Fragments I-V (1973-1986) – 16th August 2026

~ shaun tenzenmen

Fragment I

There’s a pink gunge oozing down the shore,
across the pebbled beach
into the Sellafield radioactive waters.
Daring to swim around the bobbing turd bouys,
it’s here I dreamt I killed my father
whilst skipping stones.

Fragment II

Silhouette soldiers are pounding along the back lane,
vague shadows I see from my bedroom window.
Is this the end of the world already?
My father dead, I’m hyper aware of mortality
for a 4-year-old.

Fragment III

It was dark when I woke up
on the back seat of the car.
Alone and scared with no idea where I was,
I must’ve fallen asleep on the way,
and thinking it was the next day already
I was confused as to why it was dark.
A nice couple in a nearby house heard my screams,
chastising my mum and her boyfriend
who had been drinking in the pub.

Fragment IV

After her boyfriend cheated one time too many
we moved away and every time
a new man came into Mum’s life
I asked her when she was going to get married.
I wanted a brother.
It’s only now I realise I wanted a father.

Fragment V

I watched my mother just soldier on
giving me all the love she could afford
and as things got less complicated for her
they went the other way for me.
My own fault,
that’s another handful of stories and confessions.

One thought on “Fragments I-V (1973-1986) – 16th August 2026”

  1. Read this if “I’m fine” has become your automatic answer, even when you’re not.

    Somebody asks how you’re doing.

    You smile.

    You say, “I’m fine.”

    And eventually…

    It becomes your default answer.

    Fine.

    Always fine.

    But sometimes “fine” doesn’t actually mean everything is okay.

    Sometimes it means…

    “I don’t know how to explain everything I’m carrying.”

    “I’ve gotten used to handling things alone.”

    “I don’t want to feel like a burden.”

    “I stopped expecting anyone to ask twice.”

    And that’s the part most people never notice.

    Because the person who says they’re fine may still be struggling quietly behind that answer.

    They may still be overwhelmed.

    Still hurting.

    Still trying to hold everything together while making sure nobody sees how close they are to falling apart.

    Remember this:

    Not everyone who needs help will know how to ask for it.

    Some people have become so good at hiding their pain that even the people closest to them don’t realize anything is wrong.

    That’s why sometimes…

    You have to ask again.

    Not in a demanding way.

    Not by forcing them to open up.

    Just gently.

    “Are you really okay?”

    “Do you want to talk about it?”

    “I’m here if you need me.”

    Sometimes that second question is enough to make someone realize they don’t have to carry everything alone.

    Because the first “I’m fine” might be automatic.

    But the second question?

    That might be the moment they finally feel safe enough to tell you the truth.

    So next time someone you love says they’re fine…

    Don’t always take the answer at face value.

    Look at their eyes.

    Notice their energy.

    And if something feels different…

    Ask again.

    Sometimes the people who need someone the most are the ones who’ve become the best at saying they don’t.

    💛

    Save this as a reminder to ask twice. Sometimes “I’m fine” is not an answer—it’s a quiet way of asking if anyone actually cares enough to notice.

    #podcast #relationships #blessed #Amen #GodBlessAmerica

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