Am I sitting down yet? Are my feet touching the floor? No recognition of reality Is it worth existing anymore Am I breathing air? Is blood pumping through my veins? No recognition of a life itself No usefulness remains
*inspired by a story from Seneca
You determine the quality of your mind by the nature of your daily thoughts.
Robert Greene, Daily Laws
Today I’m feeling: Happy but a little on edge Today I’m grateful for: Our air fryer which nicely cooked the Hainan ginger fake chicken I ate for dinner with rice and cucumber (to counter the hot chilli sauce dressing). Amy has made me 3 servings to freeze for when she has gone too. I suppose I could learn to use the fryer too but I just don’t bother cooking by myself. The best thing about today was: Undoubtedly, both my classes which I took a very relaxed attitude towards whilst still having the kids semi-engaged with activities. Even the kids that get annoyed with me did some work and seemed to enjoy what we were doing. Some days I love them all. Today was one of those days. Tomorrow should be too. One class making Christmas cards and another two just doing online quizzes and then it’s the weekend again (finally – last night I thought it would be Friday today until I realised it wouldn’t and felt the energy drain out of me!) What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Amy is grumpy today, maybe PMT, so I’m trying to not bite at her and let it pass. I’m not always successful and she got angry when I misheard her about something and reacted badly. I let it blow over and apologised for misunderstanding and just tried to carry on as if nothing happened. I don’t think we’ll have good communication for the rest of the night, so let it lie and wake up tomorrow to a brand new sunny day, or at least we get to start again. Something I learned today? Hayden has Covid again. Hopefully, it’s not as bad as the first time and he recovers soon. I messaged Ellen too, who I haven’t been in contact with for about six months and since China relaxed their lockdown policy a couple of weeks ago, she and many of her clients got Covid too. I think China’s tough covid policy was the best way to deal with it and hopefully, now the virus is weaker there will be fewer deaths from infections. It’s amazing to me that other countries didn’t take it as seriously. What tattoo do you want and where would you put it? The next tattoo I get will be some Cardiacs lyrics on my right calf. I also want to get a Boognish tattoo but not quite sure where yet. Still thinking about the weird Trumans Water Spasm Smash cover too.
Between one form of consciousness And another Hold no fear for this deathlike sensation Meditate on it, let it inspire See it for what it is Explore it with your full imagination
*inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws
The whole world is a series of miracles, but we’re so used to them we call them ordinary things.
Hans Christian Andersen
Today I’m feeling: Happy and relaxed Today I’m grateful for: Working at a stall where Christmas party gifts were available to students and I could swipe extra swag and be a little Santa myself and deliver candy to students of mine that I came across. The best thing about today was: A pleasant relaxing drive up to Doi Mae Salong, this time, finally, with Amy. It’s a good time of year temperature wise but with rainy season a memory, the views were quite obscured with smoke. Still, we got some nice pictures of the temple up around the back of the town, which our little car struggled to get to but I had faith. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? With the Christmas party at school today I was suddenly asked yesterday to help at one of the stalls. I was hoping to be able to quickly leave and go and chill with coffee before heading home early but that became unlikely. So, I kept a good attitude and had a lot of fun with all the kids. Time went quickly and I enjoyed it so much that it was easy to transition into driving up into the mountains rather than complaining to stay home and relax. Something I learned today? Today feels like only a minor software update. I’ve been trying to think for the last 15 minutes but struggling to find anything new that I learned, just additional pieces of information to add to existing knowledge. I guess through listening to the Oh Brother podcast I did learn some early 80s Manchester punk scene trivia. It’s probably not life-changing at my age. Who are your favourite artists? Musicians and comic book artists are numerous. When it comes to traditional painting art though I really don’t know anything. I do recognise paintings that attract me but never enough to identify with a specific artist. I think I don’t hold painting in the same regard as music and comics. It doesn’t take me on a journey and my thinking is not skilled or deep enough to contemplate.
It’s a crowded room full of screaming And I’m feeling out of control I wish I was only bad-dreaming As I’m sinking into this hole
I gotta leave here quick Or something’s gonna blow Not sure what’ll do the trick I don’t know, I don’t know
Temperature rising to the max Smoke coming out my ears Gotta face up to the facts Or it’s gonna end in tears
Ran myself out the door Before I got to blow I can’t do this anymore I know, I know
How you confront difficulties with determine your fate.
Robert Greene, Daily Laws
Today I’m feeling: Happy and satisfied Today I’m grateful for: Working for most of the day. Some days I’m happy to only have two classes (4 hours) and can relax and then sometimes on days like this with three classes (6 hours) I can feel happy and achieving something too. It helped that I’d planned well and that the students were in pretty good moods. The best thing about today was: Taking time to be one on one with some of the poorer or quieter students in my last class and seeing them start to understand more about what I’m asking them to do. It’s a little frustrating that some students get left behind in the melee of the full class especially when they can do the work if they take the time to understand. The pull of the crowd is strong though. Daily thought Do you have any hopes or fears? I do but I don’t put much stock in them. For instance, I hope Amy can come back here and find some happiness and something to occupy her time effectively and I have some fear of packing up and moving back to Australia (fear of the logistics and effort) but at the same time I know that whatever happens everything will be ok. So I would downgrade fear and hope to preferences. What do you think of the idea of living forever? Just about everyone ponders this idea at one time or another. I first did after watching the first Highlander film or reading The Sandman and was quite into the idea. I once thought aloud that I would live to 300 which seems a little more reasonable. But to live forever means to live beyond the existence of the universe and forever would not just be a long time but would make our universe’s existence like just a pinprick in time. That does not seem amusing. Perhaps the joy of our lives is knowing that they will not last and why I enjoy the excitement and wonder of my students with whom I can still share in their dreams. I hope they can all find some satisfaction in their own lives.
Sometimes bad weather seems better Maybe you’ve got no coin in the game A baby born without hope to survive Maybe rooting for us just the same Take a shot at the moving target And it becomes the best you’ve ever done Everyone has forgotten your name But to us, you’re the one that won
Run in the opposite direction of any expert or guru proclaiming to possess a secret formula for success of power.
Robert Greene, the Daily Laws
Today I’m grateful for: A weekend of being able to watch the AFL. Four amazing first-round finals. All of them were fantastic thrilling games and they reminded me of weekends of drinking and hangovers in Australia. Winters of football and summers of cricket. The best thing about today was: A big drink of cold water at about 8pm. Today has not been very eventful but that water sure made an impression. No doubt I will be reminded of it at about 3am too!
Boris knew he was the one But refused the offer many times Only when it was insisted Did he fall in with the signs And George, he was the same Saying he didn’t want to lead He kept saying no, no, no Until he finally agreed It’s a thinking man’s game So be most suspicious It’s a clever way to play To seem so unambitious
paraphrasing Robert Greene’s Daily Laws for 20th May
Education is an imperfect shield against custom and tradition. In some ways, you may judge us still to be a little backward.
A bloodied book lies open On stained sheets A laptop locked from prying eyes A still-warm seat The dank smell of cigarettes Hangs on the curtains A tumbler of gin spices the nose A rusty brown-edged mirror Reflects the world inside No moving pictures Memories remain quiet here A silent overwhelming A sharpened pencil Two elastic bands and a comb Knocked to the floor A story happened here That’s happening no more
If you yearn for power, quickly lay honesty aside, and train yourself in the art of concealing your intentions.