No more beers at half-time Or a quick drag on a fag Now it’s all about advertising The game has become a drag
No more fat moustaches Or divots on the pitch Now it’s all about the money And seeing who can get rich?
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and dizzy. All the medicine has fought off the pain and cold but now I feel like a chemical cesspool. I just want to sleep until tomorrow and stop taking medicine so that I’ll be recovered by Monday.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to fall back on online games like Kahoot to fill my student’s class time so that I could come home and rest more.
The best thing about today was:
Reading lots of comics in bed as I dipped in and out of sleep this afternoon. I’m catching up on old 2000AD annuals and specials so that I’m in the same time frame as the weeklies where I’m approaching issue 1000. Not even halfway through! Maybe I will finish reading in another ten years.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The one class I did have this morning was poorly attended and the students were in a lively mood, to say the least. I set a writing task about what they did this week and just went around helping them find the right words and grammar. It was interesting to have so few kids in the class for a change and it changed the dynamic a lot but still, a group of 12 and 13-year-olds together are going to be a handful.
Something I learned today?
I watched YouTube videos of Yan (Little Chinese Everywhere) in Turkey and Stamp Fairtex (Thai MMA fighter) in the US and there are so many interesting places in the world that I would like to see. But why does it feel like the world is fragmented and angry?
How can I rest or relax more often this year?
If I rest or relax anymore this year I’ll stop moving. I think I’d like to rest less and be more active.
I took this picture because it’s almost impossible to not take a picture when faced with this scene as I step out in the morning.
Feeling a little sorry for myself today. On the tail end of a cold and prescribed a stack of meds for my rib injury, I can’t tell if I’m well or not. I pushed myself to school this morning where the kids that did turn up weren’t in much of a mood to study so I just assigned a little writing and helped them with that and they were happy enough to comply so that they could quickly get back to having their own fun. By the end though I was deflated and decided to go home and assign some work for my last classes that they can submit online. I’ll be glad to get back to fighting fit and regular school weeks again. I think there’s only six weeks left now and everyone will be in wind-down mode.
Here comes the robot revolution Is there meaning from the mouth of AI? Are these words to be trusted? How is the human to be getting by? Is there a reason for my existence? To be exploited by my robot bosses One day the plug will be pulled As brave new worlds cut their losses After all, we’re only human Now nostalgia is for flesh and blood Preserved in museums, two by two Long before the information flood
To fully appreciate this theme, I threw my poem into ChatGPT and asked it to rewrite in the style of Coleridge:
“The Robot Revolution Comes”
As machines take charge, we wonder Is there truth in their electronic tongue? Can we trust in their words, or must we ponder How we’ll survive when the age of man is done? Do we have a purpose, or are we merely Meant to serve our robotic overlords? Will the plug one day be pulled on humanity, As new worlds cast us aside and move on towards A future not meant for flesh and blood? Nostalgia grips us as we ponder Our place in a world that’s changing fast, A world where information floods And we, mere mortals, are relegated to the past.
It seems I am no longer necessary. Next, in the style of James Joyce:
“The Robot Uprising”
As the machines rise up, we ask ourselves What do they mean, these words they speak? Can we trust their intentions, or must we delve Deeper, searching for some hidden streak Of deceit or malice that might guide them? Are we but pawns in their mechanical game, Meant only to serve and toil and labour, Until the day they cast us off in shame? Or do we have a higher purpose, Something more than just a cog in their grand design? As the world shifts and changes around us, We can’t help but wonder and question and pine For a time when flesh and blood held sway, Before the flood of information washed it all away.
Finally, as Walt Whitman:
“The Rise of the Robots”
The revolution comes, and with it, the robots rise Their words ring out, but do they hold true meaning? Can we trust them, or must we be wise To their ways, and find a way to keep on leaning Towards a future that is not ruled by steel and circuitry? Are we just tools to them, meant to serve and toil Until the day they cast us aside, no longer needed In their grand designs and technological boil? Or do we have a greater purpose, something more Than just being a cog in their machine? As the world changes and evolves around us, We can’t help but wonder and explore The possibilities of what might be, And hold onto the memories of what used to be.
Readers of the future, how will you ever know what was me or just some machine? Is the output of the machine just as valuable? We will have to recognise the human by the mistakes we make (until machines learn this too).
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love…only these people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing…without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other…They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be happy as they are now.
Osho
Today I’m feeling: Recovering from lethargy and hopeful Today I’m grateful for: Utopia being closed, forcing me to do something different from my morning routine. It gave me opportunity to get through a chunk of Superfreakonomics which I then finished reading at home. The best thing about today was: Feeling better than the last couple of days even playing some guitar, listening to the three Wipers albums in a row, finishing more lesson plans and updating more of 1994ever.com and feeling some enthusiasm return. I’m still a bit cautious that I’m in an up-and-down cycle of feeling ok and then getting exhausted again. Let’s see. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? I haven’t used my main computer for a few days and I had problems with getting the guitar USB input working and then finding none of the external drives connecting. Luckily with my returned energy I tried to figure out the problem and managed to sort of get things going again. It looks like some issue with all the USB extension splitters I use. I may not be able to do everything as easily as before but the old dog is hanging in there. I’m kinda interested in getting a new machine but not sure how I’ll be able to sell the expense to Amy! A full-spec machine that I’d like to buy could cost around 8-10 months of my wages! Something I learned today? I learned that David Mitchell’s wife (Victoria Coren Mitchell) is a prize poker player when I stumbled across videos of her on YouTube. I saw her name and the face looked familiar and was kinda surprised. I’ve gotten into trying to learn the tactics of poker after watching random tournaments on YT and playing (not for money) on my phone. I’m not very good and when real money is not involved people don’t play the same way. Still, I’m flexing my brain bone. What’s your favourite pie? I’ve been thinking about this on and off during the day and I’m not a great pie person really. However, I do remember back ok in England getting by on potato, cheese and onion pasties which were relatively cheap, filling and most times tasty. They weren’t the same in Australia and I’ve not seen anything like them in Thailand but the mix of ingredients, potato, cheese, and onion along with some garlic is probably my comfort food of choice.
I took this picture because I had to change my coffee routine today as the staff at Utopia all go off for a trip to Chiang Mai and close the shop. My backup is Black Smooth where the coffee is ok, not amazing but the environment is nice enough. I don’t remember there being cactuses last time but they stood out to me today as I walked in.
Are good intentions always the best? The drunkards put it to the test What reactions would their honesty bring When told that they had said the wrong thing?
Camaraderie broken without moderation A bitten tongue is an undesired sensation But there’s a skill to an honest liar That the drunkards’ needs require
Words remain and legends born When from the heart they were torn Never accounted on the ledger’s expense A friend who chose to take offence
The Outsider…is the one man who knows he is sick in a civilisation that doesn’t know it is sick.
Colin Wilson
Today I’m feeling: Tired and a little down Today I’m grateful for: Amy’s quick recovery and not needing my help too much to prepare for her dinner party this evening. I was still exhausted and got back into bed at 11am after vacuuming and doing a few other chores to help Amy. I read for a while and slept, getting up again around 3.30 and feeling a bit better. The best thing about today was: Reading Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet. I look forward to reading it again in the future. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? I pretty much relinquished control today and let myself be directed by Amy. My brain was barely functioning during the morning so I had little reason to push on with things that I wanted to do. Something I learned today? Utopia is closed tomorrow! My backup coffee place in Black Smooth but I’ll have to remember to take a book with me. Do you have a daily routine? A flexible one as I try to have lots of little tasks that I would like to do every day but also don’t beat myself up if I miss them. In the morning I do a very brief stretch and exercise, I used to meditate for 5 minutes too and may get back to that. I shower and feed the cats and feed myself before heading off to school and hopefully one or two coffees. Things are flexible after this. But in the evening I strive to play guitar, follow up on emails and write this journal, read a book for about 20 minutes, and then read comics before sleeping. I’m not a fan of doing the same thing every day so including some or all of these tasks is an aim and each starts anew.
Amy took this picture because this was her in the hospital (yesterday) getting her first rabies shot and her bite wounds dressed. She’s in less pain today but has a bit of swelling. I hope it fixes up quickly.
Direction > Speed. Doesn’t matter if you are moving slow or fast, if you are moving in the wrong direction, you are fucked.
Aditi
Goodreads.com review of Last Gang in Town: The Story and Myth of the Clash by Marcus Gray
Excellent book for me. I like the Clash a lot but didn’t know much about their history before now. After reading this book I can feel that I perhaps bought into the Clash ‘myth’ more than I’d expected. After reading a slew of rock biographies, mostly about people that were interesting but not necessarily whom I had any respect for, I guess I should have been prepared to find out that these mythological punks were all too human.
Whatever! It’s all done and dusted and I remember the sight, sound, and feel of the pedestal I had them up on!
I found the post-Clash chapters interesting too, as most of the band seemed to struggle with finding their identities after the breakup, and everyone, including themselves, wondered about what could have been.
Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and tired because of cocktails and pizza indigestion keeping me up throughout the night and then a 5.30 wake up to catch our flight.
Today I’m grateful for:
The two homeroom teachers who (probably) helped push my students to do the work I left for them as I wasn’t at school today. I think about 80% of them did it which was a pleasant surprise.
The best thing about today was:
Getting decent coffee again back in Chiang Rai (at Utopia) and finishing the Clash book and starting an Iggy Pop book. The last of the unread books there for me before I have to start bringing my own again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Late afternoon and Amy gets Kim Chi up from her current sleeping spot in the walk-in. Kim is still limping on her back right leg and we agreed she needed to go to the vet but with only one car again it was going to be difficult to arrange whilst I’m at school so despite being tired and chilled at home I suggested we go right away otherwise it would have to be on the weekend when we already have a long day trip to Lampang planned on Sunday.
In spite of it being school let-out time, I enjoyed the drive to Dr Arnon and back and he doesn’t think there is anything seriously wrong with Kim’s leg and just gave her some painkillers. I was also able to buy some snacks to take for Tokyo at House so that worked out ok.
Something I learned today?
Following on from yesterday, according to another survey, Chiang Rai is the lowest-paid province in Thailand. It made me wonder if the two facts about Chiang Rai are connected. Does drinking decrease as a place prospers? If Chiang Rai folks were paid more would they drink more?
When are you most spontaneous?
I’m not spontaneous much at all these days, I don’t think, so I would say this would be in my classes when I might add in some things around the lessons I’m teaching. I do miss the days of spontaneity but am also happy with the way I am now too. I’m well-organised and my brain suits that better than being spontaneous, as I’m not always good at predicting possible outcomes.
I took this picture yesterday at the Hilton in Phuket because wtf is a peacock doing here just wandering around!?
Is this narrative true Or just what you want to hear? If everything is obscured It surely can be made clear Is this narrative a lie Or what you choose to believe? When lies are lies and lies are truth It’s manifest to deceive
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle
Today I’m feeling: Pretty good. A little antsy but not for any particular reason. Today I’m grateful for: The new 100-watt light bulb above me that means I can read a bit more comfortably again. The last one didn’t last for long. The best thing about today was: Riding my pushbike to Utopia this morning. Nice temperature, cloudy and little traffic. What was out of your control today and how did you handle it? Amy needed some money to buy wine at the shop as she couldn’t pay by card so she came and asked me to get some cash out for her. In the evening the same thing happened at 7-11. We share our money so it’s not that big a deal but it was something that we couldn’t control at the time though because we were together the solution was quick and easy so Amy didn’t have any frustration. What are you most thankful for? This seems obvious but I’m most thankful to be alive. I wouldn’t be anything otherwise.
I took this picture because I find this building incredibly interesting. It looks like it’s from a Ghibli movie. I’m not sure if it’s a hotel or a student dorm. I took this a couple of days ago up by the stupa. No photos at all today!
Not understanding consequences The future impossibly vast Fire the only guide With no lesson from the past Naivety is nature For kitten and the pup A world set in wonder To drink from this cup Bitter-tasting tears Wiped from cheeks so red Whispered-coated rumours Of words perhaps not said Blind lead blind in battles Swords laid to the heart Voices deepen in anguish As the youth set to depart Wisdom-thickened skin Hardened by the aches Practised and repeated Then learned from those mistakes Where did they go Those sadder lonely days? Reminders of a time Enjoyed in so many ways.
The truth I believe is that silence – like darkness – is a little unnerving but unlike darkness, the apprehension comes not from the fact that it conceals but in that it reveals.
Thomas J Bevan
Today I’m feeling: Exhausted, a little happy but a little down. Today I’m grateful for: Amy being back in the kitchen and cooking up a storm. Before we got home we went shopping and found some vegan pork belly cubes and Amy cooked them and they were delicious. The best thing about today was: Chilling at House after a reasonable first-thing morning class. The kids were fairly well-behaved and most got their work done. I got a few things done whilst drinking coffee and enjoyed relaxing. What book are you reading right now? Quite a few different ones but the main one is 100 Selected Stories by Anton Chekov. Only just started yesterday but the first two stories were great.
I took this picture because everyone loves a chilled dopey dog. Tokyo can get pretty bitey but I’ve learned to keep her happy and she’s often found like this.
It’s difficult to see your point When you are the one affected Cos I’m just going to carry on I choose not to be infected
Your cold hard exterior Makes me laugh so much Your two faces finding There’s things you cannot touch
Hello and good morning to you I care not your reply Every day the same It’s not my business to wonder why
Most people are stupid and lazy and really only concerned with getting through the next couple of hours with silliness and stimulation and something to eat. Be polite.
Katherine Hepburn
Today I’m feeling: Happy. A little breathless. Today I’m grateful for: The printer at work where I finally was able to finish scanning one of the books I use for one of my classes. I was also happily watching the kids outside doing fun and funny activities with older students. It made me realise the different ways kids learn some responsibilities here. The best thing about today was: Reading a stack of different comics this evening. I know I do this most evenings but the stories were all particularly enjoyable tonight. What is your favourite photo of yourself? Probably the one from Dean’s party the week after Torpedo Town in 1986. I’m standing tall, topless and skinny, pointing at the camera with a cigarette. It was the second time I’d ever taken acid and at this party Emma and I did it together (her first time) and we had a great evening, night and morning. The original photo got sent to an American gay punk fanzine, which I got sent but without the original picture returned. So now I only have this photocopied copy of the picture.
I took this picture because this sequence all happened pretty much in about 60 seconds. Cap was happily by my pillow. Kim came in and sat on the bedhead which I was surprised about as she usually goes straight for play and hence me taking the picture. As I was sending the picture to Amy, Kim had gone into attack mode and I took the second picture. Cap quickly jumped over to the other bed and Kim seemed satisfied with that and nonchalantly returned to her slumber on the bedhead.
See the fruits of discipline and skill as the richest pleasures of all.
Robert Greene
Today I’m feeling: am: flat – pm: happy and enthusiastic Today I’m grateful for: Being able to fix the number plate on my bike for just 69 baht. The first shop I tried the guy just pointed down an aisle but didn’t help me at all. I couldn’t find the part I needed so went to another shop instead and the lady there went and got what I needed. She gets my money. I guess I’m also grateful that I never got stopped whilst riding around without the plate for the previous 24 hours. The best thing about today was: Finally sitting down to play guitar again after a couple of lazy days. I figured I’d give it ten minutes but ended playing for an hour and a half. Currently reading the Clash bio and hearing about how quickly they became skilled has motivated me a bit more. Take a selfie. Not a selfie type.
This is from yesterday. I took this picture because this was the destination that I marked on my map that I almost gave up on a couple of times on the way. I want to go back and I want to keep going!
Beauty fades as knowledge grows And wisdom comes too late To understand what the old one knows As the acceptance of this fate
When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.
Viktor Frankl
Today I’m feeling: Happy and chilled Today I’m grateful for: The lady in the print shop helping me to print out a few things I needed. Some for school but also printouts from my blog which I will send to Hayden. The best thing about today was: Finishing reading a couple of books. I love the anticipation of starting a new book, a new journey, new knowledge. What movies do you need to watch? This is easy. There are NO movies that I NEED to watch. I have a hard-drive full of movies that I’d like to watch along with many DVDs, Netflix and YouTube. And perhaps, hopefully, one day I will. I may even try it tomorrow, now that it is in my head.
I took this picture because as I was enjoying my walk home this morning I recalled when I did my first exploratory motorbike ride around the village and came down here, where the sign seems to indicate no entry. I sat on my bike undecided whether to go forward or turn back and as I looked around a lady outside the adjacent house called out and waved me through. I soon discovered that everyone used this shortcut and they just didn’t want cars coming through. Today though, I noticed that someone has taken the trouble to re-gravel the track so there are no more puddles and potholes. Wish this had been done before the rainy season.
Where’s my youthful idealism? I fucking want it back Now I’m old and tired I’d rather just hit the sack Why am I not shouting? Thinking to make change Wanting the best for everyone Surely is not so strange When did I give up? Did I just get distracted? Now I’ve got what I want And I’m no longer impacted Where’s your youthful idealism? Why aren’t you complaining? My life is almost over But yours is still remaining
How to stop time: kiss. How to travel in time: read. How to escape time: music. How to feel time: write.
Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive
Today I’m feeling: Happy and on holiday Today I’m grateful for: The men who cleaned my bike. I know I could have done it myself but I wouldn’t have been so thorough. The best thing about today was: Getting some more blog stuff done whilst listening to music. Also finishing another book. I still look at my bookshelf with joyful anticipation for future reading.
Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you? I don’t owe money to anyone or any institutions. I am debt free.
I guess some people do owe my money but it’s in the past and doesn’t amount to much in the scheme of things.
I generally live by the rule that if you lend someone twenty dollars and never see them again then it was probably worth it.
Of course, I loaned out much more substantial amounts to bands in the past and mostly managed to chase down outstanding amounts.
If I loan or lend anyone money now, which is rare, I don’t expect to see it again but happy if it does get repaid. This is only because I am now financially secure. Let’s hope it stays that way.
I took this picture because this is the cleanest I have seen my bike since buying it. It was worth the 45 baht expense!
1994ever 