Forcing this one out Like a rock-hard turd No ideas forthcoming Today I have no word
So I pushed and squeezed For the longest time Eventually, I came up With this little rhyme
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the crunchy muesli I bought yesterday and about to eat for breakfast as Amy prepares her workbench for baking her buns.
Another month down and all classes finished. It’s been a trip. There are a lot of Covid cases around Chiang Rai, apparently. It feels like the official figures don’t include any Burmese workers, where they live together in squalid camps and also cannot afford to isolate ‘at home’ for even a day. Whilst cases in general seem to be reducing around the country, potentially it could easily get out of control here as the country prepares to open up again. Despite this, I hope that the kids can come back next month.
After Amy and I are both vaccinated, I guess it will just be a matter of time before we catch the virus and hopefully we will be best protected. I’m of the mind I’d like to get it over with.
This morning there was a beautiful kitten sitting in the teacher’s room. No one knew where it came from. It looks and feels very healthy and it purred loudly when I picked it up. She (I think) followed me downstairs as if I were its new owner, which was tempting, I must admit.
When I came back after coffee, the kitten had been named Chicken and was comfortable on the lap of one of the teachers downstairs. I’m a sucker for a cute cat, even an ugly one, but adding another to our family wouldn’t be fair.
Are you listening carefully To the big world around? Are you looking where you’re walking Or just staring at the ground?
Notice all the details Little things easy to miss Be grateful with all your senses From which to bring you bliss
Breathe deep the air in thanks Test everything you touch Taste each gift of food With the passion you love so much
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the buttery smell this morning as Amy prepares for a busy day baking cinnamon scrolls.
Today I’ve been feeling a little antsy though I’m not sure why. I think maybe yesterday I spent too long sitting and my lower back and thighs felt sore and then I woke up with a stiff neck again. I wasn’t looking forward to another day of sitting, whether at school or at House.
So, as I was going for coffee I decided to head to 22 Grams and read there for a bit, before heading to House. How lucky I am to be able to go to two cafes before even going to work!
There’s talk that we’ll have no holiday this time and that’s kind of a bummer if it happens, but as Dylan said, it’s not exactly like we work that hard anyway. He and George don’t put in the same sort of effort as I do from what I can see and I don’t mean that as a comparison but as a statement that for them they are very relaxed about their classes and the work the students put in. I can’t help myself being fully invested in helping my students.
Nearing the end of the semester, I’m relaxing too but even though I can sit around doing as I like most of the day, I would rather be able to do that at home. Having said that, I probably wouldn’t get as much done, such as reading, blogging or even writing this!
George is getting excited now He really seems quite upset His words are getting shorter The angrier he will get
The world has pissed him off And quite rightly so The lying liars are lying again It’s really time for them to go
The sweat is across his brow His hat looks about to fly The answer to every question Is always, ‘why?’ ‘why?’ ‘why?’
An angry man shouts at clouds Morning, noon and night The thing is that what he’s saying Seems to be quite right
Reading Al Franken’s ‘The Truth With Jokes’ and watching George Galloway’s ‘Mother of All Talk Shows’ recently. It’s easy to get worked up. 11th May 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – mother.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to watch a misty sunrise this morning as I prepare for an easy day at school.
The days and nights are full, they go too quick. Even if they are full of nothing particularly special, the time just disappears. But I’m filled with happiness.
My student Aomsin is interested to be an exchange student so I thought I’d help out with some investigation. I can’t imagine that her family is that rich and I also haven’t been able to find any pricing. I’m just not sure how feasible it might be for her.
Considering whether perhaps Sharon might be able to house her but then don’t know how she might apply for local schools there. I guess I can ask at least.
I’d love to get every willing student overseas to see something of the world. It should be compulsory! In my Utopian world, anyway!
Maybe my enquiries will crush her dreams. That would make me sad.
I’ve had a long shower And I’m snuggled up with a book I can hear strange noises outside But can’t be bothered to look
I’m about to fall asleep The room is dark and black That’s when the screaming starts And when I know she’s back
She turns on all the lights And dances around the room Jumping up onto the bed I hope she finishes soon
She makes me laugh and makes me mad I’ll always love her to bits But right now I need to sleep And she’s really giving me the shits
Amy has turned much of our garden into a cactus oasis, not helped much by the long rainy season this year though. It was today I noticed that this delicate cactus was being held up by this tall ants nest, originally a stick in the ground. Ants will rule the world. They are also back in our kitchen building a small nest by the back door again.
Our neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, always enjoys coming to play but tends to go a bit nuts when he sees Kim Chi, who is usually behind a screen door inside her room. Today though, we’d just let her out when he decided to come visit and after a bit of chasing around the situation above occurred.
We worry that Tangmo could easily bite Kim Chi badly as he’s so much bigger and his barking and jumping around make her scared but usually, Kim will be the one chasing him away. Don’t fuck with our cats. Tangmo just seems to want to play but isn’t quite sure of the correct cat etiquette.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious ice cream that I ate two bowls of last night in a state of overindulgence.
Feel good today after forcing myself to do my minimal daily exercise on the weekend (this morning is rest day so I did yoga instead). I also ate two bowls of ice cream last night – which were freaking delicious but perhaps a bit too much!
Oh stayed over last night, though I was in bed by then and didn’t see her this morning either. Amy is giving her a bread-baking tutorial. Amy also did a pre-order for her cinnamon buns and got inundated with requests, so much that she will be baking for three days instead of the planned one.
I listened to day 3 of the gratitude course this morning, which gave me two very important reminders. ‘I dismiss any thoughts that entertain feelings of comparison’ and ‘I embrace my journey because it is uniquely designed just for me.’ I think these constant habits of mine are slowly having the desired positive effect, though I am not particularly challenged these days, or at least I feel as if I’m not, which could also be because of these habits.
The semester is winding down now and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that students return next semester, as I don’t have anything else planned if we continue online and I also want to start my experiment with 2/9.
Last week I was getting a bit frustrated with my guitar playing but yesterday I got back into the flow, teaching me that it’s ok to relax, take a break if necessary and try again at another time. But it is not acceptable to give up.
I’m also working up the free time and courage to get back into learning the keyboard and music software and thinking about making songs again. I know I can do it but I’m also aware of what a time sink it will be.
Amy is still constantly frustrated with the situation in Thailand and I have to try and deflect or point out our positives so that it doesn’t get her too depressed. I am attempting to deal with the situation here stoically and I am happy to tell Amy that I am ok living anywhere in the world with her.
When she’s drunk, she will chide me with ‘you love it here, you can stay’ and whilst I wouldn’t say I love it here anymore than anywhere else, I am happily aware of how easy my life is compared to the UK and Australia. Even so, I will give it up if it makes Amy happier with herself and her situation.
She’s out to meet her friends I’m home doing as I please I could get high, eat ice cream Or perhaps I’ll climb my trees First I have to wash up And make sure the cats are fed Actually, I’m feeling tired I think I’ll just go to bed
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for this pumpkin in my pasta for lunch. Food from the earth is the best!
Far across galaxies, I was taken Flying towards the story’s end A misdirection, a writer’s trick On which the reader may depend
A cliffhanger chapter break The reader left wanting more Another leaf is turned In this new world to explore
Better than a Netflix series Read a book and chill instead I wonder who will survive And who will end up dead?
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s friends who all ordered cinnamon buns from her when she posted online about them. She’s going to be busy.
Woke up this morning to Amy screaming ‘help’ and my name. I thought perhaps one of the cats had brought in a snake but it was just Cap and Tigger fighting each other again, clumps of fur scattered all about the kitchen and dining room. I don’t know why they have never gotten along. They tolerate each other but barely.
It wasn’t even 7 am but I got up and forced myself to do my mini workout for which I feel good for, right now. Must remind myself about this feeling each morning.
It’s a post-post-punk world Music totally deconstructed No alternative Alternative A disco ball disruptive Every dumb male makes music Click, click, bleep and hop Bedroom producers now equal In this new world of pop Indie kings sold guitars To take up regular jobs Making money on weekends With the twiddling of knobs Purists complain to deaf ears Yet this was always the goal Anyone can be making music Even if it is without soul So the punks both won and lost Perhaps they were never right Now there’s little to rebel against And everyone gave up the fight
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I remembered to write something today, especially as I forgot yesterday too.
Dogs jumped excitedly chasing thrown ropes Fireflies are buzzing about the grassy slopes The full moon rises beyond the growing storm Lighting spikes in 3D as the sky is torn
In silence, I take her arm with great care We watch in wonder, breathing deep the air This moment savoured we’ll never see again We dash undercover to watch the coming rain
This beauty all around we mostly never see So take a moment for yourself to truly be Sleep well each night, grateful for your days Close your eyes, settle now and give praise
Last night was a beautiful night with a perfect temperature and clear skies except at the horizons.
Amy went out to the shops as I was practising guitar in my room and when I’d finished, I relaxed inside, waiting for her to return. When she did, Tangmo had followed her in, so I knew it would be my job to get him back out, enticed with his favourite rope and as I stood trying to extract the rope from his jaws, a beautiful lightning display was taking place as a storm threatened. In the darkened sky, each flash of lightning suddenly highlighted the depth and beauty of the clouds, even in this odd monochrome. Sometimes the lightning was hidden in the distance, behind the emerging bouffant clouds along the lower storm line. Other times great spike shot out between the two frints and hung in the air for a second or two.
Closer to the earth, fireflies buzzed around the jungle growth and I took a moment to hold Amy’s arm and breathe in the joy of life. The impatient dog revised his attempts at pulling on the rope in my hand and we could only convince him to leave after substituting the rope for a fallen palm frond, which is like catnip for him for some weird reason. We quickly managed to close the gate and returned to some TV viewing before bed.
Finally, about a couple of hours later, the storm, which seemed to be coming and going, delivered some rain for about ten minutes and we contemplated sleeping without the aircon for the first time since the end of winter back in February. However, a couple of mosquitoes started attacking so we put the aircon on for a while to subdue them.
I was tired and slept almost immediately and deeply. I had a dream similar to a few nights ago, where I felt like I was about to be attacked, this time by someone at the window. I kicked out and screamed in my dream and also in my bed. Amy rolled over and asked if I was OK and I was kind of amused and really just wanted to go back to sleep. Eventually, I answered her and did, indeed, fall back into deep sleep.
I found out in the morning, however, that Amy was almost into her sleep when my scream woke her and she struggled to get back to sleep again. She was most annoyed but really, Amy is never a particularly good morning person. She can be far too clear and rational at that time of day, not soft and loving. But we laugh about it and I constantly feel a deep affection for her that I often don’t think I deserve.
The kids are bored just hanging out Breaking curfews and running about They’re ready for something, set to rise The fire is burning behind their eyes
The trigger arrives by train and bus Thinking ‘no one else can fuck with us’ The energy is bursting out of control Electric atmosphere to charge your soul
The movement grew to change the world Banners raised, freak flags unfurled Possibilities open to interpretations Underground rising across the nations
Inspired by listening to Joey Keithley of D.O.A. talk about travelling to their first show in San Francisco in 1980 (?). Some band members went by bus, another by train and a fourth by hitchhiking. D.O.A. were a pioneering band spreading their punk rock messages around the world. He said that at that time kids were ready for something, though they were not quite sure what it was.
Of course, there are other possible interpretations too.
I am so happy and grateful for all that I’ve achieved in my life so far. I am happy with the way I am. and the changes I have made throughout my life.
I took a walk over to Primary today and chatted with folks there and it’s still the same crazy nonsense as I when I was working there. One surprising thing to learn was about everyone’s dislike of Mike there now and not just because of his brownnosing ways but also passing on private information from their personal Farang teachers LINE group to the Thai teachers and, worst of all, fucking one of the Thai teachers.
Most of the other teachers know his wife so they are pretty upset about it. I know it’s not the first time for him either.
Anyway, hearing all this and all the other stuff from there made me appreciate not being there anymore. I feel good and relaxed today. Nice!
Nicky, you were right When you said you couldn’t do it You made so many mistakes Took your chances and blew it
You knew what was right But still chose to do what was wrong Now your houses are burning And the peasants hail rousing song
Consigned yourself to history The last of the clan to fall Your future will be repeated At the revolution’s final call
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that all our cats are happy and well. Usually, there is one that is sick but let’s hope we can stay like this for a while.
Seems to be some problems with electricity around the city today but I managed to get some amazing coffees in before that. It’s fantastically and eerily quiet – no low hum – just the expected noises of cars going by, people talking and birds cooing.
Ah! It’s back – that low hum from the fans is good, now I’m getting that cool air.
I spoke to Hayden yesterday, he sounded neutral – no real negativity or enthusiasm. I think it’s tough for him during these lockdowns and I hope he doesn’t self-lockdown when things open up again. Like what happened to me when meeting Bronwyn, I hope he one day meets someone who can change his life and move him forward.
Amy and I started watching The Last Czar yesterday and it is impossible not to make comparisons with Thailand. Will there be a similar conclusion one day?
1994ever 