Lies lies lies – I despise
Truth truth truth – I want proof
Lies and truth
Truth and lies
They both cover-up
Cover up my eyes
*The Week That Was – 18th December 1983
Record of the week: Crucifix – Dehumanization, Kraut – An Adjustment To Society
18th December 1983
Pissed off with Justin cos we should’ve had a practice
Got pretty bored instead
19th December 1983
Started off bad – ended up alright – nothing special
20th December 1983
Found out Disorder is not on – bloody typical – depressed.
Watched Rollerball – pretty violent, pretty crap
21st December 1983
Finish school – thank god
Go to see Disorder, Amebix, Admass, Manic, Dead Popstars
Silly day at school – bit of a laugh
Watching the Fog tonight – not James Herbert – good fucking film
22nd December 1983
Records came thru’ post – can’t see them tho’ until Christmas (looked at them tho’ haha)
Got letter from Zoe
Not a bad day but nothing special
Carol singers came round so I put on Chaos UK
23rd December 2023
Finished reading ‘The Book of Shadows’
Got to clean the yard – ‘my contribution to Christmas’ – Grandad
Started reading ‘The Fog’
Listening to Kraut all day
24th December 2023
Intend to get pissed in Poole – did slightly
Nearly got in a fight – all the trendy nouveau wankers were enjoying themselves.
Had a chat with the blokes in Our Price.
May this be my last Christmas.
Just a matter of time, how when and where – 17th December 1983
Me and Thoms pissed around in Poole
‘The Devil Rides Out’ was on – ok
Crucifix – Dehumanization
Apostles – Rising From The Ashes
10th Mar 2023 – Thoms! Who was he? I’ll ask Rupert. I think he will remember. ‘pissed around’ – not exactly detailed but in my mind this phrase indicates that it was some kind of useless fun.
Reading the plot online of The Devil Rides Out doesn’t trigger any memories either. Sometimes I consider rewatching some of these old movies I used to enjoy but the pleasure is not so much in the movie but the nostalgia it brings. There are not many movies that really stand the test of time. Entertainment has no depth.
I was thinking about the Apostles and Six Minute War the other day because I was playing guitar and understanding that I will never be a great player but back in the early 80s bands like those mentioned were terrible players too. Maybe not players but their ideas (probably limited by skills) were dull and boring. But that was the essence of punk rock – anyone can do it and they did. That doesn’t necessarily mean it stands the test of time except, as above about movies, it is just for nostalgia.
Property – 16th December 1983
Destroy ownership
Share and share alike
As long as I can have mine
You try to say without spite
Why follow one fashion
When you don’t know what it’s about?
You hear one sheep bleating
So you can raise your shout
Hide your feelings under a shroud
Tell me you agree with what I say
You never wanted to follow a crowd
But it’s what you do every day
18th May 2023 – Wishing for utopia and telling people that they are wrong.
Untouched Tombs – 15th December 1983
My body is turning purple with torture
– Set me free from this tortured womb
– From the carnage of this untouched tomb
My head spins in crazy undiminishing circuits
– Like the blood through my purple veins
– Who can tell what it contains?
Push the red button in my profiled face
– My bulging eyes will turn to grey
– It seems that nothing will take the pain away
The gravestones of my memory are dull and black
– The scented roses are screaming blue
– The dirt in my stomach is screaming too
The uncertain moods of painful emotion
– Make me sick with their tiring surprises
– Cos they hide behind so many disguises
My imagination has been hurtfully disturbed
– Been taken over by a rat with a disease
– The pains are bringing me to my knees
Set me free from this tortured womb
From the carnage of this untouched tomb
The blood fed through my purple veins
Who can tell what it contains?
The scented roses are screaming blue
The dirt in my stomach is screaming too
Emotion makes me sick with tiring surprises
Cos they hide behind so many disguises
The rats are in the battleground of my brains
Picking and clawing at the plate of remains
Destroying my soul in this tortured womb
Destroying my brains in the untouched tomb
Annihilation – 14th December 1983
If we are a new breed
Then we should stick together
We should fight the system
And not fight each other
Annihilation of self
Annihilation annihilation
Annihilation of wealth
Annihilation annihilation
This is the end
And I’ve heard it before
And so have many of you
And many many more
17th May 2023 – By this time punk rock was fracturing into factions and I was frustrated with that.
I – 12th December 1983
I didn’t
I wasn’t
I can’t
I won’t
I never will
I won’t be blamed
I won’t say
I won’t be named
I
I
I
I
I see
Cult Maniax, Screaming Dead, Butcher, Self Abuse – Capones, Bournemouth – 26th November 1983
The Cult Maniax bass player was so drunk he had to play slumped in his chair, often also with his girlfriend on his lap. A dedication to alcohol, that was a key part of the UK punk scene at the time.
I found Butcher a little bit one-dimensional after a while but loved Self Abuse. Shock To The System were my favourites though. They just had something a little special that separated them from the rest. I was soon to make friends with them.


Can’t Wait – 24th November 1983
Can’t wait for the end of the lesson
Can’t wait to get it over and done with
Can’t wait for the end of the day
Can’t wait to get out and live
Can’t wait for the end of the day
Can’t wait for the end of the week
Can’t wait til the end of term
Can’t wait to go out and seek
Can’t wait to leave school
I can’t wait at all
15th May 2023 – Safe to say that I wasn’t a big fan of school.
Wicked – 21st November 1983
No rest for the wicked
No work for those who demand
No help for the needy
Not from those in command
No house for the homeless
No peace for the quiet
Who is despised the most?
Dare you call us wicked?


