Tag: students

We got that attitude! – 24th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful to have had the chance to sit quietly in the cafe doing work. Today I won’t be able to do that and I will miss it.

Naturally, last night I went over things in my head many times. I thought about many different questions and defences for my work but by the morning, I decided not to meet and talk more with Kru Nu. I’m certain that any parents’ complaints are just from lazy students and the only reason they complained is because I told them their children are lazy.

I’m still annoyed that the school didn’t support me without finding out any information but that’s the way it is. So, simple solution – don’t tell the parents!

I was hoping that by telling them that it would encourage them to push their kids a little when they are not at school. Maybe it worked for some but others are perhaps convinced that their little princes and princesses can do no wrong. Maybe they even believe the grades they get!

So, I will carry on as is, perhaps making things a little easier of simpler but I will push on with pushing them on. As I told Champ, I’m not really teaching English. Their understanding of English will occur naturally once they see the rewards of work and practice through thinking.

Coy Maids Yield – 23rd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

A peach, not yet ripe, hangs tempting
Soft fur on skin clear and pale
Untouched by the hands of fate
A heart grows older, lamenting
This light will never be the same
When summer arrives, the crow is late
And so shall end this game

The gravity tugs at all the fruits
Suspended like puppets, dancing on the wind
The ripened fall among the flowers
As the strings begin to yield and bend
Gently whispered words that sour
As hungry wolves gather sniffing
In search of fresh fruits to devour

No new ideas found under Newton’s tree
What is gone will bloom again
Forbidden fruits in gardens green
Cherries picked, hummingbird and bee
Seeds spread to await cold rain
The coy maids’ pollen floating free

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that we found a little scratch on Cap’s belly last night so that we could treat it before it might get infected. It was because I love to pet our cats that I usually find scratches and cuts that need attention.

All good things must come to an end? Whilst I’m happily working away, thinking up more and better ways to encourage my students to learn, I got told that the school has received complaints about me from parents. It’s not clear to me exactly what these complaints are yet but giving students assignments to work on when they are not in class (ie online teaching times) was mentioned.

As I think about it I wonder if these complaints are actually not so much about me but about the students, their children. Some are so far behind that they would struggle in even primary classes.

Tomorrow I will talk to Champ and Kru Nu and I will think of questions that I want to ask them. In particular, now, my two questions are what are the specific complaints and what do you want me to do? When I was talking with Champ, I just got the vague response of ‘make the complaints go away.’

I know that George will be shaking his head if he knows about this. He always keeps everything smooth and makes everything as easy as possible for his students. They can cruise through his class. I see the Thai teachers doing this too.

Ah – I’ve written this all here before. I want to push the students, make them curious and interested to learn. Each class has such good students mixed with others who have very poor skills. I prefer to teach to the middle-top rather than be bored with teaching such simple stuff.

But maybe I should change my thinking, have the simple life, make it easy and care less about the outcome for the students. It feels like such a cop out to me. Should I even be a teacher? I’m anxious and confused now. I want to defend myself but I should just try and keep my mouth shut. In the meeting tomorrow I should take notes and just work to what they tell me.

Gah! Even as I’m writing that my head is going ‘but…but…but.’ Do I care too much? I love all these kids, even the poor students. Even the ones who don’t like me.

Along with all this we’ve been trying to sort out Amy’s name change for her Aussie passport and that can of worms continued to grow but now we’ve sorted it out and will have to deal with all the Thai paperwork when she’s back from Australia again. That was stressful and it’s still stressful knowing that we will have to revisit it again in the future.

In another 11 years (or is it 15?) I will be able to get my superannuation from Australia. Where do I want to be? Where will we want to be? Should we sell up and go back now? Could I survive in Australia again? Could I do it without working? Where is the easy life I was searching for?

Haha. I make myself laugh. I’m always telling myself that it is better to suffer in life. To know that you are alive. Life is pain. And that’s ok with me.

The Week That Was – 25th February 1979

The Hum Of Life Has Gone – 19th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Those were the days of objects that sing
Now all our machines ever do is ping
I don’t want to say that it’s wrong
But I’d like to hear a different song

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that most students didn’t come to school yesterday – I ended up drinking coffee and getting a massage.

My neck and back were sore yesterday evening after my massage yet somehow I was invigorated and stayed up reading pretty late.

Today has turned out a little busier with more students around but all at a nice, manageable size. I’m thinking about changing 2/11’s work as they all seem a little confused about even simple things. At the opposite end, 2/9 are doing super well.

I watched a short video about sexual assault in Thai schools and I want to show it to 2/9 and have some discussion around it. I talked with the class leaders to make sure that they tell me if they think there may be any problem for any students to watch this. I mean, who knows if anyone is going through those things now? They seemed to think that it would be ok. So now I’m looking forward to putting together some questions and scenarios for them to discuss.

It’s interesting and frustrating, the different levels I am teaching these kids at. I think they are all great though – even the lazy and disinterested.

Read A Book – 2nd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Gonna be a good day, gonna read a book
Even the adults are smiling everywhere I look
The sun may not be shining but our hearts are bright
It’s gonna be a good day, gonna let in the light

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see my students back at school again today. They were happy to see each other but not so happy to study again.

Busy and mostly successful day at school. No time to read or write, really, and one hurried coffee in the morning. I felt good and happy, though.

But now I’m tired and feeling it a little. We haven’t been given any schedule for tomorrow yet, so I can only hope that it’s not as filled as today. Either way, I will cope and enjoy my day.

The Week That Was – 28th January 1979

Secrets of Hosseini – 3rd September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

“Tell your secret to the wind
But don’t blame it for telling the trees”*
Like a mynah bird in your hands
Slacken your grip and away it flees

*Khalil Gibran
These two lines (modified slightly) appear within a few paragraphs of each other in Khaled Hosseini’s ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ and stood out immediately to me for their poetry. I take no credit, really, for jamming them together.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have gotten an appointment for the Pfizer vaccine today. Let’s hope it all goes well.

Well, I surprisingly received an email late yesterday afternoon with an appointment to get the Pfizer vaccine – something I registered online for a few weeks ago. I wasn’t really expecting anything much to come from it but the appointment was for this morning! Typical Thai last-minute information!

Anyway, everything went smoothly with getting the vaccine at the hospital in the city. I was even in and out before the actual appointment was scheduled. No undue side effects that I notice and I go back for the 2nd job on 1st October.

I assigned work for my morning class to do and quite unexpectedly ha;f of them did it even though we didn’t have an online meeting. I’m in the middle of my afternoon class and they are all working surprisingly well too. Except for Dew.

Dew cannot understand English at all and shouldn’t really be in this class. Last year, he frustrated me in class a lot, not because he didn’t do the work but because he would always be talking to other students and disturbing them. And not just talk and stop but like an unbreathing radio DJ.

With studying online now, it is easy to mute him, when he even bothers to attend.

But I must admit, I like him a lot. He’s pretty funny and when I asked him to sing a song, he would do it. I think we understand each other well enough. We both accept that he is no good with English. Let’s see if he stays quiet when he’s back in the classroom.

Dust – 1st September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

We are dust under the dust of the feet of the king
Now unsatisfied with the problems that you bring
Rising up to challenge centuries-old traditions
That led the country into these downtrodden conditions

What made sense once no longer really applies
The world has gotten smaller for information supplies
The dust, the people are not prepared to let it be
They are motivated to be the change they want to see

7th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – dust

Weight: 78.0kg
Resting heart rate: 48

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to get through another month mostly healthy – just a little pain. Let’s see what excitements September brings.

Stuck at school all day but that’s ok as I can keep myself occupied wherever I am. Having pen and paper, a book and internet help and the two coffees I picked up this morning have kept me charged up well.

I’ve updated things on my blog, written my daily poem, played guitar for ten minutes – I brought my shitty guitar to school just for this purpose and bought a better one a couple of weeks ago.

I’ve taught three classes, marked their work, which I can feel is always improving; helped another teacher with their work – warning them not to ask questions that they themselves cannot answer!

Only thing I haven’t done yet is read some of my book, which I normally do at the cafe. I have read a bunch of articles online, though. My eyes are a bit blurry from staring at the screen.

The best thing about today is seeing my students ‘ improvements through the semester. For some reason, these things stood out a lot today. Anyway, it makes me happy. Some kids are sneaky and try and trick me but it’s out of laziness more than anything. I think I catch them most of the time.

The Week That Was – 25th March 1979

School Of Life – 4th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Even as a teacher, I am still a student of life
My own students teach me many things
Don’t take any learning for granted
Enjoy the satisfaction new knowledge brings

7th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 38

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the money I receive for my work. It helps us enjoy nice things when we would like.

Just looking back to this time last year I can see how happy I was with teaching at this school. Of course, it’s nothing to do with the school but to do with the students. They make it all worthwhile.

I saw that I was grateful to George for helping me get this job and it is only since then that I am aware of the differences between us. I rarely see him at school at the moment and haven’t talked to him for weeks, beyond hello and goodbye. I’m thinking I should at least make an effort to thank him again. It will be awkward but doable. It would make me feel good and perhaps do the same for him (not actually sure about that).

I had a really great experience with 2/9 this morning – the same kids I mentioned this time last year. We have been studying the story of the Eagle and the chickens, about the eagle who grows up with chickens and never gets to really achieve his potential, content just to be a chicken.

Many of the students answered the question about the moral of the story being that it is best to accept things and fit in. This took me a little by surprise and I had to explain about the different cultural thoughts around these things. As a teacher, I am still a student. I love that.

I would like to be able to explain to them more clearly about what I feel is the meaning of this story and encourage them to break free and fly higher. Awesome.

Just Words – 3rd August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

I just want to play with words
Fumble them around my mouth
First, seconds and thirds
North, East, West and South

No serious poem is this
Just a pleasure for me to write
Pen on paper is bliss
Without them there is blight

The Week That Was – 31st December 1978

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the avocado season here, providing lots of fruit for us to eat. Hopefully one day our own trees do the same.

4th Dec 2025 – both our trees died, eaten by some unknown bugs. We have a new one growing but it will be years before it may ever fruit.

Tonight I have no extra online teaching classes as Maeve will do her IELTS exam today. She is very good at English but I think she will fail the exam. I am not really an IELTS teacher and don’t really want to be seen as one. I much prefer just to have conversations so that the students feel more comfortable and familiar with the language. This is what I’ve been doing with Ashley. After a couple of cancelled flights to Australia, it seems she may suddenly be able to go there tomorrow. We’ll see. Especially as Australia is locked down and China may be headed that way too.

I was thinking how much I enjoy speaking with those two and why I am more comfortable to chit-chat with younger people in general. Perhaps I’m envious of their naivete and the possibilities they have for their futures. It’s why I want to push my students in the classroom to be the best they can be and I hope I can follow their lives into the future and watch all their stories unfold.

Most people around my age, and even a couple of decades younger seem stale, boring or dead! Or, sometimes like myself, feel so superior in our hard-earned wisdom, feel we are better than everyone else.

I love to teach my students how to find the answers to questions, rather than giving the answers. This skill will serve them better in the future.

In sad news, Mee’s father passed away from Covid at the weekend after being in a coma for a week or two. The cases of death are having less degrees of separation from my life and it is a confusing time. I would like to be locked up in the world of my home, just to venture out for supplies rather than having to come to school each day. Even with no students here it just all feels risky. Along with the vaccines – who knows how that will play out.

It feels like we are living through real history right now but we fool ourselves that we weren’t always doing that before. History is what’s happening, as they say.

I really must try and compliment someone today. I try to see so few people that it has been difficult for me to compliment others. I don’t count complimenting my students, baristas or Amy. That would be too easy. And I’m not about the easy!

Diaper – 27th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When love has gone wrong
Run off to dark spaces
Desperately clinging to hope
Remembering those embraces

Butterflied chest and tears
And seething like a viper
In the car for 20 hours
Wearing an adult diaper

A last romantic gesture
To mend your broken heart
May push away with vigour
Forever to be apart

Don’t laugh at their madness
When Eros too was your sniper
At one time or another
We’ve all worn the diaper

Inspired by We Learn Nothing by Tim Kreider, recalling bad reactions to broken hearts

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the preserved cabbage that we got given by the Chinese students who went back to China. It was yummy.

I ended up sleeping at around 7.30 last night and I’m glad I did. Still felt dizzy and tired this morning but my mood picked up after my first class of the day.

Tigger is in the hospital again and Amy and I went to see him at lunchtime. He has some dodgy blood level count which seems to indicate a kidney problem but the vet said we caught it quickly before he had organ failure again.

I’m glad I cancelled teaching yesterday and tomorrow. I’ll have one class tonight after school but like I mentioned yesterday I’m in the right frame of mind as I already have the natural tension from teaching at school.

Perhaps I’ve been working too hard recently but I feel compelled to be doing things. The quote from Ryan Holiday that we are human ‘beings’ and not human ‘doings’ was interesting to me as at this time, with lockdowns and everything, we are not actually ‘being’ as much as we would like. I am always ‘doing’, I never stop doing things, and those things keep me happy. Sometimes I get too focused on some things when I could be doing more, perhaps around the house or in the garden, for example.

Sometimes I wish all my stuff was in the house (as opposed to my man cave outside), especially as I would have my music playing all day long, and would read books on the terrace more. Now I feel like I have to do all my things in my room so it divides everything up into ‘my’ time and ‘other’ time. It’s a first-world problem in a third-world country!

Face – 14th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Let’s be straight and say what we mean
Because saving your face doesn’t keep it clean
Words that please can be heard as lies
To misunderstanding they give rise

Are you really so delicate you can’t hear
The truth when spoken loud and clear
We’re going backwards, why not advance
Here’s the real world, given a chance

19th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Misunderstanding

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be kept busy by my students. It is a difficult task to motivate them when teaching online so I spend a lot of extra time chasing them up.

Kim Chi is here in my room, and as she has stolen my chair, I have time to sit here on the floor and write this. I don’t want to push her off as she is very happy and relaxed with her paws over her eyes to block out the light.

I am home today, after arriving at school, out for a quick delicious coffee, back to start my lesson, only for Dylan to come and see me and when I saw he was wearing his backpack I asked him where he was going and he said ‘have you heard that there’s no classes today?’ Responding in the negative, he said that the Thai teachers were all going off for their second dose of vaccines and cancelled all classes – without telling us! So typical and annoying.

When I called our coordinator, he just said, ‘Oh, I thought you knew!’ How the fuck were we supposed to know!?

In the past, I would’ve gotten really wound up by this bad communication – especially as I’m always well-organised and have lessons planned around a regular schedule. Today, though, it’s just, oh well, at least I can go home and relax.

First, I went with Dylan to his girlfriend’s cafe, Tongsiam and had a coffee and chat there. His girlfriend, Wa, is a nice, level-headed girl, just out of Uni and looking for a more rewarding job.

Two coffees later (another delicious one at Utopia), and I got home for lunch – much to Amy’s surprise. And now, I’m relaxing in my room – after a quick go at the grass with the cutter, until it ran out of petrol. I feel compelled to get it back into proper working order again and make a little more effort in the garden, which is totally out of control at the moment due to constant rain this year.

I’m finding it a little difficult to love it here at the moment, but I must remember that I will be here for another 5-10 years at least, as I will stay here for our cats. I guess it’s all the frustration of not being able to go anywhere at the moment, too, and the Covid situation getting worse in Thailand. It’s hard to see an end to it or even the much-touted ‘new normal. ‘

Still, it’s my mind that needs to get in order – the world is going to carry on.