Good but a little blurry, probably from the gummy yesterday. I still feel like there is a lot that I want to do today but after yesterday, I know that there won’t be enough time!
I couldn’t believe it, that not long (seemingly) after writing the above, it was already 2pm! I feel like I got some things done today, even though it was probably less than yesterday.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
My student Namyen showing me how to make a quick video using CapCut. It was pretty simple in the end, though I think I need to figure out a way to make them generate a bit faster.
It’s fun, but I don’t want to spend too much time on it.
The best thing about today was:
Reading. Comics and books. 2000AD Judge Dredd, Lucifer, Platinum Grit, Totally Wired Post-punk interviews, Up Simba (David Foster Wallace).
Something I learned today?
I learned how to edit my own silly videos to post on Instagram.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I swept the entertainment area.
I took Amy and me to the 7-11 as she wanted something there and I used the opportunity for her to buy me an ice cream!
I took this picture because I felt something in my sandal and thought it was just a stone. I kicked it off and this monster came out! With two legs lost he struggled to run off in a straight line. I’m checking my shoes every time now!
Not too bad today, at least in the morning. I got up at a reasonable time, partly in preparation for going back to school tomorrow at the normal time.
I spent a few hours at Utopia reading and writing and could get myself into the flow for that which felt good.
By afternoon, though I ran out of energy and napped and have been lazy and run down since. I hope that feeling doesn’t carry over to tomorrow.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Noey being back from overseas and bringing me a couple of small gifts and making my coffee today. It was good to see her again and it sounded like she had a great time on her travels.
The best thing about today was:
Hmm – today felt like a day of two halves, the first with energy and positivity and whilst I still felt positive later, my lack of energy was disappointing. So nothing in particular stands out to me today.
Something I learned today?
I made my first poetry Instagram post today and will start learning more about it and give it a go to try and get some more eyes on my writing somehow. With no friends or followers added yet, though I have had zero views in 8 hours!
I also updated my MacBook and iPhone, which now means that I can mirror the iPhone and write directly from my keyboard into this app. This makes writing a lot easier and I would only have been able to do it before by paying for the premium option.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
By following students on Instagram, I found out that today is Rista’s birthday and so I sent her birthday wishes. She’s a nice, lively kid and I like her a lot.
A bit better again today, maybe at 85%. Struggled getting to sleep last night, maybe because I had slept so much the day before, thinking about classes and students and how things slowly change. I miss all my students in one way or another.
Today I’m grateful for:
Firstly, to the uni students at the PTT station who tried to help me put air in my bike tyres. Unfortunately, I think I fucked the tube by riding it there in the first place so nothing worked for it.
Secondly, to dependable 100-year-old uncle who replaced the tube for me, jabbering away at me about things, indicating that the tyre on the bike is too small. I didn’t want to remind him that it was him that put it on there! He also said that he could replace the starter battery but I told that that would have to wait until next month when I have more money.
Talking of which, the SpeechOdd/High Voltage records are due to be sent to me from the factory in Taiwan and I’m hoping not to get hit with too much customs tax. I also still have to pay for the cover printing too.
The best thing about today was:
There was a very good atmosphere around the school today for the last day before cracking down to studies.
Even though I could’ve gone home at 9 am I went to the cafe until midday doing some writing and lessons and then went back to school where I was greeted by students everywhere I went, I guess as I know many different students from grades 8 to 12 now.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was an ominous sign when arriving home to see two trucks from our internet provider out on the road and sure enough, there’s been no internet at home again since the afternoon.
Time to read or catch up on other things instead.
Something I learned today?
A jiffy is an actual unit of time, defined as 1/100th of a second.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I met Fui by chance at House this morning and he told me about a school in Bangkok that his son passed the exam to enter so I got the details and passed them onto Anchan. She would have lots of hurdles to face to pursue this option but at least she can be armed with information.
I complimented Kru Mai on his outrageous shirt today!
What emotions do I feel when I think about my future?
At the moment I feel pretty calm even though the future is uncertain about which direction it may go. I’m calm because I think I can deal with it whatever happens.
These days I get more stressed and disconsolate when I think about the futures for my students. I was thinking about this when I was talking to Fui today in connection with Anchan. A smart kid who knows that she needs to get out from where she is to improve her future but can’t afford to.
When you are struggling to afford new uniforms or lunch day to day, you can’t even consider going to Bangkok to take a free entrance exam for a better school (and think about even cheap fees and cheap accommodation – anything above 0 baht is out of reach.)
I took this screenshot from a video because iPhone called me over to be in the background of her video that she posted on Instagram. She didn’t let me down gently when she said that I won’t become famous!
Modern life is no poetic dream Fancy words for reality unseen Grey buildings, dull cars in commute Dead faces in an old fading suit
Stray dogs barking at stray cats Dead in the gutter, eaten by rats Rice fields planted on broken backs A pleasant vista for tourist snaps
Instagram cafes and beauty filters Made by dollar-a-day immigrant builders Sunsets on mountains, time to sleep Poetic minds now sunken deep
The toiling hordes have no time to play With words about their tortured day No romance in their existence The beautiful life kept at a distance
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have Amy here to take care of the house and cook for me. She is contemplating going to the USA with Takky for 3-4 months, so leaving me to take care of all these things. That will make me busy!
Blood and death? Is this all I am to hear for the rest of my days?
Could you not find pleasure in the act of love – Or have you become so perverted that you find excitement and entertainment only in brutality?
30th Jan 2022 – Poignant words in 2018 and still 4 years later, and, sadly, probably for any time in recent human history. I forget which comic this comes from and don’t recognise the character – maybe The Question. It’s kinda ironic to note that he is being brutal whilst complaining about others brutality!
I recently asked my students how to fix pollution and one laughingly suggested killing all humans. Drastic but perhaps the only real solution. They played out the whole scenario talking about everything else would just continue its normal cycle of growth and rebirth and perhaps one day humans would evolve again but with the ability to learn not to make the same mistakes.
1994ever 