Twenty years ago, saw a friend walking by and I stopped him on the street to ask him how it went – 16th February 2020

There’s a vast difference between the habit of getting by, and the habit of getting better.

This switch from the old way was easy of course, because in the meantime I’d become an adult—I’m running a far more capable system, I just hadn’t thought to update the software.

– Raptitude newsletter

As I sit writing this at lunch time, I am surrounded by 40 children in the classroom, running back and forth, banging tables, experimenting with musical instruments, attempting homework or chewing on sugary candies. Each shouting over each other to be heard, some making fun, some making fists, some making affections. Some dance, some pull faces, some expressing themselves quietly in their own minds before releasing a new found energy burst that no one cares to notice.

Why can’t I practice this now? Where did my time go? Why does the weight of responsibility bear down on me now? Why do we grow up and what does it mean?

There’s a balance to be found somewhere within your own personal timeline. Do not close the mind off, do not become the old fogey that doesn’t understand the kids today and complains that the music isn’t what it used to be. You’ve had your turn, so what are you going to do now?

You need to upgrade your software. The hardware will continue to fail at a more rapid rate and software is the only way to deal with this problem. Otherwise you will become redundant and end up dusty on a garage shelf, waiting for recycling one day.

I got by for a long time. Instead of doing proper software upgrades, I tinkered randomly and blindly with the code. I put them off for as long as possible in a vain effort to maintain an ideal of youth. But youth is clumsy, ugly, grasping for meaning in a darkened room, grasping for skin in a passion of tears.

The light at the end of the tunnel ever approaches – we know one day we will see the light. Let’s get better – this is no time to be getting by.

……and all he did was cry
I looked him in the face, but I couldn’t see past his eyes
Asked him what the problem was, he says “Here is your disguise”

Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful that I am still alive today. Many of us didn’t make it this far.