I Know What You’re Thinking – 23rd July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen

Dieter, where did you come from?
And where are you going on that train?
A coat and cigarette keep warm
There’s a look on your face I can’t explain

Your eyes reflect the blur outside
You look lost in what’s gone past
Speeding headlong backwards, onwards
Out into the cold world so vast

Moving at speed whilst quietly sitting still
The dust of the morning on your mind
Stepping onto the platform, time stood still
As you contemplated what you’d find

When you look out, you’re looking for me
I don’t mean for me to be seen
I mean you’re seeing the things I see
Reflected in all the places that I’ve been

I recognise your heart and passion
I see you collecting everyone’s thoughts
The future is heading right toward us
As we must navigate these ports

inspired by the attached photo, written about at Spinning Visions blog
15th Mar 2024 – Submitted to dVerse ONL
19th Jun 2024 – Submitted to dVerse – traveling by train

Today I’m feeling:

Struggled to get up after a difficult sleep. It was still over 30 degrees in my bedroom at midnight so I had to shove the fan next to the open window again and by the time it was getting light, I started to feel cool. Having the weight of the two fish I ate last night sitting in my stomach didn’t help either. Finally, I slowly stretched, cobra, child’s pose, cat and cow and opened my eyes. I felt okay. I talked myself into riding my pushbike to Utopia and eventually (see picture below) am relaxing with caffeine, considering a third cup to cap it all off.

Today I’m grateful for:

Window polish/cleaner. And Amy. Combined they made the kitchen window clean again. Free of lizard shit, cobwebs and other detritus. I can see clearly again as I chug down a glass of water or wash out the cat bowls.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like things are coming together around our house again as Amy tidies, cleans and rearranges everything to her fancy. When I’m here by myself I’m just living but when Amy is here with me it feels like home again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I guess the morning start going to Utopia with Tangmo following along was a little test as I had to leave again before I could even have coffee and ride back, taking Tangmo home. But I dealt with it with calm acceptance and just enjoyed the ride and tiring ‘mo out.

Something I learned today?

I must’ve learned something today! Oh! I read a couple of interesting interviews in the Punk Planet book. 

That whole book has me reevaluating certain things about my role within the punk/DIY scene. I think when you are deep in the middle of something like that you take it very seriously. Sitting a little outside of that scene now puts into clearer context how others might have viewed it at the time. 

One of the interviews was about a scene member’s frustrations with the changes he’d seen at the time (mid-90s) and it felt a little trivial in retrospect but I also understand that a lot of time has passed since and more world experience gathered.

Of more interest was the other interview about protests about the gearing up for bombing Iraq in 1998. 

The interviewee was from our scene but had somehow found himself on live TV (CNN) addressing the warmongers in the US government. In the interview, he was hopeful about the movement of protest against this but history ended up differently as political manipulations saw to it that Iraq would be crushed and crippled for a long time. 

Almost every on-the-ground report I have heard was about how welcoming the average Iraqi was to strangers. The same propaganda that is currently loose on Russia and China must not be allowed to lead to military conflict. 

But the warmongers will continue to beat their drums until the tide of opinion is so overwhelming that it cannot be ignored. 

We hoped for that in 1998. Hoped for it in 2003. Hoped again and again. As situations in the most powerful Western countries deteriorate maybe we are edging nearer that change. Perhaps the world is waking up.

What are some things that help me feel calm and relaxed?

Meditation seems to help a little though I’m never quite relaxed when actually doing it. Perhaps the accumulation and habit is part of this process. Exercise helps too. I still don’t use my body enough but I’m slowly getting there.

Medication has ironed out my wavering emotions and I’m comfortable with that. 

I took this picture because crazy Tangmo ran beside me as I rode my push bike all the way to Utopia. Crazy dog. He was scared when I sat down because he wasn’t sure where he was. He couldn’t come in and if I came in he would’ve scratched at the door so there was nothing to do except ride him back home and come back for coffee on the motorbike as it was hot and sunny by then.

23 thoughts on “I Know What You’re Thinking – 23rd July 2023”

  1. For “I Know What You’re Thinking”…..LOVE the photo. I especially like the second stanza and these lines
    “Moving at speed whilst quietly sitting still
    The dust of the morning on your mind”
    are particularly interesting to me. The contrast of moving and quietly sitting still in the one line…..and then the idea of dust from a morning. I think you’ve captured the feeling of riding on a train….that lulling feeling from the rhythm of the train….moving while still.

    I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for posting to OLN!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Re: I Know What You’re Thinking

    ‘I mean you’re seeing the things I see
    Reflected in all the places that I’ve been’

    This took me right inside his head. Lovely ‘moving’ poetry.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Shaun, this poem would make a great song. The opening lines are the perfect hook, and I love these lines:

    ‘Moving at speed whilst quietly sitting still
    The dust of the morning on your mind’.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. “The future is heading right toward us
    As we must navigate these ports”

    I like this (though you are conflicted about it you said in a comment). I think we are already having to navigate the looming future

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. It was the last line of the previous stanza that had me conflicted. We have no choice but to navigate the future.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙏

      Like

      Reply

  9. I enjoyed your poem, this one-sided conversation, the observations with Dieter. I wonder if people who take the same routes do see the same things / or are they different / depending on who is doing the looking out the train window. I also appreciated the notes you shared.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Before the distraction of our phones any train journey was made pleasurable by daydreaming whilst staring out of the window as the world flashed by. Thanks for reading. 🙏

      Like

      Reply

  10. I love how you have captured what might have been going on in the traveller’s mind. So many wonderful phrases. A very apt poem for the prompt. But we at dVerse encourage poets to write a fresh/new poem for our prompts. For OLN one can post a previously published poem. Just thought I would let you know. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Let me know your thoughts