When the beat of the drum becomes a banging and frontlines full of dead men left hanging, let’s raise white flags, redraw maps and decide unstable future’s by inequitable divide
Wheels forever turn Bloods boil and burn Guns forever bang Repeat sturm und drang
Ok but a little bit old man-weekendy. Having nothing in particular planned for today, beyond reading and playing guitar, without any externally imposed anxiety, means a deep unwinding which may fall into lethargy. A lethargy that doesn’t always make me happy.
At the same time, I realise that I also need to recover my energies.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
A new ice cream shop in the city that makes some nice homemade flavours, along with some cakes. I had Banoffee Pie ice cream with a piece of lemon tart and they were both delicious.
The best thing about today was:
Getting half price sushi buffet at Oshinei today. Typically, we ate too much, trying to get all the value that we could out of the deal.
We are both stuffed with just the one meal today!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
We went to the new Bath and Body Works that has opened for the first time in Chiang Rai. It was a smaller shop and a little underwhelming and it felt like everything was expensive just because we were in Chiang Rai.
Usually, when we visit this shop, it is in Chiang Mai or Bangkok and we have an expectation of overspending here!
Something I learned today?
We will get a week off for the New Year holiday this year. Nice!
Aing called us today and told us that she broke up with Now (which wasn’t that big of a surprise to be honest) but she also said that she has found another guy at her workplace (not in the same team though) and she looked super, super happy again.
I took this picture because some of my students call me Teacher Spoon, as my name in Thai sounds similar.
Good once I got going. I woke up stiff but tried my best with some tough ab exercises (tough for me!).
Lin told me this morning that my tummy was smaller today but I think she was teasing me!
I continued with my grade 8 classes in the same style as yesterday and that all went well (for me at least!)
Finishing off with just half of the students in my grade 11 class – the HAP students, as last week I only taught the J-Biz students and I knew the J-Biz kids could go and do preparation work for the Japan Day next month.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Gui at House contacting me saying that he will open again but he’s starting again at a new location in the city, which is a shame as it will be too far for me to go each day.
It was nice of him to contact me, though and let me know what he’s up to. I think I will try and get out on Tuesdays when I have a four-hour gap between classes. I will go to his new shop and also try a couple of others to see if I can find a nice spot again.
The best thing about today was:
Today was another one of those all-around good days with nothing in particular standing out as better than anything else. I like days like this.
I also think that going back to a full tablet of sertraline has had an immediate effect on my mood. I’m told that it’s such a low dose that it’s not even likely to be doing anything and it’s supposed to take a couple of weeks to take effect and perhaps it’s the placebo effect and all but either way, after just two days back at 50mg, I don’t have any bad feelings or thoughts.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was a little annoying to me to watch George just sitting in a classroom looking at his phone whilst his class were just playing games, doing make-up or messing around. I teach those students too, so I took the opportunity to help a couple of them whose work I didn’t have time to check during my class with them.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
David was getting frustrated with trying to print out his monthly report today and he asked me to help. I ribbed him about using a Windows laptop and even me trying to help didn’t fix the problem.
I asked him to send me the file so I could try it and, of course, it printed properly on the first try.
With my little windfall yesterday, I sent Anchan a little more money to support her.
I’m also trying to encourage Baipad to get back into drawing more, especially as it is something she shares in common with a boy she likes.
When I was coming back in from the cafe, some of my old grade 9 students were kicking a ball around, so I joined them. Next to us was another group of students also kicking a ball around.
Kru Ell was navigating her way between the two groups when the other group’s ball accidentally hit her on the head and hands, knocking her glasses off and spilling her drink to the ground.
The boys were super apologetic and I got the one boy who had kicked the ball to quickly go back into the cafe and get her another drink. Kru Ell’s glasses were ok and she was more shocked than anything – she didn’t blame the kids.
Toey took this picture of Baipad because they met after school tonight. I think she sent it to me to show how happy she was to meet him! Young romance.
Great with an underlying tiredness that isn’t really bothering me.
I got up and got going, enjoyed a couple of simple classes where I had time to interact a bit more with some of the poorer students.
Got home by 2 pm and straight into my room sorting more comic files and a bash around on guitar. With practising a little bit more this week, I can feel some improvement. The only downside is that with the dead hangs that I’ve been doing, my fingers aren’t quite moving so freely. Hopefully they will as they get used to be used.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Mai helping me by switching one of my Friday classes to Wednesday so that I have more to do on Wednesday and fewer hours to teach on Friday.
The best thing about today was:
No one thing in particular. It was a good day all round. I have a suspicion that I will be very tired and catching up on rest on Saturday, though.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing stands out here today. Everything went well enough.
Something I learned today?
In my classes, I notice subtle changes in relationships and today I talked with Wipping in the morning, who is fed up with some of the nonsense that goes on with her friend group. She separated herself a little to concentrate on studying, and I talked with her a little about how she is probably a bit more mature than her friends, but that they will catch up one day and she should hang in there.
Later, Miyor arrived with a different friend group than usual and she told me later that she and Khaofang had a falling out over nothing much. Those two are always clashing over something, though and I wonder if things will be back to normal again next week.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I messaged Kru Jern about our student Nomsen, as she always complains about a headache and wanting to sleep. She also has lots of sores on her arms and she says it is because she is itchy.
I asked Kru Jern to check in with her because whatever issues Nomsen is having, it is affecting her ability to concentrate in class. She’s a good kid and I like her and want to give her all the opportunities that I can whilst she is my student.
I took this picture because when I got home, Tigger was here chattering away. I’m not sure what he was talking about. There was nothing obvious outside the window.
How can you ever let me down? We’re not made to be broken Just like fools, we left so much unspoken Now the future is a past that’s come back around We were made to be broken How could you ever let me down?
Not bad once I got going, it was a struggle to get up this morning and my right shoulder was a little achy from using the new silica scrubs I ordered from Temu in the shower last night. For some reason, I had a sudden urge to clean.
Amy came with me this morning as she had some things to do in the city and she’ll pick me up again at 2.30 for my only day of the week to be able to get home a little early.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
My old students, Ploy and Ozone, playfully begging me to teach them again. I’m not sure exactly what brought this on for them but it made me feel good.
I wish I could teach everyone who begs to be taught!
The best thing about today was:
Listening to my grade 8s attempting to read a reasonably difficult passage of text and doing way better than I expected.
They are no longer afraid to try and to fail or get things wrong. Though some still need to be pushed to work because they are not really interested, I can see that they do have the capabilities if they so desired. Unfortunately, they are too busy with distractions most of the time.
Something I learned today?
Today I learned something that has left me a little stunned.
When Amy picked me up, she told me that she had gone to Nut’s house to have lunch with her and Bee, as Bee was visiting the psych at MFU.
Bee then told the whole story about her and George and it is fucking amazing!
Firstly, Bee moved out of their house about 3 years ago and they have been separate ever since! All this time, we have been saying that George was holding her back and that she was stupid to stay and she had actually already left.
This got me thinking about why she never said anything before and it turns out that George is still trying to influence her and to keep things secret from other people.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. We were all shocked to know that they were actually married! Neither of them had ever told any one of us so-called friends about this.
And why did she leave? She finally had enough of his vicious manipulation and control and had to get away from him. She said that he is totally self-absorbed and selfish. He has no friends and only cares about himself.
Well, those things I had figured out for myself and now I feel completely validated. He is indeed the dark empath, the smiling narcissist.
Bee said that he talks badly about everybody behind their backs. This is also a reminder for me to try and not to do the same thing but this one is going to be difficult, as I would love to put him in his place. I’d like to wipe that smirking smile off his face!
Interesting that Kru Mai said George no longer talks with him in the teachers’ room but that George has told others that it is Kru Mai who no longer talks to him!
My mind is blown by all these revelations and it makes me feel more confident in myself. All those times he tried to manipulate and control me, too and got upset when I refused to comply – it’s all making sense and falling into place.
I should never have doubted myself. I realise now that on quite a few occasions in my past, I have been a very good judge of character.
I learned a lot about myself today and that’s great!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I bought an inspirational poster online and put it up in one of my classrooms today. I will refer to it at different times during my lessons.
I took this picture because today is Halloween and crazy little Winter wore this to school. He is fucking hilarious!
1994ever 