Poems on this day – 22nd September 1988

I Hate The Kids

I hate the kids, they don’t rule
Fuckin’ kids should be kept at school
Make it my decision when they should leave
Make the kids have to believe
That the world is wrong and I am right
That you have to put up a fight
And when you’re doing something for yourself
Make sure it’s helping someone else

Let Me Down

Don’t you ever let me down
I’m sure I would fall apart
Don’t ever leave me now
Because you would break my heart


You know those days
Everything seems to go wrong
The world turns upside down
And you don’t seem to belong

Poems on this day – 19th September 1988

Noisy Bastard Car

Twin carburettor, chocking fumes
Leather seats and furry wheel
Noisy bastard car consumes
More than you can see or feel
Jeez, I’m exhausted
Where’s my money gone?
Now my go-faster stripes
Have come undone

I Had A Feeling

I had a feeling I was on fire
I had a feeling I was burning alive
I wanted someone to put me out
To have a feeling I could survive

Harold Is A Wanker

Harold Bishop is a wanker
Herman Munster is a dick
Bergerac just isn’t funny
Blue Peter just makes me sick
Harold Bishop, we blame you
Cos we know you’ll take the blame
Why bother to watch another episode
When it really is just the same.

Poems on this day – 18th September 1988

Baby Imitation Doll

Baby’s imitation call
On the electoral roll
Sign on the dotted line
Buy me Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
Intimate imitation
Double sister trouble
Imitate automation
Single silver bubble

One Thing Leads To A Mother

Pleasant evening in the company of a friend
Something’s going to start and it may not end
Because when you lay me on the bed
One thing just enters into my head
And mother told me
One thing leads to another
And daddy told you
Be careful with your lover

Ice Cream Mind

Vanilla manilla
Banana Dalai Lama
Artificial insemination
Ice cream mind invasion
My brains have turned into mint choc chip
In a sea of Rum and Raison I sail my ship

Bank Raid

Bank raid air shelter
Johnny said Beta Delta
Gamma ray lucky number
Odds-on could be longer
Flying start car crash
Should be going splish splash
Chances are it can’t be made
Chances are it can’t be made
Chances are it can’t be made
Bank raid

Don’t Watch Your TV Tonight

Tonight there’s a monster on your TV
Ready to jump through the screen
Spewing forth language so obscene
So don’t watch your TV tonight
They said it was reality
But it looked like insanity
A monstrous thing it had become
I wouldn’t want my daughter to marry one

Clever Rob

Clever Rob was well to do
Had been to all the right schools
Should be wed to the best
Cos he was better than the rest
Picked a girl so sweet
Picked her up off her feet
Picked on cos she was weak
Clever Rob doesn’t have to cheat

Poems on this day – 5th September 1988

Park Bench

Do you remember those drunken nights?
Had to break up your friends having fights
Shaking hands after and sharing another beer
Waiting for your girlfriends to appear
In the summer of ’87
You found what seemed and ideal heaven
When you look back you can feel sad
But remember all the good times you had

Religious Experience

Do I need your belief
To make me a good man?
Can I have your opinion
Just like your followers can?
Don’t give me blatant untruths
You cannot force something like faith
It should come from within yourself
A religious experience on my own terms
Not the ideas of someone else
From experience one learns


Green in a greeny sort of way
Very tempting or so some might say
Funny how it came about
Just came from inside out