Where To Hide? – 29th April 2023

Where can I hide from you?
Your red and blue words cut
Angel face, honest and true
Harder to crack than a nut
Where can I hide from me?
My blue and red words cut
My cave mind unfair, unfree
Always stuck in my own nut
All that glitters is not gold
Our stories best left untold

Today I’m feeling:

Very relaxed feeling today so far. I feel like I got an unexpected holiday gifted to me.

Today I’m grateful for:

My curtains all around the house. Since Amy went back to Australia I keep most of the curtains drawn all day to try and stop the sunlight and heat getting in. I think in our next house we have to think more carefully about design to allow better airflow and insulation to keep heat out. If there ever is a next house.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying all the things I was reading from Substack articles about events in China, Dave Simspson’s book The Fallen about ex-members of the Fall and Michael Parkinson’s biography about his interviews with Muhammad Ali.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I called Hayden today and he was feeling down about things. He complained about his friends and how he feels they are treating him and also that he was feeling lonely. I was a little stuck with what to say and ended up saying that me and mum were far from good examples on how to make and maintain friendships and I felt a bit apologetic towards him. I tried to generalize things a bit and tell him that we often don’t have any idea what other people are dealing with so we have to forgive them and at the same time, we also have to be kinder to ourselves. I’m still trying to understand these things so he shouldn’t beat himself up about not knowing the best thing to do.  Although I couldn’t really help him at least he knows he has someone he can talk to.

Something I learned today?

I think I accidentally saw the result from today’s Swans match whilst looking around Youtube. I didn’t see a score but the picture and title were definitely pointing to a defeat. Oh well. I will still watch the match replay tomorrow morning and try and enjoy it!

What is my idea of fun?

These days I feel like I have no idea about fun. I’m happy and content but fun doesn’t play much of a part in my life right now. Perhaps the closest I get to the feeling is going on crazy bike rides or being with my students. I would love to be involved in concert organisation again but there’s just no chance of doing it locally and I’m slowly losing touch with what’s going on around southeast Asia too.

I took this picture as a follow-up to yesterday’s. It seems these flowers don’t burst open into bloom, they just wilt like this. They look like they are tired and gave up.

No Bricks, No Mortar – 13th April 2023

Keeping up with the Joneses and Smiths
Established in a canyon of glamour
Here are built the legends and myths
The counters to the sickle and hammer
There’s no volunteer to be the clown
As it’s just the beginning, just a starter
Their crushed dreams are raining down
Like confetti from a busted pinata

*Last two lines are a paraphrase from a sentence that stood out in Brix Smith Start’s biography and the inspiration for the rest

Today I’m feeling:

Better each day. I’m getting there. Today though Amy asked me to call her when I got up and when I did she told me her grandmum was rushed to the hospital after passing blood. In her 90s she still has a good brain but a failing body. 

Today I’m grateful for:

My phone’s alarm clock and my smart idea to set 3 alarms 15 minutes apart to help get me out of bed a little earlier. I’d like to get back into the rhythm of getting up early and sleeping earlier again.

The best thing about today was:

Talking for an hour with Hayden on the phone. As he gets older and has more life experience we can talk about many issues and subjects these days and I enjoy our conversations.

Also messaging with Echo in LA and catching up with her again which I try and do every 12 to 18 months.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy asked me to go to the hospital and visit her grandma in the evening after she’d been moved to a private room. The only problem is that today is the first day of the Songkran celebration and the traffic in the city was crazy. Whilst on the way there Amy called and told me to go home. It had taken her brother two hours to make the usual ten-minute drive from home to the hospital! As I’d been stuck in traffic for 20 minutes already I thought going home was a good idea too.  I enjoyed driving anyway as it gave me a chance to listen to more podcasts.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Echo is a ceramic artist and recently held an exhibition in LA, examples of which I could see in her WeChat Moments. I never knew that she was doing this and still not clear if she can live off her art but I’m quite amazed at her ability and pursuit of this.

What things are in my control today?

Some of my thoughts. Some of my actions.

I took this picture because I’ve never seen these fruit (or nuts – I’m not sure which) turn red before. This is on one of our palm trees. A quick search tells me they are foxtail palms (and they are fruit!)

Mark My Words – 19th May 2022

It’s a messy room to live
Misunderstood and bent sinister
Yet never felt better in its life
Your future are missing winner
Heads rolled, sure they did
A grotesque psykick dancehall
A triad-plus hip preist
The Smiths predict the fall
Always seen Totale’s turning
A solvent wax to levitate
It’s a caustic user syndrome
A kurious work to extricate
Mangled language perverted
A sublingual tablet bends
From the click of the country
To experiments of frenz
From the time the north was hit
The house was full of ghosts
A mesmerising miasma
A dream lie fiery jack a-toasts

Listening through the Hanley brothers ‘Oh! Brother’ podcast and falling in love with English accents.

The empire is not worries about the spread of disinformation, they’re worried about the spread of information.

Caitlin Johnstone

The Week That Was – 29th July 1979

Byrne’s Music – 11th November 2021

It’s a sex diagram
A time machine
Program Annihilator
A heartbreak scene
Messages subliminal
A Smith’s repetition
Gimmick harmonies
A metaphor competition
Ambiguous lyrics
A chaotic romance
Banging the drum
A community dance
Disturbed facilitator
A melodic personality
Layered catalysts
A concerted reality

Inspired and mangled from here: http://davidbyrne.com/explore/tree-drawings-arboretum/photos/music-tree-2002/1 with added references to SST, The Fall and Scream. The tune in my head is the Minutemen’s ‘One Reporter’s Opinion’.

The Week That Was – 11th February 1979

Poems on this day – 16th June 2021

He Is Not…….

What am I? The hip-priest? Unappreciated?
I have feelings too, though I often hide them well
Words cut deep until your appetite is sated
Where do we go from here, only time will tell
Just a little confirmation, inquiry on my state
Will go a long way to making me feel okay
Let’s make it good again before it’s too late
And regret all the things we forgot to say

In Your Head

There’s a coward in the room
Hiding out of sight
Stuck alone with you
Through the day and night
A shadow of a being
Testing all your ideas
Teasing and twisting
Pushing the buttons of your fears
Naggin’ at your noggin
You listen to each spell
Mixing up your emotions
You can no longer tell
The differences of what’s right
And wrong at all
If you keep listening to that devil
You will surely fall

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #70 – Dead End – 27th December 2020

Shut Down! Dead! Run out of town!  Sheltering over the border, we bring this one last episode before fleeing the despots.  One day we’ll be back!  Look out for DJ Donut Trump – he’ll bring you the future of rock ‘n’ roll.

This week there’s all sorts of music – weird, noisy, experimental, fucked up strangeness, straight-up punk and pop all delivered with no compromise.  Join our other 3 listeners to check out the end!

Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.

Listen right here or Mixcloud, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the students I have met since I started teaching. I have learned something from all of them.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #68 – Teeth Razor Sharp – 10th December 2020

The demons are attacking our integrity, the bogeyman is coming, teeth razor sharp.

This week there’s music from The Fall, Viletones, The Butthole Surfers, Frank Zappa, Psyche, Super Adventure Club, My Dad Is Dead, Dwarves, Toots and The Maytals, Moff Skellington, Red Forty, Descendents, Sun City Girls and Lucid Rivers.

Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
Listen right here or Podbean, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have another two days off school and be able to spend time at home and with Amy.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #62 – Hot Burning Billions – 1st November 2020

The hottest pile of burning money on the internet as voted by everyone, everywhere. Hotter than the POTUS on fire.

Highly curated, carefully selected and specifically ordered* for your listening edification by world-renowned DJtenzenmen, who has over 500 years of experience in this business.

This week there’s music from No Babies, My Dad Is Dead, Saccharine Trust, Neos, Charming Hostess, Landowner, The Fall, Art Bears, Jimi Hendrix, Pigment Vehicle, Andy Partridge, Renaldo and the Loaf, The Let Go!, Eat Avery’s Bones, Midori, Luff, Satanique Samba Trio and The Obits.

Intro and background music by Utotem, Phantom Tollbooth, Daniel Striped Tiger and someone else I forgot. Throw in some Hawkwind.
Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.

Find us on Twitter and Facebook too. Tell us if you like it, tell us if you don’t.
Listen right here or Mixcloud, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.

* ie totally random.

Weight: 79.3kg

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the opportunity to sit next to the pool overlooking the ocean and drink champagne. I still can’t get used to it when I think back to my past.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #50 – 7th August 2020

Music from The All Seeing Hand, Rolling Stones, Bongwater, Blurt, Shield Your Eyes, Cat Power, Josiane Rey, Rhino 39, The Fall, Cause for Effect, XTC, Moody Blues, Racebannon, Heavy Vegetable, Sir Millard Mulch, Big Block 454, Steve Harley and the Cockney Rebel, Ruins, Scrid and Christmas.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have been teaching all morning. I think the students are enjoying my lessons and I am really happy with them.