Tag: cats

A Time Too Brief – 6th June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

I’m going to take you to heaven
After I’ve fixed all your faults
It’s the end of the road, Jack
The silent fist assaults
Miseries drowned in buckets
You were saved and risen
A life designed for a moment
All that you were given
To chase the tail of fortune
Or find a place to be
Put down and out of here
A time too brief to see
The struggles of the brothers
All fighting for a teat
Survival of the luckiest
Suckled and complete

Our life is shaped by people on the margins, people who are doing things we don’t know how to do or where to do them.

Jack Weatherford

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my clean bedroom floor. I took the time to mop it and it has made it look like a liveable bedroom again. Now – for the rest of the house!

The Week That Was – 19th August 1979

The Astronaut – 2nd June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Flying, high above the ground
Wind rushing through tangled hair
Unaware of any given sound
Down on the ground, down there
Searching, this view from on high
All concerns, petty in perspective
Ants too busy to scan the sky
Asking why to God’s directive
Building, a world to call a home
Each step a web of confusion
Illusion, atoms split to be alone
Formed hearts of stone and brought delusion

Those whom know all the answers, just haven’t asked all the questions.

unknown

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Kim showed up this morning after being out all night again. I’m worried about her cos she’s acting a bit weird.

Getting There – 31st May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I don’t want you to get left behind
I know you feel you’re standing still
The world is running too fast to find
The chances to improve your skill
So I’ll give you all the time I can
Although my time is hard to spare
Let’s walk together to make a plan
That will see you getting there

Failures really gave me confidence. They led to great things and opportunities. I was terrified of those very things happening until they happened.

Cindy Spiegel

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have a visiting bird at eye level, and out of the way of our cats. I hope I can see the chicks hatch and they don’t fall out of the nests into our cat’s mouths.

Old Geezer – 30th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We didn’t know it before
Why the dark clouds came
You just had to get on with it
With only yourself to blame

Then someone turns on the light
And it all starts to make sense
So begins the slow process
To down the shields of defence

Inspired by reading Mick Wall’s Black Sabbath biography and Geezer Butler growing up with undiagnosed depression, much like myself.
9th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – sabbath

The feeling of having no power over people and events is generally unbearable to us.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Kim was waiting in the bookshelf this morning as I couldn’t find her last night to put her in her room.

Get The Winch – 28th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You used to be an armchair warrior
But now you got so fucking fat
You’ve become a sofa warrior
Unable to wriggle from where you’re sat

14th May 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt

Sometimes I like to read a book that has nothing to do with my life, which often has the effect of making me wish for a different life.

Elisa Gabbert

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the technology we use so that Amy can order and pay for food for our cats to be delivered to me and can see her face on video calls for her mum’s birthday today, even though we are in different hemispheres.

Curse Of The Critic – 19th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cursing the stupidity of man—
what good will that do?
Criticising all you can
is purely a criticism of you.

Perhaps if you know you are insane then you are not insane.

Baynes, The Man In The High Castle by Philip K Dick

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful Cap and Kim are both in reasonable health after having blood tests today.

A nice, deep sleep until around 6am, my weekday wake-up time, and Tigger started talking until he threw up a hareball.

Got a little extra sleep in before my alarm at 7:20, but had the weekend lethargy and skipped any workout, which all the cats were happy about.

After Utopia coffees, I packed up Cap and Kim, who both cried all the way to the vet, where they were given clean(ish) bills of health. Cap has to go back in six months, just to check one thing, just in case it becomes a bigger problem.

I met Swiss Kevin at the vet, who was bringing his dog in for a haircut. A lovely, long-haired, husky mix, a big-sized youngster with lots of energy and personality.

Happy just to be puttering about at home the rest of the day, thinking I’ll get up at 7:20 tomorrow, and instead of any workout, I’ll just get to cutting the rest of the grass after feeding the cats, and before it gets too hot.

Then I’ll shower and coffee before coming back to watch the Swans’ first game of the new season, watching on replay, and hoping I can avoid finding out the score before that. 

Malfunction – 13th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Malfunctions are a means of education
You must learn from your mistakes
The flaws revealed only in the execution
It’s the schooling that mastery makes

Inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws (March – Mastery)

13th Mar 2023 – I thought this poem had a familiar topic as I had read about this again today. This means I have been reading the Daily Laws for one whole year now. It’s become my habit so I’ll keep going, just as I do with the Daily Stoic, which I have in physical form now and read a page a day in the morning with breakfast.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Dr Arnon’s staff for taking care of our cats. Tigger reports back in good health. Kim and Cap go next week.

In the morning, the trees offer a noisy hum as a collection of bees feed on the fresh pollen. For a moment I couldn’t work out what was making the sound, until looking up into the freshly shooting leaves, and busy buzzing, making a kaleidoscope above me. These are smaller bees, not like the monsters that come to feed on our other flowers. No sign of a hive.

A longer walk this morning, pleasant, enjoyable coffees, some brunch now, to reading again. 

Fill The Gaps – 12th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Take it twenty-four hours at a time
Meet your ego with hostility and contempt
Your genius admired far and wide
These laurels appear to rest and tempt
Knowing all the things you don’t know
There’s a lifetime left to fill the gaps
You must learn to find the way
By first learning to read the maps

On solitude: That’s just the kind of ‘suffering’ I’m most at home with.

Elizabeth Bishop

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to find my laptop power adapter at Le Paradis today. I left it there by accident on Thursday. I’m grateful to the staff who kept it safe for me.

Yesterday evening, I discovered I’d lost my MacBook Air power adapter. I was quite annoyed with myself because it was going to be costly to replace if I didn’t find it. I retraced my day and realised I hadn’t used it since Thursday, and I thought I’d probably left it at Le Paradis.

I was going to the city this morning to take Tigger for his yearly vaccine and check-up. Cap was supposed to go too, but had thrown up, and didn’t eat this morning, so thought it better he didn’t go today.

I was so relieved when they had the adaptor at the café. I was very thankful. I’m getting a little forgetful, mostly about inconsequential things. I forgot to close the gate last night. A few days ago I forgot to turn the water off after watering the garden. I just hope it’s not an early sign of dementia!

I need to pay more attention to the things that I’m doing, instead of being off with the fairies and thinking about what’s next.

I notice I put on a kilo in the last few weeks. This is mostly because I’ve been at home more often than usual, and can eat and snack at any time. My work routine would usually mean that I didn’t eat anything between 8am and 5pm, and that was keeping my weight under control. I have to work out a good system when I’m at home.

Anyway, I consciously decided last night that I must go and walk in the morning, after feeding the cats, and before it got too hot. So I woke up with that in my head, and walked up to the uni and back. Next time, maybe tomorrow, I’ll walk around the uni too. That should give me 10,000 steps before I even begin the day.

It was a pleasant walk, enjoyed with podcasts, and some pats of a friendly dog. Now I’m back at home, and the rest of the weekend is mine.

Tigger’s blood check is all good, and Cap seems to be feeling a bit better. Everyone is lazy, though, because of the heat.

I found some free online courses I want to do, and will get into them until the new semester starts. I still don’t know if I’m returning yet, though.

I’ve been chatting with one of my students who is having a very tough time at home, and has contemplated suicide. I see her make new friends and she clings on to them, looking for the love that she can’t find at home. Unfortunately, she overdoes it, and the friendships fall away.

She mentioned to me the other day that things were bad again, so I told her she could talk to me anytime. I will try to help her. The only thing I’m worried about is that she gets too attached to me. I will try to teach her to improve her self-esteem and self-confidence, so that she doesn’t need to rely on others for emotional support. 

Mica Friction – 30th December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A bowling ball
Heading toward the pins
A 7-10 split
Let’s see who wins
Internal asymmetrical block
Influencing spins
Dry board mica friction
Analysed, winner grins

We got some blowback afterwards, but so what? We won.

Brad Blakeman, Republican operative

28 Sep 2022 – Most quotes I find are affirmations of a sort, but this one is a reminder of how corrupt people can be, doing anything to win.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the cat massage Kim gave me this morning when I went to see her in her room. Then we rubbed noses and cuddled until she got distracted and ran off.

A busy time coming up and my head is full of things. Good things though. Not feeling stressed about anything except for maybe overloading myself with too much. Nothing serious though – I just have so much I want to do in a day and it doesn’t really matter if I don’t get to do them.

I went to Central to look for a diary but couldn’t find anything suitable, so opeted to get another notebooks that I didn’t really need but felt compelled to buy after having made the effort to go there.

The omicron covid variant is dirsupting Amy’s thoughts about travelling and may change her plans. I think if she doesn’t go in January then she won’t be able to go until after my next visa is completed. I think she’ll make a decision in the next couple of weeks, carefully watching the numbers and decisions Australia makes about travel.

I’m about to rush back to school for a quick meeting with some selected grade 8 students to do some extra work on producing TED-Ed presentations in the future. Let’s see how it goes. I will go sit in the school cafe later and write some more. Right now – let’s see if I can spit outa poem for today!

Back again. Met with the students. It is painfully obvious the difference between those in M2/9 and those in M2/10 and M2/11. Those in M2/9 have confidence and feel that they can do things. The others – not so much but I really hope they don’t quit out of fear of failure. It’s a great opportunity for them to learn and grow, work with new students and make new friends.

I know sometimes, when I was that age, I would just give up. I know how they must feel. I also know that I would have benefited by changing my mindset and giving it a go. I’ll try my best to keep encouraging them.

I had hoped that Champ would be here to help reassure them and kicking myself a little by not explaining things clearly enough. Hindsight. That’s why I sent out a message of encouragement with a Thai translation. I hope I can keep up the momentum I’m feeling and don’t get dragged down by the setbacks.

What is difficult about being your age?

I’m half-jokingly thinking to myself that it sucks that I have the confidence (and lack of caring about the outcome) to talk to anyone now. Especially to pretty girls. Why I couldn’t do it when I was younger is annoying to think about! But it’s not really a difficulty of my current age.

The only thing that really sticks out is the obvious one of aching body parts. Constant sore neck, tender shoulder blades, sore wrists, and painful left foot. As I never really exercised much when I was younger, my muscles have all learned bad habits that may be difficult to reverse now. As with my initial thoughts, perhaps all I’m really feeling is regret – something that I consciously try to avoid or not consider.

At whatever age we are, we probably all want to be 5 years old again, without many a care in the world. So perhaps that is what is difficult – the inability to be a 5-year-old. Seeing things with a greater sense of wonder. It seems to require a greater effort to achieve that as you age.

I am a serious person these days. I’m happy like that. I can’t not care about things, so sometimes that is a little difficult to accept.

A Madness Of The Impossible – 1st December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The very essence of my soul betrayed
No knowledge may heal the wound I made
In this fog, there is nowhere to be or go
I just can’t forgive myself I’m afraid

Misery and self-loathing bedevil my days
A madness of the impossible Derrida says
The radical act of self-forgiveness so
Absolve yourself, you must find the ways

Inspired (and butchered) by a reply to a letter to Nick Cave at The Red Hand Files newsletter
and submitted to Thursday Inspiration #246

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that our cats seem to have recovered. Cap from a bad stomach and Kim from wounds after a big fight with Tigger. Tigger has been very well recently though his fur is starting to make him look old.

I was planning to do some preparation and reading and writing this afternoon but Fui brought his teenage son and daughter to House and I ended up talking with all of them for most of the time! Fui’s kids study in Singapore, and have done for many years. I’m not sure why and didn’t ask, but it’s interesting to get their perspective on things especially as English has become their first language.

My one class this morning was with 2/11 and it went well. I got them more involved by helping me to learn the Thai words for all the English vocabulary that I wanted them to remember. So, I’m feeling good.

A rest day from the abs workout. I can feel that there is less fat on my chest and my ribs are becoming more visible. I like this healthier me. As with anything, I should’ve started sooner. I’m still thinking about that time of brushing off Rupert when he started lifting weights at school. I was all about smoking and drinking. I was lucky that my metabolism sustained my skinny body into my late 30s and only the beer started sticking on my hips.

OK – back to it. More free time tomorrow afternoon to finish off this preparation.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 47