Tag: Baipad

Dark Sunset – 22nd November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

When did the heart harden?
Turned to stone, dark and rough
Too tough to beg pardon
Too much no longer enough

The buzzing bees have built
Wide walls to the castle
No more red wine spilt
The parts no longer a parcel

And so the keep is locked
The key swallowed by a raven
Flown far from the flocked
To maintain the inner haven

Today I’m feeling:

Ok but not wow. Thinking that my drop in mood yesterday may be because of my reducing my sertraline. It was definitely the feeling I used to have when I couldn’t shake off minor slights.

I slept before 9pm last night and slept well but still not quite up to snuff yet. Let’s see how coffee does for me.

In classes and whilst occupied, I was feeling ok. Now that it is time to slow down, I can feel myself fading fast already.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 12 student, Men, who gave me information about doing translation for mobile games, which I passed on to Baipad.

The best thing about today was:

The fact that it takes me ages to walk around school these days, as everywhere I go, students stop me to talk to me. Finally, I feel accepted when I’m at school.

Why wasn’t it like this forty-five years ago? I obviously know the answer to this but, well, here we are.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There were a few disruptions around the building that I was teaching in this afternoon and I had to quickly find a free classroom to move to for my final class. It was a close thing to keep the momentum going for them to study, because if it took too long, we all would’ve been frustrated and just given up for the afternoon!

As it was, we found one, though the projector didn’t work, so I made it a pretty simple and easy grammar lesson and we still managed to get out early.

Manow took this picture because I was replicating a picture that Fahmai painted of me.

Leaving Here – 21st November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 20 Comments

Silhouettes
In purpled passion
Freedom calls
Life’s tangle
Left far behind, flown away
Branches now laid bare

Shared with Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Tangle and Tanka Tuesday – Shadorma

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but ok. It was a struggle to get up but not too bad once done.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Plenty of parking spaces at the airport this evening. I even managed to park next to the other car here tonight for the family.

The best thing about today was:

In my second class I played along with my naughty students instead of getting upset with them. We were just doing quizzes, so it was quite fun. I wasn’t in the mood for serious work either.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After a fun first class, I was sitting in the cafe and saw a message from Amy saying that she tried calling two times but the phone hung up on her. I never heard anything so I called her back and she seemed annoyed and distracted with her parents buzzing around in the background.

She asked me questions and then didn’t listen to my answers and so she asked them again.

Anyway, I will meet them at the airport in the early evening.

Then I got messages from Nut asking about Namsai’s phone, which I had taken from her in class and she swore badly at me. Nut’s messages were rude and direct (though I can forgive her, as it may just be her poor English).

These two things together, along with a sudden feeling of exhaustion, put me in a bad mood, though. I’m trying to think myself out of it now.

I got out of it by the time of my second class but when I got home, the tiredness overwhelmed me a little more and then problems with playing guitar made me grumpy again.

Now I just want to sleep and then hope to wake up tomorrow in a better state of mind.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I messaged Baipad last night about painting rocks and giving them away and this morning we looked around for some and she took three with her. A little later, she sent me photos of her painted rocks and who she gave them to.

I took this picture of my naughty students lazily doing my quizzes because I was going to use it to threaten them that I would show their homeroom teacher. BB, Namfon, Tulip and Baibua behind the chair. Khawhom jumped out of the way when she saw what I was doing. Ironically, they all blame me for being in trouble because their SchoolBright scores are so low but they have no answer when I ask them why I’m always reducing their scores! They do crack me up most of the time, though.

Canon – 20th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 13 Comments

I have the words within my pages
My knowledge forms your future texts
Amassed wisdom sung from many sages
Collected comforts to which all connects

This power I pass for you to share
The lessons lived easily explain
To conquer chaos and choose to care
To shrink in size or grow to gain

Your personal action accumulates
Eyes sparkle like dancing diamonds
Mixing the messes of made mistakes
Form the future from many islands

Shared with What Do You See #263 and submitted to an AllPoetry assignment about alliteration.

Today I’m feeling:

OK, once I got going. I slept pretty well and my alarm was a bit of a shock. Exercise and a cold shower jazzed me up all right and once at school, it was fun to back around the students, which gave me some positive vibes.

It was a pretty easy day with one grade 12 class (who were more rowdy than usual but still did my work) and a quick grade 10 class that was excellent. I really like that class, but there are 47 of them, and it’s difficult to take time with some individuals that need help more than others.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Deciding to go to Oasis to pick up some dinner. I think I haven’t been there for more than six months now and the food is as delicious as ever.

The best thing about today was:

Being so happy and relaxed after my last class that I was still chatting with students around the school an hour later.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Something I learned today?

I figured out what I was trying to remember yesterday! It was when I was in the bathroom, drying myself off after a shower. Just recently, I noticed that my right nipple is lower than my left! Maybe it’s always been like this – I’m not sure.

Anyway, I was wondering if it might be connected to the pain I have in my right shoulder. Maybe some muscles in there are not quite working properly.

I have a desire for symmetry!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I made Baipad and Q get up and walk this morning – just for a couple of minutes. I talked to Q but he couldn’t understand any English but Baipad translated everything quickly and easily. I told her that she should think about getting into translation work.

Later, in my grade 12 class, Men told me that he does translation for mobile games. Maybe a good contact for Baipad for the future.

When crazy Sarah steals my phone!

It Was Told – 19th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Time out of mind, the rock of ages
The time of our lives was to be had
Foretold on ageing faded pages
Three heads good, foreheads bad

Sands a-trickle made to measure
Losing track as the dawn is cracking
Always racing towards some leisure
Begged and borrowed to be slacking

It’s up, beyond a blue moon hiding
To weave a future, past and pleasant
Dropped stitches will do their biding
When Nick manifests in the present

Shared with No Theme Thursday picture prompt (above) and Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Foretelling

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though my shoulder is hurting a bit, probably from overuse with exercise, hanging and general bad posture.

An easy day at school today, as I will come home for a psych appointment in the afternoon. I’ve given my afternoon class work to do – let’s see if they will actually do it!

For my morning class, only 4 students attended as the others were visting MFU open house today. It was good to be able to sit with so few students (who are all motivated too) and go through a simple lesson with some chitchat and we were all done with 30 minutes to spare.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The hospital system here. I saw the psych and told him I’m doing ok on half a tablet a day, just getting a little dizzy and he said to keep going and gave me some more medicine to keep going. All up it cost me 250 baht – about 10 Aussie dollars.

The best thing about today was:

Having such a simple and straightforward day and being about to go about things at a fairly chill speed.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I played some guitar again but my wrist was straining during the warm-up exercise and I sucked at the song I’m always trying to improve on! Uh! Some days good, some days bad!

Predictably, most of my grade 10 students didn’t bother doing my class work. So annoying, having to constantly chase up students for work!

Something I learned today?

There’s something that keeps crossing my mind to put here but every time I sit down to do it, I can’t remember what it is!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Baipad messaged me last night that she feels tired and bored and doesn’t want to come to school. She seems aware that her days are a little predictable and so this morning I arrived in the canteen where she and her friends always sit and I pulled her out and made her walk with me a little around school.

Whilst she was complaining and fighting me, I was telling her that it’s something different, break her routine and get off the phone. Although she wasn’t particularly impressed, I could see the smile on her face and that she was a bit more lively just after this.

I told her that we will do the same tomorrow and Wawa has to come with us too. Let’s see.

Tonkhaw took this picture of Satang during the class I missed today. Obviously busy…

A Crack In The World – 13th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What version of me did I show you?
Was the impression left in your mind
The enigmatic or the sad and sulky?
Which one would you prefer to find?

I was hiding, desperately
Trying to be anything but myself
To slip through a crack in the world
Leaving an image of someone else

I cross each bridge as I burn it
Wait impatiently for the credits to roll
Each day takes a small part of me
Once put together defines the whole

Inspired by a few paraphrased quotes within.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good after a slightly better sleep last night and waking up with a start to my alarm. Some tough exercise, as eating ice cream for the last three days has increased my weight more than I would like.

It’s weird Wednesday with just one 50-minute class today at 12.40, so lots of sitting around, thinking, reading and writing.

(Later) I let my class catch up with the work that I had asked them to do and started checking those who had finished. In a flash, it was over and done with an exclamation of ‘shit’ when I was told it was time to finish!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The old uncle at the 20 baht shop who let me change over the light bulbs for a different colour and to pay the difference.

He was a bit slow working out the difference to pay, but I let him do it with a calculator and a phone, hoping that he might make a mistake in my favour!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing off the little project of writing 52 mini poems – an idea that I started a couple of months ago.

Though some of them are just little throwaway ideas and ruminations, there are a few that I rate quite highly.

Something I learned today?

It was Mimi’s 16th birthday today. I found out when I entered class and saw a mangled half-eaten cake on the desk! She’s from my new grade 10 class and I haven’t really got to know these new students yet but she seems to be a happy and friendly kid and the work she did today was good.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I dropped by to see Baipad as she was throwing up yesterday and didn’t come to school. She wasn’t there today either but I felt certain that she was feeling better and just being lazy.

I got her to agree to come to school tomorrow and also continued to try to encourage her to do something nice for the boy that she likes.

I took this picture because it’s a tough life for this fat little cafe cat.

Nudge – 30th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Unexpected blossoms
– Sudden purple on blue skies

A gentle reminder
– Life blooms best unscripted, unplanned

Shared with Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt #387 – Unexpected (15 words)
10th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – unexpected

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though a tiny bit more tired than yesterday. I picked up another kicker coffee at Utopia this morning and it has me wound up well.

No classes this morning, so a lot of catching up with students’ videos that they sent to me on Monday. Finally cleared all 100 or so of them!

I did a little bit of reading and writing but not as much as I would like. Things will settle down again soon, though.

Amy messaged me that the fields are being burned already and she is understandably annoyed about it. What can we do, though?

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Baipad bought me a cuddly toy for my birthday, which was very nice of her, as I know that she doesn’t really have any money.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my new class of grade 10s. I know quite a few of them already and I did my best to try and remember some of the others, which was a tough ask in a room full of 47 students.

They all seemed happy and attentive and enjoyed the class, which wasn’t much more than a grammar quiz on tenses.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad messaged me in the afternoon with the news that her little cat had died due to the car hitting her yesterday. I had kinda assumed that that would be the outcome, as she was tiny.

I saw Baipad a bit later and I think that perhaps she had assumed the same outcome too. She may have been sad but had accepted the situation.

Unfortunately, her mum doesn’t really care about any pets and she can’t really afford to have them either.

I feel a little frustrated for this likeable kid that may just end up facing the same struggles with life as her mum. For whatever reason, her mum isn’t able to encourage her growth and development into a strong, independent adult.

I will do what I can, when I can but I feel it may not be enough.

Something I learned today?

With the new class of grade 10s, I asked them who else teaches them and they told me that George teaches them for eight hours a week. I asked them how it was and what they learned, but they looked a little reluctant to say anything, just saying that he talks with them.

While it felt like they didn’t seem happy with his class, I also wondered how they would answer the same question if asked about my class.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I gave some Oasis posters to Art at Utopia this morning, as he is a big fan.

I took this picture because it’s blooming time again.

Castle Contrarian – 29th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Run away from the zeitgeist
I don’t know what’s going on
And again once it’s caught up
It’s a lifetime on the run

Hiding under self-made shelter
Cocooned in homegrown truth
It’s no conspiracy theory
Or trappings of religious youth

Bored by irrelevant gossip
A talk show in every pub
The drawbridge to my castle
Bars entry into my club

Still sympathetic to the circles
Of a society I’m sat outside
Deliberately contrarian
But sharing my space to hide

Full of personal contradictions
To care and not to care
I don’t know what I’m doing here
Or what you’re doing there

I’m happy inside my castle, in my head, in my home. I welcome others in, especially in sympathy/empathy, but there will always be a time when I will usher them back out in order to be alone again.

Today I’m feeling:

Great so far. It was good to be back amongst the kids again this morning and especially charged up on a quick takeaway coffee from Utopia.

I talked with Kru Mai about fixing up my schedule and I should at least get my Monday and Friday down to six hours of work.

I met with my grade 12s after their three months of internship and assigned them a task to make a video detailing their experiences while I go to see a new ENT specialist at the hospital.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The new ENT specialist I saw today who spoke very good English.

She suggested some different medicine, more for allergies. Probably due to the fact that the problem has been ongoing for about three months now.

The best thing about today was:

A long break between classes, which allowed me to do a bit of catching up with all the work that was submitted to me yesterday.

I still only got about halfway through, though and will have a bit more by tomorrow, as my first class this morning was disrupted as I had to go to the hospital.

I caught up a bit on a backlog of emails, too and hope to have everything back on track by next week. Need to get back into the swing of things with working things out with my new schedule for this semester (when that gets finalised too!)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad just messaged me this evening that her little kitten got hit by a car and a Uni student took her to a vet somewhere.

She’s worried and upset, obviously, but I tried to advise gently that whatever happens next is going to happen, whether we are worried or not.

Her house is right next to the highway and their shop door is often left open during the day. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens a lot.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I gave Mei the earrings I bought in Chiang Mai for her birthday. I can’t be sure if she liked them or not, but she appreciated them anyway.

I tried to help Anchan with some more information about the studio at school but I think she figured out a solution for what she needed anyway.

I took this picture because Nicha and Earn were busy making TikTok videos instead of studying.

Uncle Slaughter – 15th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Roll up, roll up, it’s the next celebrity President
In our broken project, our failed experiment
Cutting off our faces to spite our noses
Now, we no longer smell of roses

Dear Uncle Slaughter is playing American Roulette
Seeing how much blood from oil he can get
Those colour revolutions are all black and white
And they’re coming home, ready to fight

Without the destroyer, there are no destroyed
Our freedom and democracy never employed
Long decades of lies, living The Big Instead
Until every last inch has been bled

Roll up, roll up, let every lawyer in
If it’s all a game someone has to win
Roll up, roll up, it’s your time to choose
Between the little and nothing you’ve let to lose

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good despite going to bed last night with a sore throat. Thankfully, it seems to be gone today.

I ran around to go to the hospital in the morning and then back at 1pm for the actual appointment, and everything went smoothly and I was feeling good. I decided that I feel good enough to try to cut down on the sertraline and even wonder if I can get off it completely.

I dropped in on Baipad as she was complaining about having to go to her grandparents’ village again, which she hates doing. I told her that she needs to start planning things for herself in the holidays but that will need her to figure out a lot of things first and I think it’s a responsibility that she isn’t comfortable with yet.

When I got home, I started reading and then felt sleepy and my eyes were hurting. I’m pretty sure my eyes are hurting because of my glasses and going to start trying to save money for myself to buy a new pair sometime.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The gardeners, finally cutting up the tree that they killed a couple of years ago and fell down about four or five months back.

The best thing about today was:

Reading some more David Foster Wallace in the waiting rooms at both hospitals today. Also, not watching any video or TV so far (7 pm). I think I can easily cut that right down and enjoy reading much more, or getting more regular guitar practice in.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After getting sleepy in the afternoon, I napped for an hour and a half and felt pretty dismal on waking up again. I tried to motivate myself with a cold shower, which helped for a while, but my eyes started aching again as I drove to the city for my ENT appointment (which ended up being more of the same – medicine, at least for now).

Here’s an example of…. what is it?

At the second hospital visit, there is a place to check in and get your queue number. The place for my appointment, though, is another building, perhaps less than 30 seconds’ walk away. Instead of walking though, there is a golf cart that drops patients off at the building.

As I was late today, I asked if it was ok to walk over but was told ‘please wait a moment’ and sat back down. A moment later and there’s a tap on my shoulder, it’s the driver. I head towards the buggy where there is one other woman already sitting.

We head off and notice that we’re not going straight to the building but into the car park area and we are dropping off the woman at her car. In a straight line, it was less than ten metres from where she was originally waiting!

As the car park is all one way, it means that we have to go all the way around again to get to my building, where I could have been much sooner if I’d walked!

Something I learned today?

Israel has killed a classroom full of children every day for a year. 😢

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I asked Baipad if she still wanted to talk with a psychiatrist but she says she feels better mentally recently. She did say that she would still like to get her general health checked, though.

Perfecting The Eight – 6th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Here’s the one perfecting the eight-liner
Though some things must be said in twelve
Only enjoying writing the rhymer
And philosophy is the place to delve

Sometimes perfection is found in four
The idea sublimely surmised
Yet feeling obliged to write some more
Until the eight lines are realised

Submitted as a task for AllPoetry’s ‘An Expression of Yourself’ course.

Don’t be Ordinary

This assignment is going to take you beyond your reaches. I want something that you can’t even fathom writing. Go beyond what you think is normal.

Write to be remembered. Don’t write like anyone else… Don’t blend in! It’s okay to be original and shocking. To stir the pot and to poke the balloon and deflate it. Shake things up. Make a name for yourself.

Write a poem that you would want to define your ability. A poem that is read and the person is like… that is “your name here”.

Don’t write a poem where it could be stirred into water and blended in with everyone else.

This was an interesting task. I can look at a couple of other poets who follow their own rules and can be identified by their poetry.

As I’ve been writing for 40 years or so I don’t feel that I have a particularly identifiable style, though now I’m thinking more about it.

I do have a preference of style for my own writing though so I submit the following for now.

I could break my preference (and do sometimes force myself with different forms) but not sure that I could ever reach writing something that I can’t myself fathom…..

Today I’m feeling:

A little sleep-in this morning was good, setting me up for the day.

After a simple yet delicious lunch, I dropped Amy off at the airport as she goes off to Bangkok for a couple of days to meet Fern and Pim.

I decided to take Baipad to practice driving a car, rather than a motorbike, as it’s too hot in the afternoon and she called Fahmai to come too.

We drove around near her house and then up at the Uni and they both did well for never having done it before.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding old reviews of 2000AD issues that I’m reading now, which help me to understand some of the weirder stories. Excellent!

The best thing about today was:

Teaching the kids a little driving, because I could see the confidence in them both growing as they were learning.

Something I learned today?

The CIA posted on Twitter and Facebook, asking for Chinese citizens to become their spies. This was met with a lot of laughter on Chinese social media platforms.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I messaged Baipad to ask how she felt after she did so well with driving and she replied, ‘I feel proud, I think.’ It’s a good start.

Baipad’s cat, Inky. He’s a very chatty cat when he’s awake.

String Along – 5th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Bow the theory
Draw the threads
Sub concatenation
Monochord spreads
Ribbon weaver
Filament ropes
A ripping yarn
DNA microscopes

– A Cross-wired rhyme

Close the curtain
Tie the laces
A carabiner
Belt and braces
Trussed and twined
Strewn and hung
A dangled cord
Highly strung

Shared with dVerse Quadrille 209 – string

Today I’m feeling:

Good again, though I still have a sticky throat. I’m back at the ENT at Sriburin hospital. Let’s see what they say this time.

No big plans for today. Hope to read, write, play guitar and listen to music when I get home again.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Everyone at the hospital again. A quite quick turnaround with the result of getting some different medicines.

They shoved the camera in my mouth again and things looked better than last time. Though, because it doesn’t feel any better, it means the sticky phlegm is below the voice box and isn’t visible now.

The best thing about today was:

Not worrying about too much of anything. Although I got out of the hospital by 11 and picked up Amy from her eyelash shop, we then had to go to a couple of banks to transfer a wad of cash and they were both very busy.

Then, stopping off for some food for lunch, it ended up being 2 pm by the time we got back, so I didn’t get much reading in or go out to my room to play guitar.

But that’s ok. I’m feel fine with it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When we woke up this morning, Amy came back from the kitchen and said that the baby cow had been stuck in the garden all night last night!

I went and said hello. He’s not afraid of me now and I walked him to near the gate where he stopped to pee. When I opened the gate, Tangmo ran in and was bemused to see the cow there and started barking and running around. I told him to calm down and he started marking territory. He’s so jealous of anyone and anything being around us! The cow chased him a bit and I went back inside for a shower.

I didn’t want to lead the cow out because I couldn’t see his mum nearby and didn’t want him to go wandering off. At least he’s safe in our garden.

When I came out again, the cowman came by and called the baby over and Tangmo went off, too, maybe to make sure that he left.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video about a video game that made me laugh a lot. It is called Squirrel With a Gun and it looked hilarious.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got Noey to talk with Amy this morning about opportunities for her to go to Australia next year.

I offered to take Baipad to practice riding the motorbike some more too. She’s not thrilled because she is lazy and still lacks confidence. I will try to keep pushing her through her defences.

I took this picture because he’s a cutie!