Reaching The End Of The Internet – 31st October 2022

October 31, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We all live in a trivia submarine
Deeper into holes full of rabbits
From the Can I Haz Cheeseburger? meme
To fountains and mountains of shitty reddits
Diving through dark webs of extreme
Impossible to break these sad habits
Nothing is said but it may seem
As if everyone has already said it

That is what everyone’s work should be – a confession, a baring of your soul, your faults, those things you simply cannot or will not understand or accept. You stumble forward, confused, and you share. If you’re lucky, you learn something.
Arthur Miller

Today I’m feeling:
Half motivated half exhausted.
Today I’m grateful for:
There being little to do at school today so I spent some time drinking coffee and updating my blog. Time flew by and I could’ve stayed for longer but ended up coming home. It’s been more than a month since I spent a whole day at school!
The best thing about today was:
Riding my bike up to the post office and sending a package to Hayden with the printout from my 1979 blog entries. Picking up some fried rice on the way back and enjoying a laid-back afternoon reading, watching YouTube and playing the guitar.
What challenged you today?
Forcing myself to follow the mantra I wrote yesterday, to not be lazy and to do my best usual five minutes exercise. Then to not push myself further and go too hard too quickly. I have to remember that I built up to the stamina I had before and can’t just go straight back into it. With Amy coming soon I need to get this can’t rolling again.

I took this picture because these little cartoons caught my attention as I was reading some blog and I think I can use them with my students in some way.

Ease To Pain – 30th October 2022

October 30, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Driving away from this town called ease
I was wasting time to do as I please
Try to fill my brain with new things to do
Remembering that I’m just passing through
Clearer heads appear under different skies
Walking away from that old disguise
From ease to pain will soon turn again
The town will remain, just the same

What a boy had set out to seek, a man had found, found by the act of living.
Mervyn Peake, from Titus Alone

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
The ladies at the tattoo shop who did a great job with my tattoo. They were fast, professional and surprisingly cheap.
The best thing about today was:
Walking around with a new tattoo. It gives a vague boost of confidence, like, this is me today, it is more than me yesterday.
Write a personal mantra or affirmation for next year.
Don’t be lazy.

I took this picture because this represents pretty much the only thing I did today different to 99.9% of other days!

The Reveal – 29th October 2022

October 29, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Let the sunshine in
But don’t let it burn your eyes
Sometimes you’ve got to win
For time to reveal the prize
This puzzle piece
Is much smaller than it may feel
Take a deep breath
Let time spice the reveal

One must always maintain one’s connection to the past and yet ceaselessly pull away from it.
Gaston Bachelard

Today I’m feeling:
Satisfied though a little rundown.
Today I’m grateful for:
My resolve to actually sit and play guitar even though I had been telling myself that I didn’t want to after not really enjoying it for the last couple of days. I ended up playing for about 50 minutes and felt good afterwards.
The best thing about today was:
Finally doing the vacuuming around the whole house and enjoying the result. I can let things get a little dusty and dirty but there’s a point where it’s just too much and has to be done. I don’t have the same resolve to mop the floors though!
If your house was on fire and your family were safe, what would you grab?
I think I’d grab things like diaries, writing, and photos. Things which aren’t replaceable. Most everything else can be replaced or reconsidered whether it was actually needed. When I was younger I would have tried to protect all my records, or maybe my favourites. Since they are mostly all gone now since twice moving countries the fact that I once owned them still carries meaning. I sold all my comics before moving to Australia and then bought many many more in Australia and finally sold all those again before moving to Thailand. Digitisation of all these things at least makes them easily available without having to physically own them. This is slightly saddening to me but I can understand it too. The kids growing up now are hopefully being overawed by things I’m too old to understand.

I took this picture because this weird tree that Jessica’s auntie gave us a few years ago is starting to flower. I should try to find out more about this tree. It’s certainly doing very well.

Tattooed – 28th October 2022

October 28, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

*What is the purpose of my body
If not as an expression of my pain?*
I can feel the relief of new violence
As I plan to get tattooed again

*quoting Tarzan Kay

As soon as want and illusion come to a standstill, the utter barreness and emptiness of existence becomes apparent.
paraphrase Schopenhauer

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
A practice run of going back to school. I didn’t think we’d have much to do today so wasn’t surprised when I found there was no one around. I could’ve just gone straight home but went to House for coffee and then Oasis for food and got back around eleven. Next week though and it will all become too real again!
The best thing about today was:
Finishing Titus Alone so I can prepare to pack the trilogy up and post back to Sharon, who incidentally wrote me a happy birthday email today too.
How curious are you?
Generally, I’m pretty curious about things though I’m conscious that may be decreasing as I get older and my mind atrophies or that I already know it all. Having been endlessly curious in the early 2000s perhaps my experiences since then make me feel like I know enough. More general knowledge can be applied across many topics and I can be less curious about the details.

I took this picture because this highly symbolic picture is me eating my own head. It was the best part of the cake.

Spread The Word – 27th October 2022

October 27, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A rusty soul needs constant scrubbing
Lifting hands up towards the sun
Don’t turn around a-snubbing
For a journey just begun
Spread the word when required
Now’s the time to teach
Everyone needs to be inspired
For the heights to which we reach

We are drowning in information, while starving for wisdom.
E.O. Wilson

Today I’m feeling:
Dizzy and tired. Maybe getting the flu…
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s mum and dad for paying for my birthday lunch today. I was ravenous and enjoyed a bowl of nachos. Simple but effective.
The best thing about today was:
Contacting a local tattoo shop and planning some Cardiacs related tattoos. I’ve seen the work from the studio on Art and Boss at Utopia and it’s pretty good.
If you can pick any job in the world, what would it be?
I’d be interested in almost any job so long as there was no pressure. Imagine any job and being given a six-month training period with no expectations and imagine this was for any job. People could just keep trying what they wanted and be able to find the best thing for them at that time. I’d learn about plants and growing or be some kind of operator at CERN. Maybe a train driver, car dealer or painter. Any job where you can feel respected and worthwhile would be good.

I took this picture because this is the birthday cake Amy got made for me for today! It looks great and dad made a joke about cutting through the neck.

Pie Time – 26th October 2022

October 26, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Savour the crumbs of the pie
Scraps picked from the floor
Be sure to breed and multiply
The cogs must turn some more
Money is power is oil is gold
Not for some to touch
And so the story has been told
From parent to child as such
Oil is power is money is gold
Only for some to touch
And so the lie has been sold
There’s already too much
So savour those crumbs of pie
Get back to the factory floor
Sons step in as fathers die
And so remains the score

Leaving this will be easier than living it.
Charles Bukowski

Today I’m feeling:
am: happy and relaxed – pm: tired and subdued
Today I’m grateful for:
My hair bleach to make me feel younger, at least when I look in the mirror. I’m still mixing up old congealed powder that I bought years ago and too thrifty to throw out. It’s not perfect but it still does the job.
The best thing about today was:
Crossing a few little bits and pieces off the to-do list. I have a few more that I have to remember for tomorrow too including picking up a cake for my birthday that Amy has arranged for me. Thank you my lovely little Amy.
What jobs do you do in life that you don’t get paid for?
Thinking in reverse, I do one job of teaching that I do get paid for and I don’t get paid for anything else so it comes down to what might be considered a job. I have a hobby promoting musicians and their music that does have minimal income but I don’t consider it as getting paid and loses more money than it gains. I don’t have any philanthropic jobs. I do work at things but none of them are jobs.

I took this picture because Kim Chi is enjoying sitting on the toilet mat and doesn’t move out of the way when I want to go. This is what I look down at!

No Name – 25th October 2022

October 25, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s hard to let go
Difficult to say
We don’t know
And have a nice day
With no new idea
Aliens are blamed
We live in fear
Of leaving things unnamed

Where little happens and the gamut of expression is narrow, life is still full of joy and sorrow. You’re stirred by simple things happening in a quiet world.
Rockwell Kent

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and energetic
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting new tires and tubes on my pushbike. An unexpected expense but as I’ve not been driving much this month I’ve saved some money on fuel so I have enough spare.
The best thing about today was:
Splashing out for a decent meal of pesto prawns with rice and salad, followed by a banoffee drink and which all tasted delicious. I didn’t need to eat anything else today.
What are you grateful for right now?
Being able to order 50g of THC gummies on my phone. Well, why not?

I took this picture because I got the urge again to ride today. However, I don’t think I’d ridden it for a couple of years now and the inner tubes and tires had cracked and crumbled.

Sure – 24th October 2022

October 24, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Why does what you believe make you so mad?
If something else was true would it really be so bad?
So angry at the skies you take it out on the clouds
So oblivious to yourself as you fight amongst the crowds
Was it something that you lost that others took away?
Did someone take their ball so that you couldn’t play?
Divided we are conquered, that’s the way it’s been
Let’s celebrate our diversity to realise our dream

When looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now.
Joseph Campbell

Today I’m feeling:
Dozy and happy
Today I’m grateful for:
The coconut lip balm I have. I think I’m missing something in my diet that is causing me dry lips and this balm works wonders.
The best thing about today was:
The brilliant 4-hour afternoon nap I had. It was a light sleep and could feel myself enjoying it! Sounds played on my thoughts and influenced my semi-lucid state. I didn’t want it to end!
If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?
This answer would change over time. I identify a lot with Dostoevsky’s Underground Man but that is a me from the past. I recognise the thoughts but no longer think like that. Me, now? I don’t know. Alice? As I often contemplate the wonder in the world around me.
…I realise I’m reading the question wrong. If I could be a character…. I suppose when reading a good book or watching a great movie you become the characters in them. If I could choose though…? I’m struggling to think of an answer. I think it may pop into my head when I come across it in the future. Perhaps I’ll return to this question then.

I took this picture because this is the valley I live in. My house is near the mountains there on the horizon to the right. Behind me are mountains on the other side of the valley, a similar distance away. Zooming in you can see three levels of mountains with smaller valleys in between, places where I’ve ridden my bike around many times. Now I’m enjoying the discovery of the big wide valley. It’s beautiful and I’m lucky and grateful and can’t believe I’ve ended up here.

Change Your Mind – 23rd October 2022

October 23, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When evidence is not compelling
Even though it’s fishy smelling
A balance is easy to find
What will it take to change your mind?
To update your view is noble
Even if it’s not seen as global
To admit you were wrongly inclined
What will it take to change your mind?

See the fruits of discipline and skill as the richest pleasures of all.
Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
am: flat – pm: happy and enthusiastic
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to fix the number plate on my bike for just 69 baht. The first shop I tried the guy just pointed down an aisle but didn’t help me at all. I couldn’t find the part I needed so went to another shop instead and the lady there went and got what I needed. She gets my money. I guess I’m also grateful that I never got stopped whilst riding around without the plate for the previous 24 hours.
The best thing about today was:
Finally sitting down to play guitar again after a couple of lazy days. I figured I’d give it ten minutes but ended playing for an hour and a half. Currently reading the Clash bio and hearing about how quickly they became skilled has motivated me a bit more.
Take a selfie.
Not a selfie type.

This is from yesterday. I took this picture because this was the destination that I marked on my map that I almost gave up on a couple of times on the way. I want to go back and I want to keep going!

Wildfire – 22nd October 2022

October 22, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Taking hold, inspiring
Vague truths based on fear
Idle minds, enquiring
Further spread the idea
Like Chinese whispering
Messages manipulated
Open wounds blistering
New slogans, proudly stated
Moses pleads, dividing
The confusion reigns supreme
A past of deciding
Put an end to the dream
Barren earth, burning
Bushes dry for fuel
To darkness now returning
Death before the school

The law of progress holds that everything now must be better than what was there before. If you want something better, and better, and better, you lose the good. The good is no longer even being measured.
Hanna Arendt

Today I’m feeling:
Excited, thoughtful and dizzy
Today I’m grateful for:
Sunscreen. Thank you for protecting me today when it was impossible to escape the sun. Your smell does make me miss the beach though.
The best thing about today was:
My long long long ass bike ride to mountains previously unexplored. So much beauty along the way. It’s a paradise. For me, for now.
What brand best represents your values?
Hmmm…weird question. I don’t know what values brands have. Perhaps they promote themselves with having a particular value… I don’t know. What most folks identify with brands I feel no affinity with at all. To me, brands value one thing and one thing only and that is money. If their products are good then good because they fucking should be!