Tag: geopolitics

Disorder Based Rules – 11th May 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A roll of the dice
With a careful nudge
Generals in sync
Will refuse to budge
The game of Risk
Is a risky game
Must be insured
It’s played the same
Rules are manufactured
Out of thin air
Top of the pecking order
Keeps the lion’s share
Disorder is maintained
To keep challenges at bay
If you want to win the game
It must be played this way

Today I’m feeling:

Cautious. A little dizzy. Not unhappy or negative but not quite right. At only 11 am, I’m feeling tired and sleepy already.

Today I’m grateful for:

A new deodoriser I found at HomePro that seems to work quite well. There’s a bad cat pee smell on the sofa though I can’t find exactly where so I’m going through spraying the deodoriser on the sofa bit by bit.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to look out of my window and see the mountains clearly again across the rice fields. It makes me feel more connected to the world.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite trying to fight it I napped/lucid-dreamed through listening to a Black Midi CD. Thankfully it wasn’t long enough to stop me from getting into bed before 9 pm. I think my general lack of motivation and enthusiasm is going around in ever-decreasing circles with my tiredness.

Something I learned today?

I found out that Earn at House will leave on Saturday to go and study at a university in Bangkok. Her English is pretty good and though she’s not shy, she’s also not chatty. A little like myself I think.

What are some words that best describe my personality?

Today:
Quiet
Thoughtful
Lethargic
Unimpressed
Nature loving
Lazy
Depressive
Happy

Yes, I can suffer symptoms of depression and be happy at the same time. And I also feel that though I’m a little unimpressed and uninspired at the moment I’m also a little optimistic along with it.

I took this picture because this year we may end up with enough lychees to eat, rather than the insects or birds getting them all.

The Contract – 20th March 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Killing time still brings the crows
A pile of shit still grows the rose
Who will hold and stab the blade
To break the contract freely made
To cut the cancer, counter pain
To withhold freedom for general gain
Sign the papers or travel far
To find agreement to what we are

Today I’m feeling:
Much better than yesterday. Despite sleeping less than 7 hours I woke a little more motivated, did some exercise and told myself that I will do some lesson preparation to keep myself occupied in the morning. I also wrote a message to Amy explaining how I was feeling over the weekend and we both are missing each other. Took a full tablet of sertraline this morning. I know it can’t take effect immediately but the placebo effect can.
Today I’m grateful for:
The patient waitress at Lardna Aroi who understood what I wanted with my bad Thai and some translation help. I tipped her two baht to round up the bill to 100 baht. Last of the big spenders.
The best thing about today was:
An unexpected message from my student Earn in the class LINE saying that she missed me. I replied that I missed everyone too. It’s funny because usually if I try and talk to Earn at school she tells me to go away (in a non-serious way). Leaving this job one day will be super hard!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m still struggling with some small issues with my computer but I have some optimism that they will get sorted out with a bit more investigation and time. Nothing particularly stressful.
Something I learned today?
I saw a video this evening that indicated that Australia wouldn’t follow the US into war with China. This is a surprise, particularly after investing in submarines that would likely support a war effort. Something is going on behind the smoke and mirrors.
What makes me unique?
I want to be facetious in my answer. I am not unique at all. Yet, everyone is.
But in the spirit of the question….I don’t know. Perhaps it’s not for me to say but for others. It’s usually easy to say something like this about someone else rather than yourself. Why?
This is ridiculous, the more I think about it the less unique I become.

Someone working at Daytripper took this picture and then used it in one of their Facebook posts to promote that they were open. Free model, listening to Kishore Mahbubani talking about US-China relations, deep in thought. But this picture just makes me want to work off more of that back fat so that my shirts fit better.

No Freedom – 15th March 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s no freedom without morality
Or institutions to provide education
For freedom to provide peaceful reality
Needs reassessment of this situation

We (a royal we, a royal we of the West) are obsessed with freedom but we’ve misunderstood its reality. Freedom does not mean freedom to just do as you please. It must have some moral guidelines and that part is being eroded and going missing in our modern Western societies. I don’t know so much about other societies in depth but I feel that they have a different relationship with ‘authority’. It’s a choice to make and to pick your battles.

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed, happy
Today I’m grateful for:
The shampoo that helps clean up Tiggers skin. It leaves his coat feeling good and hopefully, this is the last time I have to wash him for a while as the blisters have almost all gone now. Luckily he doesn’t mind me washing him too much now.
The best thing about today was:
Starting to read Death’s End. First at Daytripper and then in the cooler late afternoon in the hammock. Already thought-provoking in the first 40 pages. Awesome.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I couldn’t resist an afternoon nap after reading and I spent an hour fluctuating between lucidity and what felt like deep sleep. As I was falling asleep waves of euphoria hit me dragging me down to dreamland. It was delicious, I love that feeling and tried to make it last longer but the pull was too strong. I handled the ‘waste of time’ with sixty star jumps when I woke up and after shaking out my head a little.
Something I learned today?
After China brokered a deal between Iran and Saudia Arabia last week there’s talk now about the possibility of negotiating peace between Russia and Ukraine. That would be the biggest diplomatic coup so far this century. Pushing the world toward peace is the exact opposite of what the US has promoted for the last 70 years. I really hope China can pull it off.
How can I express my creativity today?
How? In any number of ways. Anything is possible. However, I didn’t really. The two photos I took were about it. I did get some students to test my online lesson though, but I created that yesterday and will update accordingly tomorrow. I guess I got some ideas. Not every day is creative, much as we might like it to be.

I took this picture because it’s time to start a new book and get back into a good story. The third part of the trilogy and it’s off with a bang and a twist. I got to Daytripper early so not many people around. I also started to feel sleepy as my body and brain winds down from the intensity of the classroom.

No Suffering – 14th March 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Do you wish not to suffer?
How to know you’re alive?
Wanting for others not to suffer
Is the goal for which to strive
The love that comes to you
Share amongst your friends
Til the circle is complete
And one’s suffering truly ends

Today I’m feeling:
Down and up, happy and relaxed right now.
Today I’m grateful for:
The counter staff at the hospital who assisted me today. One changed my phone number on file. Another asked me questions and advised there would be a wait and another helped me to pay, all doing well with their English. I speak as much Thai as I can but know that they have to try hard to speak in English for me.
Also to Fon, who made me a small sourdough loaf and brought it to me at school. It was a little heavy but tasted great.
The best thing about today was:
Taking my iMac and SSD kit to the store at Central and getting a fairly positive response that they could fix it for me. It will be an expensive fix but at least cheaper than having to buy new and should hopefully keep me going for a few more years.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At the hospital, I had to wait an hour and pay 150 baht for a one-minute consult. As mentioned above I was warned of the wait so I happily sat and played poker on my phone and watched people coming and going, and despite being a little unimpressed at paying this fee for what was essentially just a mental health check-in as I was riding home I considered what this was like in Australia and how much it cost then too. Really I’m very lucky to live close to a hospital where I can just walk in anytime and pay so little for their service.
After thinking in the morning that I would go back to a full sertraline tablet I actually started feeling more positive whilst I was waiting and decided to go for another three weeks at half dose.
Something I learned today?
Today was just more about US-China relations. I’m not sure why I’m so sucked into this topic except that I want to share the positives about China in the constant stream of negative propaganda out there. The actions of the US government in general disgust me. Did I learn anything new today (on this subject)? Perhaps not.
Oh, related to this I discovered an archive site of articles that allows limited free access after following a link to one article that I wanted to read related to Mao Zedong. I will search the archive for other things of interest when I have free time.
What is most important to me today?
The health and safety of my family and friends or, in fact, anyone facing struggle. I can include myself in that. In general, there’s not much going on around me that is so important. Things seem under control.

I took this picture because I saw this muddy crew, this brown crew in a sea of green, as I rode up to the hospital. How can we tell if they are happy? I hope they enjoy their lives eating grass and cooling in the mud. It’s pretty fucking extreme out there!

Broken Mind – 12th March 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Giving in to the
Broken mind
You got me down here

Pinned to the floorboards
Can’t stand up
Falling down again

Every time I rise
With the sun
Comes the clouds and rain

Giving in to the
Medicine
What is normal now?

Today I’m feeling:
Some aching bones but relaxed and positive.
Today I’m grateful for:
My blow-up neck stretcher. I don’t know if it really helps my neck but it does feel like it helps keep it stable and forces me to sit up rather than lie down to read or watch tv. I go through phases of using it and it has felt necessary for the last few days.
The best thing about today was:
Forcing myself out and enjoying sitting at Daytripper and putting together more lessons with Quizizz. It’s making me look a bit more at my lessons to see how to improve them. I don’t like to do work at the weekend but I’m spoiled with actually doing so little work whilst I’m at school!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my ongoing attempts to counter the smell of cat pee in my mattress, I pulled off all my bedding and shoved it into the washing machine and headed off for my morning caffeine injection. Waiting for that first cup I checked my phone and found a heavy rain warning for the whole day. Everyone is hoping for rain to crush the poisonous smoke in the air. But will it rain? It was forecast yesterday too but nothing eventuating. Just a smoky sky that even the power of the sun was unable to really penetrate. Either way, today looks like more of the same. I’ll stick the bedding under cover and hope the humidity dries it out by bedtime.
(It’s 8 pm now and there’s been no rain and the hot humid air dried everything before lunchtime. Tomorrow’s forecast is a 90% chance of rain so let’s hope that that comes true!)
Something I learned today?
A piece brokered between Saudi Arabia and Iran by China. Could this be the start of lasting peace spreading around the world or will the USA inevitably stick its nose in to destabilise things for its own gain?
What is a simple delight I have been enjoying lately?
My two bottles of Curcumin C, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, activate my tastebuds in the best possible way.
Talking with Hayden has also been nice the last few times we’ve talked too. He seems a lot more open and not stuck in his head so much.
Yoghurt, muesli, strawberries and of course, coffee.
Our cats, despite the pee issue, make me smile every day somehow.
My students, despite frustrating me to no end, are all also delightful.
Life is pretty good.

I took this picture because I often see this furball sitting here in the beauty shop next door to Utopia. What a beauty but I’m glad I don’t have to deal with all that hair.

Pick Up The Gun – 5th March 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pick up the gun to provide justification
Rewrite the narratives of provocation
Pick up the gun needed as your defence
For the war to start at your expense
Pick up the gun for hellfire to be rained
The eagle’s game is easily explained
Pick up the gun, even take a swing
Either way will change something
Pick up the gun, it’s a dragon poke
What’s the plan if failed to provoke?
Put down the gun, desist and cease
Accept the differences for lasting peace

inspired by the titular Bill Hicks routine as a comment on current affairs in geopolitics

Today I’m feeling:
Happy, relaxed and contented.
Today I’m grateful for:
Uncle at the bike repair shop for fixing my flat tyre again. I seem to be here every six months for a new inner tube. He usually pulls some piece of metal out of it. Today I can see the tube has shredded and the tyre is fucked too!
The best thing about today was:
Hanging out with Bruno at Utopia and then Daytripper. His English is getting worse these days as he doesn’t speak much with anyone else apart from me. We talked about a lot of different things and it was good to catch up. Although I don’t really have any steam to blow off it’s good just to get random thoughts shared with other people. I don’t need to be in people’s business every day and catching up once or twice a month is enough for me.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
On the way to Daytripper, I could feel a problem with my back tyre particularly as I went around corners and as we left a little later I could feel it getting worse so I headed off to the petrol station to fill it with air. As it was filling I heard a pop and it wouldn’t fill anymore. I rode at 5mph back to the uncle near my place who laughed a little when he saw the tyre. He immediately indicated it wasn’t just the tube but the tyre was fucked too, probably from me just riding it there. Ok ok, it’s gotta be fixed. He got to work and showed the inner tube which had completely split. We laughed. A few minutes and 600 baht later I was on my way again. It’s been an expensive start to the month. Some things have just got to be done though. My shirts are waiting one more day to be ironed though!
Something I learned today?
I saw a video suggesting the EU has dropped sanctions against Russia, against the wishes of the USA. I haven’t looked further yet to verify but it comes as a bit of a shock if true. Really, is this something that was worth learning? I think I’ve learned something more worthwhile today, something more directly involved with my life. These things are small specks of information and knowledge that accumulate over time into something with a more concrete form. Chatting with various people picks up random information that may be useless or inconsequential at this moment in time but may build into a deeper understanding of things locally or culturally. Just asking people about other coffee shops to check puts information into knowledge banks. Information that may never be used or one day when riding around I recognise a spot and can say, hmm someone recommended that. Some useless things may become useful. World news whilst stimulating may just remain useless.
How do I feel right now?
A little tense in my legs, not sure I will sleep well tonight. I may be tense because I wanted to get my shirts ironed today but I ended up playing guitar instead, knowing I have another free day tomorrow to get at least some of them ironed; although there’s nothing stopping me from doing them all except laziness! I feel good after talking with Bruno and seeing other people around at Utopia and Daytripper and stimulated enough not to take a nap. I have a plan for tomorrow. I think I’ll ignore my alarm, grab coffee, come home and iron and then head to Daytripper to do some blogging and lesson planning. I’m hoping perhaps by writing this here I will stick to it!

I took this picture because I thought this plant had long since died. It is one of four in a row that Amy planted a couple of years ago and this one has been missing for the last year or so. Looks like it was busy growing underground until the time was right to show itself again.

No Air – 2nd March 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When there’s no air to breathe
I must learn to hold my breath
Each precious gasp to push against
The certainty of death
Black lungs are better than black hearts
I just want to breathe
Not in control of my coming time
But now’s too soon to leave

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and happy but have a headache from the bad air quality.
Today I’m grateful for:
Fon and her sourdough bread that she dropped at mum’s house for me. This one is not as delicious as last time but still delicious!
The best thing about today was:
An easy day for myself and students both so that everyone was happy. The little bit of work that I asked them to do for me was just right to keep them involved whilst also letting them chill a little.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’d been advised to contact another teacher about grading our students this semester and was hoping, as happened last semester, that I could just hand over my final grades and they would do whatever magic it is that they do in the system. Anyway, I finally saw the teacher today and they said that if I had login access, which I do, then I can enter the information myself. Instead of thinking about the extra work it would mean for me I actually thought that this would be useful for me to learn so at least I have done control over the data before it gets adjusted to make everyone look good. Hopefully the two teachers who know the system can help me and I can get on with doing it next week.
Something I learned today?
A fair percentage of the world’s tomatoes come from Xinjiang, where they only started farming them in the recent past. As some dumb countries sanctioned businesses in Xinjiang they are now facing shortages. The UK is said to have introduced rationing and people can only buy two at a time! Meanwhile the farmers now sell into new markets and their businesses are booming. The whole western narrative around Xinjiang is such unrealistic bullshit.
What are some things that I need to let go of in order to move forward?
The only things I need to let go of are the things I can’t control. Staying attached to them is useless. In general I am letting go of many of these things and feeling better for it.

I took this picture because I was picking up ice cream at LungChom and these flowers were showing off in the parking lot.

Water – 1st March 2023

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A feisty fighter frustrating friends
Not caring, not coping, on the go
A teenage tearaway telling tales
Pushing against the urge to grow
Parental problems, proving pain
Mistakes one day surely repeated
Hardened heads hiding hopes
A life from which has been cheated
As water wearies, wild and winding
The ground becomes less stable
Forming floods for fallow fields
Leaving nothing to eat at the table

Inspired by a conversation with a student whose name translates as Water

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and tired again. I feel good when I’m pushed and have to do things but when I get free time I start to feel tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
Arriving at school and then finding out there is an art event and students don’t want to study but also not bothered about the event too! I just gave them a little work and then talked with small groups of students about their futures.
The best thing about today was:
As mentioned above, talking with some of the kids today was interesting. Mangkron said he wants to be a farmer as that is what his family is involved in. I was a little surprised as most kids talk about being doctors, gamers or idols. I was happily surprised about Baipad who has a clear idea of what she would like to do and also having a backup plan. Her and Apple we’re also able to understand and consider options that might not exactly match their wishes but are in the same direction. Ozone shocked me when she started talking about software programming and also design work of some sort. Underneath her quiet exterior she has things happening it seems. A number of kids simply answered ‘well, my parents want me to do this’ to which I had to remind them that I asked the what they wanted to do. And my purpose was to get them thinking about this, which many are already and whilst comforting them that they still have lots of time to decide that if they can’t figure out something to do by themselves then surely someone else will do it for them.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
With only really another full week left of classes, the kids have already switched off. I do want them to come to my class though even though we may do just a little work. I’d like to get them to do more talking as above. Perhaps they will open up a bit more now they are more relaxed. Either way I’m not going to stress too much about their behaviour from now.
Something I learned today?
I’ve been powering through the Kishore Mahbubani videos on US-China relations and liking his even-handed approach to the situation. The videos were made in 2020 when Biden became US president and there was some hope of a less hostile relationship. I’ll find some other videos of his which are more up-to-date after I finish this series. Any kind of possible military encounter between the two countries is going to be a disaster.
What is one goal I have for the next month and how can I work towards achieving it?
Goals are overrated. Just keep doing and being the best I can be. So my goals as such are just to get the things done that I have to such as taking the cats for their annual checks and vaccines. I’ll try to get a couple more tattoos and spend more time reading and writing as well as planning for next semester’s classes.

I took these pictures because today was an art event at school and these student pictures caught my eye.

The Tallest Tree – 25th February 2023

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The tallest tree is afraid of lightning
And forever wants to stand tall
To rise above the rest is so frightening
But one must look over them all
Competition begins at the very roots
Fighting for glimpses of the sun
Cooperation only required when it suits
Until the race can be clearly won
The tallest tree, with its deep shade
Stunts both the weak and the good
The forest succumbs to death man-made
And all becomes the finest wood

Today I’m feeling:
Tired and dizzy. Unenthusiastic. I’ve been reducing my sertraline dose to half a 50mg tablet a day and it had been on until today. The feeling is so disorienting that I don’t feel inclined to push through. I’ll go back to my regular dose tomorrow.
Today I’m grateful for:
Netflix and British TV. I’m really not in the mood for anything today and whilst on other days I usually hate to waste time with watching TV shows today I’m finding numbing satisfaction in not thinking. I think I’m gonna be ok.
The best thing about today was:
Cute Noey at Utopia making my coffee and trying her best to improve her skills. We didn’t talk for a long time as she is quiet and maybe intimidated in a work environment of boys. She has a kind of endearing ditzy attitude like she doesn’t take anything too seriously but obviously, deep down has a different personality lying in wait to be discovered by her intimates. Anyway, the coffee tasted good despite the lack of foam that I like.


What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My feelings and emotions are a little out of control today but I’m well aware of it. I hate to waste a weekend day but know I need to get to the other side of this feeling so I’ve handled it by sleeping and TV.
Something I learned today?
I watched an edited version of a debate with Matt Taibbi, Douglas Murray and Malcolm Gladwell and was quite shocked to hear a usually smart guy like Gladwell resorting to straw man arguments. The topic was about trust in mainstream media in the USA and I was quite surprised that Gladwell sided with the idea that we can trust it. I’ve been watching Chinese news (CGTN) to get news from the States. They just report the facts as they know them. No opinion no debate no analysis. Just like news should be. Most of their reports are less than two minutes long. USA news sources are 24-hour verbal diarrhoea and for all the talk nothing is achieved.
What do I enjoy doing?
Today the only thing I enjoyed was sleeping. Most days I actually enjoy almost everything I do.

I took this picture because I liked the look of this mini cactus at House. It could serve well as a model railway cactus.

Back Asswards – 23rd February 2023

~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Now we are the Nazis
We are ISIS, the terrorists
We accepted hatred
For our motivational bomb schools
Where lessons learned
Were in books burned
As we mistook our enemies
To be the ones fooled
Now we commit genocide
From romantic shelter
Far away from freedom
Forcing refugees at our borders
No ifs, just rifle butts
Force of power, force power cuts
And bodies pile up
Of those that were simply following orders

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and tired
Today I’m grateful for:
The stash of Pocky that Amy left here because she couldn’t fit it in her luggage when going back to Australia. Now I can use them as birthday gifts for my students!
The best thing about today was:
I want to say my students but they were probably also the worst thing about today too! They make me laugh and they make me cry. Goya and Pat gave me friendship bracelets (just pieces of string). Fah and Boty play jokes on me and Bright always enjoys having jokes played on him. And of course, they all try to get away with murder when they think I’m not looking.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The usual group of 1/7 students were late to my class again and I marked them as ‘absent’. I could tell 4 of them were debating whether to just skip class then but decided to stay though they weren’t very happy. They soon cheered themselves up together though and were very happy when I rewarded them by changing their status to ‘late’ instead of ‘absent’. They come up with all sorts of bullshit excuses for being late but realise they don’t fly when all the other students are always on time. The work is so easy too but they don’t put it together that if they just cracked on with it they could finish the class that much sooner. They’ll figure themselves out at some point.
Something I learned today?
I learned that from 1971 until 1989 US-China relations were fairly cooperative except that for the US it was a case of an enemy of my enemy is a friend and the relationship changed again once the Soviet Union fell. It makes me wonder why we have to have enemies?
How can I be more mindful and present in the moment?
I think I need to calm my thoughts a lot more again. My brain is a little overactive recently and I need to stop looking at things like Twitter and YouTube as much as I do. It’s too easy to get wound up by the stupidities of the world when in actuality things are quite sedate around my own life.’Today I’m feeling:
Happy and tired
Today I’m grateful for:
The stash of Pocky that Amy left here because she couldn’t fit in in her luggage when going back to Australia. Now I can use them as birthday gifts for my students!
The best thing about today was:
I want to say my students but they were probably also the worst thing about today too! They make me laugh and they make me cry. Goya and Pat gave me friendship bracelets (just pieces of string). Fah and Boty play jokes on me and Bright always enjoys having jokes played on him. And of course they all try to get away with murder when they think I’m not looking.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The usual group of 1/7 students were late to my class again and I marked them as ‘absent’. I could tell 4 of them were debating whether to just skip class then but decided to stay though they weren’t very happy. They soon cheered themselves up together though and were very happy when I rewarded them by changing their status to ‘late’ instead of absent. They come up with all sorts of bullshit excuses for being late but realise they don’t fly when all the other students are always on time. The work is so easy too but they don’t put it together that if they just cracked on with it they could finish the class that much sooner. They’ll figure themselves out at some point.
Something I learned today?
I learned that from 1971 until 1989 US-China relations were fairly cooperative except that for the US it was a case of an enemy of my enemy is a friend and the relationship changed again once the Soviet Union fell. It makes me wonder why we have to have enemies?
How can I be more mindful and present in the moment?
I think I need to calm my thoughts a lot more again. My brain is a little overactive recently and I need to stop looking at things like Twitter and YouTube as much as I do. It’s too easy to get wound up by the stupidities of the world when in actuality things are quite sedate around my own life.

I took this picture because our jacarandas are blooming and in the misty sunrise the purple looks luscious.