Tag: students

Are You Happy Now? – 6th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Back in the good old days
Of feeling miserable and sad
Never could consider the ways
To stop from feeling bad

Depression in the dark room stays
Endlessly elevating the mad
Safely hidden away from praise
Scribbling it all out on a pad

The written word rarely pays
But surely makes one glad
No matter what anyone else says
Those were the times that were had

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Awake and alive despite only about six hours of sleep. Also feeling a little fragile and on edge but don’t know why. I feel like if something doesn’t go to plan I could easily lose the plot.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai for inviting me to play tennis which we finally got to do today. I made it through about 30 minutes and she had already been playing for an hour before that! It was only 9.30 am but over 30 degrees and no shade. I haven’t played for more than twenty years so everything was pretty stiff. My brain knew what it wanted my body to do but my body wasn’t always capable. I was dizzy after sitting down, drenched in sweat and super stinky as my shirt was one of those that hadn’t dried properly in the sun last week. And although my body feels used up I think it is happy to have been used. I want to go again!

The best thing about today was:

Finding out that Carsick Cars will play in Sydney whilst I’m there! I saw they will play with Garry David, so hit up Bob Blunt to get more info. Amy already has me busy with lunch and dinner appointments on the day they play but Bob advised that they added an afternoon matinee show which I should be able to squeeze in – no problem! Cool bananas! He also told me Julian Wu is the tour organiser so I messaged him too and he’s prepaid a ticket for me and it will be awesome to catch up with everyone again. What a trip!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a message overnight from an M3 student, Pon, who I taught last year saying he was hoping to join the English Program next year but his grades weren’t up to scratch. I had rarely interacted with him and he was always quiet in class though he usually did my work. His low grade was when Dylan was teaching him and I’m not sure why he decided to message me to say he was devastated. I’m understanding but not exactly sympathetic. His grade was in his own hands and now he’s reaping the results of his lack of attention at the time. ‘Don’t care was made to care’ as I was often told as a child! Students are not taught how their decisions and actions affect their futures.

I read an article today about the negative effects of phone use and social media on children and how it affects the mental health of the undeveloped brain. It’s common sense to me that kids shouldn’t have phones in class! Even though I have tried to have them utilise their phones for study they often switch in and out to other apps which I know is detrimental to learning and memory.

I also received a message from my M2 student Alew, asking about scholarships. I don’t know how you go about applying for those but I’m glad he’s asking the question. I pointed him to Champ who may be able to give him some advice.

Something I learned today?

I saw that in China you can order your taxi by phone and if you are not sure where it might be, like at an airport for example, you can shake your phone and it will trigger the hazard lights on the car. And once in the taxi, you can control the aircon from your phone too.

What motivates me to do my best?

If I am invested in something I will do my best. Sometimes if I’m not invested I will also try to do my best but be less bothered about the result. 

I am always trying my best at school to entertain and teach my classes. I put a lot of effort and energy into that and I’m personally motivated by that. I care about the results for the students and not for the results as seen by the school, which is why I disagree strongly with their grading policy.

Funfai took this picture because I asked her to. I wanted to see how I looked after running around in the sun for thirty minutes!

Red Wine – 4th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Though I am
I used to be
Never felt strange
But do agree

a simple man
a different me
accepting change
that I must be

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but happy and positive. I got another couple of lessons completed this morning and happy with how they turned out. I’d hoped to get to Daytripper to do more but after a quick shop, I got home all sweaty and jumped into the shower and didn’t feel like putting clothes on to venture outside again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lack of traffic in the morning meant I didn’t need to rush too much to clock in at school.

The best thing about today was:

See the attached picture.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I gave in to nap time though I think it was only for about forty minutes. I listened to the Jazzcore podcast so it was a pretty wild aural assault into my dreams. I woke up drooling.

Something I learned today?

Funfai messaged me to say she saw me at school this morning and when I asked her why she was there she said she was playing tennis again. She said she will go again on Friday so I will pack some clothes and perhaps have a chance to have a hit with her too.

What are my top priorities for the day?

Now I’m at the end of the day but I know the main priority was having organised to meet my old students and treat them to lunch. As they were also Bruno’s old students I thought it would be a nice surprise for all of them to catch up. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be difficult for the kids and if they would flake out but they made it and also in good time.

Quote: Humility cannot exist without love, and love cannot exist without humility – Saint Theresa of Avila

I always subscribed to the notion that you must love yourself before you can let be anyone else (though it took me about 40 years to actually put it into practice). Once you’ve understood how to love yourself you learn to put others first and you no longer need to seek their approval or play any kind of game with them. You can be humble before them.

Nut took this picture because I had planned a surprise for Bruno and our old students, Porpieng, Momo and Baitong to catch up together today. It’s been six months since I saw Popo and BT as they switched schools and I rarely see Momo as she switched to the Japanese program. For Bruno, he hasn’t seen them for more than five years! I’d tried organising them meeting a few times before but it never worked out. I think everyone was happily surprised to see each other again.

Flaming Sword – 2nd October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

She didn’t ask to join this club
The grief is so big, even shared
Suffering in silence, or out loud
It’s a struggle that no one is spared

And when a life is taken away
Leaving the living seems so unkind
To wonder, in search of meaning
When tragedy is all she can find

How to lay open the world to truth?
Will her fierce soul light the flame?
A sword to strike out resilient
And to change the world yet again

inspired by The Red Hand Files #254
3rd Jul 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. I persevered with morning exercise despite this being a week with no classes and I could easily have decided to have a break. But I pushed through. It was weird to be at school again with no students around. It’s amazing to think that these thousands of kids are all out there somewhere doing things and during the term they all gather together in this one place.

Today I’m grateful for:

The folks at MFU hospital today. I had to go and get more medicine and have waited four months beyond my scheduled appointment because the timing has not been good with me having to be at school when the doctor is there.
Somehow I managed to breeze straight in despite a roomful of patients(presumably they were waiting for other doctors). Then I decided I was waiting too long to pick up the medicine so went off to Daytripper to get some lesson planning done and on return to hospital I was able to breeze in again, collect my meds and go. Easy.

The best thing about today was:

Getting into the swing of lesson planning again. I only did one today but can feel more brewing! I just need to focus.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Totally ran out of energy around 7 pm, perhaps enhanced by a drop too much cannabutter. Sleeping early tonight…

Something I learned today?

Matt sent me a cool video of a band called Hariguem Zaboy. The song had some great off-kilter post-punk guitar and a bouncy rhythm that reminded me of some Japanese bands.

What is my favourite thing about this month?

October? The only regular thing about this month is my birthday which doesn’t carry much significance for me anymore.

This is holiday time in Thailand which is nice but last year we had a 4-week break and this time apparently it’s just 5 days (though I’ll be taking longer with my trip to Australia). Planning things here can be difficult and it sort of contributes to the chill chill attitude and just going with the flow. In some ways, it’s a child-like approach to life which can be exciting but I’ve long grown out of it so sometimes it grates.

October is also the end of the rainy season and the cool of winter approaching is a great relief.

No Thieves – 30th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When the things you own
Start to own you
It’s time to head to the river
And watch it all float away
Say goodbye to safety
Burn everything that belongs
No thieves can come to spoil
To steal away the heart
When the wind blows away the nest
Or the wolves knock down
All the walls you thought you owned
You see the splendour in new bricks

inspired by the line from Fight Club ‘The things you used to own, now they own you’

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and tired. I enjoyed a sleep-in and feel like I may not make it through the day without a nap but I also feel like my body is recovering faster each Saturday now. I’m grateful for the rest day though more thoughts are coming now about doing exercise because I know more about the benefits through experience. I’m still not quite ready and the holiday will surely set me back but I think it will come one day.

Today I’m grateful for:

My last weed gummy that I bought months ago. I heard that the government has banned weed again though I don’t know how well it will be enforced. All the folks who have invested in it surely won’t switch to another product for a while so I’m guessing it will still be available. While I sometimes like the effects of ingesting weed I’m less bothered about it these days. 

The best thing about today was:

I caved to the nap and it was great! Almost three hours.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I got back from Utopia, the sun was poking out so I decided to stick the washing on and hope for the best with the weather. As I hopped into bed for a nap the pitter-patter of raindrops could be heard hitting the tin roof outside. It wasn’t enough to stir me though and a couple of minutes later it had become a deluge and I handled it by falling asleep dreamily to calming sounds.

Something I learned today?

Art will go for a walk up to the Hill Tribe village past the Nang Lae waterfall tomorrow at 6.30 a.m. He invited me, which I’m grateful for, but I prefer to catch up on relaxing the weekend away after my 6 a.m. weekday starts.

What were the highlights of this past month?

I always find these questions difficult because I’m not really seeking highlights but consistent contentment and so if I think back over this month it has been steadily positive and happy. 

My various interactions with my students are foremost in my enjoyment but they come thick and easy during the work days.

I took this picture because I still didn’t take any pictures today and decided on these two ducks found in a second-hand store, with the awesome picture I got made for Amy behind them.

The Beautiful People – 29th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Heads may turn in Soho streets
At soirees at the Ritz
And so this scene oft repeats
Amongst the glamour and the glitz

Here are seen the painted faces
And the finest flowing dresses
But the real beautiful people
Are down playing in their messes

The artists and bohemian types
The dustbin men, already sleeping
Absent of any media hypes
Content in the company they’re keeping

The farmers covered in mud and shit
The real diamonds under dusty feet
Pearly smiles gleam as they exit the pit
Just enough energy left to eat

All the beautiful people go unseen
Away from the cameras clicking
This is how it has always been
Since the time that kings came tricking

Let’s celebrate their grime and sweat
Grateful for the time they’re giving
Don’t let the glamour rats forget
Why they enjoy the way they’re living

21st Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – Colourful Streets

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and a little sad. Most of my relationships now have been formed around my students and I know that I will miss them during the holidays. Some students feel the same, not necessarily about me but about not being able to meet their friends often. But it is also great to have a break from it all too and I’m starting to look forward to going to Australia.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Gam for putting a frangipani behind my ear, giving me a hug and saying she will miss me in the holiday. I have appreciated her efforts to improve her English this semester and she has appreciated the time I spent to help her.

The best thing about today was:

Little Nicha wrote a very sweet message for me in the Quizizz I gave her class today. Along the lines of ‘Thank you to help me learn more when I am struggling and for comforting me when I was sad.’  I’m tearing up a little just writing it! 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had psyched myself up to stay at school and play a little tennis with Funfai before her coaching but it had rained a lot during the afternoon and I wasn’t sure if she would still go. She said she wanted to and the rain had cleared so I waited around playing volleyball with a bunch of other kids. But then more rain came and I gave up and we agreed to try again next semester when there will be less rain. 

So, it was annoying that I stayed around when I could’ve gone home quicker but I still enjoyed the time hanging out with different students.

Something I learned today?

Last night I was following up on the drama at school with Feije and asked Nong Fah what was the story. She told me a little and it was a totally new story to the one from the day before! 

When I asked Fah what she thought about the events she said she didn’t know, much like when I asked her before what was up with Feije recently. I then realised that she was being typically Thai-style diplomatic and didn’t want to say anything bad about someone else. 

I found this kind of endearing but also frustrating in that it’s difficult to know how people really feel about things in Thai culture.

Either way, it was an interesting learning experience for me to see how some cultural norms are here through the lens of my students.

Also in relation to yesterday, the student having trouble with his friends messaged me saying he stopped being friends with them because they were punching him. I told him that friends don’t do that and that he can tell me if they keep bullying him. He said that it was okay because he didn’t want to cause any trouble. I told him that I understood but that I was there if he needed me. 

I thought that this was a kind of Thai attitude but now I’m writing more I guess this is how many kids deal with being bullied anywhere in the world.

What changes did I experience this past month?

This feels a little difficult to contemplate these days. Things are changing a lot more slowly than previously and are less noticeable.  I guess that as it’s gotten to the end of September I’m starting to feel a little excitement about going to Australia, as I will leave in ten days time.

Also as the month has gone on and the holiday approached, I’ve felt a gradual winding down and relaxation in the classroom.

I took this picture because I have no new pictures today so scouted around the house for something interesting. These cats are part of a set of 5. The picture behind is from a long time back as I was still dying my hair black then. I think it’s from a trip to somewhere in Thailand.

Microcosms – 26th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The real world is under my nails
And all tangled up in my hair
Pointing its finger at all my fails
And to the successes that I compare

Flocking to spaces our clan created
That manic sparkle in our eyes
All the struggle adequately compensated
With the restocking of new supplies

As the world spins us closer to dying
Start thinking highs instead of lows
The microcosms in which we’re trying
Are the real world that I chose

inspired and choice words borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive. I’ve been waking up a little before my alarm more often recently almost as if my body is looking forward to the day. That’s a good feeling.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student Tee, who helped fix other students’ access to use their camera and microphone on their phones so that they could complete the Quiz I asked them to do. Most of the kids’ phones are in Thai so it was difficult for me to help but once I saw he fixed it himself on his phone I recruited him to show others in the class too.

The best thing about today was:

I’m struggling to find a specific thing as the whole day was just pretty damn great!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The three annoying boys in my first class today were better than usual but their bravado upsets me. They think that they are great because they finish quickly but then get upset when I have to tell them they got something wrong and to try again. Today they complied fairly well and showed me a little more respect than normal but after the class was finished found all their empty water bottles scattered over the floor. As I was in a reasonably cheerful mood I cleaned up after them but not before taking a photo and sending it to their homeroom teacher.

A few minutes later I was talking to students in another classroom and the boys turned up trying to get my attention and then dramatically apologising. Though I wasn’t that bothered I felt like they lacked sincerity and pretended to be upset and ignored them and brushed them away. I don’t know if they will learn from this or not.

Something I learned today?

I learned today that it is difficult to teach my students to be specific when answering this very question. They confuse doing with learning, saying things like ‘I learned English ’and I had to tell them to be more specific. Even then when they said they studied modal verbs I asked them about that and they couldn’t really say what they learned. I also had to help them understand that they did not just learn things in school but they are learning from each other all the time. For a ‘thinking school’ sometimes it is difficult to get them to actually do that!

How did I put my words into action?

Last week I found out that Funfai plays tennis every day after school for two hours. She asked me if I would come and play with her. 

She’s not my student but we remember each other from four years ago in Primary. She was always friendly and curious and wanted to talk. Now when she sees me around school she comes and stands nearby until I see her. She’s too polite to come and interrupt me, especially if I’m talking to other students. 

I’m not sure why she likes me or wants me to play tennis with her.

Anyway, I told her I’d try and come and watch her after school one day, knowing that usually I can’t wait to get home and relax but committing to it made me feel like I shouldn’t let her down, even though she is so respectful that she wouldn’t be bothered. 

Going to school this morning with my mind set to do this today, I figured that my last class would finish a little early and I could go and get some food in the city for dinner first. 

A small delicious vegan plate at Oasis quelled my hunger and I got to the tennis courts on time and I chatted with Funfai for a few minutes before her coach arrived.

Incidentally one of the other coaches there recognised me from teaching at Anuban a few years ago though I didn’t remember him. He was a teacher there but quit to do coaching.

Funfai and I both felt happy that I had kept my word to come and watch her and she immediately asked me again to play. I had no sports clothes with me but thought about it a little and decided I could easily do it on Friday for 30 minutes before her training starts. 

I pinky-promised her though again she said that it was ok if I changed my mind. 

I want to prove to myself that I do put my words into action in this way.

How does my body feel right now?

Healthy and fitter. I still have a slight lower back ache, probably from too much lying down at the weekends and my left big toe doesn’t seem to be getting any better but is bearable. The various aching muscles from working out and all improving every day with faster recovery times. I’m keen to keep my exercise routine going as it also aids my mental health.

I took this picture because I wanted to send it to Funfai after watching her play. I was a little far away to get good shots but I liked this one.

Like A Good Indie Kid – 25th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I wonder what the nineties were like
Listening to Radiohead, Oasis and Blur
Before technologies stole all the time away
And endless scrolling would not occur

I wonder what the eighties were like
When heavy metal was at its height
Emo was still scribbles in teenage diaries
And grunge was preparing to take flight

I wonder what the seventies were like
With spiky hair fighting patchouli oils
A changing of the guard was in motion
And knives were out for the spoils

The turning of Kerouac, Tolstoy or Woolf
Found good indie kids expanding their minds
Without the shots of adrenaline
This type of adventure usually finds

So today, in all the libraries sat
Good indie kids write their poetry and prose
Listening to the music of their forebears
Searching for the truth and where it goes

Inspired by a phrase in this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Better than expected. Yesterday my energy kept increasing after the slow stumbling start and I didn’t feel like a nap and was expecting to be tired at bedtime but instead still felt awake and enjoyed watching TV and reading. Before midnight I turned out the light but struggled to slow my mind down before finally falling asleep for what must have been less than six hours rest, and even then waking up a little before my alarm went off. I talked myself into exercise, something which is becoming easier each day (each working day at least) and still appreciative and inspired by the slowly changing form I see in the mirror.

Today I’m grateful for:

Meeting Fah and Gafile who are my old students and in grade 10 now. They told me they were worried about an English exam that they had today. As I was doing my own Thai language study tonight I remembered about their exams and sent them a message to see how they did. They didn’t do so well so they know that they need to improve. I’m grateful that they are still always happy to see me and despite struggling in my classes too, they wish that I was still teaching them.

The best thing about today was:

Seeing Amy’s dad looking good after his operation. He was in pain but was fairly cheerful and already able to walk himself to the bathroom. His doctor is hoping that from what they saw during the operation that he won’t need any chemo. He should know by Friday.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My one class today were in a playful mood and I let them loose a little, though still asking them to answer a few questions which made them think. I plan to ask them the same questions in each class this week and hope to see some improvement in their thinking during that time. But I’m also not taking it too seriously either.

Something I learned today?

Through asking my students what they learned today they told me that in their science class, they learned about India sending a spacecraft to the moon. Chandrayaan-3 was the first successful landing at the lunar south pole.

I like that students learned about this and maybe don’t know so much about previous achievements by the USA and USSR. It reminds me that the stories children are presented with deeply affect their thoughts about the world.

What is within my control right now?

Whether I should let Cap in the door or not. Whether I should turn the aircon down and go to the kitchen to get a soda water. When I eat and what time I go to bed. Whether I play guitar or watch TV or both. To decide if I have written enough here. Whether I’m tired and happy or tired and grumpy.

Many day-to-day minor events are within my control. Almost anything else is outside my control.

I took this picture because whilst visiting Amy’s dad in the hospital I took advantage of being in one of the tallest buildings in the city. Chiang Rai hasn’t gotten to the point of skyscrapers everywhere and I’m not sure it ever will. I was on the sixth (out of seven) floor and I seem to remember one of the hotels having ten floors but apart from those I don’t think there are any other buildings above four floors in the city.

We Are The Hedons – 22nd September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Goodbye temperance, born in America
Though you’ll never see its shores again
Your virtue was traded for a case of beer
But I’ll never forget it
Falling over rotten fruits
Stumbling and staring like zombies
Yielding to hordes of defiant
Adrift from a safe port

We are the addled, the overfed
Eyes wide at the pornography on show
We are the sexed, we ritualised
Our own descent into vice
We are the Hedons
Second-rate human beings
Grab your beers and a handful of pills
The Hedons have won again!

The theme inspired by a post from the Stoa Letter and words adapted and morphed from The Van Pelt’s ‘We Are The Heathens’

20th Sep 2024 – Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge – answer

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and also feeling like my energy is depleting quickly. At least Fridays are relatively easy days for me. Annoyingly I woke up about an hour before my alarm with my brain already active and my alarm went off just as I got back to sleep. I got up with a ‘fuuuuck’. The morning sun is enjoyable though, although without the shade over the playground at school, all the short kids want to stand in my shadow.

Today I’m grateful for:

The doctors and nurses who took care of Amy’s dad in hospital and in the operating theatre. The good news is that as far as they could tell the cancer hadn’t spread beyond the bowel so hopefully after recovery, maybe he’s good to go again.

The best thing about today was:

Another successful spelling test with my grade 7s. After the better students finished and left I really enjoyed helping the stragglers to figure out the words using mime and drawing, just trying to lead them in the direction of the answers. It was interesting to see how some students used their phones to help themselves. They also motivated themselves to improve their scores with second and third attempts. It feels like the culmination of the semester’s work has come together pretty well.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As I went to leave House this afternoon a truck was blocking me in. There is a building being constructed next door and the workers there asked me to pull forward so the truck could get in. I assumed that they just wanted to quickly unload something and wouldn’t take long. They obviously didn’t understand that I wanted to leave but finally came to clarify when I was still sitting in my car with the engine running. I wasn’t upset or rude to them and they quickly let me out. A minor frustration, surely for both of us, but no need to get wound up.

Something I learned today?

I discovered that the new iOS has added a State of Mind log to the Health app. Now I want to figure out the shortcut to take me straight to it.

What do I want to remember about this time of my life?

As I’ve been fairly fastidiously writing this time of my life down here I’m hoping to remember a lot. Also to be able to review the gradual changes and see the challenges I have overcome.

Looking back at my old diaries has shown how little of what I wrote was meaningful and only serves as tiny memory joggers. Most of it is ‘got up, went here, went there, went home, went to sleep’! Even when I wrote that I was pissed off I couldn’t really articulate why.

Even though my life is a lot less exciting now I’m hoping to get down to more of the detail.

What I want to remember is how I turned myself around to feeling good and healthier and I don’t see any reason that that can’t be maintained. I suppose if I’ve forgotten things from 35 years ago then, if I make it to 90 I may forget the things I’m doing now.

I took this picture a couple of days ago because I didn’t take any new pictures today.

Skipping Down The Street – 21st September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we play like children
Before we remember who we are
No more skipping along the road
Or taking a joke too far
 Why blush embarrassed at the fun
 Of pretending to shoot an imaginary gun?

Now the world is our playground
We’ve forgotten exactly how to play
Life suddenly got so serious
And we let it get in our way
We removed ourselves from our dreams
Made them into our children’s themes

3rd Apr 2024 – Submitted to The Daily Spur – adjust

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and energetic with any underlying feeling of tiredness just from exercise. Is it ironic that I’m feeling the best I have felt in a long time whilst Amy’s family is all struggling with their health and the stress that goes along with it?

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding a parking space outside the 7/11 next to the hospital as I had to go and wait with Amy’s dad whilst Amy’s mum went to grab some food and move her car. I bought a protein drink there to keep me going as I’m not sure when I’ll get home. I’m hungry after a long day.

The best thing about today was:

For my last class of the day, I gave the students a difficult listening and spelling test. I sat them apart and told them they couldn’t speak to each other. They had forty words to listen to and then spell. What made me happy was that all the students took it seriously and the ones who hadn’t been paying attention were being found out.

This was the real goal of the lesson. I don’t much care about the results of the test.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I knew that I would have to take Leo (Amy’s dad’s dog) for a walk after work and had built that into my thought schedule for the day, knowing that I would be tired as this is my busiest day of the week. During the morning I got a message from Amy that I was also needed after that at the hospital to relieve Amy’s mum for a while. Whilst not that unexpected it meant readjusting my mindset that now I wasn’t even sure when I might get home and to eat. Again, I submitted myself and got my mind straight about it. No point in being upset.

Something I learned today?

I learned the reason why China had to develop its own GPS system. In the mid-90s the USA declared a Chinese ship was delivering chemical agents for weaponisation to Iran, without any evidence at all. The USA forced the ship to stay at sea and demanded other countries refuse to let the ship dock. The Chinese offered for independent assessors to come and check the ship but the USA refused! Then they switched off GPS for the ship to use so the captain didn’t know where they were going. After 20 days the crew ran out of food and water until finally supplies were sent from one of the Gulf countries and it was allowed to dock. When the contents of the ship were checked it was all harmless as the Chinese had said. The issue of the USA’s ability to turn off GPS and later banning China from using the suddenly ill-named International Space Station pushed China to forge its own path ahead.

What are some of my strengths?

Patience, determination (when I care), perseverance, easy-going attitude.

At least that’s how see myself. I wonder what others might think my strengths are?

How do I find peace?

I think I found it by travelling a long way and forfeiting a lot of the things that previously brought me pleasure in a less peaceful world (big city rat race office job). 

Making life a little less complex and being in an environment with fewer choices has made me more peaceful. If I had done this 10 or 20 years ago I think I would have felt more restless but right now it’s perfect.

Quote: Happiness is a virtue, not its reward – Baruch Spinoza

I didn’t understand this on first reading so shoved it into ChatGPT asking it to be explained to a twelve-year-old. Then I could make sense of it. 

The point of this statement seems to fall into place with time and practice. I can recall times when I knowingly did good things for some vague notion of brownie points. Maybe by repeatedly doing things like that, I learned the habit of doing good things and in time my reasons for doing them became less contrived. I have become happier over time as I’ve matured. 

I don’t believe in karma as such, in that I don’t believe that if I do something good then something good will happen to me, but that if I do something good it just makes me feel better. My karma is internalised rather than hoping for some kind of reciprocal external reward.

I took this picture because this was the result of trying to get excitable Leo onto his leash!

A Little Sunshine – 20th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When the sweetest words are whispered
With sincerity and connection
Dreams inspire more dreams
To bring light, hope and meaning
A little sunshine that beams on the floor
Not only warms the feet
But comforts the heart with it
To counter my own rainy days

Today I’m feeling:

Very positive and happy. By around midday, I was that kind of happy tired, a little delirious, meditative and relaxed. I am starting to feel the wind-down myself now though I still can’t really fathom that in a couple more weeks I’ll be heading to Australia.

Today I’m grateful for:

The guy at the market who sells puff pastries with durian cream. He hadn’t made any when I got there last week and I was hankering for it since then. I also saw the stall selling fish and rice that I wanted to try but had already bought salad for dinner. I have to remember to try it next week.

The best thing about today was:

All the good conversations with students in and out of my classes. One in particular with Jee about how poorly paid Thai government workers are and another with JubJib where she was riffing on this story that she was making up about all her classmates and what their characters would be like in her story. She asked me what her character should be like and I said she should be the opposite of how she is in real life so she should be tough and mean, wear leather jackets and like to fight. I could see her mind whirling with this idea, she seemed to like that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy is getting more concerned about her mum who is shouldering all the responsibilities for all the sick people in the family and has lost five kilos in a week what with running around, stressing and not sleeping and eating properly. Dad goes into hospital for his operation tomorrow and hopefully that all goes smoothly but at the same time Grandmum is not speaking or eating at the moment and may deteriorate quickly. So even if our plans continue with me going to Australia, the feeling may not be of excitement and pleasure. 

Something I learned today?

Today is Hayden’s birthday (27? Is that right!? Crazy!) and he went for Korean BBQ with his mum, friend and girlfriend. She sent me a couple of pictures so today I learned what my son’s girlfriend looks like. He hasn’t told me much about her but I hope she is a positive influence for him.

What went well today?

Despite having frustrating issues trying to get a projector working in my first class and all the students wanting free time (which I refused!) we slowly and deliberately did some listening exercises and even though it took them more than an hour to listen and write two minutes of conversation we did it with little stress and in a relaxed way and Jee, in particular, said she found this work difficult but enjoyed it and wanted to do it more because she knew that there are not many opportunities to practice like this.

I took this picture because yesterday there were posts on the university’s Facebook page from students asking about this friendly dog that turned up outside Lotus’s and the market along with pictures that I easily recognised as Tangmo. The posts were around 2 pm yesterday but I remembered that he came to see me when I got home at 4.30 so he had obviously found his way back home in the meantime.
The biggest worry about it though is that the highway is usually very busy and Tangmo isn’t the smartest and most aware dog in the world but he had somehow managed to navigate his way to the other side and back. I took this picture to send to Amy to show that he was still ok but typically he can’t walk more than a few metres before stopping to scratch or munch on an itchy back as he’s doing here. I’ve also been teaching him to keep a snack on his nose before he’s allowed to eat it. I think he might be able to do it one day.