Month: August 2021

Check and Balance – 21st August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

We found the gold, inspired by dreams
Furious labour generated the means
No stone unturned, nothing it seems
– Left resting on laurels waiting

On the other side of the rainbow where
Further riches found to those who dare
Turn off your taps from which to share
– Numbers ever bigger accumulating

Now standing alone on an empty shore
The sun is setting, there’s nothing more
Was it all worth the fighting for?
– To watch accounts ever-inflating

For all your atoms the gods reclaim
There’s no longer a use for your name
The prince and the pauper – all the same
– The imbalance of our own creating

Some inspiring lines from ‘Abe – Wrong for all the Right Reasons’ by Glenn Dakin
13th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Chemistry

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the crispy peanut brittle I bought yesterday and ate today. It reminded me of my mum who used to love getting it when her teeth were still good. I hope my teeth can hang in there!

After wearing a neck support, which has been helping, I woke up today worse than ever. Actually, I woke up fine, but then twisted wrong and now struggle to look to the left. But in good news, my lower back is feeling a bit better now.

Yesterday was an odd one as we ran around with my visa application. I had to cancel one of my classes cos I was still stuck at Immigration, and then I discovered that my 90-day check-in wasn’t renewed with my latest visa, which I had assumed it would be, so I got fined for not doing it in time. That pissed me off so I cancelled my other class for the day and came home and happily dozed while listening to music instead. It was sweet bliss!

Oh Stupid War – 19th August 2021

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For greater glory, you did stand
Confident in your beliefs
Generals commanded sacrificial grunts
Saying God commanded your chiefs

The glory brought riches and power
For brief moments to enjoy
Until a greater God has risen
With further power to destroy

Oh, stupid war, you’re here again
And more lives will be expended
A challenge, then, to turn it around
To see burned bridges mended

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for an extra 20 minutes of dosing (again) this morning – to have strange poetic dreams and semi-conscious thoughts to inspire the day.

I notice that I talk so little sometimes that when I do have something to say, I can’t stop myself – my mouth gets dry from saying so much. Right now, I’m finding I don’t have much to write here!

I’m in my online class with 2/11, and they (some of them at least) are busy doing writing and reading a short story. I’ve got these classes well organised and quite productive, I think. It’s difficult to ‘teach’ them anything much, so I’m just having them practice and revise as much as possible.

The upside for me is that there is not much for me to do in class, but I end up doing a lot of extra things for them outside of class. I also think some students don’t get it – they are expecting an hour or so of a teacher rambling on and then trying to figure out what they have to do. I’ll leave the talking to the Thai teachers – I want my students to learn the value of work and effort. It’s really divided my class up and I am learning a lot from it too.

Remembered – 18th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Dull light, half awake, in lucid dreams
Words arose to poem make, remembered as
‘An intimate melody to my ears reached
Through downy feathers, softened so
Was the tune of my fucking alarm clock!’

26th Aug 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – remember

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to all the people who help keep our electricity supply constant. It is something I had always taken for granted but now that I live in a place where it can be unstable I must remember all those who made it happen and continue to make it happen.

Struggling to savour, I notice. Maybe forgetting how good everything is, or the constant good feeling I seem to have these days, is becoming too normal.

Spent a lazy morning filling in the visa forms and reading, while drinking coffee. Arranged for my morning class to do work ahead of time so that they could skip my class if they wished, which freed me up!

Re-connected with Big Tom, who is still living in Adelaide, though no longer working at DXC – made redundant due to offshoring. Good to chat with him even if only through Twitter messages.

Trying to nail Scarborough Fair on guitar so I can complete the level in Yousician is driving me crazy and torturing my fingers. But never give up! It’s cool to think that by moving some fingers on some strings that nice sounds can emanate.

Looking forward to more Louis XIV tonight and comparing it to our current situation in Thailand. Also, reading about being a ‘good’ Dad and considering how I have lived my life has affected Hayden. He is struggling with addiction and depression, and I can’t help but consider my role in that. He is going to have a difficult time ahead.

Are You Louis XIV? – 17th August 2021

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Is everyone here just to serve you?
You’re no better than anyone else
Everyone must do what you say
You’ve got such a high opinion of yourself

God forbid anyone who crosses you
Or doesn’t always adhere to your wishes
The ladders climbed are full of snakes
Fallen from ballroom to washing the dishes

Superior attitude has poisoned the mind
The extended hand that must be kissed
The backstabbers are always plotting
And one day you’ll no longer be missed

Are you so noble you cannot see
The peasants that you thought to inspire
Turn against your arrogant commands
That they no longer admire

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our super tart passionfruit that I ate for breakfast yesterday. Its sourness lasted throughout the day in my mouth. It was delicious and difficult to eat!

Sometimes, the more you look at something, the more it makes you sick. Like eating too much cake or chocolate. I have to balance my reading about Thailand’s past, along with seeing what is happening here now and not get too disgusted with it all in front of Amy, as it only fuels her own first of disgust and will just make us both unhappier. We cannot close our eyes to the corruption we see and enjoy our lives fully. Ignorance really would be bliss. Sometimes, I wonder how to be more stupid.

Also, following the stupid build to potential was between the US and China and hoping that China can do it’s best not to get sucked in. Unfortunately, lots of westerners are getting sucked into the deliberate false narrative that the western media promotes.

It got me thinking about all the self-help methods, or even religious preaching, that advise on understanding, compromising and learning from each other. As the US fails, yet again, at violent suppression of others, based on lies, I wonder if it’s time for the Chinese to lead the way.

I saw a bizarre headline that indicated China would develop Afghanistan with infrastructure and modernisation, working with the Taliban. In return, the Taliban would move away from extremism and not support any terrorist action within Xinjiang. This headline seems too good to be true and maybe from a spoof website, but it shows that the methods the US has chosen in the past, which have continually failed, were not and are not the only option.

Even primary school kids understand that escalating a fight just brings more pain.

I’m starting to see the benefits of a one-party system where potentially anyone has the chance to participate. Without the regular 4 or 5-year cycle, waste of time and money on elections and one party undermining the other, often out of spite, a direction can be adhered to, and some stability maintained.

No society is perfect, and the US should stop pretending to be, because its faults are evident for the whole world to see.

Things I can control and things I can’t control. I still wish to say something, even if it’s just shouting into the wind.

Not In The Mood For It – 16th August 2021

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I woke up well but things took a turn
The fruit was off and the toast did burn
Driving in the rain was such a chore
The podcaster talking was just a bore
The thought of coffee didn’t improve
This bad mood I was needing to soothe
The big truck guy wouldn’t let me through
Things were getting worse – it’s true
Today’s headaches won’t let me be
But at least the dog was happy to see me
…..
So, coffee consumed, helped a bit
Things weren’t so bad, I had to admit
Just plough on through, get on with it
Even if everything returns to shit

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to play with Kim Chi this morning (and this weekend). She loves to rub her nose on my fingers and my own nose and purrs in happiness.

Almost missed writing this today as I spent my time adding posts to my blog when I was free.

The morning started off a bit down and a couple of very minor incidents almost brought me to the idea of having a shitty day but I realise this and kinda talked myself out of it and now the day has disappeared.

I’m once again grateful to my students in 2/9, whom I teach in the mornings, and who always seem to pick me up. I’m also really enjoying reading my books. I can get totally absorbed in them.

I did forget to call Hayden today, though, perhaps when I get home or tomorrow. I subscribed to Ryan Holiday’s dad emails in the hope of some inspiration for me to inspire him!

Sleeping Garden – 15th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

*Why do we sleepwalk and tread all over our hearts?
Do you feel as if you’ve come out of the soil yet?
Step into the light, it’s time to play all our parts
Reach for the sun, let’s see how dirty we can get.

*First two lines (and ideas) stolen from Glenn Dakin’s ‘Abe – Wrong for All the Right Reasons’
26th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Didi this morning as she let me try some of her lemon cheesecake that she made for Art at Utopia. Also to Gang – who shared info about his tattoos and his plans. They are both nice people.

Alice Wants a New Toy – 14th August 2021

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The new philosophy
The capitalist bottom line
The shuckster’s manipulation
Of the words on which you dine
Everything’s an advert
Everything is for sale
This charming man
And prepubescent female
The disposable income
For more disposable trash
There’s Mr and Mrs Jones
Borrowing more cash
It’s all a public image
A burning rotten lie
Paid for ten times over
And never questioned why

Nods to Alice Donut’s ‘Every Body Is On Sale’ and PiL.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my little afternoon nap today, listening to music and fading in and out. It was a nice relaxing time to savour.

Split Idea – 13th August 2021

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The birth of morning,
begin it all over again
The pen on paper,
pondering what it means

The curse of ideas,
coursing through my head
The blessing of words,
buzzing about my brain
The lack of time,
lurching ever onward
The thread of images,
turning me more insane

The death of days,
dying sunlight fades
The soothing sleep,
succumbing now to dreams

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my sunburn from yesterday’s ride. Somehow, perhaps from vitamin D, it has given me some extra energy this morning and I feel great.

In an effort to stop Amy from drinking all afternoon, I took her for a long exploratory bike ride, leaving after lunch and planning to get back before it started raining. The skies were cloudy and threatening, but as we went on, blue sky and sunshine peeked through. I set a target destination somewhere in the back of beyond and only checked occasionally that we were on the right track.

Amy was in good spirits but then began complaining of a sore butt. I, too, had a sore butt but that’s the price to pay for adventure. I stoped and Amy walked around trying to pump some blood back into her butt, and it became apparent that I’d missed a turn and we were now way off target. Not lost but directionless, I turned around and headed back, Amy now quiet as a mouse and hiding from the sun.

We got back around 3 pm, and it was only then that I saw how burned my arms, shoulders, and forehead were. A cooling shower and aloe vera gel helped a little, but I was hot and itchy for the rest of the day. I practised guitar for an hour or so and finally nailed some pieces I’ve been struggling with.

Anyways, I slept really well and dreamed that I’d been given a playful calf for some reason, and it made my dream really happy. Often these days I’ve been resetting my alarm to give me an extra 20 minutes’ sleep, but today I just got up and go. I didn’t think about it until I was exercising and was thinking perhaps a shot of sun yesterday had boosted my energy levels. The sunburn suggests having overdone it, but I’ll take it.

I did my usual 5-minute morning warm-up workout burpees, which I always struggle to muster up strength for and also my mini weights routine for my shoulders.

I’ve been feeling great all day. I hope it maintains through the weekend.

The Chaotic Era – 12th August 2021

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Always searching for something stable
Hoping that tomorrow the sun will rise
Campfires warming wherever able
Tomorrow’s fire fills half the skies
The pyramid’s cauldron is bubbling
Predicting the future, obviously uncertain
Our civilisation’s end is troubling
And the kings pull down the final curtain

*inspired by an early section of the The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin

Gratitude Journal

I am do happy and grateful to go on a long bike ride (even with Amy complaining) and get lost and just take in the scenery. I need to remind myself that the earth is beautiful.