all miss her. As you can see, Apple and Baipad are both suitably unimpressed at having their pictures taken in the morning.

Suddenly, Time Passes – 28th June 2024

A sip on a brandy to warm before bed
All the weekly beers still kept in the shed
Put on another log to keep the fire burning
The grandfather clock chimes our time turning

Another Sunday roast, all sat at the table
A quiet word for all being so grateful
Once were children running around playful
Suddenly, time passes and no longer able

Inspired by Existential Comics 249 and my own formative years living at my grandparents’ house.


Today I’m feeling:

Great (once I got to school).  I skipped exercise this morning and opted for an extra 30 minutes of rest.

Most of this week I’ve been waking up a little before my alarm but today was a sudden jolt and I took the lazy option.  I know that I could’ve pushed through but thought that tonight I would not be able to relax so much as friends and family will be over to celebrate Amy’s birthday.

Once at school, there was a very good feeling as students prepared for Teacher’s Day to pay respect to us (though us farang teachers are not particularly included).

Baipad was back at school and happily showed me all the videos that she had taken at Chiang Mai Zoo.  When I commented that she wasn’t in any videos or pictures she said that she didn’t like having her picture taken.  I was like that too at her age but wish that I had more photos of myself from then.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the well wishes that I got from students throughout today, for Teachers Day.

The best thing about today was:

Dutchie asked me if he could call me P’Shaun instead of Kru Shaun. I didn’t think much about it at the time and said to call me anything except Lung Shaun! 

P’ indicates something along the lines of older brother whilst Lung is uncle (usually associated with being old). 

I wonder what their thinking is behind wanting to call me this but I’m taking it as a positive, that the kids feel that I am more a brother than a teacher.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

We had a nice big party that Amy told me she finished at 3.30 am. I crashed at around 11 pm I think, after having my first alcohol of the year, opening the Glenfiddich that Amy bought for me last year.  The party meant I didn’t do any writing until now (Saturday morning) sitting at Utopia.

Something I learned today?

Bruno talked with Takky about applying for a bachelor’s at MFU. I wonder if he will follow through.

What is my favourite time of day?

My favourite time of day is usually the one that I’m in.  

I try to make the best of whatever the situation may be.  Getting up early for school or to travel, staying up late to read or watch something interesting.  Stinking hot in the classroom or in an air-conned room.  

Day or night, it’s all alright.

August took this picture because she called me over to play selfies.