Tag: students

A Happy Fat Cat – 20th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This project is almost over
Say your farewells and let me go
I’m tired of these waking hours
It’s time I slept
Don’t shed tears, it’s not failure
But a circuit complete
I dream one day to be an eagle
Or a happy fat cat
But now we must let it be

You’re welcome to say a prayer
But save it for yourself
Whisper it to your own ear
And listen to that breath

Today I’m feeling:

Well enough to exercise again but I’m coughing up lots of phlegm and although my throat isn’t too sore from coughing its giving me a headache.

I’m pretty tired after my first class and could easily sleep. At least I finish at 2.30 and can get home and relax for a while.

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 8 class students slowly maturing, advancing their skills and understanding what I require of them. I’m starting to like them again, despite loving and loathing them!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing writing up two books to blog posts. Now there’s a bit of space in my bag again though there’s plenty more books to go yet.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My broken tooth is starting to get sensitive and its fricking painful to drink anything cold. My other dodgy teeth seem to also be coming out in sympathy pain too.

I go to the dentist in a couple of days but I don’t think that they will fix it there and then (unless they have a go at pulling it out, which maybe the best option in the end)

Something I learned today?

There’s a lot of volcanic activity in the world at the moment so it seems though perhaps it is just that I’m seeing more of that type of information presented to me. In the same manner it seems to be flooding everywhere that is usually a desert.

Our perceptions are so easily manipulated.

Hey, all is quiet down our street.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I tried to get over my dislike of one of my students by involving him in the class a little more and trying to be firm and consistent when he acts up.

In another class I supported a couple of the struggling readers with some one-on-one time and also tried to broker peace in a quarrel that they were having. 

Amy ordered a new shoe rack which I duly put together with little complaint even though there were other things I wanted to do.

I believe there were no vile deeds today (as per most days now).

What are some of the sources of stress in my life right now?

Not having a visa currently us a little stressful, though in the process of getting sorted out. 

The possibility of not getting paid next month is also stressful especially as I have a few things that require some extra cash, such as getting my teeth fixed again.

Beyond that things are pretty cruisy.

Me and Tulip being stupid last week.Screenshot

Voyager – 17th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This is a tiny tattoo
A minimal gift to you
Sent through space and time
To land now on your eye

This is the written proof
A document of truth
Often forced into rhyme
These words can never die

Today I’m feeling:

Much better again than yesterday but still not 100%. I’m hoping to get back to exercise next week and want to be physically capable.

Today I’m grateful for and the best thing about today was:

All the students at school who feel comfortable talking with me. It feels like more and more that students I don’t teach have heard that I’m friendly and approachable and as I’m often around the school rather than stuck in the teacher’s room I’m visible and available too.

Although many of my own students came to me today, many others that I don’t know did too. It’s also become more common for just random greetings from students passing by as well.

I know some teachers like to be seen to be in a traditional teachers’ room, friendly but somewhat aloof. I prefer to be in amongst the melee, near the action.

I don’t see any real difference between us; we are all students. I still have so much to learn and there’s no need to hide that fact from the other students around me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Last night I got the message to go to Primary at 8.30 am to start interviewing students but when I got there they wondered why I was there as no one had told them that it had changed from the afternoon. When I went back to ask Kru Mai what was happening he said that the time had changed to 9am and that he’d forgotten to tell me!

And then in the middle of all this I experienced my first earthquake! Apparently I’ve been in earthquakes a couple of times before but I never knew. This time I knew. What a strange feeling. It reminded me a little of being on a floating jetty but it being in an inappropriate place because you’re standing on land! It was very brief, probably not even five seconds but by all accounts it registered 5.9 and the epicentre wasn’t that far away, perhaps within a couple of hundred kilometres.

Of course, the whole school of kids was frightened and excited but today was a big day for the grade 9s, as they too were being interviewed for their programs for their final three years.

Many students ran to me to help, reassure and comfort them but a couple had sudden bursts of tears as they were so stressed about it. I did my best for them but my old student, Apple, couldn’t control herself and was teary all throughout her interview. It doesn’t reflect her skills and ability to study, only her emotional control in a stressful situation. I hope she can still make it.

15th Feb 2024 – Happily, Apple made into the high school English program. As she is friends with Baipad I have been trying to meet them a little each day and give them more confidence with themselves and with English.

Something I learned today?

I read, studied and listened to a lot of varying things today but two minor pieces of information come to mind because this morning I learned that it was Jet’s birthday and in the afternoon I met her in the canteen to give her some candies that I bought.

Whilst doing this Funfai suddenly appeared. She’s like a ghost sometimes, just stands waiting until you notice her. I guess she’s thinking it’s more polite to not interrupt any conversation I’m having but at the same when I see her I have to interrupt the conversation myself anyway!

She told me that she will go to Chiang Mai on Monday for a tennis competition. Good luck FF!

What is the best gift I have ever recieved?

This question has me singing Cows ‘Gift of Life’ in my head. I need to listen to more Cows again. I had a Cows phase for a long while,  back when living in Sydney and can remember clearly the environment of the apartment at the time and then when I consider this I realise that it is more than ten years ago!

I haven’t answered the question, I know. Maybe I will if I revisit this entry later.

No pictures today. This one is from a couple of weeks ago when I was up on garage roof.

Data Point – 16th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Oh homeless man, the new waiter
The undercover friend, the infiltrator
TV celebrity, the idol musician
The data points inform the position

Oh trendy barista, petulant child
Enraged protestor, a traveller wild
The service staff, the queuers waiting
The data points accumulating

Oh gentle find, words so kind
A bus conductor helping the blind
Kissing the ugliest and prettiest face
The data points fall into place

Oh fighting man, the bruise creator
The best, and worst – lover, hater
The times recalled of instant regret
The data points are all being set

Oh husbands, wives, fathers and mothers
Every conversation where meeting others
Their influence felt without fail
The data points tell their tale

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty rough in the morning but I knew as the day went on I would improve. My cough has gotten worse but the sore throat is almost gone.

After my only class in the morning, which went well enough considering, I’ve been running around getting documents copied, printed and pictures taken.

By the time I got home I was tired but not sleepy and if I had slept it would have been long and deep and then I wouldn’t sleep tonight. But that has left me a little deflated and unenthused.

I played guitar for a little while before stopping feeling a bit frustrated. Some days don’t feel right and I can accept that much better these days.

Today I’m grateful for:

The immigration officer who was sympathetic to my situation though unable to do anything to help. He was kind and friendly.

I’m also grateful to TLC to put together all my paperwork for my visa and dealing with immigration for me this time.

The best thing about today was:

The feeling of things getting done and finished by mid-afternoon, even though it’s not really completed yet. It was just satisfying that after the running around everyone said ‘ok, done’. Now wait for the next bit of running around.

Maybe I still have to do a border run to get another 30 days extension if this visa application through TLC isn’t ready in time but even that could at least be an interesting day out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A little frustratingly in my class this morning many students were having trouble recording audio on their phones due to permission settings.

I’m getting better at figuring out how to change their phones’ language setting to English so I can then figure out how to fix the app permissions. In the course of doing this on one girls phone though I found she had about 60 porn website pages open.

I wasn’t particularly bothered about the content just that there were so many pages open possibly draining her battery and taking up bandwidth so I started closing them. When she saw that I could see these pages she wanted to grab her phone but I told her not to worry, that it wasn’t important right then and I eventually fixed her settings for her. 

When I got home I sent her a message to clean up her phone just in case another teacher or her family members might see.

I also told her that I understood that all the kids her age are curious about these things but wanted her to understand that pornography doesn’t represent what sex is really like and that it is acting.

I sent her a translated version so she could more easily understand and she soon replied, though just with a simple ‘ok’ so I’m not sure exactly how she might be feeling.

Sometimes when I see my 13-year-old female students I’m reminded about the book I read years ago about a poor Thai girl who sold her virginity at that age to an old white guy. It was sure a depressing story and I can’t imagine the desire that drives people to seek out youngsters in that way. 

Yes, they are cute, curious, sexy and everything else but actually having sex…? It doesn’t make sense to me.

Something I learned today?

I learned that I have to go and interview the primary students in the morning tomorrow instead of the afternoon as originally planned. Who knows, it might still change again in the morning….

What is something positive happening in my life right now?

My attitude. Considering I’m stuffing around with visas yet again, maybe working without pay, dealing with naughty children constantly and many other little niggles that could accumulate to get me down I’m still surprisingly upbeat and positive.

I took this picture because Pat turned up late to my class the other day with her hair like this and I found it quite amazing. I think another couple of girls who were late had helped her. Well done, good job! I still marked them all late in the attendance system though.
Fatman report

Noticing The Nuance – 13th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Humbled and heartbroken
Fallen to a knee
Eyes wide open
How could they not be?

Shocked into submission
Suddenly set free
No longer distracted
And starting to see

Hours once dedicated
To you from me
Were blinders to the bronco
From forest to tree

Stars return to brightness
From a distant memory
Noticing the nuance
Analysed by degree

The chaos of our lives
I’m sure we all agree
Turn our attentions
Into nothing but debris

16th May 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Humility

Today I’m feeling:

Run down and sick. I slept through most of yesterday and last night and feel like sleeping more. My sore throat has transformed to a sexy voice as my nose starts running causing me to cough and hack up phlegm. To top it all, I forced myself to eat this morning and more of my busted booth came loose. Really have to get back to the dentist soon. Needless to say, I’m not at school. I should go to the hospital but not looking forward to sitting around for a couple of hours just to get prescribed medicine I can get at the pharmacy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff at the hospital that made everything relatively smooth and pain-free. Just a bit of waiting around. A bunch of meds were prescribed all for 200 baht, about 8 Aussie bucks. I don’t not know how much the meds had to do with it but I started feeling a little better after getting back from the hospital.

The best thing about today was:

Still working a little with my students in the afternoon while waiting at the hospital. The work I give to my grade 8s is simple and repetitive just with a different text each week so I don’t actually need to even be there with them. Still, about ten students skipped doing anything, which is a shame.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I went out to Utopia and grabbed coffee but the bike wouldn’t start after and I had to wheel it down the road in the scorching heat, adding to my already-addled brain. After the guy in the shop got it running again I decided just to buy some medicine and go home and rest. Amy came back an hour or so later and berated me for not going to the hospital so here I am, already told it’s at least a one-hour wait. I’m handling it by sniffing, coughing and wondering if I’ll even be well enough to go to school tomorrow.

Something I learned today?

Thailand is introducing a Clean Air Act but has no real solutions to stop the yearly burning by farmers. Just ideas and suggestions. There is support online behind a 28-year-old doctor who is about to die from lung cancer but I can’t imagine anyone in government is going to do anything seriously to stop this annual event that is due to be worse and for longer this year.

What new hobby would I like to try?

It’s not new I guess but I really need to get on and make some music with the equipment I have. The problem is that I would have to drop some of the other things that I already like doing with my time.

No new pictures today so this is from last week. Kam, Amy and Praewa tiktokking for me.

Said And Done – 9th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I’ve no comment on what I remember
The past is done and gone
I don’t understand where I am now
It’s not where I belong

And everything that was said
Never made a difference anyway
But at least I felt better
That I had something to say

A thousand slogans were chanted
Marching fists into the air rose
When everything was said and done
Still here the jungle grows

Today I’m feeling:

Happy after a positive day yesterday. With no classes again this morning I could just enjoy the first couple of hours of the Open House entertainment and all the stalls and I actually thought it was good and well done. I realise that I have changed my thoughts and feelings about some things and can see them in a more positive light.

Today I’m grateful for:

My old favourite student Cake, who is now in grade 9 and studying science to become a doctor in the future. She was a favoured student because she always had a positive attitude. She was already reading heavy science books when she was in grade 6.

Today she was managing a booth for her science program and I asked her to tell me all about it. At first, she was worried because she said her English was not as good as it used to be but after a brief consideration she said ‘Ok, let me try!’ and she did, very well.

The booth has the same things every year and I recognised it all from before but I let her do the spiel,  including about different teas and their properties after I asked which was good for a headache. She told me and gave me a free teabag to try, which I will sometime when I remember to bring it in from the car.

The best thing about today was:

Only having to be around for a couple of hours this morning and not teaching. Again the kids were all in a great mood and there was a good vibe among everyone. I was tempted to stay longer because I was having such a good time but Amy and I went off to buy a fridge and a fan and we now have a drinks fridge and bar area in the dining room.

Amy is happily making the house into the way she wants to make her feel comfortable. Things are good now but how will they be when the burning starts again and things start to annoy and upset her more. I’m still hopeful she can fill her time with things to take her mind off it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Not a big surprise but I’d been waiting to be paid by TLC and sent a message to my boss who replied that she forgot to tell me that the school deducted my payment as I missed some days last month for my travel. I doubt that very much but like I said it’s not a big surprise really.

Something I learned today?

Today was Kru Jern’s 33rd birthday and after finding out I quickly ran to the cafe to buy a piece of cake for her.

Write about a song that always comforts and understands you.

Most of the songs stuck in my memory were not through comfort and understanding but through depression and perceived adversity. I distinctly remember playing the shit out of the Descendents ‘All’ album and The Dicks ‘These People’ album when trying to deal with the trauma of my first dumping. In a weird way they were my comfort.

There’s many songs that give me goosebumps and maybe Volcano Suns Room With A View understands me. ‘All I want is a second or two to collect my thoughts about you…I sit for hours on end, for hours on end…’

Kru Jern took this picture because Kru Ren and I are both playing dress up here. He is a video game character that I’ve never heard of and I am dressed up as a teacher.

Influence – 8th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Shoving in doughnuts
Pooping out rocks
Here lies the slovenly
Unable to put on socks

Ten gallons of soda
Living life liver-free
Stuck on the sofa
In front of the TV

Making friends with strangers
Fat thumbs on the phone
Influencing the influencers
Relatively unknown

Shopping in comfort
From the living room
Like a faulty product
Due to expire soon

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but improved in general. I could’ve slept more but got going with exercise and breakfast. My morning class I decided to cancel as students are preparing for an Open House event over the coming two days. Not what I had planned but I’m much more accepting and able to adapt more easily these days. I quickly planned a separate lesson for my afternoon class that they could easily do in the canteen and it went well compared to yesterday and everyone seemed to enjoy it, perhaps because it mostly involved drawing rather than writing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to find the nozzle for the high-pressure hose that I borrowed from Bruno on Lazada. It arrived today and now the hose works incredibly well, even cutting through the concrete if set too fine!

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying having fun with students all day long even as they were preparing things, studying, learning, chatting or playing. Everyone was in a good mood it seemed.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The whole day at school was out of control as kids were busy everywhere doing things and making a mess. In classrooms, in hallways, in the canteen, library and playground. I went with it and had a great time. I met some of my grade 8 students in the canteen whilst I was taking care of the grade 7 class there in the afternoon and they told me that Teacher David was sad. I’m not quite sure what they meant but I can imagine that he is a bit frustrated with not being able to teach in the way that he’s used to.

Something I learned today?

Kru Fluke is leaving our team to go and take her turn working up in the mountains. It’s a shame as she is one of the teachers who actually makes an effort to engage despite having poor English herself.

How do I usually handle my emotions and feelings?

In some ways, I have managed to suppress strong emotions much of the time so that I am able to deal with events more reflectively. I am still afraid that I could overreact at some point. I don’t repress my emotions or feelings but let them play out with less stress and anxiety. In general, I have fewer cares and fewer worries. I guess I always had fewer cares and worries but exaggerated their importance before.

I took this picture because I walked around the corner to find my old class of students sitting here like this. They were waiting for a teacher to give them some items to help make decorations for tomorrow. They weren’t particularly enthused to do this but were excited not to be studying!

8th Feb 2024 – These kids are grade 9 – mostly 14-15 years old. Can I remember their names? I only taught them for one semester and that was last year now.
?, Piano, August (the dancing, singing…), Art (I taught him occasionally in Primary), Fill (whom I taught in Primary), Chompoo (likewise occasionally taught in Primary), Stang, Phoom, NongNong (formerly Sunwa), Pat, Gear, Levi, Beena, Proud, Mangkron (who wants to be a farmer), Nice (taught in Primary), Leo, (? – this kid rarely came to class), Pon, Chokun (taught in Primary), Baitoey, (? – I should know her name as I talk with her almost every morning) and Earn. Missing are Yok, Ice and another boy whom I can picture but can’t name!

I Was A Ghost, But I Was Real – 7th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 15 Comments

When I was a ghost, my eyes were never met
Unknown, unspoken, unseen, unheard
There I stood, three monkies wiser
Until hearing the whisper of the magic word

A name on a page, a name in lights
Is that me, is this real?
Does a grain of sand on life’s beach
Really understand what the ocean might feel?

You can see me and I can feel you
Alone but never lonely, loneliness lost
Spaces filled with words and chatter
To balance it all comes at a cost

Tides are changing, shores are filling
Days and nights are both illuminating
The stories brought here remind me
Of the sandcastles we’re all creating

Inspired, borrowed, and butchered from this post at Spinning Visions (yet again!)

13th Jun 2024 – Shared with dVerse – liminal
31st Oct 2024 – Shared with What’s Going On – ghosts

Today I’m feeling:

Better than yesterday though still not quite awake, I feel. I had fun with all the kids at the flag ceremony this morning but need this first coffee for my first class.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the people who handled the parcel of records that got delivered safe and sound to me today from Turkey. 

The best thing about today was:

Spending time and effort with one one-on-one reading with my grade 8 students. Both yesterday and today’s classes are a challenge and I think it is beneficial to spend even just five minutes one one-on-one as often as possible. I can only do this with about 6 or 7 students per one two-hour class though.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My final class of grade 7s was disrupted somewhat as one student told me that a few of them were supposed to go for football practice. I told them that they could go when they finished their work but unfortunately they struggled with the work and then as it rolled past the time they asked to leave they struggled with their attitude. Many students ended up 20 minutes late for their vans as I wouldn’t let them go unless they at least attempted the work.

The kids don’t know how to help themselves and the other classmates that understand are reluctant to help now as their kindness has worn thin. The students that slacked last semester will struggle this semester as I ask them to think more about their own ideas, beliefs and feelings. Things that they can’t ask the answers from other students.

I managed to remain mostly patient throughout all this. Mostly.

Something I learned today?

I just realised that the candy I’m eating right now have little tidbits of information on them and so I just learned that crocodiles can’t stick their tongues out. Fairly useless information for 99.5% of people on Earth but there we are. I learned that today.

If I could change one thing about my life, what would it be?

I can imagine that this would be something ridiculous like not having to sleep or being able to party without hangovers! Or not die until I’m ready!

Or that I still had youthful boundless energy.

If I could change one thing about my life I would have done it already.

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

It seems that I am always the one closest to the door so that if anyone ever breaks in to try and kill us they will go for me first. I don’t know if this is a subliminal thing on Amy’s behalf or why that makes her comfortable but it doesn’t bother me. I can sleep on any side of any bed so long as it is comfortable.

Right now we each sleep in the middle of our own King-sized beds which is both ridiculous and amazing.

I took this picture because this old boy was waiting for me to finish exercising so he could eat. Tigger wasn’t far away either. I didn’t feed them as Amy wants to do it ‘her way’ which I know is just to get their affections! I noticed that by this evening both cats are no longer looking at me with expectation but at Amy instead!

Getting Out – 6th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The world is trapped behind glass
A zoo of drunken circus chimps
We look up to others to ask
Just what is this wonder we may only glimpse?

Maybe this spectacle isn’t real?
How can something be so shiny and pretty?
When the glass shatters we feel
That the chimps are less deserving of pity

Running amok, all over our dreams
The promises now grown more distant
Nothing now is what it seems
And that nagging becomes more insistent

Inspired by the second part of this post at Spinning Visions
11th Oct 2024 – Shared with the Ragtag Daily Prompt – zoo

Today I’m feeling:

Still dizzy. Even dizzy during my poor sleep last night as my body aches made me uncomfortable. Wondering how serious this might be. But I still pushed through morning exercise hoping that that may get me going. Not quite. Will see how I fair today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai bringing me a food gift. Unfortunately it was pork so I had to return it though I made sure she knew I was grateful. 

The best thing about today was:

Finally feeling better by the afternoon after sinking a cup of water with electrolytes. I’m not 100% yet but at least I don’t feel as if I might fall over now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My first class this morning was a bit of a test for me and I almost lost it but I think the kids sensed it and were unusually quiet for a little while which softened me a little. I also recalled a daily reminder I have set – “Be grateful for what you have, for it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment.”

Something I learned today?

Some musicians I have worked with in Germany before are rushing to release a compilation to benefit women struggling through the war in Gaza. There are only four days to submit and I don’t think anyone I know would be able to commit to that. But in an effort to be useful, I passed the message on to the current folks I’ve been working with on the Jorando Del Muerto release.

Who is the wisest person I know?

I keep seeing this prompt and thinking it says who is the worst person you know!

The wisest….?

Even people I admire I don’t consider all-wise, all-knowing. Everyone has their foibles. And everyone has some wisdom. Take the best from people so that you can learn. Try everything until you figure it out for yourself.

How am I different than I was a year ago?

Change seems slow until you look back from further in the future. I don’t feel as if I’ve changed much at all in the last twelve months. I can see very minor improvements when I look back at diary entries and think to myself ‘Oh yeah, I remember doing that’ and then making decisions about where to go from there.

Answering this question for five or ten years ago would be much easier to analyse.

How am I stepping outside my comfort zone?

I’m not doing this too much these days but I can think that forcing myself to exercise is outside my comfort zone even though I’ve been doing it regularly for a couple of years now. I’ve been taking cold showers since about March and still going at the moment, testing myself to see how far I can make it into winter. I will go and play tennis with Funfai once a week, just for thirty minutes, despite my aching old bones. I’m still not often comfortable in the classroom either. I’m still learning everything.

Photographs – 1st November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

No longer memories in a desert
That night of drunken play
Lost to the pictured word
That claims all that happened that day

Today I’m feeling:

Anxious and excited as classroom days resume. The fun, the fighting, the lessons we all learn.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding two useful textbooks in the teacher’s room which I immediately turned one part of the text into a lesson that I used for the grade 7 class. I figured it would be pretty easy revision and just take an hour but they managed to stretch it to two with lots of faffing around.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast about the Volcano Suns album ‘Thing of Beauty’ on the way home from work and then in the evening playing guitar along to a couple of tunes from it. Love that band.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A couple of my grade 7 students were a little temperamental in my class this afternoon and tested my patience a lot. It’s early days as we all get used to each other again and instead of getting too bothered, I tried to find other solutions to get them back in line.

Something I learned today?

I read about the China-Laos rail line that crosses the border in Laos at a place called Botan. The crossing in 1993 was little more than a single iron bar gate but now lots of investment has grown the city rapidly. Despite the economic slowdown and the pandemic’s effect on travel, Laotians are hoping that this is a springboard to a better future.

List three goals for this month.

Renew my tourist visa. This is a must!

Get back to the exercise routine I had before the holiday.

Get back to around 80kg again, whilst improving my fitness.

Nam took this picture because the class insisted on a photo with everyone showing off the koala souvenirs I gifted to them.

The Ian Jury – 13th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A complete genius or total wanker
There’s no in-between
A diamond geezer or a tosspot
If you know what I mean?

Of course, it was a waste
For those with good taste
Lost in old England’s dream
When the rhythm stick hit
Championing the Brit
Inspired by old sweet Gene
A London vicar
A treat or tricker
And occasionally obscene
With panties and boots
From Edwardian roots
Cloaked in a music hall theme

inspired by Will Burch’s Ian Dury biography

Today I’m feeling:

(1.30 am) I’m still awake again. I’m super tired but just can’t get to sleep.

(9 am) I reckon I got to sleep at around 3.30 after trying various different places around the house. It was so frustrating. My 8am alarm shook me awake and I did 100 star jumps to try and actually wake up. On the bus and in the city waiting to see Hayden.

(11.15 am) I’m starting to flag. Hayden’s flight was delayed an hour and I’m desperately trying to keep my eyes open.

Today I’m grateful for:

Ray Ahn at Utopia Records and Nic at Repressed Records for giving me information and updates on what’s happening around Sydney these days. I’m glad they still remembered me!

The best thing about today was:

Catching up with Hayden and his news and cruising around town in and out of various shops. Another day of more than ten thousand steps.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My brain was a little out of control there for a while as I got dizzy looking at all the books in Kinokunya.

Something I learned today?

Ray Ahn recommended three bands to me; fortuitously, one of them will play the show on Sunday.

What brings me the most fulfilment?

Teaching for sure. Since returning to Sydney for these few days I’m realising how much my life has changed since leaving Australia. My eyes opened to new ideas and pace of life. Whereas I may have found fulfilment with music before, organising and working with artists; that feels like a different life. That’s ok. It’s better not to just be stuck in one thing forever. I’ve worn many hats and maybe I’ll still have a chance to wear more.

Who has influenced my life in a profound way?

All the special women in my life. My mom, Emma, Cherry, Bronwyn, TLJ, Echo, Lorraine, Kyoko, Chise and Amy. Small parts and big, all these people I have loved and got me where I am right now, attending a wedding overlooking the beautiful waters of Sydney. It’s been an up-and-down journey that I’m proud to have travelled.  Let’s keep going. Now the special women in my life are my students who I hope I can inspire to realise their dreams.

Hayden took this picture because we haven’t seen each other for four years and we’re both happy and healthy these days.