We got that attitude! – 28th November 2019

When do you feel most yourself?

Hmmm… this is a tough question! Is it when I am happy and overjoyed with life? Is it when I am grumpy and down (which is how I have most often felt in my life)?

At times I felt most myself during a successful show I had put together, enjoying the music and feeling, the pleasure of everyone around me.

I often feel myself when I’m mostly occupied with something, though even when I’m lazing around I’m usually reading or watching something meaningful.

Gratitude Journal

I am still so happy and grateful for sports day yesterday. It was so much fun and the kids had a great time. I think they will be unsettled today but never mind. I also got sunburned and sweated a lot but today I feel pretty good. I need to integrate some exercise into my habits so I feel this way more.

Who the fuck are you to tell me who my friends are? – 27th November 2019

Who are you comparing yourself to?

I think I compare myself with most people in my life. Friends, family, relations. Is it productive? I’m not often jealous of things other people do or things that they have, except their happiness or serenity. They often seem more capable to deal with things, though perhaps they’re not? It’s just what it looks like to me.

I noticed recently some people saying things bad about others and took it to be more about themselves – so and so is a miserable bastard, he’s a moron…etc… I have to make sure to catch myself if I ever do that.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that it is sports day today and that I don’t have to teach. Many of the foreign teachers are hiding away inside maybe preparing lesson plans etc but I think I’ll hang around with the kids because this is the best time to be with them. They feel free and happy and will try to talk more than in the classes. The kids are why I’m here.

If there was some sense to make I’d try and understand – 26th November 2019

What makes you most excited?

When I first looked at this question I found within myself a general lack of excitement. Not in a bad way. I enjoy many many things that I do or can do but there’s nothing in particular that makes me excited. Everything at the moment is giving me great satisfaction.

The one main thing I have planned is to organise a tour for Kevin from Trumans Water and we’ve been talking about it for a while and yesterday I started contacting the first promoters and the first show kinda fell together so quickly and easily that it has given me confidence in being able to make it work and to do a good job.

I’m looking forward to visiting a couple of new places such as Kota Kinabalu and Yogyakarta. I’m also looking forward to hanging out with Kevin as Trumans Water has been a favourite band of mine for a long time. I still feel a sense of adventure stronger than a sense of excitement though.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Kru Tam to help me fix some things at school so that I can teach the lessons I want to teach. Some of the rooms don’t have video set up properly and a technician needs to come and fix the TV screens. Thankfully Kru Tam is there to help me sort it out.

18 Apr 2021 – None of the things that would have helped me got fixed in the end and I had to come up with other ideas. But at least the Thai teachers looked as if they were helping me!

We got that attitude! – 24th November 2019

I have approximately 10,000 days more to live. What are two or three principles you want to live by over these days?

3 principles I would like to live by for the rest of my days? What principles do I live by now?

One principle I have always tried to maintain is to try and be open-minded and understanding of other points of view. At the same time, I would like to be confident enough in my ability to be able to clearly express any point of view I may have.

I have often been contentious before, sometimes just to play devil’s advocate. I should be more understanding of other people’s beliefs and ideas, maybe learning where they come from, rather than rejecting them.

I find I have a fascination with Islam due to not understanding it enough or having the familiarity with it. An exotic religion if you like. Having grown up in a Christian country I can see how dull and rigid its dogma is. I have no doubt about Islam’s dogma but still find it fascinating.

So, #1 – the principle of an open mind.

#2 – Related to #1 is to never stop learning and growing. Doing the opposite leads to a closed mind. Thankfully I’ve grown to enjoy learning more about how the world works as it helps me learn about myself.

#3 – This one is a tough one. To not take offence and get and get angry when someone makes a personal attack on me of my work. Let it do. Don’t let it bother you. This means they have won.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful today for the clouds! Taking the edge off the insane heat. I’ve been standing in the sun a lot this past week as the kids had sports every afternoon. It was such a lot of fun to play with them that I accepted getting burned as part of the deal. Maybe time to invest in skin whitening cream!

We got that attitude! – 14th November 2019

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful today for meeting all the kids at the school gate this morning. The happy ones, the tired ones, the shy ones. They all make me smile. I was grateful for the opportunity to talk with Said this morning too as we haven’t had a chance to talk much yet. I was also happy and grateful to stand in front of the school assembly and make the kids laugh and have fun. I was happy and grateful to see a small smile on Puifai’s face when I helped her with some difficult work. It’s very gratifying to see the kids thinking hard and then suddenly getting it!

We got that attitude! – 12th November 2019

Slept deeply last night – for some reason the stress of standing up for myself on a small issue has made me very tired.

Yesterday was also a little frustrating as my students seem to have mostly forgotten what they did last week. Not all of them but enough to show that this will be a struggle. I do remember having a similar feeling in CRPAO soon after I started. I guess I need to adjust my expectations – teach to the top/middle – keep them interested.

I woke up tired but feel reasonably confident this morning. I only have two lessons today so can spend a lot of time preparing more lessons.

Gratitude Journal

I was so happy and grateful to watch the sunrise this morning. It came up over the mountain behind the temple spire and it was amazing. Every day the sun comes up. Long before I was here and long after I’m gone.

We got that attitude! – 6th November 2019

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to hear positive feedback from the Thai teachers about my teaching. It gives me some pride and confidence that what I’m doing is ok. I am also so happy and grateful that, so far, there is actually less work to do. Putting the lessons together is pretty straightforward so I have spare time to consider doing a little extra for the kids.

24th Mar 2021 – This school was happy to work with textbooks which made putting lessons together pretty straightforward, though for some reason they still required new lesson plans year after year – surely one of the most ridiculous ideas amongst the many deficiencies found in the government education system here. Anyway, life was a little easier for a little while

Release the whale that pulled me under – 4th November 2019

I think I successfully passed my first test. The kids seem to be ok with my style of teaching and the lessons I wrote went ok – I’m still trying to gauge the level of the main class though.

I was also uplifted enough to drop into CRPAO after school and meet some of my old students. It was heartening to know how much they like and miss me. I think I can make good connections with most kids. Let’s see where this job leads.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have the opportunity to work with Kevin from one of my favourite bands next year. It’s exciting to think I can meet and help them. I love this aspect of my life. It’s a lot of planning ahead but I look forward to doing that.

23rd March 2021 – With a couple of weeks until a tour across Malaysia, Sabah, Singapore and Java was due to start we had to cancel everything because of the Covid pandemic. I still need to get refunded for the flights as I don’t think the tour will happen within the two years the tickets are being held for us. Not quite the ‘journey is better than the destination’, more, the ‘planning was better than the reality.’

We got that attitude! – 3rd November 2019

Although I turned off my alarm this morning I managed to force myself out of bed and complete a task I’d set for myself – cutting the grass in our driveway. I’ve suffered all day with stinging blisters as a reminder!

I also managed to get a little reading in, a little light exercise, and write my first lessons for this new school – tomorrow I’ll be able to judge how successful they are and make adjustments.

I also managed to record half an episode of the Chiang Rai Alternative Hour – which I’m really enjoying making.

I’m pretty happy with the way the day has gone.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my ability to handle and accept change.

23rd Mar 2021 – This is an important understanding in my life. Each time I go through a change I will grow. I realised this most obviously when moving from England to Australia in 1994. If I hadn’t made that change I wouldn’t have grown and be where I am now. Sometimes you are in control of changes and other times you are not – but growth will come either way. Some changes may feel like mistakes but eventually, you understand that they are not.

We got that attitude! – 1st November 2019

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to meet my new students today. It’s nerve wracking and compelling. Being around kids is very fulfilling. This morning I had some regret about leaving my last class behind but got excited for meeting all these new ones. They are typically friendly and happy, naught and shy…. I am grateful to the teachers I met who were friendly enough to give me advice.


Weight: 83.2kg
Resting heart rate: 51