Tag: Baipad

Life Is Pain – 29th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

With my demons, I wrestle
While probing fingers point
Storm clouds gather undecided
In search of a swollen joint

Tickled tortures beyond pain
With needles under nails
Washed away on the tides
Of one-too-many fails

Without you, I would no longer exist

Shared with dVerse Quadrille #213 – with

Today I’m feeling:

Good once I got going. I woke up stiff but tried my best with some tough ab exercises (tough for me!).

Lin told me this morning that my tummy was smaller today but I think she was teasing me!

I continued with my grade 8 classes in the same style as yesterday and that all went well (for me at least!)

Finishing off with just half of the students in my grade 11 class – the HAP students, as last week I only taught the J-Biz students and I knew the J-Biz kids could go and do preparation work for the Japan Day next month.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Gui at House contacting me saying that he will open again but he’s starting again at a new location in the city, which is a shame as it will be too far for me to go each day.

It was nice of him to contact me, though and let me know what he’s up to. I think I will try and get out on Tuesdays when I have a four-hour gap between classes. I will go to his new shop and also try a couple of others to see if I can find a nice spot again.

The best thing about today was:

Today was another one of those all-around good days with nothing in particular standing out as better than anything else. I like days like this.

I also think that going back to a full tablet of sertraline has had an immediate effect on my mood. I’m told that it’s such a low dose that it’s not even likely to be doing anything and it’s supposed to take a couple of weeks to take effect and perhaps it’s the placebo effect and all but either way, after just two days back at 50mg, I don’t have any bad feelings or thoughts.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was a little annoying to me to watch George just sitting in a classroom looking at his phone whilst his class were just playing games, doing make-up or messing around. I teach those students too, so I took the opportunity to help a couple of them whose work I didn’t have time to check during my class with them.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

David was getting frustrated with trying to print out his monthly report today and he asked me to help. I ribbed him about using a Windows laptop and even me trying to help didn’t fix the problem.

I asked him to send me the file so I could try it and, of course, it printed properly on the first try.

With my little windfall yesterday, I sent Anchan a little more money to support her.

I’m also trying to encourage Baipad to get back into drawing more, especially as it is something she shares in common with a boy she likes.

When I was coming back in from the cafe, some of my old grade 9 students were kicking a ball around, so I joined them. Next to us was another group of students also kicking a ball around.

Kru Ell was navigating her way between the two groups when the other group’s ball accidentally hit her on the head and hands, knocking her glasses off and spilling her drink to the ground.

The boys were super apologetic and I got the one boy who had kicked the ball to quickly go back into the cafe and get her another drink. Kru Ell’s glasses were ok and she was more shocked than anything – she didn’t blame the kids.

Toey took this picture of Baipad because they met after school tonight. I think she sent it to me to show how happy she was to meet him! Young romance.

The Modal Headline – 25th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Learning what to ignore
Can lead to learning more
Is this really news?
It may be just for views

Does the banner fright me?
Is it true? It might be!
You must stand up to defend
Cos this could be the end

Any should or would
Could be understood
What it means to kill
It will, it will!

Any headline and byline using modal verbs can safely be ignored as news.

Today I’m feeling:

A bit anxious and overexcited for some reason. I woke up, did exercise and everything, all feeling good but then something compelled me to drive fast to work when it really wasn’t that necessary.

Once at school, I relaxed and enjoyed chatting with the students and my first class was fine. The second, though (grade 8s), was very frustrating with kids playing dumb, sleeping or distracting others.

I gave up and set them a small task and waited for them to complete it so they could go. The kids playing up didn’t bother and rather than getting frustrated, I just let them do what they want.

I shouldn’t stress myself over it.

Health:

Physical: 8
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

One of the ladies in the office where the photocopier is. I didn’t bring any paper with me and it soon ran out in the machine. I went into the office and asked if they had more, but the first two replies were negative.

I kinda shrugged ‘ok’ and went back in to get my bag, but another lady followed me and pulled out a fresh slab of A4 from a box (so they obviously knew that they had some but didn’t want to supply it). I was grateful for her help.

We are a school that wastes tons of paper printing nonsense every day, yet isn’t keen on its teachers printing out worksheets!

The best thing about today was:

My frustrating morning class made me take some time to write up some new lessons this afternoon in the teacher’s room.

From there, I could see George teaching in the room opposite and I was surprised when the students started leaving, almost 40 minutes early.

I’m not sure whether to be bothered by him not teaching his full-length classes (he always arrives late to class too) or to figure that I should relax myself more in my own classes. I know I should give myself the opportunity to chill about it but also feel an obligation to do my best for my students.

Anyway, the day provided me with some inspiration as I put together some slides and did some printing.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My mood was a bit up and down again today and I’m thinking to go back to my full dose of sertraline again. It’s not worth feeling like this just to try and stop taking it, really, with the only purpose to see if I can.

I have a half tomorrow and then will go back to a full pill again on Wednesday.

Something I learned today?

As I was going to my first class in the morning, I found Baipad talking with Cake. I didn’t know that they knew each other but they met during the last time they had scout week.

I told Baipad why I thought Cake was the smartest student I’ve had the pleasure of teaching and advised to stay around with her if and when she can.

I took this picture because Cap has secured a new spot, for a while, at least. Could he be a bookshop cat? I don’t think so.

Peripheral Vision – 24th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It was only a moment ago
the skies spoke to you the possibilities
wider and deeper than a young mind could conceive

Then, as if to ruin the show
came the treadmill of responsibilities
now a raging river to erode all that you did believe

Do you see it standing there?
A black doorway in peripheral vision
a slow beckoning of danger, awesome and ajar!

Will it lead to a new life somewhere
and are you ready for this decision?
Where else to go once you’ve already come this far?

Inspired by a part of this article in The London Review of Books called Gloves on by Anne Carson, discussing dealing with Parkinson’s.

Today I’m feeling:

Awake but blurry. I woke aching before my alarm went off and got up and read a little before coming out for coffee. My eyes are tired and blurry, though, having trouble focusing.

Still, it’s a nice, refreshing day and I was thinking I might take Baipad and Namhom up to the stupa as they told me that they’d never been there before, which is weird to me.

By the age of 15, I, and all the other kids in the village had explored all our countryside for miles around.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s dad for making vegetable stew for us. Amy brought it back last night. She said that her dad is getting quite grumpy these days and I wondered if it has anything to do with the fact that he’s feeling better after dealing with his cancer but still not able to get back to drinking yet.

The best thing about today was:

Doing as planned and taking Baipad and Namhom up the hill where they’d not been before. Namhom seemed particularly impressed with seeing new things with her nine-year-old, curious eyes.

They both were quite chatty and I think they were happy to get out of their home, even if it was only for half an hour.

Baipad’s mum said she will invite me to go to their tribal village next time there is an event there.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

YouTube’s ads are getting so annoying that I’m just not bothering to watch as much as before. Good. Thanks, YouTube!

Something I learned today?

I got served an ad for briskteaching.com that uses AI to help teachers. I read some reviews, some positive, others not so, so I bookmarked it to check out later.

Dark Sunset – 22nd November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

When did the heart harden?
Turned to stone, dark and rough
Too tough to beg pardon
Too much no longer enough

The buzzing bees have built
Wide walls to the castle
No more red wine spilt
The parts no longer a parcel

And so the keep is locked
The key swallowed by a raven
Flown far from the flocked
To maintain the inner haven

Today I’m feeling:

Ok but not wow. Thinking that my drop in mood yesterday may be because of my reducing my sertraline. It was definitely the feeling I used to have when I couldn’t shake off minor slights.

I slept before 9pm last night and slept well but still not quite up to snuff yet. Let’s see how coffee does for me.

In classes and whilst occupied, I was feeling ok. Now that it is time to slow down, I can feel myself fading fast already.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 12 student, Men, who gave me information about doing translation for mobile games, which I passed on to Baipad.

The best thing about today was:

The fact that it takes me ages to walk around school these days, as everywhere I go, students stop me to talk to me. Finally, I feel accepted when I’m at school.

Why wasn’t it like this forty-five years ago? I obviously know the answer to this but, well, here we are.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There were a few disruptions around the building that I was teaching in this afternoon and I had to quickly find a free classroom to move to for my final class. It was a close thing to keep the momentum going for them to study, because if it took too long, we all would’ve been frustrated and just given up for the afternoon!

As it was, we found one, though the projector didn’t work, so I made it a pretty simple and easy grammar lesson and we still managed to get out early.

Manow took this picture because I was replicating a picture that Fahmai painted of me.

Leaving Here – 21st November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 20 Comments

Silhouettes
In purpled passion
Freedom calls
Life’s tangle
Left far behind, flown away
Branches now laid bare

Shared with Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Tangle and Tanka Tuesday – Shadorma

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but ok. It was a struggle to get up but not too bad once done.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Plenty of parking spaces at the airport this evening. I even managed to park next to the other car here tonight for the family.

The best thing about today was:

In my second class I played along with my naughty students instead of getting upset with them. We were just doing quizzes, so it was quite fun. I wasn’t in the mood for serious work either.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After a fun first class, I was sitting in the cafe and saw a message from Amy saying that she tried calling two times but the phone hung up on her. I never heard anything so I called her back and she seemed annoyed and distracted with her parents buzzing around in the background.

She asked me questions and then didn’t listen to my answers and so she asked them again.

Anyway, I will meet them at the airport in the early evening.

Then I got messages from Nut asking about Namsai’s phone, which I had taken from her in class and she swore badly at me. Nut’s messages were rude and direct (though I can forgive her, as it may just be her poor English).

These two things together, along with a sudden feeling of exhaustion, put me in a bad mood, though. I’m trying to think myself out of it now.

I got out of it by the time of my second class but when I got home, the tiredness overwhelmed me a little more and then problems with playing guitar made me grumpy again.

Now I just want to sleep and then hope to wake up tomorrow in a better state of mind.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I messaged Baipad last night about painting rocks and giving them away and this morning we looked around for some and she took three with her. A little later, she sent me photos of her painted rocks and who she gave them to.

I took this picture of my naughty students lazily doing my quizzes because I was going to use it to threaten them that I would show their homeroom teacher. BB, Namfon, Tulip and Baibua behind the chair. Khawhom jumped out of the way when she saw what I was doing. Ironically, they all blame me for being in trouble because their SchoolBright scores are so low but they have no answer when I ask them why I’m always reducing their scores! They do crack me up most of the time, though.

Canon – 20th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 13 Comments

I have the words within my pages
My knowledge forms your future texts
Amassed wisdom sung from many sages
Collected comforts to which all connects

This power I pass for you to share
The lessons lived easily explain
To conquer chaos and choose to care
To shrink in size or grow to gain

Your personal action accumulates
Eyes sparkle like dancing diamonds
Mixing the messes of made mistakes
Form the future from many islands

Shared with What Do You See #263 and submitted to an AllPoetry assignment about alliteration.

Today I’m feeling:

OK, once I got going. I slept pretty well and my alarm was a bit of a shock. Exercise and a cold shower jazzed me up all right and once at school, it was fun to back around the students, which gave me some positive vibes.

It was a pretty easy day with one grade 12 class (who were more rowdy than usual but still did my work) and a quick grade 10 class that was excellent. I really like that class, but there are 47 of them, and it’s difficult to take time with some individuals that need help more than others.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Deciding to go to Oasis to pick up some dinner. I think I haven’t been there for more than six months now and the food is as delicious as ever.

The best thing about today was:

Being so happy and relaxed after my last class that I was still chatting with students around the school an hour later.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Something I learned today?

I figured out what I was trying to remember yesterday! It was when I was in the bathroom, drying myself off after a shower. Just recently, I noticed that my right nipple is lower than my left! Maybe it’s always been like this – I’m not sure.

Anyway, I was wondering if it might be connected to the pain I have in my right shoulder. Maybe some muscles in there are not quite working properly.

I have a desire for symmetry!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I made Baipad and Q get up and walk this morning – just for a couple of minutes. I talked to Q but he couldn’t understand any English but Baipad translated everything quickly and easily. I told her that she should think about getting into translation work.

Later, in my grade 12 class, Men told me that he does translation for mobile games. Maybe a good contact for Baipad for the future.

When crazy Sarah steals my phone!

It Was Told – 19th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Time out of mind, the rock of ages
The time of our lives was to be had
Foretold on ageing faded pages
Three heads good, foreheads bad

Sands a-trickle made to measure
Losing track as the dawn is cracking
Always racing towards some leisure
Begged and borrowed to be slacking

It’s up, beyond a blue moon hiding
To weave a future, past and pleasant
Dropped stitches will do their biding
When Nick manifests in the present

Shared with No Theme Thursday picture prompt (above) and Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Foretelling

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though my shoulder is hurting a bit, probably from overuse with exercise, hanging and general bad posture.

An easy day at school today, as I will come home for a psych appointment in the afternoon. I’ve given my afternoon class work to do – let’s see if they will actually do it!

For my morning class, only 4 students attended as the others were visting MFU open house today. It was good to be able to sit with so few students (who are all motivated too) and go through a simple lesson with some chitchat and we were all done with 30 minutes to spare.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The hospital system here. I saw the psych and told him I’m doing ok on half a tablet a day, just getting a little dizzy and he said to keep going and gave me some more medicine to keep going. All up it cost me 250 baht – about 10 Aussie dollars.

The best thing about today was:

Having such a simple and straightforward day and being about to go about things at a fairly chill speed.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I played some guitar again but my wrist was straining during the warm-up exercise and I sucked at the song I’m always trying to improve on! Uh! Some days good, some days bad!

Predictably, most of my grade 10 students didn’t bother doing my class work. So annoying, having to constantly chase up students for work!

Something I learned today?

There’s something that keeps crossing my mind to put here but every time I sit down to do it, I can’t remember what it is!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Baipad messaged me last night that she feels tired and bored and doesn’t want to come to school. She seems aware that her days are a little predictable and so this morning I arrived in the canteen where she and her friends always sit and I pulled her out and made her walk with me a little around school.

Whilst she was complaining and fighting me, I was telling her that it’s something different, break her routine and get off the phone. Although she wasn’t particularly impressed, I could see the smile on her face and that she was a bit more lively just after this.

I told her that we will do the same tomorrow and Wawa has to come with us too. Let’s see.

Tonkhaw took this picture of Satang during the class I missed today. Obviously busy…

A Crack In The World – 13th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What version of me did I show you?
Was the impression left in your mind
The enigmatic or the sad and sulky?
Which one would you prefer to find?

I was hiding, desperately
Trying to be anything but myself
To slip through a crack in the world
Leaving an image of someone else

I cross each bridge as I burn it
Wait impatiently for the credits to roll
Each day takes a small part of me
Once put together defines the whole

Inspired by a few paraphrased quotes within.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good after a slightly better sleep last night and waking up with a start to my alarm. Some tough exercise, as eating ice cream for the last three days has increased my weight more than I would like.

It’s weird Wednesday with just one 50-minute class today at 12.40, so lots of sitting around, thinking, reading and writing.

(Later) I let my class catch up with the work that I had asked them to do and started checking those who had finished. In a flash, it was over and done with an exclamation of ‘shit’ when I was told it was time to finish!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The old uncle at the 20 baht shop who let me change over the light bulbs for a different colour and to pay the difference.

He was a bit slow working out the difference to pay, but I let him do it with a calculator and a phone, hoping that he might make a mistake in my favour!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing off the little project of writing 52 mini poems – an idea that I started a couple of months ago.

Though some of them are just little throwaway ideas and ruminations, there are a few that I rate quite highly.

Something I learned today?

It was Mimi’s 16th birthday today. I found out when I entered class and saw a mangled half-eaten cake on the desk! She’s from my new grade 10 class and I haven’t really got to know these new students yet but she seems to be a happy and friendly kid and the work she did today was good.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I dropped by to see Baipad as she was throwing up yesterday and didn’t come to school. She wasn’t there today either but I felt certain that she was feeling better and just being lazy.

I got her to agree to come to school tomorrow and also continued to try to encourage her to do something nice for the boy that she likes.

I took this picture because it’s a tough life for this fat little cafe cat.

Nudge – 30th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Unexpected blossoms
– Sudden purple on blue skies

A gentle reminder
– Life blooms best unscripted, unplanned

Shared with Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt #387 – Unexpected (15 words)
10th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – unexpected

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though a tiny bit more tired than yesterday. I picked up another kicker coffee at Utopia this morning and it has me wound up well.

No classes this morning, so a lot of catching up with students’ videos that they sent to me on Monday. Finally cleared all 100 or so of them!

I did a little bit of reading and writing but not as much as I would like. Things will settle down again soon, though.

Amy messaged me that the fields are being burned already and she is understandably annoyed about it. What can we do, though?

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Baipad bought me a cuddly toy for my birthday, which was very nice of her, as I know that she doesn’t really have any money.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my new class of grade 10s. I know quite a few of them already and I did my best to try and remember some of the others, which was a tough ask in a room full of 47 students.

They all seemed happy and attentive and enjoyed the class, which wasn’t much more than a grammar quiz on tenses.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad messaged me in the afternoon with the news that her little cat had died due to the car hitting her yesterday. I had kinda assumed that that would be the outcome, as she was tiny.

I saw Baipad a bit later and I think that perhaps she had assumed the same outcome too. She may have been sad but had accepted the situation.

Unfortunately, her mum doesn’t really care about any pets and she can’t really afford to have them either.

I feel a little frustrated for this likeable kid that may just end up facing the same struggles with life as her mum. For whatever reason, her mum isn’t able to encourage her growth and development into a strong, independent adult.

I will do what I can, when I can but I feel it may not be enough.

Something I learned today?

With the new class of grade 10s, I asked them who else teaches them and they told me that George teaches them for eight hours a week. I asked them how it was and what they learned, but they looked a little reluctant to say anything, just saying that he talks with them.

While it felt like they didn’t seem happy with his class, I also wondered how they would answer the same question if asked about my class.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I gave some Oasis posters to Art at Utopia this morning, as he is a big fan.

I took this picture because it’s blooming time again.

Castle Contrarian – 29th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Run away from the zeitgeist
I don’t know what’s going on
And again once it’s caught up
It’s a lifetime on the run

Hiding under self-made shelter
Cocooned in homegrown truth
It’s no conspiracy theory
Or trappings of religious youth

Bored by irrelevant gossip
A talk show in every pub
The drawbridge to my castle
Bars entry into my club

Still sympathetic to the circles
Of a society I’m sat outside
Deliberately contrarian
But sharing my space to hide

Full of personal contradictions
To care and not to care
I don’t know what I’m doing here
Or what you’re doing there

I’m happy inside my castle, in my head, in my home. I welcome others in, especially in sympathy/empathy, but there will always be a time when I will usher them back out in order to be alone again.

Today I’m feeling:

Great so far. It was good to be back amongst the kids again this morning and especially charged up on a quick takeaway coffee from Utopia.

I talked with Kru Mai about fixing up my schedule and I should at least get my Monday and Friday down to six hours of work.

I met with my grade 12s after their three months of internship and assigned them a task to make a video detailing their experiences while I go to see a new ENT specialist at the hospital.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The new ENT specialist I saw today who spoke very good English.

She suggested some different medicine, more for allergies. Probably due to the fact that the problem has been ongoing for about three months now.

The best thing about today was:

A long break between classes, which allowed me to do a bit of catching up with all the work that was submitted to me yesterday.

I still only got about halfway through, though and will have a bit more by tomorrow, as my first class this morning was disrupted as I had to go to the hospital.

I caught up a bit on a backlog of emails, too and hope to have everything back on track by next week. Need to get back into the swing of things with working things out with my new schedule for this semester (when that gets finalised too!)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Baipad just messaged me this evening that her little kitten got hit by a car and a Uni student took her to a vet somewhere.

She’s worried and upset, obviously, but I tried to advise gently that whatever happens next is going to happen, whether we are worried or not.

Her house is right next to the highway and their shop door is often left open during the day. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens a lot.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I gave Mei the earrings I bought in Chiang Mai for her birthday. I can’t be sure if she liked them or not, but she appreciated them anyway.

I tried to help Anchan with some more information about the studio at school but I think she figured out a solution for what she needed anyway.

I took this picture because Nicha and Earn were busy making TikTok videos instead of studying.