Permanent Scars – 12th February 1987

~ shaun tenzenmen

Scars on the flesh, wounds of the heart
Pride is damaged, as I fall apart
Confusing twists in a melodramatic play
Running circles around me day by day

Turn the next corner and it could be pain
Tears pour down like the soaking rain
I could be happy but most likely not
An analysis of everything I’ve got

Bit part actors act so unbothered
Til darkest secrets are uncovered
Watch the soaps on the TV
Look at them, they look like me

Real life comes from gut reaction actions
Two minutes ago, it was so full of passion
Two minutes later it’s so full of hurt
Crushing each other into the dirt

“I love you’, tie me down, lock me away
If I told you that, did I mean it anyway?
End of scene one, start of scene two
It’s hurting me and I’m hurting you

Carry on the game til the blood is boiling
Is it really worth all the toiling?
Hanging on to loose ends for each other’s sake
I wish I could sleep but you keep me awake

Please don’t come see me tonight
It won’t turn out to be all right
I love you but want to say goodbye
Jesus, all we ever do is cry

That’s not right, let’s stop hurting each other
It would be easier if we didn’t bother
My heart is broken and yours will break
We’re just push and pull, not give and take

18th Apr 2025 – I’m guessing this was written after my first girlfriend, Emma, confessed to sleeping with her childhood friend, who had been begging to do so since I’d met her. This was a confusing time for an idiot 19-year-old boy. We stuck it out for a little longer until she went off to college and found better things to do with herself than drink in my bedroom every weekend. Never dated a blonde since.

1st Aug 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #188 – Scars

19 thoughts on “Permanent Scars – 12th February 1987”

    1. Thanks Rosemary. I don’t think the anti-blonde idea was conscious at the time but over the years that was the way I went. I also had a beef with the Western ideal of female as big-boobed, blue eyed blondes. I ended up digging flat-chested, dark haired tom boys! Hahaha. Angst indeed!

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    1. I guess I knew, myself, that I was hurting her and the only way out for her was to hurt me back, though we were too young to be that conscious of our decisions. Thanks for reading.

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  6. Be careful. Now the Greek Gods know your horror of blue eyed blondes they will most likely send an irresistible one your way to tempt you. Their favourite fun thing is to torment mortals:)_Good tip,…eat lots of raw garlic …she’ll run a mile:)

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    1. As I’m in Thailand a blue-eyed blonde would certainly stand out here, and as everyone is everyone else’s business, there would be no way to keep something like that quiet! Anytime I randomly bump into an female student of mine, my wife has already heard about it by the time I get home! Hahaha

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