Beauty Sat at Table
Dare to sneak a peek at you
Cast an eye beyond my book
I don’t intend to speak to you
Hope you miss my furtive look
Keep eating your ice cream
And playing with your phone
I just want to sit and dream
While we both sit here alone
Ah! Now you’ve got up and gone
Just a memory fading away
For you I wrote this little song
Beauty sat at table today
Watching the English
Anti-clockwise to pass the port
Dab your napkin as you’ve been taught
Take an Englishman’s dis-ease
Tell me, how do you eat your peas?
Is it dinner or is it tea?
It’s just eating food to me
Ensure your thank yous and please
How do you eat your peas?
No fish knives in my class
Let’s get out the crystal glass
Keep your napkin on your knees
How do you eat your peas?
Gave the world our fish and chips
Kept the flavours from our lips
Travelled across the many seas
How do you eat your peas?
*obviously inspired by Kate Fox’s ‘Watching the English’
Fat Fingered Fuck
Skateboarding in my 40s
I soon fell on my ass
Guitaring in my 50s
How long will it last?
I’m a fat fingered fuck
Is that striking a chord?
What a time to learn guitar
To stop myself being bored
I can never hit D minor
Unless I play so slow
Even an A is a problem
But damn, I’ll give it a go
