Thankfully, I didn’t drink much last night so woke up early and started doing a few things and the day has ended up quite well. A few ideas for more things I’d like to do this year. Slowly, my man cave is getting in order.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to my old friends, who are busy now, as we all are, but haven’t forgotten about me. I won’t forget about them either.
Weight: 80.5kg Resting heart rate: 47
My friend Rosie, in Sydney, posted on facebook an offer to draw/paint pictures to send to friends and so I picked Jochen (Hinterlandt), Kyaw Kyaw (Rebel Riot) and Lachlan (Art As Catharsis). I can’t recall if I arranged for her to send out the actual pictures too but they all received them digitally around this time. A great philanthropic idea for sure and I was very happy to take Rosie up on her offer.
To-do list
Dye hair.
Sort more old writing and things in room.
Next Thai video and Drops.
Find something for teaching KT.
Wix forum options.
Did it list
Read 3 chapters.
Got up early.
Dyed my hair.
Recorded another TCRAH.
Sorted through old writing and letters.
Streamlined more online processes.
Installed forum options to WIX – looks achievable to do what I wish.
Heard some great new music.
Posted Rosie’s pictures to Jochen, Lachlan and Kyaw Kyaw.
Watched next Thai video and Drops x2.
Had long lazy buffet lunch with Amy.
Reacted calmly when discussing having to go to Chiang Mai on Sunday.
It was good to get up early and take advantage of the day. I’m glad I didn’t drink too much last night and though I did;t hang out much with everyone celebrating NYE I felt contented reading comics by myself. I have to go to Chiang Mai next Friday to apply for my new passport and thinking about the best plan for going and coming back. This afternoon we heard that Ting’s mum had died today and we discussed about going to Chiang Mai for the funeral. We will have to go and come back on Sunday. it’s not optimal but as Ting took the trouble to come to my mum’s funeral, it is the best thing for me to do. Ting has to fly all the way from the UK.
You may not wake up tomorrow.
What did I do well today? What could I have done better? – where was my self-control tested? What will I do tomorrow? How can I improve? – what have I learned that will help me tomorrow? Savour a memory from the past.
This morning I am filled with a quiet happiness. Determined to get up early on a Sunday and to do something, whether it be a walk, a meditation, writing or studying, I rolled out of bed, fed the cats and opted to walk to my favourite local coffee shop, Utopia.
As I prepared food for the cats a light rain appeared. Unusual for this time of year but accurately predicted by our weather apps for once. Undeterred, I set out. The temperature still cool but the minimal exertion keeping me warmed I chose to listen to a reading of a Chekhov short story. The relative quiet around made for clear listening to the beautiful words of the story as I walked through small fields of wet grass and aspiring mud. Was I still in Thailand or transported to that Armenian village?
Before I knew it I had arrived at the shop but it was too early and as I waited on the porch I listened to a primer on Nietzsche and then an imagined conversation between Fred and Jane Austen where, despite their differences they arrived at a philosophical agreement and appreciation for each others works. Inspired by this I contemplated how everyone is different but we must be able to find some common ground.
The Nietzsche primer mentioned his text’s difficult reading but also highlighted his humour. Something which I had not been previously aware of. Friends have told me they preferred to read works about Nietzsche rather than his own. I will try this approach sometime. Sometime when I can add those books to my ever growing library.
The shop opened and I lazily drank through 3 coffees which produced a wonderful buzzing awareness of all the subtleties around me. Soon an acquaintance of Amy’s arrived, a Thai lady who runs her own English school. As this was our first meeting we talked about our shared experiences with teaching here in Chiang Rai.
Coffee and conversation
I lead the conversation for a while before realising it was time to let her speak and so I asked questions about her school and so the conversation flowed. I set myself a small challenge to try to talk to a stranger every day and thought to myself that I can cross this off today’s challenge list and it’s not even 10am.
Later though, as I was walking home, the rain a little heavier than before, I realised that I had failed in another of my personal challenges. Inspired by a Tim Ferriss article I read this week I have challenged myself to not complain about anything for 21 days. To remind myself about this challenge I have started wearing a bracelet, the purpose being that every time you complain you have to swap the bracelet to the other wrist. I have made this doubly difficult for myself by choosing a bracelet that is awkward to attach to oneself with one hand.
As the bracelet effect kicked in I thought back to the conversation in the coffee shop and asked myself if I had been complaining. Despite my mind’s protestations and justifications I sadly realised I had, indeed, been complaining. Perhaps only mildly but there is a fine line between stating the facts as they are and infusing a negative into the narrative.
In fact, the hardest part of this challenge is actually recognising that you are complaining. So long as it pushes to the forefront of my mind more and more it will help me become more aware of my own words and to try to understand how someone might feel whilst listening to me.
The walk home was still wonderous as I contemplated all this and listened to the description of beautiful Masha and the joy and sadness the narrator felt. This description was thought-provoking as I also was feeling so happy with life, despite the fact I was getting cold and wet in the rain. The walk crowned by the view of the feathery grass that spikes alongside our driveway, suddenly weighed down by the heavy drops of water, pointing towards the path home.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be inquisitive. To want to constantly learn and understand myself. This morning I listened to a primer on Nietzsche which was interesting as an introduction because I don’t know enough about his philosophy. I then listened to an imagined conversation between Nietzsche and Jane Austen where there two apparent so different writers end up agreeing on many things. I walked to Utopia this morning too. A nice gentle walk and gave me chance to listen to these articles.
To-do list
Prepare Lazada order.
Upload TCRAH and record new ep.
Check more Wix options.
Read 3 chapters.
Next Thai video.
Install WP App and streamline Chrome windows.
WDS t-shirt options.
Dye hair.
Did it list
Uploaded TCRAH.
Read 3 chapters.
Walked to Utopia.
Talked with a stranger at Utopia.
Wrote blog post.
Stayed calm despite Amy being in a bad mood.
Missed a couple of days due to having George and Bee over on Friday and being lazy and hungover on Saturday. Did not do anything on my Saturday list so moved all to Sunday and still only managed half of them, though the day is not over yet.
On Friday I kept my challenge of playing with the kids so that I would get some exercise. However, after a while, they asked me to calm down. I was a bit rough and too competitive. I felt slightly aggrieved at that moment but did calm down some. When I thought about it afterwards I realised they were right. It probably wasn’t as much fun for them as it should have been. I need to learn about the consequences of my actions – even the small ones.
After a busy and tiring Sunday, I’ve been struggling this week. I’ve just started to get my energy back but not quite there mentally. If I look at the last couple of days properly I can probably realise that everything has been going along as normal. Perhaps I’ve reached a kind of plateau at the moment and the next steps will require perseverance as the improvements in my life will be smaller. Who needs action when you’ve got words?
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have friends all around the world. Thankful for technology that makes it easy for us to communicate.
To-do list
Go to CRPAO – be courteous if see Kru Paew.
Write week 15 lesson.
Do not complain!
Stay calm.
Next Thai video
Did it list
Three good fun classes today.
Visit CRPAO and meet old students and teachers.
30 squats and 30 weightless shoulder presses.
I don’t recall myself complaining today.
Complimented some students on good thinking.
Only one coffee today.
Watched another Thai study video and Drops (study).
I think I stayed calm all day today.
Joined some online courses.
Streamlined my email/web browsing.
Read 3 chapters.
Went from tired and a little down to happy and enthused.
Showed people around Auntie’s house for rent.
In my regular class today we played a team game and people reacted differently when losing – it was a perfect opportunity to introduce kids to the growth mindset. I started out today feeling a little tired and flat but thankfully I had three good lessons in a row, with a quick lunch in-between. Then going back to CRPAO and getting an overwhelming response from the kids was very gratifying. I’m starting to get a good bonding feeling with the kids at Anuban now though and really enjoying it there. Time is getting more precious now and I have to squeeze things in anywhere I can – some non-essential tasks will have to be removed.
– kind-hearted – caring – talented at drums and music – artistic – generous towards his friends – focused on his favourite hobby – keeps himself hydrated – values justice – charitable
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to the ‘bad’ kids in my classes. The ones who test me, the ones who make it difficult, the ones who push my patience to the limit. They are helping me grow.
To-do list
Compliment people.
Do not complain!
Write week 15 lessons.
Write to Pentti – let’s get that dialogue going again.
Watch the next Thai video – study Thai.
Enjoy dinner with Amy’s family – talk more with Amy’s mum.
Play with the kids at lunchtime – it’s good exercise.
Did it list
Drops/study Thai
Stayed calm but had to leave one class quickly in order to remain calm – they were a real test for me today.
Complimented a couple of students on their work and getting questions right.
Tried not to complain but that is so hard, bring it into mind more often to succeed.
Wrote to Pentti and Lachlan.
Talked briefly with Echo – so good to hear her voice again – she is much more confident in English now.
Today I found one of the students guiltily copying work of another student. He puts a lot of effort into avoiding working and running around finding someone to copy. That effort could just go into thinking.
When I told the teacher who was teaching them they just shrugged it off as if it didn’t matter and I noticed this made me feel a little miffed and I’m considering why.
I have something against this student due to his laziness and maybe I just wanted him to be punished. On the other hand, maybe the teacher has the right attitude. If the student can only learn to copy then he will discover the appropriate reward in his future.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the things that made me smile this week. Mostly it was the students, sometimes the cats, always Amy and sometimes myself. I smiled because of the simple things in my life that make me happy.
To-do list
Compliment a teacher and the students
Clear more emails and tabs!
Do something nice for someone.
Write to Jochen – same idea as with Aaron.
Study some more Thai.
Can you meditate today?
Did it list
Positive encouragement for students.
Stayed calm – only raised voice to be heard.
10,000 steps without realising.
Under 81kg today.
30 squats and 30 weightless shoulder presses.
Tried to be positive when talking with Boyan.
Took time to play with students.
Wrote to Jochen.
Called and encouraged Ellen.
Tried to call Echo.
Wrote some more relevant thoughts to Lachlan.
Read more online, closed some tabs but opened many more!
Cleared many emails.
Finished watching Happy!
Sorted new music files.
Studied a little Thai.
Today I tried really hard to be mindful of the things that I wanted to do. I wasn’t able to achieve all these things but having them in the front of my mind was a good exercise and something I will continue to practice. I gave quite a few students verbal compliments and confidence boosters and it was nice to get some positive feedback from them too. I might have to consider streamlining some email lists I’m on as I’m starting to get a little overwhelmed with so many things that I would like to explore.
Today I asked Kru Tam how she thought I was doing at my job. She gave me positive feedback saying she could tell how much I cared for the students to learn. She did imply that sometimes I have to pull back a little – I think that is more related to my expectations than to my lessons.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the beautiful sunrise I see every morning before school. It’s a reminder of the bigger things, the slow, slow movement of the universe. Nothing we can do but get on with it.
To-do list
Most important * Be mentally prepared for the toughest classes of the week.
Try to write email to Aaron during school hours – subject: books and kids.
Clear all the Daily Stoic reading windows.
Congratulate the kids on good work and good thinking.
Compliment one of the other teachers.
Follow up with Andrew about contact with Indra.
Clear some emails.
Study Thai for 30 minutes.
Did it list
30 squats and 30 weightless shoulder press
30 minutes study Thai – mostly prep
Maintained calm and happiness through two of the three tough classes today
I forgive myself for losing it for a second in that last class. How to stop from getting into that situation again? Maybe need to make my lessons more practical. I’m hoping the ClassDojo ideas lessons work out well for those classes.
Asked Kru Tam for feedback on my performance – she said she could feel that I was really keen to help the students.
She also advised me to try to give them more time and maybe make things a little easier.
Sorted some more files for TCRAH
Have an idea for TCRAH – to share the music files with a friend and get them to comment on the music, then incorporate that into the actual show.
Read some more Daily Stoic articles and closed a few more Chrome tabs
Unsubscribed from a blog – content was ok but I’m at the point of having to choose the ones I like best.
Don’t set your mind on things you don’t posess as if they were yours, but count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren’t already yours.
Marcus Aurelius
What if…
I never met Amy? Hayden was never born? I never met Paul and Charlie? I never saw the Sex Pistols on TV? I never met the Gaunts Common kids, Rupert, Jeremy, etc? I never made plans for where I live now? I never studied anything else after getting my first job? I never took the chance to travel to China? I never took the time to study about Asian music? Hayden had a disability? I didn’t have my own space? I hated reading books? I didn’t enjoy music? There was no internet?
I have so much in my life to appreciate and I really do!
“You may not sleep again”
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to look forward to ask things in my future. Just as we are now settled and made ourselves a beautiful home the question has been raised about selling and moving to the city. I really really love where I am now but selling this house would give us a huge boost of money that could take all pressure off us having to work all the time. Stay or go – everything is great!
To-do list
Read three chapters of Anna Karenina.
Sort music files and CDs (ongoing).
Upload TCRAH to SoulSeek.
30 squats after waking up.
Email to Aaron.
Record another TCRAH?
Sort more files for TCRAH.
Close some Chrome tabs!
Did it list
30 squats.
Sorted some music files and CDs.
Closed a few Chrome tabs.
Dictated and posted 2 blog entries.
Had a good time teaching the kids.
Went to a craft fair with Amy, Aing, Nu and Gus (enjoyable).
The first books I remember reading were the Thomas Covenant Chronicles. Big thick fantasy books. For some reason, they resonated more with me than my attempts at the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings.
Later On The Road and Kerouac’s short Alone on a Mountaintop inspired a wonder of wander for me so it was not a difficult decision to make to move to Australia.
Right now I’m reading Anna Karenina whilst learning as much as I can about stoicism. I think the recommendation (to read AK) must have come from Daily Stoic as there is so much stoicism within the writing. This is the first book I’ve really looked at Cliff Notes for too.
He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.
Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be excited for this coming week at school. I really enjoy teaching with the kids and they give me good energy.
Hmmm… this is a tough question! Is it when I am happy and overjoyed with life? Is it when I am grumpy and down (which is how I have most often felt in my life)?
At times I felt most myself during a successful show I had put together, enjoying the music and feeling, the pleasure of everyone around me.
I often feel myself when I’m mostly occupied with something, though even when I’m lazing around I’m usually reading or watching something meaningful.
Gratitude Journal
I am still so happy and grateful for sports day yesterday. It was so much fun and the kids had a great time. I think they will be unsettled today but never mind. I also got sunburned and sweated a lot but today I feel pretty good. I need to integrate some exercise into my habits so I feel this way more.
I am so happy and grateful to meet my new students today. It’s nerve wracking and compelling. Being around kids is very fulfilling. This morning I had some regret about leaving my last class behind but got excited for meeting all these new ones. They are typically friendly and happy, naught and shy…. I am grateful to the teachers I met who were friendly enough to give me advice.