Tag: Anchan

My Compass – 11th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 24 Comments

Uncertainty filled
Troublesome future begins
The big questions unanswered

Yet you bring to me
A much-needed light to shine
My compass, my map and guide

Shared with Tanka Tuesday (life change) and Moonwashed Weekly Prompt (where I’ve taken Eugi’s words and added to them).

Mondo poems are often very brief collaborative affairs (usually written by two poets) that present a question. (The question needs to be open-ended and poignant and should be a test of the answerer’s wit). The answer is written in the style of trying to glean meaning from nature. My poem doesn’t quite fit this requirement but let’s use our imagination.

Mondos can be as short as a one-liner or as long as two 5-7-7 syllable stanzas.

The first stanza presents the question; the second stanza gives the answer. We usually write this form in the spirit of Zen, responsive through meditation and observation of natural surroundings.

Today I’m feeling:

Reasonably ok, though I woke up early again and struggled to get more good sleep before my alarm went off.

The morning passed quickly with more reading and writing and, shock horror, even some lesson planning – though it was more thinking and organising than writing any new lessons.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The ladies in the financial office who helped me to provide them with the documents that they had requested. Through broken English, broken Thai, phone translation and gesture, we managed to get everything sorted.

The best thing about today was:

Making it out into my room but not long enough to play guitar, which was my initial intention for going there! I ended up sorting out the Hellboy comics reading order in my files, which took a fair amount of work and it was dark by the time I finished and time to eat.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a message last night from Anchan saying that she checked into the hospital again last night, as she has a fever and was worried that she would go into shock. I offered to bring her food or whatever she wanted but she said that she wasn’t allowed visitors.

Something I learned today?

The Internet Archive is currently the target of hackers and it would be a travesty if the data held there were lost. Some people have compared it with the Library of Alexandria.

I took this picture because Garfield was in the in-tray when I went to visit the financial department. Earlier I had seen him sitting comfortably on a ledge with a one-storey drop on the other side!

The Big One – 10th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

After one too many casting couch sessions
Marilyn turned in her grave to send these lessons
Let fire, thunder and earthquake run free
And watch Hollywood sink into the sea

Shared with Kevin’s No Theme Thursday and this picture prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Good, this morning, waking up before my alarm again for some reason. I heard some heavy rain and thunder briefly in the early hours and the air was clean, fresh and cool when I went to do some exercise and stretching.

After clocking in, I went straight to the cafe (Couple Cups) to write and maybe do some lesson planning. I have been thinking about it at least!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

This neck massager that I received from Temu in China today. It’s not that great but it was also cheap, so I didn’t have high expectations.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s quick dinner with fake pork belly. Delicious. I don’t usually want to put food-related things as the best thing of the day but today hasn’t been filled with too much of anything besides coffee, reading and writing, sleeping and eating!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The after-effects from last night’s gummy hit me once I got home around lunch time and I ended up sleeping for a couple of hours and even now feel as if I could go straight back to sleep again and it’s only 7.30.

I really don’t like wasting my time sleeping! But I do enjoy sleeping.

I also spilt coffee on my brand new white shirt whilst I was at the cafe. I soaked it as soon as I got home and hope that it doesn’t stain.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Anchan is stuck again and feeling down. I’m trying to perk her up but her situation is fairly desperate. She has been in the hospital again because of low immunity, probably from not eating enough. I’m going to try and take some food to her tomorrow.

I took this picture because Garfield has been hanging around at the office most mornings.

What Wisdom – 29th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

Nothing now will change the mind
Of what’s decided by mankind
For all the proofs and arguments made
The highest price is always paid

A spear for heads, a sword for hearts
In search of union, the pulled-aparts
Secrets buried for manipulation
Histories bound for exploitation

The past once written on papyrus page
Wisdom to be lent to a future age
New evidence brings into dispute
The wisest moral substitute

And one true path could be agreed
By humanity unburdened, freed
Yet as decided by mankind
Nothing now will change their mind

Submitted to No Theme Thursday (picture prompt) and Poets and Storytellers United – substitution – a meditation on the stupidity of mankind when presented with the tools for wisdom and peace.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again with a little clarity. I think that is coming from the skipping of Tramadol but the other effect of that is feeling less inspired and ponderous.

So after cleaning the entertainment area and stretching out my back this morning, I took one and will see how I feel later today.

This morning feels like a winter morning with nice, clean and clear cool air and it reminds me to look forward to this time of year and think about doing some bike rides again, which I haven’t been on since last winter.

I’m surprised my body isn’t more stiff this morning, as I spent about 17 hours in bed yesterday, either sleeping or reading. I read a great Paul Jenkins story called Revelations and, despite being tired, read the whole six issues. A great Vatican murder conspiracy with awesome artwork.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Chatting with Matt a little yesterday about maybe jamming some music together soon. To be honest, I’m a little scared as I really am hopeless at playing guitar and haven’t been excited enough to practice much recently.

I do also recognise, though, that doing something creative would give me more reason to practice and improve myself. I’m talking myself into doing it.

The best thing about today was:

Organising more things on my computer, in my room and on my blog. My old MacBook has finally given up, so I’m trying to get my music altogether on my old iMac, which is still going pretty well these days.

I was glad to spend a fair few hours in there today instead of succumbing to any afternoon snoozing.

Jet took this picture because she was messing around with my phone. One of my favourite students, Fah, and that’s Anchan working in the background.

Legend Tree – 16th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Is it safe to sit on old memories?
The musty heat binds spells
The hint of all possibilities
Returned to through dusted smells

The tales all began right here
The crossroads of the village meeting
Cherished moments soon disappear
Disruptions thankfully fleeting

Why did these histories not repeat?
They were where legends made
One or two remain on this street
But nothing else has stayed

Who now will push the swing,
Laugh at the falling from the tree?
To sit in the light the moon will bring
And who will remember me?

Submitted to the above picture at this week’s No Theme Thursday which brought to mind Polvo’s Light of the Moon (hence the penultimate line). The picture makes me nostalgic for my childhood village life, where legends were absolutely made, yet not repeated by the following generations.

Today I’m feeling:

OK, though a little on edge. I guess I feel a little bad for not going to school. I don’t know why but I don’t feel like helping with cleaning up there like others are doing.

Having said that, though, I will go tomorrow and see what there is that I can help with that hopefully doesn’t involve getting dirty and I’ll go work somewhere if I can. I need to find a new quiet place to work for a while, somewhere that still has a decent coffee, though!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

There being no real damage to Amy’s ribs, which are still hurting after she slipped while cleaning last week.

Hospital gave her the all clear and some medicine, though advised that this kind of injury, bruised ribs, can take a long time to heal

The best thing about today was:

Reading a few more chapters of Childhood’s End. Awesome thought-provoking stuff and in some ways makes me think of the possible peace China is promoting around the world, at least in comparison with the West.

Could humans pick themselves up and find a Utopian ideal by themselves? Could we submit to a power that provides for all? Could we accept internal Overlords without the necessity of an external alien threat?

In my mind, this must be possible. Though not in my lifetime. What about in yours, when you are reading this?

Something I learned today?

Anchan didn’t make it in time to apply for the exam for the school she wanted, but I think it’s because she knows that she would likely fail.

I’m still willing to help if I can, but not sure how much effort she is prepared to put in. I also don’t know what else is in her mind and what she has to deal with, with her grandmother.

Fatman report

A Suitcase Of Memories – 13th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Now my head is empty
Were the memories even mine?
I want to go back…
The comfort ahead is too appealing

I want to go back
I desperately want another go
Damn this one-way track
Damn the compelling glow

The first time I heard the seagull’s sigh…

Submitted to No Theme Thursday (and the attached picture)

Speech Odd:

Vocal : Hiranya Pavanram
Guitar : Watcharapong Rassame
Bass : Pongsakorn Srimuang
Drum : Wiriyapong Seele

Recording Studio : Sixthirty Recording
Mix and master : NP. Nampan
Illustration Artwork :Hiranya Pavanram

High Voltage:

Recording at : Extra.X3
Mixed&Master : Amontep

Vinyl via tenzenmen (Thailand) and ShitResist (Singapore)
Cassettes available here: speechodd.bandcamp.com/album/speech-odd-split-w-highxvoltage

Today I’m feeling:

Super tired as I definitely didn’t catch up on any missed sleep from Sunday night.  Never mind. I’ll have to try tonight.

I was looking forward to sitting down with some coffee and free time when my grade 9 students called me and asked to move their class from the afternoon to this morning again.

As this kinda suits me too, leaving the afternoon free, I rushed back and we went in search of a free room, ending up in the library.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Kratae for helping out Anchan as much as she can. It may not be much and it may not be enough for Anchan but Kratae is offering some hope at least. I will have to think of something that I can do for her as thanks one day. And I will ask Anchan for suggestions and if she can contribute in some way too.

The best thing about today was:

I felt my health improve a little over the day, especially mentally. Somehow, being at school is picking me up mentally, whilst seemingly running me down physically.

I was particularly energised after my grade 8 class finished at 12.30 but I didn’t leave school for another 45 minutes as various groups of students came to distract me, wanting to chat.

Something I learned today?

After much hassling from my students, I installed Instagram and TikTok and have been trying to work out how they work and if they are even remotely useful for me. 

I still don’t quite get them or how they work. At the end of the day, I just want to use this software to stay in contact with my students in the future.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

As I was contemplating being able to finish early and go home, Anchan messaged me asking to go with her to Nong Kratae’s for the first time today this afternoon.

I guess as I wasn’t due to finish until 4.30 pm anyway, then it’s not a big deal and I’m hanging around at House catching up on reading and writing.  Trying to get my brain back into poem-writing mode after a few days away from writing.

Tonkhaw took this picture because….he was happy to see his teacher hard at work, perhaps?

Jonny Bad – 12th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

‘Low-life’ Jonny is feeling low
Thinking nothing can be fixed
I’d really love to see him grow
And to get his message unmixed

Why does he hate himself so much?
Always putting others down too
Has he got a sensitive touch
That he’s hiding from me and you?

I don’t know why Jonny feels so bad
Maybe he didn’t get the news
That there’s no need to feel so sad
And it’s something he can choose

Written for a contest at AllPoetry.com about Bad Jonny himself.

Today I’m feeling:

A little rough in the stomach this morning but maybe all the chilli last night has blown away my headache and sore throat.

We didn’t get home until 1 am and I woke up at first at my regular wake-up time but slept a little more before forcing myself up.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Cheese and the store-brand vintage cheddar from Makro, which is reasonably priced. I just have to remember that we have it in the fridge because generally, now I don’t have cheese with any meals.

The best thing about today was:

Packing up a bunch of vinyl to send to Nampan from SpeechOdd, hopefully tomorrow. I need to get these records into their hands where they can sell them at shows.

I felt productive at least.

I also managed to get some guitar playing in today, too and noticed a slight improvement.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Takky came over for lunch with Amy, which continued for 7 hours into dinnertime too. Amy said that he is much more himself again after all the stress of his PhD work.

I let them get on with it whilst I was doing my stuff and didn’t hassle Amy to make me food as I had the cheese and her soft, sweet bread rolls to keep me going.

Something I learned today?

I learned a new finger exercise on guitar that I should try and remember and practice often.  You know, along with everything else that I should do!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I donated a copy of the High Voltage/SpeechOdd LP to put on display at Utopia.

I put Anchan in touch with Nong Kratae at the English Place and Champ has also supplied some information that may be useful for her.

I took this picture because the canopy over our entertainment area is evolving into a flowery grotto.

A Breath Of Life – 11th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A 15-year-old girl executed by fascists
Was the superhero in this tale
The revolution was real on the ground
The freedom fight must never fail

No one else came to save the day
A deus ex machina, just an invention
A teenager who trusted herself
Guided by virtuous intention

Real heroes often lose their heads
The blade brings a sudden halt
Left a monument to liberation
Against the brutal fascist assault

Inspired by the story of Liu Hulan who was executed by the KMT (who were supported by the USA)

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and a little out of it. I think that I might get kick-started with some coffee but could just as easily go the other way and nap some more!

(later) I haven’t napped but have had a pretty constant headache.

Health:

Physical: 4
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy for letting me rest a little and watch the Volleyball with Mum and Dad whilst she was preparing all our food for dinner.

The best thing about today was:

After dinner Amy wanted to sing karaoke with Aun and Priyao and so I was left to watch Netflix in the other air-conditioned room and I watched The Wandering Earth, based on Liu Cixin’s novel. 

A cool story but held back by a Hollywood-style screenplay.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My laziness and poor health have kept me out of my room today and lodged in front of the TV with a headache. 

A little of this is in part knowing that we go to Amy’s parents for Mother’s Day this evening and I’m conserving energy for that. And as tomorrow is a holiday I can catch up a little then.

Something I learned today?

I saw Shiso for sale in Makro. I was tempted to buy it and and just eat it there and then!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got a message from Anchan yesterday asking me to tutor her on weekends as she needs to catch up on her language skills to take an exam for a school in Chiang Mai. 

Today she added that she wants to get away from her grandmum here in Chiang Rai as she found out that her mum was sentenced to one and a half years in prison in Myanmar and not six months, which would be up soon.

I can’t tutor on weekends, though. I’m already so tired and today, in particular, really feeling my age. I gave her some ideas but I’m curious about her commitment to pulling herself through.

Vendetta Generation – 25th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Voices trembling, yet as one to sing
A collected mind travels the crow road
Where prayers and prophets seek to bring
The moon silk dreams once borrowed

A shatter as the violence worshipped returns
A zigzag missile homes in on the heart
Faced with the darkness, the torment burns
The moon silk dreams soon fall apart

Submitted to The Sunday Whirl Wordle 664 wordlist.

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up with the light before 5 am and knew I wasn’t going to get enough sleep, so I reset my alarm for a little bit later.

Even then, I still felt like I could go back to sleep easily, even after breakfast, driving to school and coffee!

As it was a special event day today, though (Thai Language Day), I soon perked up walking around school and talking with students. There were very few classes going on, so there was a fair amount of excitement in the air.

I cancelled my grade 12 class, giving them a small assignment to do instead and took it easy with the grade 8s in the afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting with students Jee and Pemai this afternoon. It started off with their gossip about Freya and helped me understand their point of view about her behaviour.  More interesting, though, was discussing differences between schools in Thailand and the West and also talking about some of the teachers and other students that they like and admire. 

Something I learned today?

Amy’s mum has shingles on the right side of her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the effects before but it looks really bad and painful. I need to investigate more about it so that I can try and avoid ever having it too!

I took these pictures of Anchan and Jee because they gave speeches in Thai about the importance of education (so they told me) for today’s event.

More Ice Cream – 20th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Can you be persuaded away
By the carrot on the stick?
Caught in the thought of ice cream
And eating until you’re sick
– Surely you need a jumbo serve
– To teach you what you deserve

Submitted to FOWC with Fandango – persuade and RDP Monday – jumbo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again.  The morning has whizzed by thanks to all my students being incredibly well-behaved and attentive today.  I’m a little surprised!  I wish every day was like this.  I actually felt like I was teaching rather than attending.

Today I’m grateful for:

The kids I asked not to come and disrupt my afternoon class today.  I appreciated that though maybe my students didn’t understand so much but it got them more focused and we got enough done.

The best thing about today was:

Those early classes setting up the day for me so that I’m not so tired.  I’m perhaps also getting used to this schedule too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy suddenly changed plans this morning as she didn’t sleep well but it was nothing that caused any real problem or made me change my plans too much.

Something I learned today?

It’s a possibility that Chad Warner could be lured from Sydney Swans to Freo, as he is from the West Coast originally.  He’s already touted as the best player in the competition.  He’s only 22 or 23 years old.  I hope he doesn’t leave though.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I sent encouraging messages to KanomBang and BB after they paid more attention in class and asked me for help.

I’ve also been sending Anchan encouragement every now and then.  She went to a speaking competition last weekend and was disappointed to come ninth.

I found iPhone, Fahmai and another girl practising dancing and they told me that there will be a competition next week so I wished them luck and hope that I can see them.

Dancing In The Street – 25th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

I used to enjoy the dance of days
Seized each second in many ways
Yet the sunshine never stays
– And here I am contemplating

I’d foxtrot my way through the rains
Tango a message that explains
Until only a rumba remains
– To leave the fat lady waiting

Waited she did until too late
I could not escape this certain fate
And ever since that fatal date
– I walk the streets alone

Thinking of a flamenco strut
Dressed and shaved, hair clean cut
Nowadays I’m anything but
– Can’t even dance on home

Submitted to No Theme Thursday and Ovi Poetry Challenge 49

Today I’m feeling:

My usual Saturday morning tired already.  It’s only been a three-day workweek for me too.

Last night I felt kinda invincible. Throw anything at me and I can do it.

Come the morning and I can feel my brain struggling to connect things together. As I was reading about John Lee Hooker and BB King I was thinking about something else entirely and I can barely remember either.

Quick coffees today as we will take Nong Na out for lunch to thank her for taking care of our cats last weekend.

Today I’m grateful for:

Taking the time to go to the city for lunch, picking up Na on the way.  We got to the hotpot restaurant at 12 and I couldn’t believe that it was 2 pm when we had finished.  Time went so quick and I was very relaxed.

The best thing about today was:

The mix of the hotpot soup that soaked into the rolled-up tofu sheets, then dipped into a peanut and sesame oil sauce with chopped garlic and then a sip of some Chinese milk drink to take off the heat.  Awesome!

The staff were concerned that the soup would be too spicy for me but to be honest I could’ve done with some more Sichuan peppers in there!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As seems to be getting more normal these days, time is out of my control and disappearing faster than I would like.  I sat in my room after lunch and started investigating a cento poem, which required looking through lots of other people’s poetry to pick out lines from.

Doing that and catching up on some other poetry reading evaporated 3 or 4 hours and I didn’t end up coming up with anything for the cento yet.  I still need to collect more before trying to put it together.

Something I learned today?

The USA has threatened the capability to shut down chip manufacturing in Taiwan if China should invade.  The short-sightedness of the threat is incredible as it would mostly affect USA products such as Apple, nVidia etc.

There’s a lot of crazy in the world right now, perhaps I should stop looking.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

We drove to pick up Nong Na this morning as there was a bit of rain around and I drove us to the city and back.  Whilst Amy paid for lunch I paid for the durian bingsu dessert.

I also picked up a couple of 20 baht Japanese toys for Baipad and NamHom whilst at the bingsu shop.

Nong Fah took these pictures because Anchan was sleeping in class like this! I asked her later about it and she told me that Kru Ren doesn’t know anything about teaching and is difficult to understand! The kids are smart enough to know their education sucks but don’t know how to get out of it and the culture here is not to question those seen as above you.