I am so happy and grateful for my view of the mountains. I could be looking at concrete but I’m lucky enough to have the countryside.
To-do list
Do more weights and stretching
Send card to Fern
Find out about wooden masks
Speak little – listen more ½
Smile – do something nice for someone ½
Despite wanting to do more weight work both my elbows are feeling very dodgy so decided to give it a miss. I did go to my room but very specifically just to read some of my book and I didn’t think about doing any other things.
I caught myself just in time this morning as I was at the point of arguing about another stupid school admin request. I did complain a little but stopped myself before going too far. I’m not sure if Champ felt the same though. He knew his request would mean doing double work for no real reason but that’s what he’s been asked to do. We pretty much worked out a compromise though. I think it probably ended up causing him extra rather than us.
I’m starting to feel relaxed here and George is a constant reminder about how easy everything is. I’m trying to believe it.
Music from The Cavedwellers, Circus Brekovic, Deerhoof, Descendents, Gregory Isaacs, The Milkshakes, Queen, Didjits, Octafish, Elvis Costello, Emporer Yes, Althea and Donna, The Soul Owners, White Blacula and This Heat.
Weight: 79.0kg Resting heart rate: 48
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for being able to sit on this plane. To be able to afford to visit my friends. And for having a home to return to.
To-do list
Meditate on the plane – reflect on these days ✅
Please try to stay calm when back ✅
Wear mask all day ✅
Finish reading book ✅
Take some photos
It’s Tuesday as I write. Getting back was equally emotional and equally flat. I felt numb. Amy is angry at the inconvenience that my trip has now caused us. She’s not so much upset with me as upset with the situation.
I drank a couple of whiskies and fell into a deep 12-hour-long sleep. I got up for lunch and fell back asleep again for the afternoon, got up for dinner and then went back to sleep around 9 pm.
Now it’s Tuesday morning and everything still feels flat. The situation with the virus is looking increasingly likely to postpone the WDS tour which meaning losing all the money on our flights in South East Asia. That’s the situation now and what we have to deal with.
Amy and I are stuck at home for another 12 days. I don’t anticipate any illness from the virus so we just have to wait and carry on as best we can.
This morning’s breakfast was interrupted by a special cat delivery of a small baby bird. Once extracted from her mouth the bird attempted to fly away but couldn’t get too far. Some missing feathers, some blood and maybe a broken wing. Better the delivery was already dead. Now we will guiltily try to nurse this baby back to health or comfort it to its demise.
When bleeding lizards and frogs are delivered we simply throw them back in the long grass. What makes us more sympathetic towards some animals over others? In the same way, meat eaters think it’s disgusting to eat cats and dogs. Why I can justify eating fish to myself?
On returning home in the afternoon, the baby bird had indeed demised. The killer (pictured above in gentler days) strutted around oblivious to Amy’s admonishments and sadness. It was dinner time. “Feed me!”
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to see the sunrise over the hills. This morning I videoed it for a couple of minutes. It was beautiful.
To-do list
Always keep a look out for photo opportunities ½
Finish week 5 Coursera ½
Write new blog post ✅
Buy a small cutting knife somewhere
3 acts of kindness ½
After waking up feeling reasonably well, doing some squats and meditation, I enjoyed my breakfast and videoed the sunrise.
I felt a little dizzy but nothing too bad. I sat down at my desk at school and without even realising, sat reading, coughing and sneezing all the while. Kru Noon gave me some ginger and lemongrass tea and honey and lemon water for which I was grateful. However, my symptoms just got worse along with an annoying headache.
As I was at school already I decided to do my lessons and go to the doctor and get checked up at 2.30 pm. My first lesson deteriorated and I totally lost my temper with the class. It had the desired effect of shutting them up for a bit but I don’t think it served any of us very well.
I calmed down for the next two classes but couldn’t wait to leave. The doctor said it’s just a common cold and gave me some medicine but I decided not to go to school tomorrow as I have to be well to drive to Chiang Mai on Friday. So, all alarms off and time for a good sleep, hopefully.
I got some bits and pieces done today but just ended up watching a movie when I got home. It was Burden of Dreams. The story of the making of Fitzcarraldo. Both films are great and it’s amazing how the story of the movie is replicated in real life.
Where can I add more fun to my life? What is the purpose of my life? (Why you do something or why something exists?)
SAY IT ALOUD
Gratitude – Thank you, thank you Forgiveness – It’s OK, it’s OK Curiosity – that’s interesting, that’s interesting
THE GOAL OF LIFE
The goal of life is virtue. Virtue is the only true good. ‘Excellence’ (arête) of character. What’s healthy/beneficial = what’s honourable/praiseworthy. “Living in agreement with Nature”
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I don’t give in to my impulses (all the time). Despite being tired this morning I will go to the gym as I challenged myself to yesterday.
I think sometimes people are afraid to be happy or to let go.
Lorraine Robertson
To-do list
Go to the gym in the morning ✅
Finish writing to Chrissie ✅
Start editing TCRAH #25
Draw one of our cats (find some videos on drawing cats)
Savour things for longer
Started off well by pushing through tiredness and going to the gym.
Came back and started finishing off my email to Chrissie which I put a bit of extra thought into and only ended up completing after lunch just before teaching, which then pretty much turned into being dinnertime. I did continue sorting things in my room though. I also remembered to call Hayden but he didn’t pick up.
This coming week should be very cruisy as for 4 days we are playing adjective bingo with different groups of students.
Tomorrow I’ll get a list of students who would like to do extra work so I should prepare that for the following week.
After school I will also go to TLC and have a chat with Nancy about different options for next semester. With George’s advice I’ll also tell her about what has happened with Jimmy.
I don’t really consider anything I must do. There are things I would like to do but not must.
The major events previously in my life I didn’t really consider as things I must do but I was motivated enough to make them happen ie separation, travelling to China, moving to Australia, and Thailand.
Anything I must do seems to relate to things I have chosen to do for other people so I must do them as promised. The motivation is external, from a drive that was internal.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful when the weather is cool. Sometimes it feels too cold but then I remember how unbearable the rest of the year can be. Today I have cold ears and I like it.
The nature of the universe consists in perpetual change and so this process is natural and good.
Donald Robertson on Meditations
To-do list
More work on exam questions ✅
Go and run after work ✅
Experiment with turntables for TCRAH ✅
Give books to 3 students tomorrow ½
Remember – think and listen and think! Then talk! ✅
Quite tired today as I stayed up quite late reading, wanting to finish a book. I am in very good spirits though and enjoyed all the classes I took.
Started the well-being Coursera online class today too. I’m doing a lot of study around this subject at the moment but I think it’s serving me very well. My 4 character strengths are Curiosity, Gratitude, Honesty and Fairness and I should try to practice as many of these as I can in the next week.
Amy and I went to the gym and I worked on light weights as an overall warm-up for doing more in the future. I’m sure I’ll sleep well enough tonight.
Tomorrow should be a fairly easy day and should be enjoyable too. Tomorrow I’d like to get some more things done at home. I’m slowly sorting through my room and there’s no real hurry but it would be nice to be done.
Things to be grateful for in this school: – I have a printer! – There is aircon and fans. – There are enough resources for my teaching. – I have a lot of spare time. – The keen students make me happy. – I have a desk, electricity, chair, water, board and markers, TV and computer. – I understand what I need to do. – It’s easy to get to work. – My co-teacher is helpful and nice. – The other teachers are nice. – There’s no real gossip or if there is, I don’t hear about it. – I have good classes of kids. – There is toilet paper! – I’m learning to think whilst surrounded by noise. – I’m practising patience every day.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the ease with which I can talk with my son, something that was much more difficult when I moved away from my mum. I am so happy and grateful that I was able to afford technology when I wanted it and invested in expensive and long-lasting equipment.
From commonplace book
He had been not so much horrified by death as by life with the slightest knowledge of its origin, its purpose, its reason and its nature.
Levin, Anna Karenina by Leo Tolsoy, pg 904
To-do list
Get new passport photos. ✅
Start thinking about work permit requirements. ✅
Practice gratitude about the school.
Think, then speak. Do not complain. You will be surrounded by complainers. ✅
Write to Jochen. ✅
After attending a meeting in the morning, for a 4-day English ‘camp’ (not sure why they use this word) I was thinking a lot of negative thoughts. There was nothing particularly wrong about the items of the meeting but just the whole lack of coordinated planning got into my head. It affects the Thai teachers too as they are unable to answer our questions.
I kept my mouth shut as much as possible and started to feel complete disinterest in teaching in these schools. I even started to question my enthusiasm for teaching at home too. Thailand is getting to me a little bit.
I soldiered on and late in the day Kru Noon confided quite a lot of her doubts about the school. I used that opportunity to be quiet and she talked and talked. She had a lot of useful information though nothing particularly positive for the future at that school. So with all that, I don’t think I did practice any gratitude about the school today. Only having two lessons was a joy at least.
Amy and I both went to the track to walk/run after I got home. It’s tough to motivate yourself so I’m hoping to tie this habit with getting home from work and going for exercise. I feel pretty good at the moment (physically) and able to lose a bit of weight and keep it off. I pushed up squats to 40 and will stick with that for a week or two.
My self-control was mostly tested in that morning meeting and I think I did well and was able to tell myself ‘Shut up, don’t say anything’. Tomorrow I would like to continue this thinking before speaking practice, especially before saying anything negative. I think I caught myself a couple of times today and quickly tried to stop talking or change the subject
1. Seek someone else’s thoughts and opinions without judging them. Ask questions. Listen. Do not judge. 2. Do not correct someone. Do not one-up with a clever story. 3. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next and focus on what they’re saying now. Tell yourself ‘I’m not going to say it!’ 4. Ask about what challenges people have. Ask for advice. 5. To make strangers feel at ease tell them you only have a minute. 6. Body language – smile slower. 7. If you feel someone is using you just ask them what it is they want and what they hope to achieve. Are you there for me or there for you?
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the beautiful smelling flowers in my garden. When I walk to my car in the morning they smell so delicious. I am grateful to Amy’s mum for planting them for us.
To-do list
Sort lessons for KT for the weekend.
Clear emails.
Compliment another teacher.
Positive feedback for kids always.
Do not complain!
Organise Chiang Mai trip – where is the office?
Add to things to write about list.
Buy new pens.
Did it list
30 squats and weightless shoulder presses.
Found lessons suitable for Khawthang.
Did gate duty and smiled at all the kids.
Had to speak at assembly.
Got given an exam lesson to cover as Kevin was absent. Dealt with calmly and went ok.
Went to city to pick up books and pens.
Printed sheets for Prang/Sea and for Khawthang.
Read about 7 tips for good conversation.
Let people talk, ask questions, do not judge, ‘that’s interesting, tell me more’ etc – sincerely.
I ran out of time quickly today after having to fill in an extra lesson for Kevin’s class. His class had good kids though with good levels of English – so it was quite fun to teach them. I only got told about having to do the class during the assembly. I also had to speak at the assembly as Said wasn’t there either. I’m quite happy with the way I handled my emotions with this. It would have been easy to get upset and complain. I don’t think I complained today – not out loud anyway! I didn’t get as much done (reading articles!) as I would have liked but that’s ok. I need to get some other backup games and lessons up my sleeve in case I’m called on again. I’m not sure about doing an MEP class next semester. I think it could be more fulfilling but also a lot more work.
Thankfully, I didn’t drink much last night so woke up early and started doing a few things and the day has ended up quite well. A few ideas for more things I’d like to do this year. Slowly, my man cave is getting in order.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to my old friends, who are busy now, as we all are, but haven’t forgotten about me. I won’t forget about them either.
Weight: 80.5kg Resting heart rate: 47
My friend Rosie, in Sydney, posted on facebook an offer to draw/paint pictures to send to friends and so I picked Jochen (Hinterlandt), Kyaw Kyaw (Rebel Riot) and Lachlan (Art As Catharsis). I can’t recall if I arranged for her to send out the actual pictures too but they all received them digitally around this time. A great philanthropic idea for sure and I was very happy to take Rosie up on her offer.
To-do list
Dye hair.
Sort more old writing and things in room.
Next Thai video and Drops.
Find something for teaching KT.
Wix forum options.
Did it list
Read 3 chapters.
Got up early.
Dyed my hair.
Recorded another TCRAH.
Sorted through old writing and letters.
Streamlined more online processes.
Installed forum options to WIX – looks achievable to do what I wish.
Heard some great new music.
Posted Rosie’s pictures to Jochen, Lachlan and Kyaw Kyaw.
Watched next Thai video and Drops x2.
Had long lazy buffet lunch with Amy.
Reacted calmly when discussing having to go to Chiang Mai on Sunday.
It was good to get up early and take advantage of the day. I’m glad I didn’t drink too much last night and though I did;t hang out much with everyone celebrating NYE I felt contented reading comics by myself. I have to go to Chiang Mai next Friday to apply for my new passport and thinking about the best plan for going and coming back. This afternoon we heard that Ting’s mum had died today and we discussed about going to Chiang Mai for the funeral. We will have to go and come back on Sunday. it’s not optimal but as Ting took the trouble to come to my mum’s funeral, it is the best thing for me to do. Ting has to fly all the way from the UK.
You may not wake up tomorrow.
What did I do well today? What could I have done better? – where was my self-control tested? What will I do tomorrow? How can I improve? – what have I learned that will help me tomorrow? Savour a memory from the past.
1994ever 