“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
This constant need for certainty
Is the greatest disease you may face
Creative power comes from negative capability
Mysteries are to endure and even embrace
Paraphrased, but almost word for word, Robert Greene talking about Keats.
The need for certainty is the greatest disease the mind faces.
Robert Greene
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Art to go book shopping in Chiang Mai for me and get me five music-related books. I’ll keep them at Utopia.
24th Mar 2023 – I seem to remember enjoying going for walks with Bruno, getting all dusty yet invigorated. These polluted days are not the best though. Come on rainy season! Getting Covid in July really set me back with walking and exercise though.
We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of ignorance.
John Archibald Wheeler
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my old tired body, still growing and learning new things.
Grass still green, succoured by recent rain
Sprouting from the dusty clay
Freshly unfurled frangipanis
Bursting brilliant, reflecting sunlight under your chin
The silent hills, jungle-covered green and khaki
Teems with little lives unseen
Sun smothers, bleaching the air white
The living and the inanimate
Thirsting for the next sunset
In the starlit night
Your body wears a shirt of humid air
Breathe deep the day gone
As fireflies pulsating dance
Attracts the eyes of confused dogs
Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalising animal.
Robert Heinlein
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that we finally got some rain overnight. Temperature is better and my garden can enjoy the water.
Inspired by the ‘Everything Is Alive‘ podcast. Won’t someone please think of the cola!?
Unlucky is the man who is born with great expectations and who finds nothing in life quite up to the mark.
John Burroughts
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s mum who cares and does little bits and pieces around the garden.
We remember you in your brief outing
Though not so many kind words were spoke
But your existence did give others context
As we remember the words of this dead joke
Inspired by the story of a stool, Adam, on which sit comedians in a comedy club. The stool ponders the death of a joke onstage. From the fun ‘Everything Is Alive‘ podcast.
If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, and that is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are.
Baron de Montesquieu
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that the strawberry sellers were still there yesterday. I got two big bags for 40 baht.
A crazy bird is crying
Looking for a mate
Lizards discuss the rain
Three cats carefully sniff the cactus
Before settling to sleep again
Ant armies on an unknown mission
Disappear into the cracks
Dogs roll around uncontrollably
As if scratching an impossible itch
In the middle of their backs
Midges, gnats, flies, wasps
Bees and hornets too
Doing battle for the tastiest meal
Pollen descends to rest on my stomach
As I swing back and forth
Hoping for a breeze to feel
Slung between two tall trees
I’m hung on this piece of cloth
I am the outsider, here as observer
And today, it’s enough
It’s human; we all put self interest first.
Euripedes
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch the AFL games again this year. The sport is still played and technology allows me to watch it.
Perhaps if you know you are insane then you are not insane.
Baynes, The Man In The High Castle by Philip K Dick
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful Cap and Kim are both in reasonable health after having blood tests today.
A nice, deep sleep until around 6am, my weekday wake-up time, and Tigger started talking until he threw up a hareball.
Got a little extra sleep in before my alarm at 7:20, but had the weekend lethargy and skipped any workout, which all the cats were happy about.
After Utopia coffees, I packed up Cap and Kim, who both cried all the way to the vet, where they were given clean(ish) bills of health. Cap has to go back in six months, just to check one thing, just in case it becomes a bigger problem.
I met Swiss Kevin at the vet, who was bringing his dog in for a haircut. A lovely, long-haired, husky mix, a big-sized youngster with lots of energy and personality.
Happy just to be puttering about at home the rest of the day, thinking I’ll get up at 7:20 tomorrow, and instead of any workout, I’ll just get to cutting the rest of the grass after feeding the cats, and before it gets too hot.
Then I’ll shower and coffee before coming back to watch the Swans’ first game of the new season, watching on replay, and hoping I can avoid finding out the score before that.
The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, we must think anew and act anew.
Abraham Lincoln
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have the tools and equipment to do a little bit of gardening myself and cutting and sweeping yesterday made for a good achievement.
Clocked in and straight to 22 Grams this morning, where it’s still cool enough to sit outside. It was actually a cool night, though, that yet again promised rain never arrived.
As it was cloudy yesterday afternoon, I took the opportunity to cut back the long grass on our outside road, and earn myself a blister sweeping it up. At the end, it felt like a job well done, even if it wasn’t exactly the most beautiful cut job.
I’m trying out different exercises in the morning, and feeling quite rejuvenated by them. I want to try and force myself to stay in the same routine through the holiday, as it improves my health and energy levels immensely.
Contemplating what to do today, it seems like I can just go home again, but I don’t really want to yet. I feel like I should take advantage of this time in some way. I thought about riding up to Mae Sai, just for something to do. Up to Pa Hee and Pa Mee, maybe. Still want to do Doi Mai Salong, too.
Talking of things I want to do, I went to go and get a massage yesterday, finally, but it was all shuttered up. I may drive by again this morning, though somehow not quite mentally prepared for doing it today.
17th Mar 2023 – Self-control has been my battle and whilst I consider I may have mastered it to some degree now, I must be wary because there is very little challenging me at the moment. When the challenge comes again, I must be ready.
Because I have a little knowledge, some are filled with jealousy, others think me secretive and crazy.
Euripedes, from Medea
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to chat with Jess yesterday. I thought it was just five minutes but was 30! I realise I haven’t really talked to her for over a year.
Same routine as yesterday morning. I am here at 22 Grams again after a first coffee at House and a few minutes showing my face at school.
The air is fresh this morning, though you can feel the humidity closing in. I’ll sit here outside, taking in the delicious scents, until I can’t bear it any longer, and I’m driven towards aircon. I’m also mentally prepared to go and get a massage, finally. But let’s see. I’m not there yet.
After talking with Amy for a while, Jess also called me, and we chatted for a swift thirty minutes. She said I’m a good husband for being ok for Amy to stay in Australia. It just feels normal to me. It would be very arrogant to make Amy stay in Thailand and be unhappy. We have to think that we have lots of time, and this is not forever. Even if we don’t have lots of time, and who knows, it could end up forever.
It was good to talk with her, and hear a different take on things, though we all (me, Jess, Amy) think quite similarly.
I did a bit of weeding before it got dark. Can’t help myself.
For dinner, I ate a bowl of strawberries, with ruamitr ice cream, chocolate, and crunchy muesli. It’s so delicious that I want a second bowl, but also about 30 minutes after eating, I felt a little sick in the stomach.
I had some sleep to catch up on too, and it was deep and long, with no nightmares, just a couple of interruptions of our cats coming and going. Feeling good after a shoulder mobility stretch workout this morning.
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
Jimi Hendrix
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to pick a bagful of mulberries to take to school to share.
With nothing to do at school and some residual guilt about being at home, I started to feel a little lonely and depressed, so I got up and started watering the garden early, and then came back in and did some exercise, which did the trick, so I think I will try and incorporate some exercise during the day, and some wind down before bed. This should help me maintain my weight better, too.
It was supposed to rain last night, but everything was still dry when I got up. I feel pretty good today, despite having another day of nothing again. I’ll probably get home before 11am.
I brought in a bag of mulberries for everyone and chatted with the teachers for a while before they all disappeared off to a meeting.
I just remembered that I didn’t sleep well last night because I had another nightmare, brought on because of talking with Hayden about nightmares and writing about it here yesterday. Yesterday, I had a fleeting thought of us all having a little devil within us, brought up by a piece written in Philosophy and The Wire, about Nietzsche. In the dream, something unknown was doing horrible things to scare and hurt me and my friends until we became the people doing the hurting and scaring to others! I woke up at one point, actually trying to kick someone away from me!
1994ever 