Life Is Pain – 29th November 2024

With my demons, I wrestle
While probing fingers point
Storm clouds gather undecided
In search of a swollen joint

Tickled tortures beyond pain
With needles under nails
Washed away on the tides
Of one-too-many fails

Without you, I would no longer exist

Shared with dVerse Quadrille #213 – with


Today I’m feeling:

Good once I got going. I woke up stiff but tried my best with some tough ab exercises (tough for me!).

Lin told me this morning that my tummy was smaller today but I think she was teasing me!

I continued with my grade 8 classes in the same style as yesterday and that all went well (for me at least!)

Finishing off with just half of the students in my grade 11 class – the HAP students, as last week I only taught the J-Biz students and I knew the J-Biz kids could go and do preparation work for the Japan Day next month.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Gui at House contacting me saying that he will open again but he’s starting again at a new location in the city, which is a shame as it will be too far for me to go each day.

It was nice of him to contact me, though and let me know what he’s up to. I think I will try and get out on Tuesdays when I have a four-hour gap between classes. I will go to his new shop and also try a couple of others to see if I can find a nice spot again.

The best thing about today was:

Today was another one of those all-around good days with nothing in particular standing out as better than anything else. I like days like this.

I also think that going back to a full tablet of sertraline has had an immediate effect on my mood. I’m told that it’s such a low dose that it’s not even likely to be doing anything and it’s supposed to take a couple of weeks to take effect and perhaps it’s the placebo effect and all but either way, after just two days back at 50mg, I don’t have any bad feelings or thoughts.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was a little annoying to me to watch George just sitting in a classroom looking at his phone whilst his class were just playing games, doing make-up or messing around. I teach those students too, so I took the opportunity to help a couple of them whose work I didn’t have time to check during my class with them.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

David was getting frustrated with trying to print out his monthly report today and he asked me to help. I ribbed him about using a Windows laptop and even me trying to help didn’t fix the problem.

I asked him to send me the file so I could try it and, of course, it printed properly on the first try.

With my little windfall yesterday, I sent Anchan a little more money to support her.

I’m also trying to encourage Baipad to get back into drawing more, especially as it is something she shares in common with a boy she likes.

When I was coming back in from the cafe, some of my old grade 9 students were kicking a ball around, so I joined them. Next to us was another group of students also kicking a ball around.

Kru Ell was navigating her way between the two groups when the other group’s ball accidentally hit her on the head and hands, knocking her glasses off and spilling her drink to the ground.

The boys were super apologetic and I got the one boy who had kicked the ball to quickly go back into the cafe and get her another drink. Kru Ell’s glasses were ok and she was more shocked than anything – she didn’t blame the kids.

Toey took this picture of Baipad because they met after school tonight. I think she sent it to me to show how happy she was to meet him! Young romance.

8 thoughts on “Life Is Pain – 29th November 2024

  1. Shaun, I read your poem again and again. It resonates with me. With so much pain that comes along with life, I have to wonder if you’re right. Without it, is it possible to continue? Maybe it is the fear of pain that makes us grow old? Maybe we should embrace it? Thank you for joining in on the prompt.

    Do you want to link up in Mr. Linky so others can read your offering?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! 🙏

      I tattoed LIFE IS PAIN, I WANT TO BE INSANE onto my arm when I was still in school. I liked the phrase and it was also a tattoo that an idol of mine at the time had.

      Friends thought I was stupid. Later, adults thought that I already was insane. But the more I read and learned over time this phrase and paraphrasing of it came up again and again in philosophy.

      At first I didn’t really understand my struggle and wanted to either fight back or hide from the world. As I have gotten older I’ve learned to embrace it and the reward that comes from it.

      Sometimes the demons still come and look for a fight with me but I’m better prepared now.

      The link is up now. I autopost when I’m sleeping and add to Mr Linky when I get chance in the morning. 👍

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, Shaun. I just googled the phrase and the first thing that came up was American Psycho? I think if you can’t dance to the beat of your own drum, whose should you dance to. I was just watching Democracy Now! and listening to an interview with writer and Howard U professor, Ta-Nehisi Coates, where he talks about the carefully constructed social architecture that we are expected to inhabit and encourages people to recognize it and to build one’s own house. Thanks for letting me ramble on 🙂

        p.s. I won’t bug you anymore about linking up as you have your own system of doing it.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m not sure what American Psycho is but my inspiration was Henry Rollins/Black Flag and he has this phrase as a tattoo.

          Re: Ta-Nehisi Coates – I think I have used a quote of theirs here before 👍

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