Month: August 1998

*I hope – 31st August 1998

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T: we can see each other tonight and that would make us both feel better.
had an awful dream last night. They’re still looking for people to lab assist comp prac – or a subject similar to it. They want 9-1 on fri morning’s. If i could move my marketing principles tute, i could make it 2 hours, although i will miss out 1/2 hour of IS &OD either way! DAMN! and i’m in marketing principles with all my friends and we’re doing the group assignments together (sue, tu, di, me and jeff!)

S: Hey – I feel good anyway. Don’t you? I can make you feel better (I think!). Anyway – I hope I can see you too. Meet me at the physio as soon as you can – maybe we can go get a coffee somewhere? Sorry about your dream (Can I make it better?)
Cheer up Miss Blue – I’ll be here for you (no expectations no demands plenty of rope)

*Burning Lotus- 30th August 1998

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S: My heart aches for you
My heart yearns for you
My heart waits for you
My heart burns for you
My love
You have it all
My love
We have it all.

S: I feel like Albinocino at Milsons Point – let’s do it one day this week. Don’t forget Weds is Patti Smith.
Love to you

S: Was a beautiful night last night. Dropped the video back to Macquarie – the air was sharp and perfumed with warmth. Was great to be alive and despite the lateness of the evening, I was revitalised. Wished to share it with you. When I got home I sat on my balcony and read some and looked out into the darkness and felt safe, warm and happy. Thanks for being part of that (part of me).

T: K said “cool” when i gave her the jellybabies – they’re from Jack. she says thanks, and i’ve got a kiss to give you from her! she was really pleased with the jellybabies – didn’t even care she’s already got the sticker from the last pack.
anyway, how come you snubbed me by sending the What Is Music program to Notlih – behind my back? you guys do everything together now.
anyway, just had a shit time – i can’t find a partner for Distributed D/B and this guy i don’t think i could work with asked me to work with him. But i really don’t want to work with him – don’t think i’m being a bitch, but sue, di, and tu would say exactly the same thing – and the rest of BIT as well – but i really don’t think i could find another partner. so i’d
be really upset – i know you think i’m being a bitch, so i won’t say anymore.
anyway, got in early – so read a bit more of Fear and Loathing. had a real boring morning, cheer me up please baby.
had fun last night – thanks for everything. couldn’t have fun without you!
love ya babe, tlj

S: Hey babe. Just bin for a walk – not feeling 100% today. I saw Di was online last night but didn’t talk to her – hope she thinks you’re still OK. Do you think she was crying because of her and Trin (i hope it wasn’t because I knew). I hope you guys go OK today anyway.
I’m waiting for that kiss from K. I’ll send the program later – not sure if I still have a copy (did ANdrew forward it to you anyway?) I don’t think you’re being a bitch – why not just ask Chris – he’d drop any other partner to work with you I’m sure! Hope your morning is improving (din’t my mails cheer you up some?). Gotta get a bird feeder soon – i wanna clean up my balcony cos it was just beautiful out there last night.
Speak to me soon – I had the best time last night too – let’s do it again.

*Sorry baby – 28th August 1998

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I’m sorry things didn’t go as you planned this lunchtime. It sure was great to see you though. You know I just thought that I can read the rest of my diary into the computer with that speech recog program. Will take a while though – may be able to write some other stuff this way too…

Just had the coconut drink I bought a while back – it was awesome. A taste sensation! Can’t get over how beautiful you are. You shine like a diamond for me sweety. All my love

*Party party – 26th August 1998

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S: Sweety, can you give me Ren’s number sometime so she can come over and have a look at this video equipment. When do you think I might get to meet Tom again too. He was gonna lend me Grateful Dead. Hope yr having a beautiful day. It would be much sweeter if you were here.

T: so you’re going to call her – or me? i’m sure she’ll wonder if you call her – and all my friends already think you’re a weirdo for mailing/icquing/ringing them out of the blue. you leave my friends out of this. joking babe.
good sleepy-pies to you, love and kisses, your fan Tracky-Dacks

S: You gonna explain about Saturday to me? I’ll call you anytime sweetheart. Do you think she will think it strange that I call her – do you wanna speak to her first? Have you spoken to Di – I haven’t heard from her since (whenever it was).
Oh, I’m still a weirdo I suppose. Look’s like the lab job may not happen – Damn.
Pash me baby

T: I’m really sorry about the lab job – truly. keep a look out though, cause i’m sure something will come up.
sorry babe, hope i can make you feel better – and i really do love you – 200% truthful.

S: It may still happen it’s just that Joe thinks they may be forced to take on two particular people – but it’s possible they may not want to take the job. We’ll have to wait and see. Something will come up – just gotta think positive. How’s Nat today? You do make me feel better – always. thanks

S: My masseur said she went to see that guitarist you went to see (I can’t remember his name – gregorian or something) She said she couldn’t enjoy it because he was trying too hard and didn’t look like he was enjoying himself – not until the encore did he relax.
Come massage me babe. I’m missing your tender hands.

T: i don’t know how hard it would be to relax playing as fast and as hard as he did – but i suppose a masseur would really notice those things. mail me babe, tlj

S: It was probably more that she couldn’t relax because she could feel that he wasn’t enjoying it because he had to work so hard? I’m missing you loads sweety. You still haven’t told me what’s happening Saturday. Are you going to Marty’s or to the girls? Explain me please – you gorgeous young filly!!!
We gotta catch up soon I’m dying for a hug!

*How was your night? – 21st August 1998

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T: email me baby.

S: OK

T: i miss you.

S: When does your lecture start? You get all yr work done?

T: want to spend some time with you on the weekend – maybe go for a drive or picnic if it’s sunny,

S: Sounds good. let’s do it. Let’s go to the art gallery…

T: but i just remembered that i’m working on the next development task, and will probably be flat out.

S: Oh well. We got plenty of time ahead of us….

T: damn, hung out the clothes this morning and now it’s starting to get cold and rain! and i’ve only got a jumper and t-shirt on!

S: You need a cuddle? Come and get it.
Missing you too. Something I hoped to achieve at work today didn’t work. Damn. Shitting me.
Love ya too babes

T: i didn’t want to wake up this morning (apart from being tired)

S: Me too – I had to catch the train – i hate that.

T: because I was having a vivid and bizarre dream about andrew (from school).

S: why you no dreaming bout me….?

T: cause andrew’s cuter!

S: bbbllllleeeeeeeeuuuuuauuaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! Me cuter!

T: He was cheating on his girlfriend with Aren!. ANd his girlfriend was this blond chick.

S: I think you got a thing about blonde chicks. I don’t.

T: no, i’ve got a thing about blonde himbos.

S: I’m dying my hair and going to the Gym.

T: Check out some of the lyrics to “summertime” “Romantic piscean seeks angel in disguise, Chinese speaking girlfriend
with big brown eyes”. Pretty cool huh?

S: Me like

T: but i don’t speak chinese, and i don’t have big brown eyes – so which chinese speaking girlfriend with big brown eyes are you talking about.

S: You are more beautiful than the most beautiful things in the world. You are the One!

T: also babe, i’m really sorry, but i may be busy saturday. Marty is having a party saturday night, and sue, di and tu want to get together for a girlie, movie night (not girlie-movie night!)

S: Well, that gives us all afternoon. I don’t unnerstand – Marty is having a party so you’re going somewhere else? I’ll come too – I’ll put on my skirt and lippie and pretend OK. Where’s it at?

T: and they want to watch some chick flicks – damn! exactly what is a chick flick? give me an example.

S: Beats me. Maybe Clueless or Sleepless in Seattle – shit I don’t know. Wanna take a copy of Apocalypse Now!

T: catch ya babe.

S: You better… And wish yr Dad a happy birthday.

T: he says thanks – he wants you to stop seeing his daughter as a b’day present. how bout it?

S: You heard him wrong – he knows what a great guy I am and asked me to marry you for his birthday. So how bout it. Seriously – do YOU want to stop me seeing you (sounds like it?) Don’t break my heart babe – I’m too far gone.

T: i just finished typing up the timesheets (but i haven’t got all of them from them laxzy fuckers!)

S: Kick butt sweety

T: yeah, yours

S: Like to see it. You can whip it anytime.

T: and printed out the minutes (huge waste of paper – i’m feeling guilty over it) and now i have to go meet the
data systems design people – damn. how come your mail comes with the header from your .csc.com.au account? just wondering.

S: Our Notes internet mail goes through that gateway now. CSC owns it now instead of Connect.

T: “well it’s you and me in the summertime, we’ll be hand and hand down in the park” can’t wait for summer, tlj

S: You’re driving me nuts – I can’t wait either. You better make plenty of time for me (cos I’m a demanding sonova…)

T: Is that because of the insanely fast way i think and converse, and you can’t keep up with me? or what?

S: No it’s cos of yr gorgeous body. All my lovely love
PS My night was cool – I fell straight to sleep (after dreaming bout you)

T: thanks babe, tlj

S: Do you love me?

*Sunshine – 20th August 1998

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S: Sweetheart. Sorry I couldn’t talk earlier – too many people around. I’m real tired too. Gotta clean out my car tonight – first time for everything. I feel good for not drinking you know! Still feel like a Gin and Tonic though. Miss you – love ya baby.
Shauny

T: i’m in at uni already – i should work more on the report, but i’m not really sure what they want. Anyway, about my dream. I think we were at sean’s place with lisa and craig and this other couple and one more guy.
Anyway, we were just sitting around talking but i think i had to go somewhere. You kept kissing me and i felt a bit uncomfortable about that. Anway, when i came back i invited everyone to your place for your birthday and said we could have cheese rolls and salad – and whatever else you vegetarians eat! but i’m not really sure if your friends wanted to come, so i was a bit embarassed after that. what do you think it means?

S: This simply means you love me and want my children – which is understandable of course. You always get some food into your dreams, don’t you?

T: on my wallpaper now, i have a beautiful picture of jeff buckley. It says
“Jeff Buckley – A heart full of Music A soul filled with Grace. We will miss you”. A bit corny maybe, but a beautiful sentiment.

S: What – no picture of me? I have some scanned pictures of me – should I send them to you – you can view jpegs right? I can’t find my photos of us together – I wanna get a picture of you and play with it! Bring me some photos will you (oh, I just remembered where they are!)

T: Anyway, i don’t know if our data systems design is right – i found some mistakes last night but was too tired to think. Anyway, may get back to it.

S: You’re one smart cookie – hope you can fix it up. How are the other groups going?

T :Are you still going for a massage? tell me about your day – hope it’s good.

S: Really want a massage so I’m gonna hafta borrow some cash off my mum and pqay it back when I get paid. the day’s OK – but my wrists are sore and my neck is sore and my feet smell. If you wanna meet me at the physio tonight I can drop you home. Otherwise I’ll call you later tonight – don’t forget South Park. Hope your day is good too sweety. Man the summer sun sure is inspiring.

T: Love you babe, tlj

S: You too angel
“If you found everyone responsible, and hung them from the highest trees – would you have enough trees?”

T: would love to meet you at the physio now i know where it is. anyway, don’t think i’d like you “playing” with photos of me, so no – i won’t show you any.

S: Yeah, but now I remember where the photos are that I have already – expect a physically altered tracca soon! I could make you look beautiful! (how could you be more beautiful..?)

T: If it’s going to be too hard to meet me, don’t bother.

S: It’s easy for me cos I’ll be laid down getting treatment – it’s only if it’s easy for you.

T: Otherwise, give me a time and a place.

S: Right here – right now baby!

T: went to john colville to get a reference from comp prac, but i never see him around and it’s so late in the semester.

S: Keep hassling – mail him – do whatever…

T: mail me please.

S: I’ll think about it.

T: 5:45 – 6pm at the physio? meet you there – that ok with you?

S: Yes – meet me there.

T: getting a bit of a headache.

S: Want me to rub yr temples?

T: dad gave me $50 to get the rest of my textbooks, but i gave it back cause i didn’t want to carry it around. now i’m afraid he’ll gamble it all.

S: Bye bye fifty dollars…

T: anyway, we’re not celebrating dad’s birthday this friday or wednesday, or ever i suppose, because he wants to go the casino on Friday with his friends and relos etc. anyway, what are you planning?

S: Seeing you of course!!

T: maybe i could see you if we’re both free.

S: Yeah sure – we have to do something that doesn’t cost too much though – sorry – I gotta look after the pennies for a little while. so we can have a big summer together!)

T: was speaking to caroline and mel about the project. caroline’s boyfriend only gets to see her on the weekend just about, so he’s pretty sick of her working on the weekends. I told them i wanted to go to the art gallery with my friend because he wanted to see the japanese art exhibition. i’ll see if i can get out next weekend, but i might be having a violin lesson (i didn’t have one saturday, since he was bogged down in ballarat) and i think it’s father’s day on sunday – i’m not sure though. but maybe you should go if I’m busy.

S: No no – we go together!!!

T: how are you celebrating father’s day baby?

S: With you?

T: thanks for going shopping with me yesterday. You made me feel good about buying the dress.

S: It was fun. You looked beautiful in the dress – let me tell you.

T: see ya maybe this afternoon? tlj

S: Absorutery, Shaun

*Plebs – 19th August 1998

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S: I hope you have fun tonight with the suited plebs tonight. Put on yr glasses – the suits will probably think you are more intelligent (even though you’re a grade a student anyway but they won’t know that will they) Be strong and assertive and say ‘I WANT A JOB PLEASE!’. Remember it’s all about bullshit!
Your biggest fan, no. 1 lover

T:
Invitation:
What: Party at my place
Where: xx Murray St Berala
When: 7:00pm 21st August
Other: Feel free to bring significant others etc
How Much: As much as you want to contribute to the alcohol fund

T: so, are you my significant other?

S: YES, VERY MUCH SO…

T: and are you coming?

S: I DON’T THINK YOU WANT ME TOO, DO YOU? WILL IT BE A PROBLEM? DO YOU WANT TO GO? YOU DIDN’T SEEM THAT KEEN YESTERDAY? WILL THERE BE ANYONE ELSE I KNOW OR HAVE MET PREVIOUSLY?

T: please take down the details in case i lose them?

S: OK.

T: where are we meeting tonight and when?

S:I GUESS IT WOULD BE EASIER IF YOU CAME TO CHATSWOOD – I’VE GOT TO GO THE PHYSIO – I’LL PROBABLY BE THERE TIL SIX. WE COULD GO TO THE PARTY STRAIGHT AFTER IF YOU WANNA CHECK IT OUT. I’M OFF THE GROG THOUGH. IF YOU WANNA STAY THAT’S COOL – IF IT GETS TOO MUCH FOR ME MAYBE I COULD GO AND PICK YOU UP LATER OR WE COULD DO SOMETHING ELSE OR ANYTHING REALLY! I’M THINKING OF AFTER COMING TO WORK TOMORROW GOING INTO THE CITY TO TAKE THE VINYL I WANNA SELL/TRADE – OH, I JUST REMEMBERED YOU WON’T BE FREE TIL TOMORROW NIGHT….OH WELL. WE GO JIGSAW SUNDAY AM THOUGH?

T: email me with what you wanna do. ok babe?

S: OK. I WANNA SEE YOU. BABE.

S: Tongue
No this isn’t rude. I bit my tongue at Ann’s lunch. it fluffing hurtf.
Wanting
Waiting
For you
I feel a song coming on…
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*Make up – 18th August 1998

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T: with a cherry on top – I love you – truly, madly, deeply – you seen that movie? it’s pretty good.

S: Not sure – don’t think so…

T: Just finished typing in everybody’s timesheet details into a spreadsheet only i don’t know how i should set it up.
Anyway, finally remembered what i was gonna say to you after you got the milk at the corner store but forgot when you came back – i was just gonna say that when Notorious BIT (topdeq, ice-D, Futang et al) have their meeting, Sue-pergroove and hammerDogg (jeff) sit at the front because they’re the project leaders. I was just gonna say how i’d absolutely hate the project leaders actually displaying their leadership, but remembered that our project leaders do that as well (but not as obviously).

S: Power always goes to the head and initiates the search for more power and so on…

T: oh well, we’ll never make it to the top will we.

S: It depends on how you look at it. we could already be at the top (of what we want) other people just want more and go further than we have – but happiness is more important – wherever you are. Us, together, we are at the top, sweety.

T: we just have to work harder and give them all the glory.

S: Yes, this is the thing that shits us below – where we were happy the people above seek to make us unhappy to make themselves feel better – arseholes!

T: i hate project leaders as a rule. don’t become a project leader babe, cause then i’ll want a divorce.

S: There are good leaders too I’m sure. (Ok, I haven’t met one either…)

T: saw Sandie’s snow photos the other day, and all her friends. they all got on really well (except for Jackie’s friend and her boyfriend who were real tight-arse)

S: What’s the goss?

T: and are planning a summer getaway. i really want to get away with friends as well. my school friends (laura and michelle etc) wanted to go to the Hunter Valley this winter, but i guess none of us really had the time. also wanted to go to the central coast for the summer – but I forgot i might be going to Taiwan. also, everyone seems to be going their
separate ways for the summer hols

S: I think that is kinda what happens after leaving school and those close relationships kinda disperse. I hope you keep close with your friends – they are very important – I realised this myself, after losing most of my friends. I’m still kinda jealous of you you know! I wish we could go away. We have to one day all right?

T: like Thailand and stuff. actually, i’m not so sure i would want to go to Thailand anyway – not yet, cause I wouldn’t want to go with Laura and Gerard’s friends – don’t think that much of them – they’re very elitist – Laura doesn’t think much of them either. we refer to them as the ASM – Asian Supremacist Movement. ok, so it’s very immature i hear you say.

S: She must like Gerard a lot…

T: Mich rang last night. she’s going to return my Jeff Buckley video this afternoon cause i’m meeting her at markets.

S: I don’t think you ever told me about a Jeff Buckley video did you (but then you know what my memory is like)

T: only prob – i haven’t got her the rest of her b’day present yet. there’s also a free BBQ as part of union week here at the uni. so i don’t think it’ll be hard convincing the fellas doing SDD to take a lunch break (you should see the size of some of
them). Dan was saying how much Yuri likes crackling (so do i) and how Trent just eats hot dogs). anyway, it beats Bar Broadway for lunch. told Mich if she wanted Jeff Buckley dubbed, i would try. do you think you could set up your video to dub, or would that require another power socket that you don’t have?

S: Call me Chief Dubber MC Hemsley. Course I can. Just gotta find the leads and set it up.

T: had great fun with you and Hayden yesterday – he’s a real groovy babe.

S: Hey, what about me???? We both had fun with you too. Thanks for taking the time to hang out.

T: was good to see you parenting as well – that’s another side of you I haven’t seen before

S: What did you think? Am I too slack or too overbearing. I like to let him explore things and figure out for himself what is good and bad. I think it’s cool to let him run around looking at things where other folks like to keep their kids on a tight leash. Let’s face it they really can’t do much harm and it’s fun to watch them open up cupboards in Grace Brothers or pull things off shelves. Wasn’t he cute when I would say Let’s Go and he would say it too!

T: except when you father me!

S: Sorry if I was bossy with you yesterday. It’s pretty important that HJ has his routine of an afternoon sleep – you saw how tired he was.

T: are you seeing him tonight?

S: No, but I saw him asleep last night – he was cuddling Winnie the Pooh as he didn’t have pillow and snuggler. Can’t wait for him to come back.

T: send him my love.

S: I think he felt it yesterday – thanks again.

T: anyway, if you have reached the end of this email, i’m very sorry it was so long.

S: At last a long email from you…

T: i just had plenty of time to kill and nothing much to say.

S: You’re fun, you’re the best…

T: anyway, i hope this makes up for all the mails i haven’t sent and for the rest of the week.

S: Er, no it doesn’t!!

T: love to you baby, tlj

S: And to you too sweet angel