Tag: gratitude

Dry your tears, we did everything we could – 8th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Hot Snakes CD on shelf while stretching has removed Heavy Vegetable – Gar Wood, Gar Wood, Gar wouldn’t listen.

Heavy breathing, hot and sweaty, 30 squats, aching back – tried stretching it out – wish my body felt perfect but I go on just ignoring the pain or diverting thoughts away from it. Wrist ache – thumb ache – from writing. Don’t want to stop. (illegible) today. Dollars – more pain – hopefully, alleviated.

Green, green the garden now so many shades of green – I love it.

Congratulated Amy on her sudden garden passion and all the work she put into it. Drive the truck today – needs diesel – have to remember it’s not 91! Remember yr toothbrush too. Where to park that massive truck? Let’s see – everything will be okay.

Tell Champ you’re going to the dentist. Go to the banks too – sort out PayPal and WeChat.

Hot hot hot – sweat gathered on arm. What else is inside this crazed brain? Get it out.

Slept well, woke up during the night to the sound of the aircon self-cleaning but ignored well enough and drifted back to dreams. Maybe annoyed Amy but she was too lazy to get up and turn it off. Nevermind. Amy is lovely. I’m so happy and grateful every day to have her in my life because she takes care of herself and all the things around the house. Good she is distracted with garden instead of just drinking the day away now.

Gratitude Journal

I am happy and grateful for the good time I had last night drinking beer, listening to Alice Donut and Can, and doing a jigsaw!

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #41 – 7th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This week there’s music from Volcano Suns, Universal Totem Orchestra, The Controllers, The Piranhas, The Hollywood Squares, Rhun, Off Band, The Stains, Dead Milkmen, Ex Models, Dexys Midnight Runners, Dino Valenti, Unknown and Goblin.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my man cave. Last night we had a problem with our electricity so had to sleep in my room which was cooler and still had aircon.

To-do list

  • Don’t say anything negative or put people down ½
  • Relax and enjoy – there’s nothing that NEEDS doing ½
  • Enjoy what you are doing – savour it ½
  • Scan some photos today? ½
  • Ask Bee about photo printing ✅

Another easy and pleasant day. I feel like I could do the things listed but didn’t fully invest myself in them.

*Amy interrupted my writing and I didn’t get back to it in the end – so, now it’s Monday.

With nothing to do at work now it’s becoming challenging to stay focused. Still, we’re getting paid and not being asked to work. It’s okay for now; enjoy it while you can.

Sleepy day at work after drinking two beers last evening. Probably not eating enough at the moment either. Would like to stay under 80kg if possible but think I may need to increase my calorie intake if I try to do much/any exercise. Should drink more water too. I never drink enough water.

Why don’t you do something, at least get out of our way – 6th June 2020

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Tiananmen – America burns – irony, oh the ironing – where did that phrase come from?

Core is useless – short plank – five reverse situps and 16 bike, at least I know it’s something I can improve.

Smoky air today despite lots of rain, coughing phlegm – neck sore from sleep – would like my neck to be free from pain – been a problem for so many years now. Look up neck exercises.

Still Heavy Vegetable* on the iMind player. Foot massage yesterday, good but ineffective – need every day! I can’t breathe anymore – I can’t see through these lenses.*

Fat Tigger purring in my arms – still eager to get down. No lap cats in my life. Maya and Inca.

Little garden changes – making a home.

Okay – some weights. Slowly, slowly changing body.

*was actually Thingy’s Ketchup Sandwich

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to discover so many things that I enjoy. They keep my brain satisfied.

To-do list

  • Read more – finish book this weekend ✅
  • Record another TCRAH if you feel it
  • Listen to Rudimentary Peni ✅
  • Practice mini zine making
  • Scan some photos

Weird day. Felt very good throughout but very unfocused – I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do but ended up finishing a book which was a good result.

Amy got annoyingly drunk by the early evening – but not annoying so much because she was drunk but I got quickly annoyed with her – I think because I couldn’t focus and wanted to – then when she came and distracted me more – I got unreasonably annoyed. I ended up doing more jigsaw which at least maintained my focus.

Then, around 7.30 pm there was a short in our electricity in the house that we couldn’t fix – which sobered Amy up quickly! We couldn’t get anyone to come and look so had to sleep in my room which still had power.

Slept ok but woke up with a cranky back – probably from lifting blocks in the morning and then hunched over the jigsaw for a couple of hours.

We got that attitude! – 5th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful to be able to drive the truck today. I can see the traffic coming now.

To-do list

  • Savour something ✅
  • Perform a random act of kindness
  • Smile and think positive wishes ½
  • Compliment everyone about anything ½
  • No negative jokes ½
  • Go to Bangkok Bank and Kasikorn ✅

Another very chill and relaxed day with no work to do. Getting paid for a full month was a fabulous bonus too. I was so happy that I hung out in my room pottering and reading and just feeling great in general.

Amy is really happy at the moment too. What she has done with the entertainment area has really pleased us both. Our house is getting even more like a home. I love it here so much.

It’s hot again and drops of sweat are blurring the pages as I write. Thanks for aircon!

We got that attitude! – 4th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful to be able to sit in this teachers room with aircon and share time happily with other teachers.

To-do list

  • RAK, savour, smile, compliment, positive – these should be priorities ½
  • Can you connect more? ½
  • Practice your listening with follow-up questions
  • Don’t put down other people’s ideas ½
  • Don’t say anything perceived as negative ½

Today could just as well have been a holiday as George, Dylan and I did no work at all. We spent an hour and a half for coffee in the morning, an hour for lunch and an hour for coffee in the afternoon. Apart from that we watched videos and read articles or listened to podcasts. I felt very much at ease today, compared with earlier in the week.

I need to keep working on these points about savouring, compliments, thinking positively towards myself and others, smiling and RAK. I also want to improve on not saying anything negative in a jokey way. I think I can boil my tasks down to just improving these things each day.

We got that attitude! – 3rd June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful that I could sleep in this morning. Now I feel well-rested and can get the things done that I want to do.

To-do list

  • Savour something today ½
  • Close some tabs – clear out clutter ✅
  • Do your morning routine – do squats½
  • Smile, compliment, give positive wishes

A nice day today. Slept in until 9 am and went to Utopia for coffee. Cleared some things on the computer, lunch, foot massage, garden shopping, reading, ab workout, watched some YouTube videos. Nothing special or serious.

I did have the opportunity to connect with someone in the morning but missed out. Sometimes I don’t realise these things when they come up. Need to develop my awareness.

I meditated while getting a foot massage and at home. I did feel more focused after doing it.

We got that attitude! – 2nd June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful that I have the chance to go out to the dentist easily. Life is pretty easy.

To-do list

  • Smile, compliment (lie, even!) ½
  • Connect some more ✅
  • Savour something
  • Go to dentist to make appt. ✅
  • Breathing, meditate, sit quietly, positive wishes ½

A much better day today helped by an almost 10-hour sleep. We didn’t do any work at school today yet it passed by relatively swiftly and I had an enjoyable chat with Dylan. I enjoyed talking with Bruce this evening too.

No school tomorrow and I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do though Amy wants to go for a foot massage, which would be great.

There goes my dream, looked good on paper -1st June 2020

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Callen the gallon – those were days alright. Sweaty five-minute warm-up. Sound makes a sound – still Heavy Vegetable swirling around all the time.

Yesterday was filled with so much beauty it was almost too much to bear – it was outstanding green, green, green – Amy not impressed by the photos – “it’s my country – this is normal – this is why I want to see other places.” I get it, of course.

Up into the mountains skidding sliding – bemused villages staring. Akha church ceremony – it was Sunday. It was great – very lovely sounds. Some places so quiet, others cicadas like chainsaws.

Gap teethed stooping old ladies, “okay!”, smokers sitting in shade – pineapple groves – where to go? – is this a road? What are you doing to me Google Maps!? Buddhas everywhere. KwanYin everywhere. Miles and miles and miles – could I see the ocean?

Hours later I’m crispy salmon skinned – Magma CDs – play them one day. Das Damen – Jupiter Eye is upside down – why? Dazzling Kilman – must be close by. *

Cooler – big rain – 30-minute blackout. Oh no – it’s okay. Cold nighttime air, can wrap up warm. What are you gonna talk about? Nothing – it doesn’t matter – enjoy that coffee – keep the cup filled with coffee. Keep your heart filled with joy. Don’t fight it, the struggle is over, everything is changing. Embrace it. Gives thanks. Give love. You’re a lovely human bean.

Fatman report

Weight: 79.9kg
Resting heart rate: 53

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that De Lanna is open again so I can sit by the river with a coffee.

*writing this sitting next to my CD collection and perusing in thought

To-do list

  • Take the weekend with you – smile
  • Share your positive wishes to others and yourself
  • Savouring and random acts of kindness
  • Connect with someone – find out what they like ½
  • More blog posts ½

I struggled today to be honest. On reflection I think it may be somewhat connected to my sunburn – it is really bad on my arms and it’s not that it is painful or that I feel hot but I think I just got zapped of energy.

I got annoyed with two of the boys doing the filming because they weren’t paying any attention to the work. George rightly pointed out that it’s up to us to create the environment that we want to see but I was too tired and cranky to think about it anymore.

After lunch, I sat and closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. I felt much better after that and then, funnily, Dylan and George both got tired and sleepy too.

George can come across as quite bossy sometimes though he obviously has the best of intentions. It often rubs me the wrong way and sometimes I’m not confident enough to deal with it in a positive manner. I’m still very insecure about things and feel I have to prove a point. It’s my problem I know

I’ve been writing and reading all these things but still can’t seem to act on it. I don’t ruminate so much on things but a dark mood can be brought on by the smallest slight.

Anyway, I’m putting the tiredness down to the sunburn and the crankiness due to the tiredness. Tomorrow is another day (though the sunburn will still be there).

We got that attitude! – 31st May 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

I am so happy and grateful that I got up early and decided to go for a ride. Despite bad sunburn, I went to some amazing places and saw so many beautiful things that filled me with such joy. So happy!

To-do list

  • Get up early and go! ✅
  • Get some more June blog posts prepared
  • More reading
  • Try the long meditation again
  • Jigsaw and Inner Engineering½

The get-up-and-go went exactly to plan and I was hoping that I would get back before it got too hot. Unfortunately, I didn’t get back until around 4pm and am burnt crispy, suffering burning pains on my arms and knees. The ride was incredible though.

My thoughts were filled with joy and I was savouring the moment so strongly I thought I might cry. I smiled and laughed at everyone I saw as I ran out of sealed roads and discovered many 10-house hill tribe villages as I went higher and higher. I joked with myself that I got tired of seeing so much beauty.

I’m so happy to have done this ride today. Tomorrow I hope I’m not in too much pain!

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #40 – 30th May 2020

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I keep forgetting to post these but here’s #40. I had a lot of fun making this last weekend.

Music from The Wrens, Teenage Fanclub, The Freshies, Y.U.P., 2227, Cleaners From Venus, DJ Pica Pica Pica, Boredoms, Swans, Pigment Vehicle, Renaldo and the Loaf, Jaks, Callers, Bad Religion, Sun City Girls, Thingy, Leaving Trains and Karl Blake.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I arranged to meet Bruno this morning. It means I don’t have to help clean the house! Not that I mind cleaning the house, it’s just a convenient coincidence.