I am so happy and grateful that this morning I can go and read and drink coffee in my regular weekend cafe and then I can come home and swing in my hammock and watch the football. I must remember how much of a good life I have and not to take it for granted. I am better off than a large percentage of the world population and I value that very much.
It’s been a while. Things have been up and down. I wonder if I am becoming bipolar in my old age!?
Last week, I had what felt like a severe brainfart – not sure if it was purely emotional or driven by something physical, as I had to take a couple of days off work, during which I mostly slept. I seem to go through this cycle every two or three months – just get exhausted for what feels like no real reason.
I don’t feel overworked or overstressed – it just feels like a sudden illness. I always put it down to minor reoccurrences of glandular fever, but who knows? I went to the hospital, and they just said I had a cold, which seemed like a cop out.
By last Friday, a week after that exhaustion, I felt great again – almost ridiculously good. It was strangely noticeable.
On the Wednesday, I went home in a black mood after getting a message that teachers had to stay at school until 4.30 pm, even though we finish class at 4 pm.
I’m always keen to get home quickly and enjoy my free time, and this news had me contemplating quitting again. But luckily, I got back into reading ‘How To Think Like A Roman Emporer’ again, and it offered some perfect advice as a reminder.
The fable is of the dog tied to a cart. If the dog pulls against the direction of the cart, then everything is a struggle, and the dog will suffer. Sometimes, the better option is just to go with the cart and find a way to get loose later.
Thankfully, Thursday was also a holiday. I went back to work on Friday, still a little sulle,n but something clicked inside me again to pick me up.
My final online class of the day, with some of my favourite students, went easily and quickly, and I let everyone finish early but something that made me feel good was a couple of students not wanting to leave and wanting to talk more, practice some listening and speaking and just have some no-pressure learning.
I got home energised and excited despite having a difficult broken sleep the night before and nailed some guitar learning for myself – sometimes a few days break helps you get back to it and better.
Back to these online classes again tomorrow. I hope I wake up on the right side of the bed, so to speak, or that the good things I’m doing for myself – yoga, meditation, study etc – remain in effect. Good, good, good.