Tag: garden

We got that attitude! – 31st January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for my enthusiasm to learn new things. It seems unbelievable to me that I am learning to play the guitar, learning to sketch and preparing to read War and Peace! My 20-year-old self would be sceptical and amazed.
I am so happy and grateful for the rain yesterday. It was a surprise and I thought it would never come. Now our plants are nourished again after about 3 months of dry. They will green up again before going back to yellow and pale for the next few dry months. There’s a beautiful cold fog this morning.

We got that attitude! – 24th January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the game The Crew. I don’t play games often and this game is just right for me, maybe boring for others but just enough fun for me without being frustrating.

To-do list

  • More remixing ✅
  • Prepare IELTS course on Monday ✅
  • Sketch something at work ✅
  • Prepare gratitude letters ½
  • Work out a time to go to Hacienda
  • More books, less phone ✅

It’s been an odd week – I was sick with a cold on the weekend and either slept or watched/listened to YouTube videos – which was quite enjoyable despite my subdued mood. I tried to go to work on Monday but opted not to in the end and slept more, finally feeling…not better, but happier.

On Tuesday I came home early and read more of the Paulo Coehlo book, Eleven Minutes, that Bruno lent me. I think it was part of that story that influenced my thoughts as I fell asleep that night and I had a moment of clarity and suddenly understood exactly who I was, what I am and what I am for. It was very profound and enlightening though it happened as I was on my way to sleep, and many other thoughts also passed through my mind before I slept.

When I awoke I recalled my epiphany but could no longer remember the details. Who am I!? I’m not sure it was inspired by passages in that book so I will go back and read it again. Actually, I’m just happy that somewhere in my consciousness I have this information, so my thinking ming shouldn’t need to worry about this anymore.

The rest of the week went well and I had a somewhat superior feeling that I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or the way I do things. Not to say that I deliberately go out of my way to annoy or upset anyone but I do usually apply the rule of honesty when it comes to discussion and I will give my honest opinion in many situations, hopefully when I feel it would not be detrimental. Not everyone will understand me, not everyone will like me. But I am valid. I do my best to be nice to people but I can’t help the fact that I am bored by most people and have to push myself hard to dive deeper into their world.

Yesterday I felt tired enough for an afternoon nap but thought I’d listen to some music at the same time. It was a fabulous feeling as I drifted in and out of light sleep, inspired by the sounds. I came to thinking about my old teenage bedroom, my first girlfriend, and the layout of the room, which I would change every few months depending on my mood.

As I held this thought closely, my heart jumped as my imagination brought the whole thing right into the here and now. I toyed with my thoughts and could recall moments that stimulated my emotions and realised I had it within me to summon these feelings, with practice, at will.

Looking through photos of the recent past has inspired a certain nostalgia that I haven’t investigated much before, as I never liked to indulge in it, always moving forward instead. If it can stir up my memory then I will attempt this more.

A nice thing happened yesterday as I was watering the garden in the morning. The neighbour’s twin cats came to sniff around and followed me and the hose for a while. I cuddled and stroked them and got back to watering and still they followed, curious about the water, until one got a little too close and decided that water is evil. They both quickly understood and ran off as fast as they could back home.

I am trying to simplify my life somewhat. Keep up some good habits but not stress too much about anything.

Feeling good last week, I decided I would help Ellen with some more online teaching. I’m kicking myself a little bit now as I have been enjoying all the free time I have had recently, generally since stopping recording the podcast. Sometimes, giving up things, even those you enjoy, is good. Make more room for other things.

I’ve even been listening to full CDs again today – to recall the feeling of a consistent 45-60 minutes rather than skit-skatting all about the place. And hence, the longer length of this entry.

We got that attitude! – 23rd November 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for everything in my home. I love it there. I love to watch the garden growing and changing over time. I love all the different ideas Amy comes up with to change things around.
I am so happy and grateful to be able to afford a MIDI keyboard and to have time to experiment and mess around with it. I hope I can learn how to use it properly.

2nd Feb 2023 – I can’t believe I’ve had the keyboard for two years already. It still sits in front of my computer screen generally gathering dust. It’s not that I couldn’t have time to use it but that I have enjoyed playing guitar regularly and at the moment I’m more focused on getting old information uploaded to here, which is a pretty monumental task. Also, despite my loving my home, the set up of my desk and computer are not really conducive for sitting for long periods of time so it’s not quite comfortable. I know it will take a good period of time, effort and concentration to learn to use the keyboard in the way that I want (actually it’s the software, not the keyboard particularly) but I am still weirdly optimistic that I will make more time in the future!

Today’s not the day the sky will fall down around my ears – 30th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s been raining on and off for the last two weeks or more and finally, the ground has gotten soaked enough that big pools of water remain around our garden after the daily storm passes through. The frogs are going crazy, croaking across the valley. The snakes must be happy to be able to easily locate their food again. What a dangerous life. Having to call out to find your mate, only to be swallowed by a hungry snake.

Kim Chi, our killer cat, was found one morning munching on the guts of a bird in the dining room. How thoughtful. Amy woke me up to come and help clean up. There were bird feathers everywhere, strewn across the floor, table and lounge. I love our animals and I also love the birds that come to visit our garden. Leave them alone Hellcat!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I have been able to adapt to the Thai style of working (so far). Disorganised, short notice, changing decisions…. It’s all good.

Brain dump

Home workout warmup – first time – just the warmup makes me tired! Start somewhere. Itchy throat – can’t get sick. Itchy leg – something always biting.

All our fish dead again. We can’t take care of them for some reason. Jukebox – Happy – I don’t know who sings it – George someone. Today we will make a video and I will hate this song even more.

Feel good – a little tired. But good. thinking about Hayden but have an idea how to help. Can I just be me? Too late to be tough on him.

Thinking of poor kids in China who walk 5 km across rough valleys to get to school. Just primary kids. Predictably they want to be soldiers. They are tough. Circumstances dictate. No one’s fault. Everyone wants to be someone else for a while. But without the effort. Like a video game.

Dry your tears, we did everything we could – 8th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Hot Snakes CD on shelf while stretching has removed Heavy Vegetable – Gar Wood, Gar Wood, Gar wouldn’t listen.

Heavy breathing, hot and sweaty, 30 squats, aching back – tried stretching it out – wish my body felt perfect but I go on just ignoring the pain or diverting thoughts away from it. Wrist ache – thumb ache – from writing. Don’t want to stop. (illegible) today. Dollars – more pain – hopefully, alleviated.

Green, green the garden now so many shades of green – I love it.

Congratulated Amy on her sudden garden passion and all the work she put into it. Drive the truck today – needs diesel – have to remember it’s not 91! Remember yr toothbrush too. Where to park that massive truck? Let’s see – everything will be okay.

Tell Champ you’re going to the dentist. Go to the banks too – sort out PayPal and WeChat.

Hot hot hot – sweat gathered on arm. What else is inside this crazed brain? Get it out.

Slept well, woke up during the night to the sound of the aircon self-cleaning but ignored well enough and drifted back to dreams. Maybe annoyed Amy but she was too lazy to get up and turn it off. Nevermind. Amy is lovely. I’m so happy and grateful every day to have her in my life because she takes care of herself and all the things around the house. Good she is distracted with garden instead of just drinking the day away now.

Gratitude Journal

I am happy and grateful for the good time I had last night drinking beer, listening to Alice Donut and Can, and doing a jigsaw!

We got that attitude! – 26th March 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the fruit and vegetables still growing in our garden.

Across the far-flung kingdom, religious practice helped manage the loyalty and production of the peasantry.

The King Never Smiles

To-do list

  • Record and plan new TCRAH ½
  • Sort some CDs ✅
  • Use new book to plan lessons ✅
  • Meditate

Now is Sunday. Time and effort have dissolved. I finally managed to start putting together lessons – now that the deadline has passed! Inspirations have to be followed at the appropriate time.