Insane Scream Banana

Acid smiling elephant house
Creeping crawling belching mouse       
Windy winding smelly toad      
Falling laughing humble abode
Insane screaming banana dirt   
Melting mountain desperate flirt           
Silly stupid pathetic rhyme      
Plastic shotgun crocodile line

Miss Lady

Ok Miss lady, you said do it in silence
And I tried my best to keep quiet          
Yes Sir but you brought about this violence        
And turned everything into a riot          
I’m sorry Miss Lady but I can’t help out
It is above and beyond my comprehension         
Yes Sir, but you don’t need to shout      
You already have my attention
At last it is done …. aaahhh!  

Pebbles

You are sat in my armchair
Just the most wonderful teddy-bear        
I will get to sleep all right       
When I go to bed tonight         
Because I can hug you tight     
I can turn out the light

Hungry

You get to a stage
A part of the day       
When that feeling      
Won’t go away          
You just can’t explain to me     
Why am I always hungry?     
All I know is eat, eat, eat         
Let’s sit down to a lovely treat  
I don’t know what anything means to me            
All I know is – I’m hungry

Ugly Bug

On my sideboard
Oh – good Lord         
It’s an ugly bug         
Round and square      
Just balanced there     
An ugly bug

Stupid Poor Boy

I’m not very clever
I don’t understand a lot           
But I know I’m happy
With what I’ve got 

To Drink

To drink and be drunk is very merry
Sit down, relax and watch the telly        
To think and be drunk is very silly        
You start calling William Willy           
To drunk and be drink is very telly   

Soft Blow

You came at me from out of the blue
I was always falling for people like you
When you touched me there was nothing I could do         
Give me a soft blow and just blow on through        

Yuppie

Yuppie – do
Yuppie – dik
Yuppie – li    
Yuppie – sick
Yuppie – up  
Yuppie – suck 

Harry and Mary

You know they were the sweetest pair
Went with each other everywhere         
She drank wine and he drank beer         
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Backache

You can bake me a birthday cake
Take me to a scenic lake         
But can you, please, for my sake          
Get rid of my backache           
Every step I take       
I’m not sure I can make           
I try to keep it straight
To get rid of my backache

Cursed Earth

Blessed are the victims of puritanical hate
Guardians are wary of those you enter late         
Calling to the Cursed Earth looking through the gate        
Richest rewards come to those prepared to wait

Bastard Baiters

A call to arms
Now don’t be alarmed
If you catch them all  
You can go unharmed
Cast out the waiters    
Make them bastard baiters       
Better never than later
Make them bastard baiters