Tag: reading

Youthful Idealism – 10th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where’s my youthful idealism?
I fucking want it back
Now I’m old and tired
I’d rather just hit the sack
Why am I not shouting?
Thinking to make change
Wanting the best for everyone
Surely is not so strange
When did I give up?
Did I just get distracted?
Now I’ve got what I want
And I’m no longer impacted
Where’s your youthful idealism?
Why aren’t you complaining?
My life is almost over
But yours is still remaining

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.

Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and on holiday
Today I’m grateful for:
The men who cleaned my bike. I know I could have done it myself but I wouldn’t have been so thorough.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some more blog stuff done whilst listening to music. Also finishing another book. I still look at my bookshelf with joyful anticipation for future reading.

Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?
I don’t owe money to anyone or any institutions. I am debt free.

I guess some people do owe my money but it’s in the past and doesn’t amount to much in the scheme of things.

I generally live by the rule that if you lend someone twenty dollars and never see them again then it was probably worth it.

Of course, I loaned out much more substantial amounts to bands in the past and mostly managed to chase down outstanding amounts.

If I loan or lend anyone money now, which is rare, I don’t expect to see it again but happy if it does get repaid. This is only because I am now financially secure. Let’s hope it stays that way.

I took this picture because this is the cleanest I have seen my bike since buying it. It was worth the 45 baht expense!

Favourite Trick – 19th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I forgot my brain
Left it on the train
Picked up legs
And off it ran
Driving me insane
I lost my head
Getting out of bed
Overthinking, thinking thunk
Overdrinking, dranken drunk
Nonsense that I said
Myself found lost
Paying the cost
Apple core
With nothing more
Than being tossed
I cut off my dick
When I was being sick
Flushed it down the bowl
I’ll never tell a soul
It was my favourite trick

…an ocean of salt tears could not melt the resolution of the statues.

Danforth, The Crucible

Today I’m grateful for:
Ploughing on and finishing reading Gormenghast. Excellent. Just one more in the trilogy to go and I can send them back to Sharon. Slaughterhouse 5 first though.
The best thing about today was:
Champ buying me a coffee at House, where I took him because he wanted to get out of school for a break. He seemed really happy with my teaching, or at least with my bloody-mindedness to try and get these kids disciplined to enjoy studying. It was certainly nice to get positive feedback.

I took this picture because I’d never seen this fruit before. It was growing alongside a mulberry tree at House. Apparently, it’s not edible, which is surprising because it’s an attractive colour.

The New Conversation – 16th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Now preoccupied where once just occupied
Satisfaction for a second is hardly satisfied
Amusing ourselves to death for what?
A triumph of the trivial is all that we’ve got

Contestants fall as they forget about moderation
Convinced that each click is a real conversation
Expert calculations fix the algorithm of fame
And every Tom, Jane and Harry happily does the same

Inspired by a blog post at Oxford Sour

To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.

W. Somerset Maugham

Today I’m grateful for:

Bruno messaging me and asking if I wanted some hummus that Nut has made. I’ll drop around tomorrow and pick some up. Haven’t had hummus in a long time.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying my class with 1/6 where they were able to relax and have some fun for my last class of the week. It rounded out my week well and takes me nicely into the weekend.

I took this picture because I get to stay in Thailand for another year. Hooray!
Fatman report

The Pudding – 9th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

It’s said one reaps what they sow
And you’ve been poisoned by the fruit
Of the promised land you know
As the soil has infected the root
You wrestled for control by force
Claimed that you’d known best
The proof is in the pudding of course
Feeding a state of unrest
The future is not written in stone
But mistakes must be owned and reversed
Otherwise, you’ll end up alone
And seen as forever being cursed

Even if you think you are stuck between two impossible choices, there’s always a third way. You just have to look for it.

Marcus Sedgwick

Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to come home early and enjoy my time here.
The best thing about today was:
Spending two hours playing guitar. It was fun.

I took this picture because I was enjoying reading time in the hammock this morning when I was supposed to have been at school.

The Week That Was – 2nd December 1979

Pick Up – 8th September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Stay with me, but only come when I call
Knowing you’re there is enough consolation
My pain is mine, not to share at all
I work things out in my own isolation
A quiet word whispered at the right time
I’ll ask for your help when required
When I’m alone all the time is mine
I’ll call when I feel uninspired

No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.

C.G. Jung, Letters Vol II

Today I’m grateful for:
The salad man being at the market today as I really wanted to eat salad!
The best thing about today was:
Getting absorbed into reading more of Gormenghast. I couldn’t stop.

I took this picture because just a couple of minutes before this the sun was shining and I’d not long gotten home from a quick bike ride to get food. The wind had blown open the screen doors and blown rain in and even the garage floor had gotten wet. With a flash of lightning close by that zapped me whilst I played guitar and a second later, a huge peal of thunder and the wind was gone and the rain soon after.

Duk Dik – 20th June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Always active, nervous twitching
Under the skin, blood is itching
Actions precede thought
Which evaporate to nought
Leaving all around you bitching

11th Sept 2023 – In Thai ‘duk dik’ means constantly moving around. This phrase can be used for my students in most of my classes.

The highs and lows I have known have turned me inward to the point where I’ll never feel anything close to normal. I don’t feel isolated, I don’t want in… There’s no confession to make, there’s no truth burning to come ripping out of me… I will always make relationships with people an approximation of a relationship. I think that’s better. I think things are more beautiful when you’re on the outside.

Henry Rollins

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to find the books I want to read from Dasa Books in Bangkok or even able to order from overseas using Amazon.

Make It – 17th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Yeah, we’re gonna make it
But only by the skin of our teeth
Possibly we’ll break it
But somewhere we have to find belief
Maybe we’ll mistake it
For an eternity all too brief
Probably we’ll fake it
Wallowing in an illusion of relief

The more you have to lose, the more fragile you are.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for an extra day off school. I could get a lot of writing, reading and guitaring done. Bonus.

The Week That Was – 15th July 1979
The Week That Was – 22nd July 1979

Happy Weeds – 16th April 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In this garden of life
I’m a simple weed, underachieving
Yet I can grow anywhere
And I’ll never stop believing
Happily, I join in chorus
As fellow weeds, we will survive
Take whatever is thrown at us
We’re just glad to be alive

I refuse to grow younger. I came by my decreptitude the hard way and I propose to enjoy it.

Jubal, Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert Heinlein

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to read all the great stories that smart people took the trouble to write, whether it’s comics or books.

Fatman report

The Nail – 15th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Outstanding achievement award
All goals met and all points scored
But being the best
Separates the rest
The nail gets hammered as reward
Punished for not playing along
Subscribe to strive to belong
It’s a constant battle
Fighting the cattle
A nail stuck is seen as wrong
Maintain a smile and never frown
No pinks and yellows, only brown
If you use your mind
You soon will find
A nail stood out gets hammered down

The laughter of fools cannot wound the wise.

Judge Death, 2000AD

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to feel pretty good on little sleep this morning. Last night I stayed up until past midnight, reading articles and comics. It felt good.

Carrying The Pain Of The World – 20th December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The more you learn about life
And the wiser that you get
There’s more responsibility
In carrying the pain that is met

This is love, the sacrifice
The willingness to forgive and forget
If this lesson is never learned
A life is lived full of regret

Inspired and quoted by interviews with Christmas tree sellers in New York at the Cafe Anne newsletter

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this sneaky day off work and being able to read a stack of comics in my free time. My mind is taken to so many different places when I read.