Month: November 2021

Shooting Rainbows – 10th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Pointed words lost meaning and never became real
Maybe I’ve gone crazy, but it’s happiness I feel
My mind is ravelling, circled to the start
Painted rainbows shooting outward from my heart

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to the farmer and cows that eat the jungle growing on the land next to us. Those cows are eating machines.

If I only had three wishes, as some stories contain, then it is obvious that the third wish should be for three more wishes, over and over again! But what to do with these wishes? Knowing that a wish for a positive more often than not ends in a negative, for example, wishing to be able to have sex with that beautiful girl ends up with her getting pregnant!

So, perhaps my wish could be more even-handed; perhaps instead I would ask my jinnee to give me useful advice when I so required and I could choose to take that advice or not.

In fact, as I think more deeply into this, I realise that a jinnee is not required. We have everything we need already (speaking from my position of privilege, of course). Our jinnee is in our head, just waiting to be used.

As Amy considers starting a business in Australia, I am not so hot on the idea. I am not opposed to it and I know we could do it. I just wonder, what is our purpose in doing it? We could be successful and make lots of money but will that make us happier?

I know Amy is frustrated with where we are, living in Thailand but actually our lives are very simple and easy despite those frustrations. We have choices and neither of us works particularly hard. Amy loves to cook and serve people; her dream is a business like this. We also currently have the choice to do that here, as we’ve often discussed before.

I’m not going to try to convince her one way or another, I will be happy anywhere, everywhere in the world. I am happy to be with her, even if we are not always in the same place. I got my jinnee working for me right now.

The Week That Was – 4th February 1979

Lower The Flags – 9th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Flights of fancy, a child always spoiled
Political wrangling, in scandals, embroiled
A name in history, now forever soiled

A handy harem, each night to select
Behaviour fitting one of total disrespect
A country mourning its own death from neglect

Ignorance is the most practised of skills
Run away to a mansion in the hills
Escaping judgement on who pays the bills

An era ending not soon enough for some
Time to reflect on what has become
Lower the flags, put flowers in the gun

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to open the curtain this morning to thick fog, almost hiding the rice fields right outside our fence. It’s nice to wake up to cold air sometimes.

I lost it a little bit yesterday as I was saying goodbye to everyone in the teachers’ room and George refused to even acknowledge me. Dylan came outside and I asked him what was going on and he just said that George says I don’t talk to him anymore, so he’s not going to bother talking to me, even just to be polite.

I got pretty defensive at this but let it drop quickly and tried to forget about it. I just hope Dylan can see and understand George’s reactions for what they are but I feel that George will be able to persuade him whichever way he wants. It just feels so childish.

Even if I don’t like people I can still be polite. As I discussed with Bruno last week I’m not here to make friends and have a good time with everyone. I’m here to do a job and I want to do a good job – and I can have a good time doing that.

The opportunity arose to say hello to George today, so I gave him a cheerful ‘good morning’ and got a begrudging ‘hello’ in response. I just smiled under my mask and reminded myself of something I learned from George when he would say ‘I generate the atmosphere I wish to be in.’ Indeed.

I’m chilling in the cafe whilst preparing more work for the coming weeks. I hope these ‘off’ weeks can continue as it gives me lots of time to prepare.

Oh, last night I finished watching a short JTV series called The Queen’s Classroom in which a super tough teacher improves the students in similar ways to myself, though I am not as strict as she is. At the end of the story, the students agree that they will remember their teacher forever – in a good way. I hope that I can have the same influence on my students.

The work they are doing with me this semester will push them hard but I already get a feeling that they are very capable. I never want to underestimate their abilities and possibilities.

Reading the story of Aladdin. I’m only vaguely familiar with this story and I can see it not ending well for Aladdin. So, if I had a jinnee and unlimited wishes, from a lamp or ring, what would I do?

Out Of The Fire – 8th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Brother and sisters
Our differences are an illusion
To overcome our tribalism
Is the one correct conclusion
The madness of our tribe
Forbids us to belong
Our cooperation and spirit
Forge us together as one

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that my body had the strength to make it through my 30-day lose belly fat workout, even though I only did half of the last day as it has been two weeks since I was sick since I did day 29.

Once again, after a week of opening the school, 11 cases of Covid have been discovered in students. This time though, it appears that the school won’t return to fully online. Just the classes with the infected kids will study online for two weeks. That seems OK but I can’t imagine that there are not going to be more cases, identified or not. None of the classes I teach have a problem but both George and Dylan taught students last week who are now infected.

I sent a message to George as soon as I heard but he didn’t even reply. So weird. As Dylan and Amy have said, he must really hate me not to even respond when I show my concern. Whatever. I will just carry on as normal. I can’t control his actions so I’m not going to get upset by them.

This morning I clocked in and pretty much came straight to House to sit and drink coffee. As I have planned for my students to do work this week instead of having classes, I don’t need to worry myself with arrangements. The only thing I have to consider is that my students motivate themselves to do their work so I will probably spend a fair bit of time chasing them up.

So this morning I caught up on a backlog of emails, Thai study app and wrote a couple of poems. I’ll do a bit of reading today too – The Tale Of Alladin, who I only just learned is actually Chinese.

Tomorrow I can start work on preparing more lessons for future 2/9 classes. I just hope that my classes keep coming to school on alternate weeks and not go back to fully online. I can adapt easily enough but I think everyone, students and teachers, prefer face-to-face teaching.

The Week That Was – 28th January 1979

Ten Plagues – 7th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I got my ten plagues coming
They’re gonna put me straight
Find a path to victory
And I’ll never forget this date
Struggled through the sandstorm
Rivers of blood were spied
Soldiered through the pestilence
Frogs and flies all denied

Found a path to my heaven
The journey was a reward
Through three days of darkness
My life has been restored
The tragedy passed over
I did it on my own
I am my own god
And I’ll never be alone

I asked my students what topics they wanted to study this semester and one of the Christian kids wanted to learn more about the Plagues of Egypt. I didn’t really know anything about this story myself and after digging into it I wrote this poem.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Australia has changed their rules to allow Sinopharm vaccinated to enter without quarantine. This means that Amy can plan to go and visit now.

I slept through my alarm, dreaming deeply, watching kids play instruments, a boy holding a note on a trumpet until he collapsed and I woke up.

It’s a beautiful sunny, clear day and I’m listening to crazy industrial music whilst weeding and res-stringing my guitar. Last night Amy found out that Australia now accepts the Sinopharm vaccine so she can return to Oz without quarantine, so she is busy working out everything so she can go next month.

Heavy Lies – 6th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Seeking connections far outside of town
Wanting a verb but always finding a noun
A big nose, a smile upside down
Heavy lies the head that wears the clown

Trying to float yet about to drown
These waters swam are turning brown
This king is in a state of constant frown
Heavy lies the head that wears the crown

Inspired by a misspelling on an online post

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to sit in my hammock this morning and finish reading the Rolling Stones biography. It’s a nice and cool temperature as Tangmo and Kim Chi chased each other and sniffed around. Days are good.

Dragged myself up out of bed this morning as I was up later than usual last night, reading, trying to finish Cosey Fanny Tutti’s Art Sex Music – almost made it.

Utopia is closed at the moment due to one of the staff members catching Covid. It seems the main outbreak around here was from a Halloween event at a place called Retro Bar. Not sure where that is, somewhere on the university side of the highway.

Although we didn’t know it at the time, Aing was there too and I’d been trying to arrange meeting her as she was only here for three days. One evening, she messaged us that she was at Hope Bar, two houses away from us, but Amy and I were already in bed, old folks that we are these days. It was 9pm. So, as it turned out, it was good that we didn’t get a chance to meet this time.

So, with Utopia being closed, I had to do without my regular morning coffees and chose to read the Rolling Stones bio in my hammock, buffeted by a cool, almost cold, breeze and I did that for an hour or so until finishing the book. Hooray. The Slash bio next, as I continue on with the rock bio books on weekends.

Despite running around shopping, dropping off cakes and picking up coffees in the city, the day feels relaxed and stress-free despite all the potential for anxieties. My attitude is good, my head is in a good space and I’m chilling to new music and staring in wonder at my bookshelves, contemplating what to read next.

Condemned – 5th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Condemned to a life of luxury
Paranoia digs away respect
Seen through anger-coloured glasses
Your reality empowers neglect

Trapped in a downward spiral
Your happiness evaporating
Chased away all the pleasures
Now anxiously awaiting

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the coffee beans that came from all over the world to make my stronger coffee at 22 Grams yesterday. A really fruity flavour. I’m also happy and grateful to Bruno for paying for it this time.

A busy day running around, organising, getting everything prepared for my students to work by themselves next week so that they don’t need to attend class. I hope that enough students are self-motivated. It’s the first week so I guess I should give them a break but breaks are all they ever really get. I’d rather push them!

It’s great having students at school again. I love it when ones I don’t know try to talk with me or we can play around a little.

Lots of Covid cases around where we live at the moment. I don’t know what the future idea is. It seems inevitable that we will have to catch it one day. How do we manage that?

For instance, there have already been cases reported at school but there’s no protocol in place. Do we close the school? Close those classes with known contact? How many people have it undetected without symptoms? Have I had it already?

Of course, everyone is tired of the situation. Should we just get back to business as usual and accept the consequences?

Naked Cowboys – 4th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Two naked cowboys dangling their dicks
Deadset on destruction with their bag of tricks
The smartest of the bunch wandering the hills
Who can piss the highest, counting their kills

Sing it to the mountains
Sing it in the squares
The naked cowboy fucked it all
And pretends he really cares

Inspired by the picture and the American Military-Industrial Complex.
Shared to Word of the Day Challenge – naked

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that yesterday I was able to spend time preparing work in the cafe and get out of school for the afternoon.

A very nice day again. There was a big storm in the morning as I drove to work and traffic was bad around school and as usual, the car park and entrance was flooding, so everyone was stepping carefully.

I clocked in and dropped my things and ‘dashed’ down to House for a couple of coffees. Stuck in traffic, I calmed myself, knowing that I could spend this extra time listening to podcasts. I still had half an hour before class was due to start and the baristas were late to arrive but I was still calm and it gave me extra time to pet Tokyo anyway.

I made it back to school with enough time to spare to collect a speaker I needed for a listening exercise for my first class and got there to happy children, in both my class, and the one next door, where many of the kids know me from teaching them in primary.

Classes all morning were successful and my experiment with 2/9 seems to be OK so far, delegating a little of the responsibilities to group leaders. As they have chosen subjects and given me texts/websites to work with, I now am under pressure to put together lessons and classes in time for them. But I can feel, as I read through, that I have ideas about what they can do and what kind of work I can create for them.

Scoffed some lunch and went off to pick up Bruno. Took him to 22 Grams as he hadn’t been there before and we sat and chatted together as well as with Donut. I savoured my coffees and my time this afternoon and, after dropping Bruno home, had an hour to kill back at school in the teacher’s room, so read a few things and ended up working on 2/9 lessons.

I’ve really enjoyed the day and feel powered by the energy of my students and friends and that can override any negative thoughts I still might have in my head. I can acknowledge them and let them float away. I’m excited enough about all the things I still want to do for myself.

Big Numbers – 3rd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 13 Comments

I used to work for pennies
Amazed to see a pound
I thought that I’d made it
With the riches I had found

A million was the biggest
Number that ever existed
Until capitalism ran amok
And growth could not be resisted

Next came the billions
Followed by trillions more
What’s the next big number
And what’s it needed for?

I moved to another country
With an exchange rate that was fair
And the way they counted money
I could be a multi-millionaire

26th Nov 2025 – Shared with dVerse 1-2-3 Go!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my willingness and determination to work hard yesterday without complaint. I have inner strength now that I didn’t have before.

Read A Book – 2nd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Gonna be a good day, gonna read a book
Even the adults are smiling everywhere I look
The sun may not be shining but our hearts are bright
It’s gonna be a good day, gonna let in the light

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see my students back at school again today. They were happy to see each other but not so happy to study again.

Busy and mostly successful day at school. No time to read or write, really, and one hurried coffee in the morning. I felt good and happy, though.

But now I’m tired and feeling it a little. We haven’t been given any schedule for tomorrow yet, so I can only hope that it’s not as filled as today. Either way, I will cope and enjoy my day.

The Week That Was – 28th January 1979

Shadows – 1st November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

Within this oppressive system
The dividing line, it grows
The wealthy control the time
Whilst we’re living in the shadows

Try to climb this shit ladder
But the dividing line always grows
A blind eye turned towards
Those living in the shadows

How did it get to be
That the dividing line, it grows?
And the ninety-nine percent
Remains living in the shadows

There is no vision of caring
As the dividing line, it grows
The underclass just eats itself
Living in the shadows

The one percent destroyed the world
And the dividing line is gone
No one left to remember the names
Of the ones who claimed they’d won

Inspired by a classic late 80s Peter Milligan story ‘Shadows’ originally printed in 2000AD
29th Mar 2024 – Submitted to OLN 359 at dVerse

First day of the new semester and everything is the usual mess but I’m more used to it now and can accept it. Had a good chat with Champ in the afternoon about his beliefs about the future of Thailand. He isn’t happy with the current system but is optimistic about the elections next year. I don’t think it will be much of a change but I also can’t get a feel for the mood of the country.

I moved back into the teacher’s room and sat next to George again. He is still only politely communicating with me and won’t look me in the eye. What I have noticed more about myself is that the things that I read about stoicism and thinking, I’m always framing it into a comparison with me and George. He is good at many things that I would hope to emulate but I’m always classifying it as insincere when it comes from him. I don’t need to be thinking about how what I’m reading relates to him – I need to be concentrating on how it relates to me.

I do feel that I am behaving more as myself these days as opposed to trying to fit in with everyone there, to keep a good vibe. I don’t know how to describe this properly. The vibe is good as I am. I am polite and enquiring and take part in work discussions. I don’t, or no longer, really take part in what I guess could be called bonding exercises. I don’t really feel a need to bond with people on a superficial level. Playing Uno or Kahoot together is ok every now and then and maybe brings a good feeling at that moment but I feel like there’s no depth to it.

Sure, I may not be good at connecting deeply with people myself but I really detest the time wasted on superficial connections. I don’t want to be friends with everyone or care if people I don’t really like don’t like me either, but I will make the effort to make deeper connections with someone I feel great affinity with.

That’s difficult with this group of people due to language issues but I am interested in Champ’s values and thinking as he also seems to be interested in deeper concerns than having time for another round of Uno.

Have I talked myself around? Perhaps not yet. My thinking is something I’m still working on and something I will always need to work on.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the long sleep and pleasant dreams I had last night whilst it rained so hard.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 52