Bestiality is the best
Animal love, fur caressed
But my love was a coat
Poor old Bob the goat

29th Sept 1986 – My coworker Stuart was maybe 5 to 10 years older than me at the time and was always very vague about his relationships eventually resorting to the line that he had a goat called Bob as his girlfriend and hence this poem. Semi-ironically he got married a couple of years later, presumably to a woman. He used to go swimming a lot to keep fit but got out of the pool one day to find his bag had been taken from the changing rooms and everything stolen from it, including his wedding photos that he had gotten printed that day and all his clothes! He had to wait for the police to arrive in just his swimming trunks.