Month: June 2020

Today’s not the day the sky will fall down around my ears – 30th June 2020

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It’s been raining on and off for the last two weeks or more and finally, the ground has gotten soaked enough that big pools of water remain around our garden after the daily storm passes through. The frogs are going crazy, croaking across the valley. The snakes must be happy to be able to easily locate their food again. What a dangerous life. Having to call out to find your mate, only to be swallowed by a hungry snake.

Kim Chi, our killer cat, was found one morning munching on the guts of a bird in the dining room. How thoughtful. Amy woke me up to come and help clean up. There were bird feathers everywhere, strewn across the floor, table and lounge. I love our animals and I also love the birds that come to visit our garden. Leave them alone Hellcat!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I have been able to adapt to the Thai style of working (so far). Disorganised, short notice, changing decisions…. It’s all good.

Brain dump

Home workout warmup – first time – just the warmup makes me tired! Start somewhere. Itchy throat – can’t get sick. Itchy leg – something always biting.

All our fish dead again. We can’t take care of them for some reason. Jukebox – Happy – I don’t know who sings it – George someone. Today we will make a video and I will hate this song even more.

Feel good – a little tired. But good. thinking about Hayden but have an idea how to help. Can I just be me? Too late to be tough on him.

Thinking of poor kids in China who walk 5 km across rough valleys to get to school. Just primary kids. Predictably they want to be soldiers. They are tough. Circumstances dictate. No one’s fault. Everyone wants to be someone else for a while. But without the effort. Like a video game.

But did it really turn out bad? – 29th June 2020

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Madness – Baggy Trousers on the brain box. George mentioned them last week.

What was my dream? I remember not being very happy about something. I want to sleep more. Beautiful clear day today bright and sunny but not hot yet. Eaten by mosquitoes. Amy’s birthday – she got sad-drunk last night after her parents had a fight discussing their property and who it should be willed to. Amy feels her mum loves her brother more than her and has felt that for a long time. She said I was lucky to be an only child. Maybe.

Itchy itchy – mini workout. Work my way up. Dentist today and need money! Eat and drink – go out tonight – not sure yet. Itchy itchy everywhere. Meditate it away.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a sunny morning, time to wash clothes.

Society’s glue bag smothers – 26th June 2020

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Looking forward to a good day today. Coriky on jukebox – don’t know song title.

Fun dream last night. Met Cake – she is still cool. Wonder when I’ll see her again. Muslim food – Yum.

Amy happy – friends moving near here – excellent news. Update Coach app – new habits – feel myself improving. Watched Sydney Swans game last night but that wasn’t fun.

Dodgy knee maybe okay now?! Realise last night that it’s not hurting anymore. Fix my toe next?! Hope. Bubble of hope. Rubber bubble of hope! Someone fix my neck forever! But don’t kill me I don’t want to die yet. Gonna happen any time. History – doomed to repeat it. Humans innit?

De Lanna by the river – enjoy your thoughts flowing by.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I spent time to put up our decorative lights last night. It was fun and they look cool.

To-do list

  • Compliment – silent wishes – savour ½
  • Finish audio for ‘good friends’ clip ✅
  • Get next blog post ready ½
  • Record new TCRAH in evening? ½
  • Scan photos

Now it’s Monday evening. The weekend was a little bit of everything and I was either lazy or too busy to write here but I’ve been feeling fine, getting things done and keeping my head straight. I didn’t get enough sleep last night though – it was Amy’s 41st birthday – dinner with her, her grandmum, mum and dad – and drama.

Anyway, I need to sleep so will come back and write more tomorrow, along with an updated checklist.

Our final day of freedom before students return to school tomorrow. The last two days have been lazy, hot and humid with nice bright sunshine. Though as I’m writing another storm has blown in from the mountains. It’s lovely to cool down but damn, that rain is cold and the air is still warm.

Feeling good again today doing bits and pieces for my blog, a little bit of video editing and drinking coffee. I cannot complain about my life situation currently. I’m happy to be healthy and able to enjoy it. I’ll try to maintain it.

These pleasures a wayward distraction – 25th June 2020

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Quick one because want to do longer meditation. Woke up at 4:30 – hard to sleep. Tired now. Rub my stomach – left-hand side tender. Happy.

Hayden wants a face tattoo. Why? Will further isolate himself. Hope he doesn’t do that. Ugh.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have the opportunity to sit and enjoy conversations with people I like.

To-do list

  • Film story in canteen – have fun ✅
  • Silent wishes – compliments – savour ✅
  • ‘Thank you’ mantra and meditation exercises ½
  • Edit and schedule two blog posts ½
  • Plan tenzenmen Google site?

I enjoyed today though have been worrying about Hayden a little as he was talking about getting a face tattoo! Now, in theory, I have no objection to this but I think he cannot reasonably justify doing such a thing. Of course, he tried to justify it but it’s not reasonable. He is low in confidence and self-esteem and wants to push everything away from him.

It’s one thing to say that people shouldn’t judge you by your looks and if they do then they’re not worth knowing – but that is also a judgement back on those people. It would immediately cut off so many future possibilities.

I felt good again and had fun with the student teachers making a small video and planned for some more audio recording tomorrow. It was an entertaining and happy day.

Turning a new leaf, yet I am free – 24th June 2020

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Slept for more than a day – day off school – sleep sleep sleep. Last night – couldn’t sleep. Now tired but have to get things sorted for visa.

Also now have work to do at school – feels much better. George goes overboard in happiness sometimes – it feels like he’s not sincere but that is he is doing it on purpose to make himself and everyone else happy – so what’s wrong with that? I guess it’s the lack of sincerity but so what? Maybe he’s doing it just to show me that this reaction is the best way. Actually, during the time I felt this from George, I didn’t really feel negative about the request (of having to do work) from school anyway. Even the lack of clarity didn’t bother me too much, though I did start to feel annoyed with the lack of communication due to the language barrier – re: they couldn’t accurately explain what it was they wanted. But anyway – I think we got there in the end and I got to work which was good

G.I. – Beyond/Public Stage – hard to turn off my mental jukebox. Cool, refreshing temperature this morning. Starting to get humid now – creatures creating noise in our garden – what is it? Investigate.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I am well-organised and can get everything done that needs to be done.

To-do list

  • Enjoy lesson preparation ✅
  • Update bank passbook ✅
  • ‘Thank you’ mantra ½
  • Project silent wishes – smile – compliment ✅
  • Remember those meditation exercises ½

Pretty good day today. Lots of running around to get everything for my visa application – which it turned out that I couldn’t do because my money hasn’t been in the bank for two months yet. Have to go back next week. I joked before about how many times I will have to go back. Should all be good next time though.

I enjoyed putting together some video and audio for our future lessons and got some good ideas for role plays and hope that tomorrow we can do a little filming in the canteen read for an idea I have. I can plan some of those other ideas during the day too. I’m keen to put a bit more effort into these videos this time, especially as we don’t really need to teach.

Feeling good and reasonably confident at the moment. Double meds, no alcohol, no painkillers. Still have a headache though.

We got that attitude! – 21st June 2020

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I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch the football in Australia from here in Thailand. It’s a nice feeling when your team does well.

To-do list

  • Visa in the morning ½
  • Enjoy drive and visit with Matt ½
  • More blog posts
  • ‘Thank you’ mantra ½

Damn, something happened to me on Sunday. I went to visit Matt and he showed me all his cool modular gadgets which was pretty interesting. After a couple of hours though I suddenly felt like I’d had enough and left quite abruptly. I didn’t really understand it – it seemed like it was time to go.

I got home and felt ok but perhaps a little odd. Amy came home and we got into a ridiculous argument over nothing so I went to lie down and breathe away the emotions. Then suddenly I felt super tired so took a shower and went to bed. This was at about 6 pm.

Apart from waking up at different times for about 3 hours total I slept through until Tuesday morning! I just felt completely exhausted and had a headache and wondering if I still have some residual pain from the work on my tooth (headache is on that side). I can also imagine this made me cranky on Sunday too.

Needless to say, I didn’t get much of anything done during this time. Now I’m having to run around to prepare things for my visa. Our annual fun week!