“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Still can’t remember date – 10th maybe. Woke up tired – enjoying all the things I do when I’m awake so want to stay up and do them!
Started re-watching Homicide – great show. Good classes yesterday. Still happy with the way things are. Need to get back to my proper journal.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my friend Ellen in Nanning. I have known her for more than 12 years now and she can help me find students in China.
Brain dump – not sure date – two-day break from routine – hard to maintain on weekend but I really should try to do it. Stop with tramadol. Tramadol has helped me stop drinking – now stop taking it.
Good weekend come and gone – don’t be sad because today will be great. Rob Whitham in my dream – it was interesting – I wanted to stay in it but can’t remember what happened now. Oh, cats so cute this morning.
Life is very good – I hope we can keep it this way for a good long time. We are so lucky.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my masks to help protect me from viruses. I’m getting used to wearing one now.
I am so happy and grateful to be more in control of my emotional state and to have more patience with Amy when she is feeling upset and sad with things.
I am so happy and grateful to sleep in an extra 45 minutes this morning. I had nice dreams.
8th August 2023 – Whilst I try and find something different to be grateful for every day, inevitably this idea comes up a few times. I have lots of vivid dreams these days and love to be in them. I don’t appreciate the lost time that comes with sleep though.
Music from The All Seeing Hand, Rolling Stones, Bongwater, Blurt, Shield Your Eyes, Cat Power, Josiane Rey, Rhino 39, The Fall, Cause for Effect, XTC, Moody Blues, Racebannon, Heavy Vegetable, Sir Millard Mulch, Big Block 454, Steve Harley and the Cockney Rebel, Ruins, Scrid and Christmas.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have been teaching all morning. I think the students are enjoying my lessons and I am really happy with them.
I am so happy and grateful for enjoying being at school and even a little disappointed that I’m not teaching today. But that is good too. Tomorrow I have to teach a lot!
To-do list
Now it’s the 15th of August and this journal has gone by the wayside for no real good reason that I can discern. It feels like it’s a time issue. Now that I am teaching on a more proper schedule maybe things feel a little more secure. I’ve not had or made time to think too much about things so some of the habits I’ve been trying to forge haven’t quite stuck yet – such as the awards.
I do find myself reminding myself about complimenting and I have been doing well with morning routines. One thing of concern is that though I have mostly been feeling extremely happy there have been a couple of occasions that I have felt extremely down too. I can think of specific incidents that caused that feeling but frustrated that I understand that they are minor and not in my control but I’ve been unable to control my own reaction and behaviour.
The plus on this is that I am well aware of my feelings and though I might tell myself that living is pointless, I know that these feelings will pass soon enough – and they always do.
I’ve moved this journal back to the bedroom in the hope I will write more often again – even if the entries are briefer. I know doing this practice is helpful.
I am so happy and grateful that I have more energy these days. It helps me make better decisions.
To-do list
An enjoyable day as I only had to teach for 2 hours and it was with 1/9 who are the best students. I felt more grounded today and I was looking for opportunities to do the things on my list but often they came to my mind at times when it was too late to action. I want to keep on trying to form the habits of the first 3 things on my list – I feel like they are important.
Kru Fluke helped me with some printing today so I gave her an award of my favourite teacher of the day but after that, I forgot about any other awards. As I was writing this I also remembered that I told Dylan he was a good guy for helping me with something too – so that’s my two compliments.
I helped Dylan a little in his class too so I’m going to cross off my Random Act of Kindness achievement for today. I’m actually finding it difficult to stay out of other classes because I just enjoy being around the students and helping out.
With nothing much else to do for preparation for work I could spend all day reading or listening to podcasts or watching vides but helping out is making me feel happy. I’m really enjoying working here and I have to thanks George a lot for that.
Active brain this morning. Shattered – try to do Drops* but distracted with things at school. Nothing important – just remembering things but coming and going all the time.
Brain jukebox is When Chimps Attack – not sure why – but enjoying it! We’ve been here three years now and I have memory flashbacks to Sydney that make me miss it a little sometimes.
First IELTS lesson for Kelly last night. I did well. I put too much pressure on myself really. She needs a lot of work – maybe not ready, so thinking about how to adapt the curriculum.
Okay, exercise time.
*Drops is a language-learning app and was part of my morning routine for quite a while.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have friends around the world who can help me grow.
Dream of sleep and shape-shifting snakes. Very tired – short fuse with drunk Amy last night – wore me out. Should I drink? Don’t want to much any more but feel at odds with Amy’s lifestyle. Maybe motivate her somehow. Not talked with her this morning, not sure what mood she is in. My mood is better but niggly, can push me over. Must try to stay calm.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I can wake up in a more reasonable mood than the one I went to sleep in.
I am so happy and grateful for all my clothes even though I’m usually only wearing shorts at home. A nice shirt makes me feel good when I’m working.
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