Wise to decline an invitation from a madman
Such an inviting call may make happy a sad man
Because tonight they may take you astray
As become the eyeball in the ashtray
Peering and fearing and hearing and leering
I see you quietly watching, but I, in a flash
Think for you too quickly and I flick my ash
Rabbits don’t cry the scientist moans
Scientists don’t cry the rabbit moans
‘Excuse me, I think I’ve got something in my eye’
I hope it’s shampoo and I hope you die
Month: July 1984
The Week That Was – 30th July 1984
30th July 1984
Went to Wimborne. Me and Jim pissed around for a while. All had a pizza. Bern’s sister got caught smoking by her mother.
31st July 1984
Pissed off. Had a pizza in town. Got bored around town. Went to James’s, watched the Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle.
1st August 1984
Even more pissed off. Had a laugh in Gaunt’s tonight.
5th Oct 2023 – Whatever it was that was pissing me off put an end to writing my diary for a few weeks. It’s hilarious that the entry above pivots from ‘pissed off’ to ‘had a laugh’. The life of a teenager.
It Hurts – 29th July 1984
It hurts to speak
It hurts to sniff
It hurts to eat
It hurts so much and I can’t figure out why
I think the world is ending, my oh my
What’s wrong? says an observer of pain
I think it’s my brain I say again
But I haven’t said it before
Oh It hurts
Elephants – 28th July 1984
The dead are lying on your doorstep
The TV reminds you never to forget
The crucifix hangs on your wall
While civilians hang in an age-old war
A forgotten war
El Salvador
Lords And Masters – 25th July 1984
Our earth shattered and torn
Ripping apart the dreams of the unborn
Cherishing those delivered by a lord
Who left a master alone to get bored
Pulling the plug to release a love never to see
And never to be seen again by you and me
His own love left a disease to plunder and rape
A disease which you and I will never escape
Instilled the fear with a battering push and pull
Corrupting my heart which was full
Of a love never felt before
Terrorised and turned into a cancerous sore
Now we walk this road alone with what is left of our love
I cannot see the heavens promised from above
Follow me down this road of hate
There we will eventually find our peace and resting place
And leave those too overcome with greed
To die how they never dreamed
Together we can find true harmony
And now is the time to start searching
Peace. Freedom. Love.
31st Aug 2024 – I have a note next to the title that just says ‘Weird?’ meaning that the music for this shouldn’t be weird and as I’m writing it out here I can imagine that I was inspired by Crass’ ‘Penis Envy’ album.
Lights – 24th July 1984
I can see a light
Moving further away
Mainly is a dark
That clouds the light of day
I reach out and grasp
But find nothing to hold
So I sit back and shut my door
And do as I’ve been told
That light fades into oblivion
As I march the parade ground
Life has little reward
For the weak
No thoughts, no sound
*The Week That Was – 23rd July 1984
23rd July 1984
Got up. Found out there was another accident last night at Horseshoes. Went to Wimborne. Met a few people. Went to Careers. Told me about a YTS at Holmans. Came back. Went down track. Crabby, Scott and Burt camped in Crabby’s garden. Went to Houldey’s. Dandy wasn’t there. Came back. Read book til 1 o’clock and then went to sleep.
24th July 1984
Got up. Mum took me to Wimborne. Went to Holmans. Asked about their scheme. Could be a chance of working there. Saw Bernice’s sister. Jim doesn’t want to go out with Bernice anymore. Came back. Had tea. Went down track. Went to Bernice’s. Was teaching her how to ride a moped around the car park. Walked around town. Came back. Met Shirl, Paddy etc
25th July 1984
Got up at 11. Watched telly. Played records. Went for a pizza with Fog and Bernice.
26th July 1984
Went for a pizza. Jim’s going out with Bernice again.
27th July 1984
Got pissed tonight at the Horns. Went to Wimborne. Pissed about down there. Can’t remember anything else. Went for pizza with Fog, Bern.
28th July 1984
Didn’t go to Bournemouth to the squat. Got some booze instead. Came home. Got drunk. Went back to Wimborne. Went to Horns. Had a pint. Got some booze. Jim came over and we got drunk.
29th July 1984
Woke up. Went to Wimborne. Got some more money. Me and Jim got pissed again tonight.
*Subhumans, Self Abuse, Atrox, Mad Are Sane – Continental Cinema, Winton – 22nd July 1984
The End Is At Hand – 21st July 1984
The end is at hand – it’s the new demand
The end is at hand – destroy the land
The end is at hand – machines all unmanned
The end is at hand – everything is banned
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
The end is at hand
We’re finished………
17th June 2023 – Certainly inspired by Flux of Pink Indians somehow. I can hear their first album when I read this.
Slowly Dying – 20th July 1984
Can’t you hear the people crying?
Slowly dying, slowly dying
Can’t you hear some people laughing?
Never crying, never crying
Rich for the rich
Poor for the poor
We don’t want your life no more
1994ever 